


Half Blood, Whole Heart

by buckyscrystalqueen



Series: Half Blood, Whole Heart [1]
Category: Sons of Anarchy, Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-11 22:34:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 122,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16861441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckyscrystalqueen/pseuds/buckyscrystalqueen





	1. Chapter 1

~~~~~~ SEPTEMBER 2005 ~~~~~

“Dean, take that case in Ohio Bobby just called about. (Y/N), you are staying here with me; I need your help with the research from here.” You spun away from your bag and your jaw dropped as you stared at your dad.

“You’re kidding? Why can’t I go with you or Dean?” You demanded as you glared down John Winchester. He didn’t look up from his bag on the bed next to you but you could see his face harden at your disrespect.

“Dean can handle that hunt on his own and I need…”

“Oh, you don’t NEED my help. This is just your way of keeping me locked away as always.” You interrupted as you glanced over at your older brother for some sort of help. You watched his eyes go wide and he shook his head as John stood up straight to glare at his little girl.

“You watch your mouth with me, girl. I need your help here.” You could feel the anger and hurt boiling inside of you. Ever since Sam left for college, you had been getting the feeling that your dad was singling you out and leaving you behind more times than not. Sam had been your protector; your best friend and he prevented that but with him gone, you felt just like the mistake you were.

“Dad, please don’t leave me behind again.” You begged as John collected his bag and he shook his head.

“I need you here and that’s final.” You felt tears sting the back of your eyes as he walked out the door without another word. You turned and looked at Dean as your tears began to fall.

“Take me with you.” You whispered as he stepped across the room and pulled you into a hug as your dad’s truck roared to life outside the motel room.

“Button, you know if I take you with me he will lose his shit.” You shook your head and pulled away as the sound of the truck faded away in the back ground.

“De, one way or another, if you leave me here, I am leaving. I’m not getting left behind again.” Dean blanched as you went back to throwing your things into your duffle.

“What? Where are you gunna go?!” You zipped the bag closed and turned around with a sigh.

“Stanford. Sam already said I could stay with him for a little while.” Dean shook his head as he flopped down into the bed next to you.

“Dad won’t let that happen. He’ll…”

“Yea, he’ll be pissed.” You said as you sat down on the edge of the bed facing your brother. “But he won’t come after me. You heard what he told Sam last year; ‘you go, don’t come back’. I’m not like you, Dean. I don’t want to live this life and be a hunter. I want out like Sam did! This is my chance…”

“Your chance to just leave me with him, that’s what it is.”

“De, that’s not it at all and you know it!” Dean stood up angrily and grabbed his bag off the table.

“You know what, I love you, (Y/N) but I want no part of this. The less I know, the better.” You jumped up from the bed and ran the few steps over to him as he ripped the motel room door open.

“Dean, don’t go like this.” He turned in the doorway to look down at you and you could see the hurt and pain in his emerald eyes.

“Look Button, I get it, alright? I just… fuck, I wish it hadn’t come to this.” You stepped up to him and gave him a hug as tears started rolling down your cheeks. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and kissed the top of your head. “I know you think he thinks you’re a burden that was forced upon him but he does love you, (Y/N/N).”

“I know he does but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m not the same as you and Sam to him.” he sighed and stepped back, holding you in front of him by your shoulders as his eyes searched yours.

“Just because you are our half sister does NOT make you different from me and Sammy. You are a Winchester and that is all there is to it.” He used his thumb to brush away your tears before he leaned down and kissed your forehead quickly. “Be safe, Button. Let me know when you make it.” You nodded as Dean turned on his heel and headed out into the parking lot. 

You stood in the doorway of the dingy Colorado motel room and watched Dean wordlessly get behind the wheel of the Impala. As the engine roared to life, your brother glanced up at you one last time before nodding and pulling out of the parking lot. As the sound of the engine faded away, you grabbed your duffle off the bed, glanced around the last motel you would ever be forced to stay in and walked out the door into the brisk mid-September morning air to start your trek to California without a single look back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Jesus fuck, it’s almost winter. Why does it have to be so damn hot in the mountains?” You grumbled to yourself as you trudged through Nevada. You had been walking for two days, ignored at least three dozen phone calls from your father and hadn’t run into a single person in almost four hours. You were just about to call it a day and find a shady spot to rest, when the roar of a motorcycle came around a bend from behind you. You whipped around with a small cheer of relief and a big smile spread across your face as the man on the bike approached you.

“Well, what’s a pretty little thing like you doing out here all by yourself?” The man asked over the loud purr of his sleek black bike. You shrugged as you hiked your duffle up on your shoulder a little more.

“Trying to get to Stanford; headed my way?” The man nodded as he began to take off his helmet.

“You’re in luck, darlin’. I can drop you off at the front door by tonight.” You smiled even bigger at your luck as you quickly situated your duffle straps over both your shoulders and took the man’s helmet as he offered it.

“You, sweetheart, are my savior.” He chuckled as you threw your leg over the back of his bike.

“Call me Jax.”

“(Y/N).” Jax glanced over his shoulder with a smile and you had to force yourself not to gasp at his stunning blue eyes.

“Well (Y/N), hold on tight.” The next few hours of the trip seemed to almost fly by and before you knew it, you were stopping at a gas station just inside the California boarder. You tossed your duffle on the ground by the pump as you climbed off the back of Jax’s Harley.

“So, if you can find me a bar near here and give me like… half an hour, I can pay for the gas.” You said as Jax cut the engine to his bike.

“A bar and half an hour, huh? Darlin’ if you wanna suck someone’s dick…” Your eyebrows flew to your hair line and you put your hands up in front of you with a laugh.

“Easy killer. My daddy raised me better than that. I’m no whore.” Jax glanced back at you as he headed into the gas station to pay. 

“Then what were you doin’ hitchin’?” He paused for a moment at the door and you gave him a half mouthed smirked.

“Couldn’t very well steal a car in the middle of the desert, could I?” He hummed in acceptance and nodded as he headed inside to pay. With a small giggle you pulled your phone out of your back pocket and leaned against the pump. Once it turned on, you saw that there were two more voicemails from your dad and a few new texts.

-(Y/N) I don’t know where you are but call me, now! -Dad

-Button, you doing OK?

-Young lady, I mean it! -Dad

-Just call me, please. -Dad

-Hey, it’s Sam. I’m using a friends phone- mine died in class. When are you getting here?

-(Y/N), this isn’t funny anymore! -Dad

You sighed and responded to Sam and Dean quickly before you went back to look at the texts from your dad. You knew you should call him and tell him you were OK but you knew the call would be traced in a heartbeat. You were just about respond with a quick text when Jax walked past you to his bike.

“So, who you runnin’ from, darlin’.” You sighed as you powered your phone off once more. You looked up at him as you shoved your phone in your back pocket.

“I guess you could say the family business. It’s a long, complicated story.”

“Hey, I wrote the book on complicated.” He ran his fingers through his long wind swept blonde hair and you shrugged as your eyes found the patches on the front of his black sleeveless kutte. You gestured to them before crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“Did the ‘Men of Mayhem’ help you write the book?” He smirked as he glanced down at his chest briefly and scratched at the short blonde beard he had.

“You could say that. Wrote a couple chapters, that’s for sure.”

“Did those chapters give you some good stories?” He nodded and laughed as he finished pumping his gas.

“Some good, some bad and even some ugly.” You smiled as he put the gas pump back.

“Would you trade them for the world?” He paused and looked over at you with a slight shake of his head.

“Not in a million years, darlin’.” You gave him a weak smile, reached out and gently pat his shoulder.

“That is where your complicated and mine are totally different. Come on, I need a drink.” You could see a slight look of concern appear in his eyes and his head tilted ever so slightly to the side before you pushed off the gas pump and grabbed your bag. “So, I’ll make a bet with you.” You said as you situated your duffle on your back as Jax climbed on his bike.

“Oh yea? And what would that bet be, darlin’?” You climbed on behind him as he turned his bike over and you rested your chin on his shoulder.

“I bet, I can make at least a hundred bucks within 45 minutes of walking into a bar of your choosing.” You should feel his chuckle against your chest as he pulled away from the gas station.

“What are we playing for?” He called out over the wind.

“I’ll give you half what I win for gas but you have to tell me a couple of your stories and if I lose, I’ll give you two hundred cash when you get me to my brother’s and I’ll tell you why I’m runnin’.” You felt him shrug slightly before he reached down and placed his hand on yours; tucking his thumb under your palm to indicated a hand shake.

“Got yourself a deal, darlin.” You smiled as he turned into a bar parking lot and you said a silent thanks that it was busy on a Friday evening. As you climbed off the bike, you handed Jax his helmet and dropped your duffle to the ground. 

“I need you to take this for me. Just find a seat, order a beer or two and let me work.” You said as you pulled off your flannel. As quickly as you could, you threw on a little mascara blindly, spritzed on a little body spray and adjusted your breasts a little higher in your favorite black bra under your white tank top.

“I thought you weren’t a whore?” Jax teased as you zipped your bag and you rolled your eyes as you stood up and handed him your bag of belongings. 

“Just start the timer, smart ass.” You said as you turned and headed inside. 

The second you stepped inside the poorly lit, small bar, you were slammed with the stench of stale beer and lingering cigarette smoke. You made a quick sweep around the crowded room to see who you could hustle. You sent out a second silent prayer when you saw a couple of intoxicated middle age men playing pool to your right and with a slightly annoyed sigh, you fake stumbled in their direction leaving Jax at the door.

“Hiya boys. What’s a girl like me gotta do to get one of you handsome men to buy me a drink?” Just like you expected, the two men nearly stumbled over each other to get to the bar before his friend and you took a moment to glance over at your ride with an almost evil grin. He laughed as he sat down at the far end of the bar to watch and he glanced at an imaginary watch as one of the guys came back with a beer for you. 

It only took a matter of minutes before you were throwing your first game. The whole time you played, you could feel Jax watching your every move. You tried not to, but you kept sneaking glances at him when you knew you weren’t being drooled over by the man you were about to flip. When he finally sank the 8 ball you put on your best fake pout and looked at him.

“Wait!” you said as you stood your pool cue in front of you. You purposely and slowly wrapped your hand around it as you played to your mark. “Let’s do it again. I bet you a hundred dollars you can’t beat me now!” As you spoke, you slowly dragged your hand down the pool cue to distract the guy in front of you and before he could completely comprehend to what you were saying, you had him agreeing with you. With a smile, you pulled out the last hundred dollars you had and put it on the table as your bait racked the balls.

“Bet she’s a shark.” His friend slurred as the man pulled out his wallet and added his bills to yours. You smirked to yourself as you bent down and broke the table, sending two solids into the far corner pockets.

“No, she’s not!” The man defended as you moved to his side to take your first shot of running the table. “Ass like that, she can’t be.” Just as you were about to shoot, you felt the man grab your hip and you quickly stood up straight and spun toward him.

“Now, now. Play fair. Don’t touch me and know that I won’t ask again.” You said sternly. The man raised his hands with a chuckle and took a step back away from you, giving you the room to shoot. With a small nod, you stepped back up and took your shot, sinking two of your 5 remaining balls effortlessly. 

“Told you she’s a shark, Dave.” The friend said as you floated around the table sinking the last three balls perfectly. With a smug smile, you moved to the end of the table to find your final shot when Dave stood with his chest pressed to your back. Your stomach turned as his hand gripped your waist once more.

“Nice ass and taking my money? I don’t…” before he could get another word out, you reacted. You grabbed his hand and twisted it as you spun away from him. He stumbled a step as his intoxicated brain tried to figure out what was going on and you took that half second to send a left hook to his jaw. He collapsed to the ground with a shriek of pain and you drew your foot back and kicked him in the groin.

“I told you not to touch me, did I not?” You asked as you grabbed the cash off the table. “Thanks for the cash, perv.” Without hesitation you darted away from the table and saw Jax grab your bag. The two of you made a mad dash from the bar and you could hear the bartender yelling at you over the man’s pained groans and Jax’s laughing.

“You just handed him his dick on a silver platter, darlin’.” Jax said as you took your duffle and the helmet from him and you simply shrugged as you shoved the wad of cash in your pocket.

“I told him not to touch me. Not my fault he was too drunk to listen.” You jumped on the bike as the roar of the engine and the faint wail of sirens filled the air. “Jax go!” You shouted. You barely had enough time to grab his hips as he raced out of the parking lot and the two of you sped off into the night laughing. It only took three and a half hours to get to Sam’s apartment from the bar and as you were directing your new partner in crime down the brightly lit campus streets, you were suddenly wishing you could spend a little more time with him.

“So I lost the bet.” Jax said as he finally stopped in front of Sam’s place and you smiled as you got off the bike.

“Yea, you did.” You reached toward your pocket to give him some money. With a shake of his head, he reached out and took ahold of your wrist to stop you.

“Not necessary, darlin’. You care if I stick around though? I gotta few stories to tell ya.” You smiled and nodded as Sam’s voice yelled out to you.

“Did you seriously not tell dad you were leaving?” You spun in your spot as Jax cut the engine.

“Was I supposed to?” Sam rolled his eyes as he strolled over and you shrugged. “He left me behind again and wouldn’t let me go with Dean.”

“Yea well Dean has been calling me all day trying to find you because dad is losing his shit.” You shrugged once more as Jax took his helmet out of your hand. 

“Oh, Sam, this is Jax. Jax, one of my older brothers, Sam.” Sam looked up at the biker and you could read his look of shock, concern and amusement on his face. Jax simply smiled a gorgeous smile at Sam as they shook hands.

“Nice to meet you, brother. You got quite a little sister, here.” Sam nodded and laughed as he gestured the pair of you inside.

“Yea, she’s a real spitfire, alright. A spitfire that needs to call our dad.” He glanced back at you as the three of you climbed the stairs and you groaned.

“Can I call him off your phone so I know he won’t answer? I know he is probably trying to track mine.”

“I got one he can’t track, darlin’.” Jax said as you headed into Sam’s cozy little apartment. You nodded at him as you dropped your duffle in the living room.

“I’ll call him in a bit then. So where’s this Jess I’ve heard so much about?” Sam blushed as he headed into the kitchen and you and Jax sat down on the couch.

“She had class tonight but she might be over in a little bit.” He called out; returning a few seconds later with three beers. “So, how do you two know each other?” You gave your brother a half mouth smirk as you leaned forward to grab the beers and Jax answered for you.

“Actually, I saved her from getting heatstroke in Nevada. I was headed home and she was just wandering down the road like a little lost puppy.” You whacked at his knee as Sam laughed and you scowled at the two men.

“Well thanks for saving her for me. You live around here to bring her all this way?” Sam asked. Jax shook his head as he took a pull of his beer.

“Not here; I live in Charming, ‘bout 3 hours up from here. (Y/N) just seemed like someone I needed to get to know.” You smiled and glanced over at him.

“I seem like someone you need to get to know… how do you know we aren’t like a family of serial killers?” Sam laughed and Jax shrugged.

“Are you two serial killers?” You smiled at him and looked at Sam.

“No bullshit, how many guns you got in this room alone?” You asked as you reached down, pulled your hand gun from your boot, and laid it on the coffee table.

“No bullshit? Two but that is just his room and no one else knows about them.” Jax sat up straight and looked at you and Sam.

“What the hell do you guys have guns hidden for?” You laughed as you put your hand on his shoulder and pulled him back against the couch.

“It’s a family thing. My dad was in the Marines and he always taught us that you can never be to careful.” You lied smoothly. “And besides, I know you have a gun in your jacket pocket. I felt it while we were riding here.”

“Two actually.” Jax said as he raised his beer bottle to his lips. “You can never be to careful.”

“Mayhem?” You asked and he smiled.

“Mayhem.” 

“What’s Mayhem?” Sam asked as the two of you took a sip of your beer.

“Well, I am part of a motorcycle club called the Son’s of Anarchy. It’s for members who have umm… you know, done time… for the club.” He said as he pointed to the patch on his kutte.

“Way to go, (Y/N). Not only is he a biker but he is part of a biker club. Dad is… no, fuck that DEAN is gunna have a field day.” 

“Dean is not gunna have a field day because you, Sammy are gunna keep your trap shut.” You said as you shook your head. Sam cocked his eyebrow at you.

“Oh yea? What’s in it for me?” You let out an almost evil giggle as you crossed your knees and tilted your beer at your brother.

“Me not telling De about the chick you accidentally deflowered in the back seat of his precious Impala.” Jax spit out his beer with a laugh as Sam’s face dropped.

“You wouldn’t…” Sam threatened and you smiled.

“And neither are you so there is no need to worry.” Just then, the front door opened and a beautiful blonde walked in. Sam lurched from his chair and walked over to her.

“You didn’t tell me you were having friends over.” She said as Sam bent down and gave her a chaste kiss.

“Not so much friends. Jess, this is my sister, (Y/N) and her friend Jax.” You stood up and walked over to Jess with a giant smile.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you. I was starting to wonder if Sam was making you up.” Sam blushed as you gave Jess a hug and she giggled.

“Nope, I’m real. Are you guys staying here tonight? I can make up the guest bedroom because I know Sam didn’t.” Your smile faltered and you looked over at Sam.

“Honestly, hadn’t gotten that far. I got two hundred off some handsy sap so we can just get a hotel room for the night and go from there tomorrow?” Sam shrugged and you turned around to look at Jax as he got off the couch. He shrugged as he tucked something into his jacket. With a quick glance at the table, you saw your gun missing and when you met his eyes once more, he gave you a knowing look and a small nod.

“Hotel works fine with me if you don’t mind me crashin’, darlin’.” You smiled at him and saw Sam cringe out of the corner of your eye.

“Call dad.” He said as he pulled you into a hug. “And we’re sleeping in tomorrow so don’t wake me up before 11.” You gasped as you stepped back and looked at your brother.

“Sam Winchester sleeps in?! Have I entered some sort of alternate universe?” You teased and your brother scowled.

“Shut up. Call us for lunch or something.” You gave Jess another hug as Sam and Jax shook hands. Sam handed you your duffle and almost rushed you out the door after. You giggled as you headed down the stairs.

“He’s really freaking tall.” Jax claimed as the two of you walked across the grass to his bike.

“Yep. He’s like 6’4” or something. My dad and my other brother, Dean are both around your height and then you got me at little old 5’9”.”

“My friend, Opie is same height as Sam.” Jax said as he handed you his helmet and you nodded as he started up his bike. “But he also has probably fifty pounds on your brother too so he looks like a brick shit house.” You laughed as you climbed onto the bike behind him.

“Yea, Sam’s a little book worm nerd but he is still pretty strong. Dean is the one who is the family’s brick house. Oh and by the way, thanks for grabbing my gun off the table so Jess didn’t see it.” He nodded as he pulled off the curb and took off down the street.

“You got it. I’ll give it back to ya at the hotel darlin’.” You nodded against his shoulder as he rode off to find a motel. The farther he got away from Sam’s place, the more dread built in the pit of your stomach. Sure, you were 22 years old and more than capable of making your own choices but you had never disrespected your father this much to just take off without a word. You were so lost in thought you didn’t notice Jax had pulled into a hotel parking lot or ask you to get off his bike so he could get a room. His hand patting yours for your attention, however, caused you to jump nearly clear off his bike.

“Easy, darlin’, it’s just me. I can’t get off until you do. My kickstand’s a little fucked up right now.” You blushed and got off the bike with a heavy sigh. He gave you a smile as you handed him his helmet. “Look, I know I don’t know shit about the story and I know the call won’t be easy… but if this is what you think is best for you, do it.” You nodded as he pat your shoulder and headed inside to get a room. You resolved to check in with Dean first as you waited and he picked up on the first ring.

“Where the hell have you been? I have been calling you all day!” You laughed as you sat down on the curb and you rested your elbows on your knees.

“My phone died while I was walking.” You lied as you ran your fingers through your (Y/H/C) hair. “I’m in Cali, just left Sam’s and I’m getting a hotel room for the night.”

“Button, you need to call dad. He has been screaming at me for not looking out for you for two days. I have a rougarou to go after and I can’t…”

“De, I know.” You interrupted with a sigh. “I’m gunna call him off a friends phone when I get into my room.”

“A friend? What friend? You don’t know anyone in California.” Dean growled and you smiled.

“It’s a friend, De. His name is Jax. He’s this big scary old biker dude with a long grey beard and a pot belly to boot. Totally legit, knives, guns and tattoos and all.” At that moment, Jax walked around you to look at you questionably and you fought to stifle your laughter as you put your finger over your lips. Dean started screaming.

“I know you are lying right now because you know I would murder you if you were staying in a hotel with some strange old guy, (Y/N). Cut the shit and call dad before I drive out to Cali myself and drag your ass back to Colorado to talk to him.”

“OK!” You laughed as you stood up from the curb. “I gotta go. Biker boy is back.” 

“Swear to fuck, Button, you’re gunna be the death of me.” Dean groaned and you shrugged as you grabbed your bag off the ground.

“I know but you still love me.” Dean groaned once more and hung up the phone as Jax dropped the helmet on your head.

“Old biker dude?” He asked as you put your phone in your pocket and you giggled.

“Yep. I technically didn’t lie to him completely but I made it so far-fetched that he wouldn’t believe the truth.” Jax nodded as you both got onto his bike and he started it up. He drove around to the back of the building and parked in the nearly empty parking lot right in front of your room.

“So I paid for two nights, just so you could figure out what you wanted to do.” He said as he let you into to your room and he handed you a burner phone. “And I will agree with your brothers and say you gotta call your dad and at least tell him you’re OK. Family is important. I’ve been dying for a smoke for like 2 hours so I’ll be right out here.” You nodded and took the phone and with a small smile, he closed the door behind him. 

You stared at the piece of plastic in your hand for a minute before you forced yourself to call him. You let it ring once, before you hung up and immediately called right back so your dad would know it was you.

“(Y/N)?” John’s panicked and angry voice shouted into the phone. You sat down on the bed against the headboard and nodded at nothing.

“Hi daddy.” You could hear his sigh of relief through the speaker.

“What are you doing? Why did you just leave? I needed you here!” He shouted and you instinctively shrunk away from the noise.

“Daddy… I couldn’t stay anymore. I don’t want to be a hunter; I don’t want that life!”

“I don’t care! I needed you here. You can’t just leave me on a case like that! You could have gotten me killed!”

“Dad, me making the choice to leave wouldn’t have gotten you killed. You did just fine on your own when we were all kids before you dragged us into the hunting life. Just because…”

“You watch your mouth with me, young lady! I am still your father!” He shouted and you shook your head.

“I’m well aware of the dad, trust me… but I don’t want that life. Look, I am safe. I’m with Sam and I’m gunna stay out here for a while to get some clarity. I’ll be OK and I’ll be back…”

“If you choose to stay out there with your brother, don’t you dare come back either.” He said. You knew those words were coming yet they still stung and your breath caught in your throat. You could feel your tears starting to fall and you slowly nodded your head.

“Goodbye, daddy.” Without waiting for a response, you hung up the phone and quickly turned it off. You drew your knees up to your chest and rested your forehead against them as Jax walked back into the room. He let you be as he closed the curtains and took off his boots, kutte and jacket and he finally dropped on the bed next to you.

“I know you probably don’t want to talk about it so I ordered a cheese pizza because I didn’t know what you would like. And I’m sure we can find some sappy chick-flick or a nice porno to watch on TV while we wait.” You laughed as you wiped your tears off your cheeks and you glanced over at him.

“You’re just a real class act aren’t you?” He smirked as he leaned back against the headboard and put his hands behind his head.

“I’m a biker boy,” he teased “we are all really classy guys.” You shook your head as you grabbed the remote off the bedside table. The two of you sat in a comfortable silence as you found an action movie on TV and waited on the pizza that you insisted on paying for. Once you had eaten, the two of you settled back into the comfortable silence to finish the movie. Jax finally spoke as the credits started rolling.

“My mom holds this fundraiser every year that has nothing to do with the MC… the motorcycle club.” he corrected as you looked at him quizzically. He held up a cigarette and gestured outside and you stole the smoke from him and headed out the door. “So me and Opie and this douchebag we don’t fucking talk about anymore are all sitting back behind one of the food tents, smokin’ a joint. All three of us are wrecked; been drinkin’ and smokin’ all day and when we finish the joint, the douchebag tosses the roach away like a fucking dumbass. Shit lands in a box of fireworks.” You gasped as the two of you sank down against the wall and laughed. “I thought my mom was going to kill us. Middle of the afternoon and we got fucking fireworks zippin’ around this damn fundraiser.”

“Is that why you don’t talk about him any more?” You asked as you took a drag off the cigarette. You weren’t a regular smoker but you used to hang out with the kids who smoked when you were in high school. You found they were usually the most accepting group of people in the hundreds of schools you attended before you graduated. Jax shook his head.

“Nah, that fucker is dead to us because he is the reason Ope is in jail. Long story.” You nodded as you exhaled and you looked over at your new friend.

“This one time, Dean, Sam and I were waiting for my dad to come back from… work. It was right around 4th of July and we were all still young. I was I think 10 so Sam was 12 and Dean would have been 16. There was this fireworks stand like a mile down the road from the motel we were living in at the time and Sam and I were pestering De to take us to the fireworks show they were doing that weekend. Instead, Dean stole a car, drove down there, stole a shit ton of fireworks and we put on our own show in this field across the street. The three of us lit like 50 fireworks as fast as we could and then ran like hell before the cops caught us.”

“You lived in motels?” he asked and you nodded as you took a drag of your smoke.

“Yea. My dad traveled a lot for work so Dean, for the most part, ended up basically raising Sam and I.” You shrugged and took another drag of your smoke. “My dad had it rough. I’m actually Sam and Dean’s half sister. Their mom died in a house fire when Sam was six months old and my dad went through a couple months where all he could do was drink his grief away. I am the product of a one night stand. After my mother had me, she hunted down my dad who had started working as a traveling mechanic where he could get side jobs and shit. She dropped me off at his motel and left me there with a note that basically said that she never wanted kids and since he couldn’t be bothered to pull out when he was drunk, he could be stuck with me.”

“Damn…” Jax said as he flicked his cigarette butt across the parking lot. “That’s really shitty.” You shrugged as you took your last drag and flicked your butt as well.

“Yea well shit happens. My dad did the best he could. We always had food to eat even if it was just cereal and every few months we would spend a week with an old friend of his… but being the only girl in a family of boys ain’t easy especially when I’m not the daughter of the love of his life. Don’t get me wrong, my dad isn’t a bad dad. Taught me how to fix cars and how to protect myself and… other shit. I just didn’t want to be raised in the ‘family business’.” you said, using air quotes to make your point.

“You can fix cars?” he asked incredulously as he got up from the ground. You nodded as he offered you a hand and pulled you up with him.

“That I can. I worked in a shop for about four months in west Texas last year. Always shocks guys when they come in and see a girl working on their car.” Jax laughed and ushered you inside.

“Well, if you decide to stick around Cali, I can get you a job fixing cars at the shop with me. We can always use another pair of hands.” You smiled as you plopped down on the bed again and you crossed your legs and nodded.

“Honestly, finding a job was kinda my plan so I’ll take you up on that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Clay! I want you to meet someone.” Jax shouted across the Teller-Morrow garage. Your eyes danced around the space quickly as a tall, older man wearing a kutte similar to Jax’s came over. You couldn’t help but notice his large forehead that lead to white blonde hair, or the fact that his eyes looked a little to small and sunken in compared to the rest of his broad face. “This is (Y/N). I picked her up walking through Nevada. She’s a mechanic.” Clay’s eyebrows shot up, giving you a chance to see his blue eyes as he took off his sunglasses to look at you.

“You’re a mechanic?” He asked and you nervously twisted your fingers together behind your back.

“Yes, sir. My father and brother taught me and I worked in a shop in west Texas last year.” Clay looked you up and down once before looking back at Jax.

“Yea, she’s with me.” Jax said he said quickly and you glanced over at him as Clay nodded.

“Come with me.” The older man said as he gestured you across the garage with his finger. He stopped in front of an older Ford sedan and pointed at it. “Customer came in this morning saying it was making a clicking noise and it’s having problems turning over. What’s wrong with it?” You looked up at him, down at the car and then back up to him as you gestured to the vehicle.

“May I?” Clay nodded and he and Jax took a step back to watch. You quickly pulled your hair into a messy pony tail as you popped the hood. You moved quickly, checking the three things you assumed could be the problem under the hood and under the car before standing back up and giving the very intimidating man before you a small smile.

“Starter is slightly rusted so that’s why they are having an issue with that and by the looks of it, they haven’t changed their oil since the stone age because it’s nearly gone. Replace the seal on the oil as well, obviously because it’s dry, cracking and leaking, check engine for any possible damage… cylinders, pistons, crankshaft, rods, etcetera. ” Clay looked at you for a second before putting his sunglasses back on and looking at Jax.

“Take her to Gemma and get her in the system. She starts tomorrow.” You smiled as Clay turned around and walked away.

“Come on darlin’.” Jax said as he grabbed your hand, laced his fingers with yours and walked across the shop toward an office along the far wall. Despite the hand written ‘Do Not Enter’ warning on the door, he walked right in and smiled at the older woman behind the desk.

“Jackson, where have you been?” She asked as he leaned down and gave her a kiss on the lips. You smiled at her as she looked you over; her hazel eyes pausing on your hand in Jax’s.

“Mom, this is (Y/N). I picked her up on the side of the road on my way back from seeing dad and took her to Stanford to see her brother for a couple days. She’s a mechanic and Clay wants her in the system to start work tomorrow.” Gemma looked you over once more almost distastefully before looking back at her son.

“She with you?” She asked as she stood up from her desk. Jax smiled and squeezed your hand slightly as he glanced back at you.

“Yea, she’s with me. She’s no croweater; she’s different.” Gemma looked back at her boy before smiling and stepping in front of you.

“Well, (Y/N). Welcome to the family.” She put her hands on your shoulders gently and gave you a kiss on the lips and you fought to keep the look of surprise off your face when she leaned back. “Go get yourself set up in Jax’s room and come back here after lunch so we can get you all set up. It’ll be nice to have a female mechanic to show all these boys girls can do the hard stuff too.” She said with a wink.

“Thank you, ma’am.” You said as she kissed Jax’s cheek and she waved you off.

“No need for that ma’am shit. Just call me Gemma or mom.” You nodded as Jax almost dragged you from the office with a smirk on his face. Your brow furrowed slightly as he grabbed your bag off his bike.

“Why do they keep asking if I’m with you?” You inquired as the two of you headed across the parking lot toward a large building.

“It’s complicated. I live in the dorms here and you can’t stay in them unless you are a member or if you are my old lady. So they…”

“Wait… old lady?” You asked as you stopped walking. Jax stopped and chuckled as he turned back around to look at you. “You mean like girlfriend, ball and chain type shit?” He nodded.

“Yea. Like ball and chain type shit.” He mocked and you cocked your head with a cocky smile.

“You haven’t even taken me on a date and I have gotten more action from your mother than I have you and suddenly I am your girlfriend?” With a cocky smile, he cupped your cheeks and gave you a gentle chaste kiss.

“Like I said, you’re different. I don’t know what it is about you. Maybe it was the way you knocked that guy out at the bar. Maybe the fact that you are a tomboy girly girl. I don’t know but I plan on keeping you around town to find out and the only way I can do that is by making you mine.” You cocked your eyebrow and giggled.

“Do I get a brand and everything?” You teased and he laughed as he took your hand once more and the two of you headed into the building which turned out to be a bar.

“We aren’t barbarians- we don’t brand, darlin’ but if shit works out, you’ll eventually get a crow. I’ll put it right across your forehead. It can say ‘Jax’s smart ass’ instead of ‘forever’. I’m sure your brothers will love it.” You giggled as he lead you through the bar toward a hallway at the back off the room. You were surprised to see an even longer hallway that was lined with doors. Jax stopped at the last door on the right and unlocked it. “Welcome to your new home.” You looked around the room in surprise as Jax dropped your bag by his bed.

“Did I miss a tornado warning or something?” You asked as you stepped in and closed and locked the door. “God, it’s like sharing a motel room with Dean all over again!” Jax laughed as he stripped down to his boxers and flopped down on the bed.

“Yea, yea. Laugh it up.” He said as you stripped down to your tank top and panties and laid down next to him. 

“Thank you.” You said as Jax lit two cigarettes and handed you one. He looked over at you as you grabbed an ashtray off the table by his bed.

“For…?” You giggled as you set the ashtray down on his bare chest and laid down next to him.

“Taking me in, getting me a job… getting me to my brother. All of it. Everything you have done the past couple days. You didn’t need to.” He shrugged and wrapped his arm around your shoulder casually.

“So what, I was just supposed to let you walk through the desert alone? Or maybe just abandon you in Stanford or here in Charming? No way, darlin’. I’m not that kinda guy.” You laid your head down on his chest and smiled.

“Hey, I beat the shit out of that guy in the bar, I can handle my own.” Jax laughed as he blew smoke rings toward the flag above his bed.

“Yea I know you can but now you got me to help.” You hummed contently as the two of you fell into a comfortable silence; the only sounds filling the messy bedroom was your exhales and the occasional flick of your thumb to knock the ashes into the small glass bowl.

“I need you to understand something.” Jax said as he put out his cigarette and you hummed as you followed suit. He put the ashtray on the table next to him as you rolled onto your stomach to look at him. His blue eyes searched yours as he ran his fingers through your hair. “There is some shit I do with the club that I can’t tell you about. Club business. I just….” you shook your head and interrupted him.

“You don’t have to explain. I get it. But you have to know I am in the same sort of boat. The family business I got away from…? I can promise you it will come back around one day and I will need to help out every once in a blue moon and I can’t explain to you what that entails right now for your own protection.” The two of you looked at each other and Jax’s eyes narrowed slightly.

“You’re not a cop or a fed are you?” He asked and you laughed and shook your head.

“No. Not at all. I actually think I may be wanted for some stupid shit in Arkansas though. I’m not sure if Sam was able to hack in and wipe that out of the computer system though.”

“Well aren’t you just a little bad girl.” he teased as he wrapped his arms around you and turned on his side to face you. You smiled and threw your leg over his.

“Oh, you have no idea.”

—— 

You and Jax became nearly inseparable from that day on. If he wasn’t off doing club business, he was working in the garage with you or the two of you were tangled in sheets and limbs in bed. The two of you went down every other Thursday night to have dinner with Sam and Jess and they even joined you for Gemma’s family dinners a couple times. After a couple months of living in the clubhouse and a lot of convincing, he helped you build your own bike and taught you how to ride and on rare off weekends, Clay would ban anyone from the cabin so the two of you could spend the weekend alone. 

It took Gemma a little while to get used to you being around before she completely accepted you as Jax’s girlfriend. Once she realized he had fallen in love with you though, she became the mother you never had. Anytime Clay and Jax were on the road for a few days, she would insist you stay over at her house so you weren’t left alone. Everyone in the SAMCRO family welcomed you with open arms and loved how good you were for the future president.


	2. Chapter 2

~~~~~~~~~ LATE SEPTEMBER 2006 ~~~~~~~~ 

You were lying in bed with Jax almost a year to the day after you had first arrived, reading a book when someone knocked on the door.

“Hey Jax, you wanna get out here.” Juice called out and your boyfriend groaned.

“Swear we can never just have a minute alone on a Friday night.” he growled as he tossed the binder he was reading on the floor next to his table.

“We are going to the cabin next weekend, baby. Not too much longer.” He huffed as he grabbed his kutte and threw it and a pair of jeans on.

“It’s still so far away.” You giggled as he kneeled on the bed and gave you a chaste kiss.

“Well, get Clay to give us Thursday and Friday off and we can leave sooner.” He laughed as he stood up and opened the door.

“Yea, sure I’ll get right on that.” You smiled as he stepped out into the hall and you went back to your book. He was only gone a couple minutes before you suddenly heard Dean scream your name. Your stomach dropped as you catapulted from the bed and you sprinted out of your room toward the club.

“Jax stop!” You screamed as you rounded the corner. He had Dean pinned on the ground by the door and was screaming at him with his fist raised above his head. You could see blood on your brothers face and panic ripped through you. “Jackson let him go! Chibs, get him off him!” Chibs and Juice, two patched members of the MC took one look at you before they sprang into action and pulled Jax off Dean as you ran to your brother’s side.

“He was askin’ ‘bout you!” Jax shouted and you looked over at your boyfriend angrily.

“He can ask all he wants! He’s my brother!” You watched all the fight instantly leave his frame as he ripped his arms away from his brothers. You looked back at Dean who was visibly and understandably pissed.

“What the fuck?” He growled as you helped him up from the ground. You could see his eye was split just above his eyebrow and you scowled.

“Is the first aid kit still in the trunk?” You asked Dean. He nodded and you grabbed his arm and started to drag him toward the door.

“Baby, I…” Jax said and you turned around and looked at him.

“Just go get me a wet washcloth please. A bag of ice or something out of the freezer as well.” You snapped with as much forced calm as you could. He nodded and headed toward the kitchen as you lead Dean outside. The second you cleared the door, you rounded on your older brother. “The hell’s the matter with you? I told you last year… which was the last time you even bothered to acknowledge my existence, that you can’t just show up here!”

“Me? Your fucking boyfriend just beat the shit out of me for no reason!” You glared at him as he unlocked the trunk of the Impala.

“Did you bother to tell any one of them you were my brother or did you just walk in like I know you did and demand to talk to the girlfriend of the VP of a motorcycle club?” Dean glared back at you as he handed you the large first aid box from the trunk.

“Shut up. It shouldn’t be that hard to talk to my own sister.” You shook your head as you opened the box on the trunk as Jax brought out the washcloth and a couple bags of ice.

“It wouldn’t have been an issue if you had told them who you were, De.” You said as you started gently wiping the blood off his face. You shook your head at the two men. “Dean meet Jax, Jax meet my other brother, Dean.”

“Why didn’t you show him like a picture of me or something?” Dean asked with a hiss as Jax sat down on the curb. You glanced down at him and you could see he felt bad for what he had done but his eyes began to dart around the area in front of the club house.

“Because I don’t have pictures of you and dad. The only pictures I have of family are ones Sam and I have taken this past year. Jax what are you looking at?” You asked as you looked down at him once again. He looked up at you and then looked wordlessly at your bare legs and you suddenly remembered you were only wearing one of his old SAMCRO shirts. You rolled your eyes and turned back to your brother. “Valid point. Let’s move this party inside to our room. Don’t need Unser’s boys seeing this.”

“Or anyone else.” Jax mumbled as he stood up and grabbed the first aid kit. The three of you walked back through the club wordlessly and you couldn’t help but notice every member purposely looking away from Jax’s girl. You smirked to yourself as the three of you headed down the hall and into your room.

“So why are you here, Dean?” You asked as you gently pushed him toward the bathroom. He sat down on the toilet and looked up at you.

“Dad’s been gone a while and I can’t get a hold of him.” You rolled your eyes as you took the first aid kit from Jax, laid it on the ground and crouched down next to it.

“So what. He’s probably off in one of Bobby’s cabins with a liquor store to keep him company.” You found what you would need for stitches and as you went to thread the fishing line through the curved needle, Dean’s hand stopped you.

“Dad’s hunting and I can’t get a hold of him.” Your eyes shot up to meet your brother’s and the two of you sat in silence for a moment.

“How long?” You whispered as you sat down on the cold bathroom tile. Dean sighed and leaned forward to rest his arms on his knees. 

“Three weeks.”

“Was he going after…?” Dean shook his head and glanced up at Jax who was standing in the doorway. You looked up at him and then past him at the open bedroom door. “Baby, can you go close the bedroom door and bring me the whiskey from the desk.” Jax nodded and you looked back at your brother who was pulling something out of his pocket.

“I got this voicemail from him yesterday.” Dean said as he hit the play button on the side of the tape recorder. Your dad’s voice crackled through the small speaker. You listened to the hardly understandable message as Jax tapped you on the shoulder with the glass whiskey bottle. When it was finished you squinted at your brother questioningly.

“Is that EVP?” Dean nodded as he fast forwarded the tape.

“Slowed it down and ran it through a gold wave and got this.” He hit play and the speaker crackled for a moment before a creepy woman’s voice sent shivers up your spine.

‘I can never… go… home.’

“What the hell was that?” Jax asked and you shook your head at him as you took the tape player from Dean.

“That was under dad’s message?” You asked as you rewound the tape back to the original voicemail. Dean nodded as he took the whiskey bottle from your lap.

“Yep. So now I need you to patch up your boyfriend’s handy work so we can get on the road.” You looked up at Dean as your dad’s message finished playing again and shook your head.

“Oh no. I am not going hunting again. I got out. I have a job and Clay will…”

“Button, I need you. This thing is after men.”

“De! I can’t go! I have a job and I am needed…”

“(Y/N), dad is missing! Three weeks! I know how you feel about the guy but come on!” You groaned and looked back and forth between Jax and Dean trying to figure out what to do.

“Goddamnit.” You groaned as you dropped your face in your hand.

“Darlin’, I can cover with Clay and I can help you do that truck that got dropped off yesterday on Monday, you just gotta make sure you’re back by then.” Jax said as he crouched down next to you. “Remember what I said about family.” You looked over at him and sighed.

“Yea… I know. Fuck man, I got out of this shit for a reason.” You grumbled as you grabbed the fishing line from the first aid kit again. “One case, Dean. We get dad home and I am out.” Dean nodded behind the whiskey bottle and hissed the fumes away.

“One case. Promise.” You looked up at him and cocked an eyebrow.

“You don’t bring me home after one case and I’m calling Jax to come get me. I mean it.” Dean crossed his heart as he handed you the whiskey bottle and you kneeled in front of him. “Fuck, Sam is gunna kill me.” 

“Oh, we are going to get Sam next. We need him too.” You looked at Dean with the bitch face to end all and he shrugged. “Dad’s missing. It’s an all hands on deck situation.” You scowled as you began to stitch up your brother’s eye.

“Yea, Sam’s not gunna come. He has something Monday he can’t miss or be tired for.”

“Well we are just gunna have to make this fast then, aren’t we?” You glared at him as you tied off the two stitches.

“I hate you.” You mumbled as you started to clean up and Dean simply smiled.

“I know you do. Now pack a bag and meet me in the car. We gotta go.”

“Where are we even going?” You asked as you handed him the first aid kit. He gave you a half mouth smile.

“Jericho.” 

“Fitting.” Dean quickly kissed your forehead, nodded at Jax and headed out of your room. With a sigh, you turned around to look at your boyfriend. “So you remember how I told you that the family business would come back for me?” Jax chuckled as you walked into the room.

“So what, you guys are like ghost hunters or something?” He asked as you grabbed your old duffle from the side of the desk.

“You could say that. It’s complicated, baby.” He nodded as he sat on the bed and watched you start packing. After a moment, he huffed.

“So this is what it’s like to be on your side of me packing.” You laughed as you tossed clothes toward the bed.

“Fun, isn’t it? I’ll only be gone a couple days. With all three of us working this we should have it cracked in no time.” You grabbed a couple of Jax’s t-shirts from his drawer and added them to your bag and headed toward the bathroom to grab your toothbrush.

“I’ll tell Clay you had a family emergency with Sam. He’ll understand.” You smiled at him as you walked out of the bathroom and you came to a stop right in front of him.

“You’re too good to me, my love.” He smiled at you as you ran your hands through his hair.

“Sorry I beat up your brother.” You smiled and shrugged.

“Meh, it knocked him down a peg. His ego is the size of Russia anyways.” You teased as he grabbed the back of your thighs and pulled you toward him to straddle his lap.

“Well I am still sorry, babe.” You nodded as you gave him a chaste kiss. With a sigh, you rested your forehead against his. He looked up at you with a smile as he ran his calloused hands over the backs of your thighs. “So I was going to suggest this next weekend at the cabin but I don’t want to wait. I love you so damn much. I know you are already mine but I want to make it beyond official. When you get back, I want you to get my crow.” A smile spread across your face as you leaned back to look at him. 

“Really?” You whispered as you searched his eyes and he nodded.

“Really.” You nodded vigorously and crashed your lips to his as you wrapped your arms around his neck. After a few moments, he pulled away reluctantly and sighed. “Alright. You gotta get dressed and go save your dad.” With a huff, you leaned back and growled.

“Can’t I just stay in bed with you?” You teased as you forced yourself off his lap. He shook his head as you grabbed your jeans off the desk chair.

“I wish. Just remember we can stay in bed together next weekend.” You smiled up at him as you pulled your boots on.

“Sounds like heaven. Oh! You better tell mom before you tell anyone else that I’m getting your crow. You know she will be pissed if she doesn’t know first.” Jax laughed as you wiggled a bra on under his shirt and he nodded and got up to grab a shirt and his boots.

“I’ll head over to her house now. Talk to Clay about you not coming to work tomorrow, too. I’ll call Happy for Monday night?” You nodded as you grabbed your old hunting jacket from the closet and smiled.

“I never in a million years thought I would actually be excited for someone to call me their old lady.” He laughed as he stood in front of you and gently cupped your jaw in his hands.

“Never in a million years thought I would love someone enough to want to call them my old lady.” He leaned down and gave you a chaste kiss before brushing his thumb across your cheek. “Be safe, come home to me.” He said, repeating the same words you said to him every time he had to leave for a few days. You nodded and gave him one final kiss before the two of you pulled away to leave.

“I need money.” You said as you grabbed your bag and he snagged his wallet off the desk.

“Three hundred good?” He asked as he thumbed through some bills and you shrugged.

“Yea. I’ll be splitting a room with the boys so that should be way more that enough.” He nodded and handed you the cash and an extra burner phone and you grabbed your handgun from the box in the closet you kept it in. You knew it was still fully loaded, so you slipped it into the back of your jeans and pulled Jax’s shirt over it.

“I’ll call you when we get there.” You said as you kissed him on the cheek and he nodded and grabbed his keys.

“Love you.” You paused in the door and looked back at him with a smile.

“Love you, too baby.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

You sat in the interrogation room, glaring at the man in front of you as he thumbed through your dad’s journal. You had been silently sitting in the cold room, handcuffed to the table for nearly two hours and the cop was not giving up.

“We know the guy you are with is Dean Winchester. Just tell us your name, sweetheart.” The man said as he looked up from the book. He rested the back of his leg on the table and you continued to sit silent, staring straight forward and swearing up a storm in your head. You knew you would get a phone call sooner or later and you were beginning the debate of calling Gemma or Jax to bail you out when the man slammed the journal shut. “Fine. Don’t talk. You’re friend is just about to crack anyways.” You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling at the mans blatant lie as he stormed out of the room. You knew without a shadow of a doubt in your mind that the only thing Dean was doing was giving the cops lip.

“I knew I should have stayed home.” You thought to yourself over the next hour you were left alone as you drummed your fingers on your knee. “Shit… I hope Sam really did wipe my Arkansas thing.” Without warning the door burst open and Dean smiled at you.

“Well look at you being all lazy, we have a case to finish.” You glared at him as he handed you a paperclip and he sat on the table with dad’s journal in his hand.

“How did you get out?” You asked as you sprung the handcuffs and stood up. Dean smiled as he looked up at you.

“Sammy called in a fake call.” You smiled and shook your head as the two of you headed out of the police station.

“Good ol’ Sam. Hey do you know if he cleared our records from Arkansas?” You asked as Dean led you to the roof and he nodded.

“Yep. Arkansas and Virginia are both cleared.”

“Oh shit! I forgot about Virginia.” You said as you climbed down the ladder on the side of the building. As your feet hit the bottom, you looked around for anyone that could be paying attention as Dean dropped down next to you.

“How could you forget about Virginia?” He asked as the two of you headed off to find a phone to call Sam and you shrugged.

“We got picked up after a salt and burn, easy to forget. Arkansas on the other had was not so easy to forget and you and dad still owe me for that.”

“I told you I was sorry a hundred times.” You brushed him off as the two of you ran across the road and you chuckled.

“Yea well Jax splitting your eyebrow was payback for that so we are even.” Dean balked and shook his head.

“No! No way! And since we are on that topic, don’t think I am even remotely close to being OK with you dating him.” You shrugged as you came to a stop at a phone booth. With a sweet smile, you pat his cheek and shook your head.

“It’s a good thing you don’t have a say in who I date then.” He huffed as he stepped into the phone booth and called Sam. You took a minute to grab the burner phone you had hidden in your boot to check the couple texts you had gotten while you were in custody as you listened to what Dean was able to figure out in the sheriff station.

Gemma -I am so excited about tomorrow night! Is everything going OK with Sam? How’s Jess? 

Jax -Just checking in. Hope you’re having luck with your dad.

Jax -Happy just asked where you wanted the crow so he can draw it up tonight.

Jax -Hey… where are you, babe? I’m starting to worry.

“Dad’s not in Jericho.” Dean said. You ripped your eyes away from your phone to stare back at him as he told Sam about the coordinates. You rolled your eyes and bit your tongue as you sent a message to Jax.

-Hey baby. Sorry I disappeared- managed to get myself detained but I’m out. Dad’s not in Jericho so Dean’ll bring me home when we close this case. Sam is just about done with it. I should be home late tonight.Tell Happy across the front of my left shoulder by my collarbone. Love you!

You hit send at the same time Dean hung up the phone in a panic.

“We gotta go, now. Woman in white and she has Sam.” The two of you took off running toward the street to find a car.

“Where is she?” You asked as the two of you split up and started checking door handles.

“She’s buried behind her house. Here!” He said as he ripped open the door and you ran over to the car and got in.

“Hurry De.” You rushed as he hot-wired the car. It took him a hand full of tries before the car started. Your phone rang in your hand. You looked down and groaned as Dean pulled away from the curb. You did your best to keep the panic from your voice as you picked up Jax’s call. “Hey baby.”

“You have been gone less than 48 hours. What the fuck did you get arrested for?” He yelled. You glanced over at Dean who snorted with laughter and sighed.

“Technically I wasn’t arrested, I was…”

“I don’t want to hear technically, (Y/N). I want to know why my girlfriend was in handcuffs.” You took a deep breath and closed your eyes.

“Impersonating a U.S. Marshal and credit card fraud.”

“And a couple counts of murder.” Dean chipped in and you whipped around to glare at him as Jax growled in your ear.

“You have got to be kidding me.” Jax said and you shrugged.

“Well I got out of it and they didn’t even know my name so it’s fine, baby.” 

“Finish whatever this shit is and get home tonight. You and I are gunna have a long talk about this family business of yours.” You opened your mouth to protest but Jax had already hung up the phone. Dean laughed as he raced down the highway and you looked at him.

“Shut up, Dean. This is your fault.” He looked over at you and shook his head.

“No way, Button. You could have stayed in the room with Sam.” You punched his shoulder and flopped back against the seat.

“This is why I got out. Let’s just get this shit done; I want to go home.” Dean glanced over at you.

“(Y/N), you are dating a guy in a biker gang. You are bound to have a run in with the cops there too.”

“That’s not the point, Dean. I never wanted to chase monsters. I left so I wouldn’t have to explain to the man I love that the reason I was arrested in Virginia was for grand theft auto and grave desecrations. And Arkansas where I was arrested for federal impersonation of an officer, kidnapping, bring a child that wasn’t mine over state lines, filing a false police report and grand theft auto because you and dad made me take that kid to his dad’s when his mom was bit by that werewolf. 

I don’t want to have to be in a situation like today where I had to sit in an interrogation room for hours and have the mental debate on whether I needed to call Jax or Gemma to bail my ass out of jail on murder charges and then have to explain to them that I am not a murderer, I just kill things that no one believes exist for a living.”

“Yea, well we are Winchesters and that’s what we have to do. And those cases were all dropped and wiped from the system years ago.” You shook your head as Dean drove around the last bend to the old house.

“I’m half a Winchester, Dean and after tonight, I am out for good.” He looked over at you as he slid the car to a stop and the two of you jumped out of the stolen car to rescue Sam.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

The ride back to Charming was nearly silent after you caught Sam up on what happened and he figured out where John was. He told Dean that he, too was still out and Dean had been fuming the entire ride. As he pulled down the poorly lit the street to the SAMCRO compound, you could see Jax standing in the middle of the road, waiting. 

“Call me after your interview, Sam.” You said as you grabbed the straps to your duffle. Sam kissed your cheek as you gave him a one armed hug over the seat. You paused and looked at Dean. “Dean, I love you but…”

“Yea. Don’t worry, I got it.” He snapped. With a sigh, you got out of the car and headed toward Jax. “Hey Button.” Dean called out and you turned around and looked at him over the hood of Baby. “Thanks for your help. I’m sorry.” You gave him a weak smile and nodded.

“I know De. Don’t be such a stranger anymore.” He nodded and gave you a half wave before getting back in the Impala and taking off down the street. You heard Jax sigh as he took your duffle and he pulled you into his chest.

“I can’t let you out of my sight for nothin’, can I babe?” he asked with a small laugh and you smiled as you wrapped your arms around his waist.

“Apparently, if left to my own devices I get arrested, so no.” He kissed your forehead and moved to your side. You smiled and leaned against him as the two of you headed into the club house. You said quick hello’s to the couple people that were still hanging out on a Sunday night before you headed to your room. The door had barely closed behind you before Jax sighed.

“Alright. What can you tell me?” You ran your hand through your hair as you toed your boots off and sighed.

“You’re gunna wanna sit down for this and I need you to listen with an open mind because what I’m about to tell you is going to seem like an absolute lie.” Jax nodded as he lit two cigarettes and the two of you sat down on the bed. You took a long drag to figure out where to start and with another sigh, you started from Mary and told him everything.

Jax didn’t say a single word the entire time you spoke but you shared everything. Every case you could think of, every arrest you had had. You spared no details. Just as you were finishing up, your phone rang. You ignored the first call but when it rang once more, you dug through your bag to find it. You only glanced at the screen for a moment before you answered Dean’s call.

“De, not a good ti…”

“Are you and Jax OK?” Dean shouted over you and you frowned.

“Yea, we’re still talking, why?”

“Whatever got mom, got Jess.” Your stomach dropped as you looked up at the man you loved. He mouthed ‘what’ and you held up a finger as you put the phone on speaker.

“Where are you? Where’s Sam? Is he…?”

“Sam’s… well I got Sam out of the house but he’s not doing good, (Y/N).” You felt tears sting the back of your eyes and you shook your head at the idea that you had just lost someone that had become a best friend.

“Dean, are you sure it’s the same thing?”

“Positive. I saw her on the ceiling, just like my mom was, before the apartment went up in flames.” You let out a choked sob and shook your head and Jax pulled you into his chest. “Look, salt the windows and doors, Sam and I are on our way back to you.”

“You can crash here for the night. The club has a couple empty rooms.” Jax offered.

“Didn’t realize I was on speaker but thanks man. Look, I don’t know what my sister has told you so far but whatever she tells you to do tonight, listen to her. We have been doing this our whole lives and she can save yours.” Dean said and you heard the door to the Impala slam in the background. “We are headed to you now.”

“De, drive safe and take care of Sammy.” You said. Dean hummed in response and hung up the phone without another word. It took you a moment to think before you scooted out of Jax’s safe embrace. “Well… welcome to the family. I hope you believed some of what I said.” Jax nodded as he brushed your tears away.

“It’s a little crazy but from the stories you just told me… they are too detailed to be just made up. I have some doubts but I believe you.” You nodded as he gave you a chaste kiss. You sat back a moment later and sighed. 

“Alright, we need salt, a tire iron or two and a jug of water. I have a rosary in my dresser somewhere… Holy water.” You said, answering his questioning look. He nodded slowly as you got off the bed, a small river of tears still silently streaming down your cheeks. 

You quickly gathered everything you would need to make your room safe from the spirit that had killed two people close to the Winchester family and you waited. As you waited, you laid in Jax’s arms; mourning Jess’ death before Sam arrived. Just before 2 am, Dean called and said they were outside. You pocketed your gun and headed out into the club to get your brothers. As you stepped outside, you took one look at Sam as he collected a few weapons from the trunk and your heart broke all over again. 

You could see he was angry; mentally embarking on a warpath to avenge the woman he loved. But as he looked up at you, his hazel eyes showed you the true heartbreak and devastation he was feeling.

“Let me help.” You said softly as you took one of the guns from his arms. He froze as you touched his arm and the moment he looked at you, the dam broke.

“Jess…” He whispered as his tears began to fall. You tossed the gun you had back into the Impala and wrapped your brother in a hug. 

“I know, Sammy. I know.”

“I should have protected her.” He choked as he pulled away and you shook your head as the Dean came around the back of the car and started grabbing the things he needed.

“Sam, there was nothing you could do.” He shrugged as he handed you a shot gun and you felt Jax put his hand on your hip.

“We gotta get this shit inside fast. If Clay or Unser find out about this it will be my head.” You nodded as Sam and Dean grabbed the last couple things and the four of you quickly darted into the empty clubhouse to Jax’s room. As the four of you headed into your room, you locked the door and toed the salt line back in place as Sam pulled out a map and dad’s journal and laid them out on your bed.

“So we know by the coordinates dad left that he is probably in Colorado.” Sam started as he sat on the floor by the bed and flipped through the leather bound book. You shook your head as Jax lit you a cigarette.

“Sammy, give it a night. You can start fresh…”

“No, (Y/N)!” he snapped. “Jess is dead and I’m gunna find dad and find this thing and end this.”

“Sam, we don’t even know if dad is really in Colorado.” Dean said as he flopped down in the desk chair. He glanced at you as you took a drag of your smoke and cocked his eyebrow. “And if we did know, he would kill you if he found you smoking again.” You rolled your eyes and sat down in the middle of your bed.

“Go parent someone else, bro; I’m a big girl. But he’s right Sam. You don’t know that dad is even in Colorado.”

“Yea, well we leave first thing in the morning.” Sam said as he folded up the map. He reached out and grabbed your cigarette and took a drag before handing it back to you and Dean groaned.

“Man, not you too.” You and Jax laughed as he sat down on the bed next to you.

“Well count me out. I got work in the morning and unbreakable plans tomorrow night. What about your interview, Sam?”

“Screw my interview. My future went up in flames tonight so I’m gunna focus on stopping this thing.”

“What’s so important tomorrow night you can’t come with us and help?” Dean asked. You rolled your eyes as you took another drag of your cigarette.

“None of your fucking business, that’s what. I told you I am not hunting anymore. This whole night just goes to show that all we are doing is putting a bigger target on our backs than the Winchester name already has given us. Whatever IT is attacked Sam because dad must be pissing it off where ever the hell he is and I am not putting myself or the man I love in danger to avenge Jess. I’m going to do what normal people do and mourn our loss.”

“(Y/N), you can’t be serious.” Dean said and Sam looked at you stunned.

“She was your best friend!” He shouted and you nodded as you exhaled smoke toward the flag above you.

“I know she was but I didn’t want that life. I was forced into it just because my mom was a piece of shit who got knocked up by John Winchester. I have always felt like the outsider and you both know that. I could have lived a normal, happy life but instead, I got dropped off with dad, got raised by my two brothers and Bobby and when I was a child and told you I was scared of the boogyman, I should have been comforted not traumatized with the truth. I was raised to hunt monsters instead of learning about make-up and clothing like most girls.”

“We did the best we could!” Dean said and you nodded.

“I’m not saying you didn’t Dean. What I am saying is that I am out; O.U.T. out of that life. I have people I care about here in Charming, a man I love with all of my heart and woman who is the mother I have never had. I have a great job, and the same roof over my head every night and the white picket fence apple pie life I always dreamed about. I am not throwing that away nor am I doing anything to further jeopardize it because I may be a Winchester by blood but I don’t think that I will be a Winchester by name very much longer after tomorrow.” The second the words left your lips, you flushed red and slapped your hand over your mouth. Sam and Dean both looked at you shocked as you turned back and looked at Jax’s smiling face.

“Hey, you said it, not me.” He said and you couldn’t help but smile as you reached across him to put your cigarette out in the ashtray.

“Are you getting married tomorrow?” Sam asked. You sighed as you turned back around and leaned back against the wall.

“No. I’m… well… I’m getting his crow.” Your brothers looked at each other confused as Jax put his arm around your waist and pulled you to his side.

“What the fuck does that mean.” Dean demanded as he sat up a little straighter. You put your hand on Jax’s knee and tilted your head to the side.

“Basically… I’m getting a tattoo of a crow. Pre-engagement, engagement kinda thing.”

“Over my dead body!” Dean roared as he lurched up from the chair. You tightened your hand around Jax’s knee to keep him sitting as you pointed at your older brother.

“Sit your ass down, Dean. Do not cause a scene in my home, do you understand me?”

“(Y/N), he’s branding you!” He said as he sat back down in the chair and you gave him a half mouth smirk as Jax’s words flooded your mind.

“They aren’t barbarians, Dean. It’s a tattoo not a brand and I am CHOOSING to get it.” 

“Dad is going to have a field day.” Sam said. You turned to look at your other brother and shrugged.

“Well I guess it is a good thing for me that dad is missing then. If he were here, he could throw in his two cents but he isn’t. And he told me that if I left to not come back so there’s another thing to solidify my decision to not go hunting anymore.”

“Does family mean nothing to you?” Dean asked. You looked up at him as tears you weren’t expecting stung the back of your eyes.

“How dare you. Family means everything to me but family doesn’t put each other in danger on purpose. And you seem to have forgotten the fact that you and dad turned your backs on me for the whole last year, Dean so you tell me what fucking family means to you. Cause from where I’m sittin’, my family is a bunch of biker mechanics and Sam.” No one said a word for a couple minutes as tears silently fell down your cheeks. You heard someone cough faintly in another room down the hall and you forced yourself to look away from your oldest brother to glance at the clock. You internally groaned at the unbelievably late hour and you looked back at Dean.

“Look, we have all had a really, really long day but I have to rip apart a truck in three hours to replace an engine and a transmission and I need sleep for all that. There is a room across the hall that is empty so you two can sleep for a couple hours. Just come find me in the shop before you leave. Night boys.” Without another word, you got up and walked past Sam into the bathroom to take a quick shower. As you stepped under the hot water, Jax joined you with a sad smile.

“You OK, babe?” He asked as he got into the shower. You shrugged and leaned against his chest.

“Part of me feels like a bad person for not going with them but the other part…”

“Just told them to fuck off.” He finished with a chuckle. He kissed your forehead and wrapped his arms around you. “Babe, you said it yourself. Dean and your dad turned their back on you when you made the choice to walk away to better yourself and your life. You are doing what is best for you. You can’t let them dictate what is best for you anymore.”

“I know…” you sighed as you looked up at the love of your life. “the situation still sucks though.” He nodded and shrugged.

“And I wish there was something I could do to make it better.” You smiled at him as you moved your arms around his neck.

“Give me a kiss and take me to bed.” He smiled and effortlessly lifted you off the floor before turning off the water.

“That I can do.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Lowell, kick me that pan over there.” You called from under the old Chevy you were laying under. You heard the metal tin scrape across the ground followed by a voice you weren’t expecting.

“Didn’t I teach you to keep everything within reach when your under a car?” Dean asked. You smiled as you began to drain the coolant from the engine.

“Yea, well guess you gotta tell me again. Maybe it will stick this time.” You slid out from under the truck and Dean reached out his hand to help you up. He glanced at the truck you were working on, sighed and looked back at you.

“I get why you’re staying here.” He said as you wiped your hands off on a bandana you had hanging from your pocket. “I don’t like it and I don’t agree with the little things but I am proud of you for this, Button.” He gestured to the truck and gave you a weak smile.

“I need this, Dean. I’m not cut from the same cloth you and Sam were when it comes to that shit. It was never my fight.”

“I know, Button. Still don’t like it but I know.” You smiled and bumped him with your shoulder as you looked out of the garage for Sam.

“You’re gunna take care of him, right?” You asked as you looked back at your brother and he nodded.

“Best as I can. It’s not going to be easy but I know dad is sending us to Colorado for a reason.”

“Just let me know when you find him, OK?” you requested. Dean looked at you sarcastically and rolled his eyes.

“No, I’m just going to leave you in the dark.” You shook your head as he pulled you in for a hug. After a moment, you pulled back and looked at him.

“Look, if you find this thing and you really need help, let me know. I’ll talk Jax into tagging along to teach more about our family business.”

“Ha! I’d pay to see that happen.” Dean teased as Sam headed into the garage.

“Pay to see what?” he asked

“You dressed in drag.” Dean quipped.

“Dad belly dancing.” you said at the same time. The three of you laughed as Sam gave you a quick hug.

“Take care of yourself, (Y/N).” Sam said as he stepped back. “And thanks for putting us up last night.”

“And putting up with our shit.” Dean said and you swiped your hand at them.

“Hey, that’s what little sisters are for. You two take care of each other and find dad. Now, I gotta get back to work because this engine isn’t gunna remove itself.” You said bye to your brothers and paused just long enough to watch them walk across the lot. With a heavy sigh you grabbed your socket wrench, laid back down on your creeper and got back to work.

—— 

“Hey darlin’, you almost done?” Jax called out as he strolled into the shop. You jumped at the sudden noise and managed to knock the transmission lift and it shifted the entire thing an inch away from where you needed it.

“Goddamn it, Jackson!” You shouted from under the truck as you tried to shove the lift back in place. “Push this back toward me an inch or so.” You waited only half a second before the transmission shifted back into place. “Why do you always do that?” You called out as you started to tighten the torque converter bolts. You saw a flash of blond appear beside you and you glanced over to your boyfriend.

“It’s fun to watch you get all feisty.” You rolled your eyes and looked back up at the truck with a small shake of your head.

“You’re an ass.” You grumbled.

“Yes, but I’m your ass. You need a hand baby girl?” You nodded as you tightened the mounting bolts and Jax jumped up to help. With the two of you working together like a well oiled machine, the job that would have taken you over an hour to finish alone, took you only 25 minutes and before you knew it, you had the truck idling right outside of the garage just as the sun was setting.

“I don’t think I have ever redone a car so fast in my life.” You bragged as you smoked a cigarette and checked under the car for any leaks. Jax laughed as he leaned against the shop wall.

“I don’t think anyone at the shop has. Shit, I don’t even think I could get a turnover done that fast.” You shrugged as you went around and turned off the truck and shrugged.

“No one will ever be…”

“You get that truck done already?” Clay called out as he walked out of the office. You looked over at him and nodded.

“Yes sir. I’m gunna wait until tomorrow to take it around the block and check it.” He paused, pursed his lips and shook his head.

“I’ll have Lowell do it. I got something else in mind for you.” Without another word, he walked off toward the clubhouse. You turned around and looked at Jax.

“Should I be worried?” You asked and he slowly shook his head.

“Nooo… but I will try to find out what it is. Come on, though- can’t be late to your own crow party.” You smiled as he took your hand and headed toward the clubhouse.


	3. Chapter 3

You were washing the shampoo out of your hair when you heard Gemma call your name from your room.

“In here!” You called out as you grabbed your conditioner. The bathroom door swung open and the sound of her heels clacked across the tile.

“I brought you two different color tube tops.” She said as you poked your head out of the shower curtain. She gave you a quick kiss before sitting down on the toilet. “Now, I know you wear a lot of black so I brought a black one but I have a peach one that I know will make your eyes just pop.” You smiled as you grabbed your body wash and poured some on your hand.

“Mom, if I wear the peach one it’s going to get blood and tattoo ink on it and it will be ruined.” She hummed and tapped her foot.

“Fair point. So wear the black one. The ink won’t show on that one. Are you wearing jeans again or could I convince…”

“Mom, will you let my old lady shower in peace?” Jax interrupted and you smiled as you washed out your conditioner.

“Oh alright. I’m just so happy for you two.” You heard her heels cross the tile floor again and you looked out of the shower at your boyfriend. 

“I like the sound of that.” He chuckled as he walked over to you.

“Like the sound of that?” He cooed and you nodded as he gave you a kiss. You gently grabbed his chin and smirked at him.

“You know this makes you my old man, right.” He rolled his eyes as you giggled and gave him a chaste kiss before ducking back behind the curtain to finish rinsing off. You got out of the shower and quickly wrapped your towel around you as you headed over to your dresser.

“You ready to get branded?” Jax teased as he pulled on a clean shirt. You smiled and looked over at him.

“Is it going on my forehead?” You joked and he laughed and nodded.

“I’m doing it too.” You shook your head as you pulled on your jeans and Gemma’s shirt.

“I will let you give me a tattoo as long as I can give you one too.”

“Absolutely not! I’d end up with like a flower on my chest or some shit.” You glared at him as you brushed your hair.

“It wouldn’t be a flower, baby. It would be a mother fucking unicorn shittin’ a rainbow on your arm.” You threw your long wet hair up into a messy bun as Jax put on his kutte over a blue flannel shirt.

“Then I’d give you a giant middle finger on your back.” You pointed on him as you slipped on some flip flops.

“This is why you will never tattoo me.” He shrugged as he walked over and opened the door.

“Maybe I’ll just do it in your sleep.” You grabbed his hand and squeezed it as you headed toward the club.

“You even think about it Jax and I will kill you.” As you walked into the room, you were a little surprised by the amount of people that had showed up and even more surprised when they started cheering. Jax stopped and pulled you into his chest with a giant grin. For show, he spun you to the side and dipped you as he gave you a kiss and you smiled against his lips. He stood you up right and brushed his thumb across your cheek as he searched your eyes.

“I love you, (Y/N).” He said softly.

“I love you, too, Jax. Always will.” He gave you a chaste kiss before he reached down and took your hand.

“Come on. Let’s let the professional ink you up.” As you headed over toward the spot Happy had set his stuff up, your stomach suddenly clenched with nervousness. You could almost hear your brothers and your dad’s voices in your head yelling at you and telling you how stupid you were being. Almost as if he could read your mind, Jax stopped short and looked back at you. He pulled you to him and cupped your cheeks in his hands. “Listen, if you don’t want to…” You shook your head and smiled.

“First tattoo, babe. Little nerve wracking one way or another. I want this.” He held you in place for a few seconds before he nodded and smiled.

“It’s easy. I’ll be right there the whole time. Besides, I already have a question for you to distract you when he starts.” You cocked your eyebrow as he gave you a chaste kiss and before you could ask what the question was, you found yourself at Happy’s side. He gave you a quick hug before he showed you the crow design. It was identical to the one Gemma had.

“Umm… can I actually make one tiny request?” Both men looked up at you as you blushed as you pointed at the sketch. “Would it be possible to have Jax write out the word ‘forever’ and add his name at the bottom?” You looked up at him and gave a small shrug. “Makes it a personal for us.”

“I have no issue with that whatsoever.” Happy said as he grabbed a new sheet of sketch paper and a pencil from his bag.

“You’re too cute, do you know that babe?” Jax asked. You smiled as he kissed your forehead and he sat you down on the chair. 

“Make sure you spell it right.” You teased as he took the pencil from Happy.

“Got it. F-U-C-K-Y-O-U.” He said as he wrote. You rolled your eyes and he laughed as he wrote his name. You showed Happy exactly where you wanted the tattoo while Jax went over and got himself a beer from the bar.

“So what is this question you have for me?” You asked as he grabbed a chair and pulled it to your side. He took your hand in his as Happy laid down the stencil against your skin.

“Well, I’ve heard Dean call you ‘Button’ like a dozen times. So, what’s the story behind the nickname?” You huffed a laugh as Jax glanced at the tattoo stencil and with a small nod, you heard the tattoo machine buzz to life. With a smile of encouragement, he squeezed your hand and you forced yourself to focus only on the blue eyes in front of you and your story as Happy got started.

“Well… when my mom dropped me off with my dad, she left me with this ugly brown teddy bear. Other than baby essentials, my birth certificate and my social security card, it was the only thing she gave him. That bear became my security blanket of sorts. When I was like 3 or 4 maybe, one of the eyes fell off when I was sleeping and when I woke up and saw my bear was ruined, I cried for hours. Dad had left us in a motel once again with Dean in charge and he didn’t know what to do. So, he ripped off one of the buttons of his shirt, borrowed some superglue from the front desk because he didn’t know how to sew, and he gave the bear a button eye. For some reason after that, the only part of the teddy bear that mattered to me was that button. Over time, the bear fell apart and I got rid of it but I kept the button; still have it sewed into the sleeve of my hunting jacket at the wrist. Dean started calling me ‘Button’ a few months after he fixed the bear and the nickname stuck.”

“That is freaking adorable.” Jax said.

“Shut up.” You said behind a yawn. He kissed your knuckles and chuckled.

“How come you don’t really talk about him?”

“About Dean? Well, Dean and I are 5 and a half years apart in age where as Sam and I are only a year and a half. We had to move a lot, so we never really had the chance to make friends. That combination made Sam my best friend almost by default. Dean and I didn’t really get that close like he and Sam did and I think it had something to do with the fact that I was a girl and the fact that I was only his half sister. See, he knew Mary; had four years with her as his mom before she died. So when I got dropped off a year after that by a different mother than his and he had to call me his sister? To a five year old, that’s kinda like a slap in the face to his mother’s memory.”

“So then what happened to your relationship with him when Sam went to Stanford?”

“It was complicated. My dad and Sam used to fight like cats and dogs because they have very similar personalities… but don't ever tell Sam I said that. Dean used to get in the middle and stop their fights and I typically stayed out of it. As we all got older, my dad started letting the boys take smaller jobs together but he started focusing more on what I was doing. He got a little over-protective and controlling when it came to me and cases he had and I spent a lot of time left behind to do research. 

Of course, I wanted to be with my brothers that I knew better than I knew my own father so when I was forced to stay behind, it would start a fight. Then Sam would step in to protect me, Dean would step in to protect him… vicious circle. So when Sam took off for Stanford because he couldn’t take my dad’s shit anymore, dad spent a lot more time nit-picking what I was doing and Dean, went back and forth. Sometimes he would side with dad and make the situation worse, sometimes he would stay out of it completely and sometimes he would step in and defend me like he did Sam. Don’t get me wrong, I know Dean loves me but I always knew that it was a different kind of ‘sibling love’ then the kind he felt for Sam. I don’t blame him for it… that’s just Dean.”

“Sounds like one hell of a family circus.”

“It was; that’s why I left. Dean and my dad are nearly one in the same when it comes to work; they hear about a job, they go out, they take care of it, they move on to the next, repeat. After Sam left, dad deemed it time for Dean to start working on his own. Me being there and fighting with my dad just made Dean’s life more stressful and I didn’t want to do that to him or keep fighting with my dad and like I said, it was never my fight, anyways. So I walked away… and found you instead.” Jax smiled as he absentmindedly played with your fingers.

“Thank God for little miracles on that one.” You hummed in agreement as you rested your head against the back of the chair. It only took a minute for your mind to realize just how tired you were from less than three hours of sleep and a long day at work before you drifted off. What seemed like only seconds later, you were woken by a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“I don’t think I have ever seen someone fall asleep for a chest tattoo before.” You heard Happy say.

“I’m not sleeping, I’m just resting my eyes.” You grumbled. Jax laughed as you forced your eyes open.

“Babe, you have been sleeping for two hours.”

“I have not.” You falsely claimed as Happy handed you a mirror. “I heard everything you said.”

“Oh, yea? What were we just talking about?” Jax asked as you held the mirror out in front of you. A huge smile spread across your face as you looked at your crow.

“How amazing this tattoo looks and how Happy has never seen someone fall asleep for a chest tattoo.” Jax chuckled and gave you a kiss.

“I knew I should have written ‘smart ass’ after my name.” 

“Move your face; mom didn’t make glass when she made you and I’m not done lookin’.” You sassed as you gave him a quick kiss before leaning around him to see. He stepped back and took a look himself with a smile on his face.

“Looks good, darlin’. You did a good job, Hap.” You looked up at your tattoo artist and nodded.

“Thank you. I love it.”

“It’s truly an honor.” You handed him his mirror and gave him a quick hug before you got up and wrapped your arms around Jax’s neck with a smile. 

“Now the whole world knows I am all yours, baby.” He hummed and leaned down to kiss you as the sound of heels approached quickly.

“Alright, enough of that. I want to see my future daughter’s crow!” Gemma demanded. Jax smiled and rolled his head to the side.

“Mom, can I have a second with my old lady?”

“No.” Gemma said as she put her fists on her hips. “You can have her back after I see.” You laughed and turned in his arms so she could see. She tilted her head to the side as she lightly ran her fingertips just under her son’s name across your chest. “That’s your handwriting?” She asked and he nodded.

“Her idea. Gives it a personal touch for us.” She nodded and winked at you.

“Way to own it, honey.” As she walked away, you looked up at Jax.

“Cigarette and a beer?” He nodded and walked you over to the bar with his arms still around your waist.

“Hey… can we get my old lady a beer?” He called out to the bartender and was met with a collective shouted cheer from the room. You laughed and grabbed a barstool as Jax lit a cigarette for you. 

“They are going to do that every time you say that tonight, aren’t they?” He nodded as he handed you your cigarette.

“It’s a big deal. It’s like the equivalent of an engagement party. Celebration all around.”

“Well I don’t mind celebrating being in love with you one bit.” He smirked down at you as he handed you a beer.

“Good because I don’t either.” Over the next few hours, nearly everyone had come over to look at your tattoo and congratulate the two of you. As the party started to thin out, Clay finally made his way over to you.

“Congratulations you guys. Crow looks good on you, (Y/N).”

“Thanks Clay.” He raised his beer and motioned to the two of you.

“I wanna see both of you in the office tomorrow morning.” Like he always did, he turned around and walked away. You looked over at Jax.

“I kinda feel like we should be worried.” He shrugged and draped his arm around your waist.

“Don’t be. He wants us both in there; probably just to privately congratulate us.” You nodded as you tried to stifle a yawn. “Tired baby?” You laughed and nodded.

“I feel asleep while I was getting a tattoo; what do you think?”

“I think, it’s bed time for me and the old lady.” Jax said loudly on purpose. You shook your head at him as the whole room cheered once more. You hopped off the stool and finished your beer.

“You’re such a dork.” You teased. Without warning, Jax bent down, put his shoulder into your stomach and lifted you off the ground. You fought to hold back your squeal as the few people around you laughed.

“Yea, well you’re stuck with me.” He said as he carted you through the room. He paused just long enough so the two of you could say good night to Gemma before he carried you, giggling to your room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Maybe he’s giving us the rest of the week off to go to the cabin early.” Jax suggested as he carried you on his back across the parking lot toward the garage. The two of you had been guessing all morning on what Clay had in store for you.

“Yea right. I still vote pay raise.” Jax shook his head as he set you down in front of the office door.

“Time to find out.” He rapped his knuckles on the door twice before swinging it open. You made it two steps into the door before you froze. Frozen on the CCTV monitor was you, Jax, Sam and Dean standing around the open trunk of the Impala with every gun Dean owned on display.

“Didn’t think I’d find out about it?” Clay asked. You couldn’t take your eyes off the heartbroken look on Sam’s face as you took a half step back.

“Clay, this is my fault. I told them…” Jax started and you shook your head and took ahold of his arm and looked at Clay.

“No, this is on me. Sam’s house burned down this weekend and Jess was inside when it happened. That’s where I was this weekend; trying to help out where I could…”

“Jess was inside?!” Gemma gasped. You nodded as a couple tears slipped from your eyes. “Oh honey.” She said as she jumped up from her chair to wrap you in her arms. “Do they know who did it?”

“They have an idea. (Y/N)’s brothers were on their way to Colorado to follow a lead. I told them since Sam had lost everything he had in the fire they could stay for a few hours to rest since they are now family.” Gemma kissed the top of your head and pulled back to look at you.

“I am so sorry, honey.”

“As am I. Jess was a good girl; but that is not why I’ve called the two of you in here.” Clay said. Gemma sat back down in her chair as he pointed to the Impala’s trunk. “The false bottom; who did that?” He inquired as he looked over at you. Your brow furrowed as you wiped your tears away and sniffed.

“Umm… an old family friend designed it for my dad, originally but Dean went back when he got the car and reenforced it.” Clay nodded as he pointed at the chair across the desk. You quickly sat down on Jax’s knee as Gemma handed you a cigarette.

“Becoming the old lady of the VP of the club comes with its perks. You are now privy to a little more detail of what goes on behind closed doors at church. And this…” he said as he gestured to the car “could not have come at a better time for us. We have a shipment of guns coming in Sunday morning. I need something like this to get them to the warehouse.” You nodded slowly as you looked up at the TV screen.

“Do you have cars already that I can use? And what kinda weight are you talkin’?” You asked as you offered Jax your smoke.

“No to the cars and this shipment is little over four dozen unassembled .223 cal Bushmaster AR-15’s.” You whistled in shock at the idea and nodded your head.

“You need two cars for that kinda weight. Put all that in one and you’re driving dead. You need them done by Saturday at the latest.” You said, thinking out loud and Clay nodded. You shrugged. “Well, since you don’t have cars already, that same old family friend who made that box owns a scrap yard and auto shop in South Dakota. Cash only and it’s far enough away that they couldn't be traced between you and him. He’d help me out; guy is like a second father to me.”

“Take Juice with you with the flat bed and get on the road.” Jax nodded and pat your thigh and you hopped up. After quick goodbyes to Gemma, the two of you left the office and headed for the dorms.

“So much for the cabin this weekend.” Jax said. You blanched and looked over at him.

“Cabin…? Baby, what the hell just happened?” You asked with a laugh. He smirked and looked at you as he held the club door open for you.

“Perks of being my old lady.” You heard someone give a weak, half drunken cheer and you laughed as you headed for your room.

“Yea, well if my dad finds out about this he’s gunna kill me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Well I’ll be damned. If it isn’t my sweet little, (Y/N).” Bobby said as you stood on his porch late the next afternoon. You tilted your head and smiled at him as you shoved your hands in your back pockets; suddenly grateful that it was cold enough in South Dakota in October to be able to wear a hoodie to cover your ink.

“Hey, Bobby… sorry for just showing up. I would have called but I couldn’t get ahold of Dean to get your new numbers.”

“You never have to call to come here. Fact, I wish you and your idjit brothers would come around more often.” He held open the screen door for you and you smiled as you and Jax headed inside. “So to what do I owe the visit?” He asked as you headed into the living room. You sighed contently as you looked around the very familiar house.

“New job. I got out little over a year ago and got a job at a shop in Charming, California. Fell in love with this fool here.” You said as you gestured to Jax. “Bobby, I’d like you to meet Jax Teller. Babe, this is Bobby Singer; the man who taught my dad how to hunt, our occasional babysitter growin’ up, and my other dad.” The two men shook hands before the three of you sat down. You bit back a smile as Bobby’s eyes darted over the patches on the front of Jax’s kutte. After a moment, he looked back over at you.

“I heard from John you just up and ran away.” Bobby said as his brow furrowed. You leaned forward and shook your head.

“Bobby, you knew as well as I did I wasn’t cut out for this shit. I am nothing like dad and the boys. I had an out and I took it. Did I go about it poorly? Yea, maybe but I did what I needed to and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I could have made for myself.” The older man nodded slowly as he pursed his lips.

“He hasn’t talked to you since, has he?” You shook your head.

“Dean didn’t until Friday either. Dad won’t talk to me or Sammy anymore and now we can’t find him. Dean and him hunted together for a while but he took a woman in white case in Jericho a few weeks back that the three of us had to finish and he’s been gone ever since. His phone is shut off and everything.”

“He’s chasin’ the thing that got Mary…”

“The one that got Sam’s girlfriend same way.” You said over him and Bobby blanched.

“Balls. How’s Sam?” You shook your head slowly as Jax put his hand on your lower back.

“Not good. He’s on a war path; dropped out and blew off an interview for law school. I haven’t heard from him yet today but I know dad sent them to Colorado for a case.” You watched Bobby’s eyes dart almost questioningly toward Jax and you put a hand on his knee. “He knows. He got the whole life story the other night. I trust him.”

“My guess is it’s a wendigo.” He said as he got up and headed into the kitchen. Your brow furrowed.

“A wendigo this far west?” He nodded as he brought back three beers. “That’s unheard of.” Bobby shrugged as he flopped back down in his chair, sending little wisps of dust into the air.

“Yea, well it’s my guess.” You took a sip of your beer and looked down at the bottle with a small shake of your head.

“Have you heard from my dad?” Bobby stayed quiet for a moment and you looked up at him.

“He’s safe. I… uhh… I talked to the idjit couple days ago.” You sighed and shook your head as hurt and anger coursed through your veins.

“So he can call you but he can’t be bothered to call his kids. Typical John fucking Winchester right there.”

“Awe, c’mon, (Y/N). You know it’s not like that.” You huffed and leaned back against the couch.

“Unfortunately Bobby, it is like that. It’s been like that my whole life and you know it. Mary’s killer then his kids.” You took a swig of your beer as Bobby shook his head but before he could say anything else, you sat back up and got to business. “Look, it doesn’t matter. He wrote me off last year. I ain’t losing any sleep at night over it anymore, but talking about my dad’s poor parenting choices isn’t why we came up here. I actually need your help with some cars.” Bobby laughed and gestured toward the window behind you.

“Car’s I got. What do you need ‘em for?” You bobbed your head to the side.

“Better you don’t ask questions.” You watched him take a deep breath and you once again cut him off before he could say anything. “I need two, drivable cars and I need to get false bottoms in them and get them back to Charming by Saturday. Figured we could use the plans you had for the Impala, use what we can from the lot here and we’ll pay cash for anything we take.”

“Girl, what are you getting yourself into?” You gave him a weak smile and shook your head.

“Nothing I can’t handle. I’m just a mechanic that works in a shop with an odd request from her boss.” Bobby looked at you and you could see a slight look of sadness and disappointment in his eyes before he turned to Jax.

“You get this girl in trouble and you answer to me, boy; we clear?”

“Yes sir, but you don’t need to worry. She’ll always be protected.” Bobby glared at him for a moment before shaking his head and turning back to you.

“Alright, take what you need. You know your way around the yard.” You smiled and stood up to give him a hug.

“Thanks Bobby. You’re the best.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Juice, hand me that torch.” You said as you tossed the last section of fabric out of the trunk of the Ford Aspire you were working on the next afternoon.

“What, you gunna catch this place on fire?” He teased as he handed it over to you. You glanced up at him as you pulled off the flannel you were wearing and tossed it at your friend as you sparked the torch up.

“I’m gunna torch you if you don’t get your ass to work helpin’.” He laughed as you started cutting slots in the bottom to add support beams for the weight of the guns.

“I am helping. I’m making sure you and Jax stay on target.”

“You better listen to my old lady and get to work.” Jax called out from under a Dodge Spirit he had found. Juice let out a little cheer and you smiled as you cut the torch off. You grabbed the rubber mallet and knocked out the pieces you cut and grabbed your first support beam.

“Still like the sound of that.” You called out as you laid the beam across the floor of the trunk.

“Did I not raise you better than that?” The sound of your dad’s voice made your blood run colder then the cool air that was blowing through the open doors. You stood up straight and walked around the back of the car to see your dad standing at the opening of the garage.

“Dad? What are you…?” 

“No, better question is what are you doing?” He demanded. “I get a call from Bobby yesterday saying my little girl shows up on the back of a motorcycle with some punk asking about cars with false bottoms.”

“Dad stop.” You said as you headed toward him. You saw Jax sliding out from under the car he was tuning up and you started to pray that there wouldn’t be a fight. John shook his head.

“No, you stop. I gave you a good life and you throw it away for some guy you don’t even know.”

“She has a good life now with me and my family.” Jax jumped in and you side stepped between him and your dad.

“Stay out of this boy. This is between me and my daughter.”

“A daughter you stopped talking to a over year ago because she made the choice not to bounce from motel to motel with you to fight a fight that wasn’t hers anymore.”

“Jax, stop. I got this.” You tried as you put your hand on his chest. He shook his head as he gently grabbed your wrist.

“Who the hell do you think you are?”

“Dad, will you please, just stop for a second.” You begged but John simply ignored you.

“I’m the man who has been taking care of her for the last year when you refused to talk to her because she didn’t agree with your lifestyle.”

“Oh, because hunting is so much worse than being in a fucking biker gang!”

“Juice, get him out of here!” You shouted over the men. Juice came running and shoved Jax toward the lot as you tried to push your father away from the man you loved.

“What the hell are you thinking, (Y/N)?” John shouted as his eyes followed the two men into the yard. “How could you think that that is a better life choice for you?”

“How could I not?!” You screamed back as you took a step back. “Dad, I spent my whole life traveling across the US, living in fucking motels, bouncing from school to school with almost no parental supervision or friends for that mater. I mean for Christ’s sake Dean raised me; not you! Then when I started hunting with you, I got arrested at least once a month, I committed felonies every single day and I broke more laws then I care to even think about. With Jax? I have a steady job as a mechanic that pays really good money, I don’t get arrested, I don’t break the law, I have the same roof over my head every night… tell me how being with him is so much worse.” He stayed quiet for only a moment as his eyes fell from yours… and straight onto Jax’s name tattoo across your heart. You watched his rage flare in his eyes as he glared at you.

“You let him BRAND YOU!” He roared. You didn’t even have time to stop him as he stormed around you toward Jax. You spun around as John stalked up to him. 

Your stomach turned as your dad got a halfway decent punch in. As Jax pulled back to swing, you finally reacted. You ran into the garage to where Jax had tossed his kutte and pulled the gun he always carried out of the pocket. You sprinted out into the yard, pointed the gun away from the house and the men and fired.

“ENOUGH!” You screamed as you stormed toward the men who had found themselves on the ground in a mess of blood and limbs. You aimed the gun at both of them and scowled. “Jackson, walk it off.” Your boyfriend shoved away from your dad and headed into the garage with Juice on his heels. You kept the gun pointed at your dad and you shook your head at him. 

“How can you sit there and ask me if you raised me better than being called someones old lady when you have been avoiding your kids for years and you just beat the shit out of my boyfriend because I choose to get a tattoo? I’m 23 now, dad. You don’t get to make my choices for me anymore and I choose the life I’ve made for myself.” You lowered the gun and headed back into the garage. “We need to get these cars done, guys. No more fucking around.” You put the gun down on the tool box next to the Aspire and forced yourself to go back to work. After a moment, Jax came over and pulled you out of the trunk and into his arms.

“Babe, I’m sorry.” He said and you shook your head and sighed.

“You shouldn’t have let him get to you. That’s not your fight, baby.”

“Yea but I don’t want him talking to you like that.” You looked up at him and gave him a small shrug.

“He’s my dad.” 

“Still doesn’t give him the right to talk to you like that.” You gave him a chaste kiss and smiled.

“That’s John Winchester. I can tell you right now, he’s not done. I bet he’s up at the house, stomping around and licking his wounds. Bobby will calm him down the way Dean was always able to and just like he used to, he will see the logic he can’t see when he is mad. I learned that about him when he used to fight with Sam.” You reached up and gently brushed your thumb across a bruise that was just starting to appear on his jaw and you shook your head. “I can’t believe you punched my dad and my brother the first time you met both of them.” He smiled and shrugged.

“Yea well in my defense, your dad swung first.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“So what do we have left to do to get these on the road tomorrow morning?” Jax asked softly as the two of you sat on Bobby’s porch late that night. You exhaled your cigarette smoke and glanced over your shoulder at the front door.

“All I gotta do inside is put on the top of the box in the Spirit and reinstall the lining in both trunks; two hours max. Can you to check the breaks on the Aspire for me though? I didn’t like the way it was breaking with all the tools in the back.”

“What was it doing?” He asked as you took a drag of your cigarette.

“Takin’ it’s sweet ass time. Felt like I was trying to break through sand so I’m missing something somewhere and could use a fresh pair of eyes.” He nodded as the screen door squeaked open. You both turned around to look at John who had been avoiding both of you for the past 24 hours.

“You’re smoking again?” He asked harshly as he took a seat in an old chair by the front door. You scooted over to lean back against the banister and nodded. He gestured to Jax. “He know?”

“Yes sir.” He sighed and ran his hand over his face, leaned forward and shook his head.

“(Y/N), I know you think I treat you differently than your brothers but I need you to know that’s not the case. It’s just… you’re my little girl. I never wanted this life for any of you kids, especially you but I didn’t have another choice. I had to go after…”

“I know daddy.” You interrupted.

“No, honey, you don’t. It’s not a spirit.” You sat up a little straighter and turned toward him.

“You know what killed Mary and Jess?” He nodded slowly.

“You cannot tell your brothers you know this yet; you understand me?” You nodded. “It’s a demon… and it wants Sam.” 

“What?! Why does it want Sam?” John shook his head and shrugged.

“Haven’t got a clue but I’m closing in on it quickly. I know how to kill it and it knows it.” He looked over at Jax for a moment before he looked back at you. “You listen to me… if you are choosing to be out, you stay out of this. This is one nasty son of a bitch. I fought for years to keep you out of this life as best I could by leaving you behind. Figured it was the only way to keep you safe, so if being with… this guy…”

“Jax.” You watched him inhale slightly to fight off any anger and he gave you a half nod.

“If being with Jax is what you want to do, you don’t get involved with hunts. Period. If we need you; I will call you and only as a last resort. Otherwise, you stay hidden.” You nodded and took a drag of your cigarette as John stood up. “I do love you, (Y/N) and I did the best I could with you and your brothers.” He leaned down and kissed the top of your head before walking past you down the steps to his truck. You spun around on the porch as he opened the truck door.

“Hey dad?” He paused and looked over at you. “Call the boys. They are really worried about you.” He nodded and pointed at Jax.

“You take care of my little girl, son.” Jax nodded as John got into his truck.

“Love you.” You called out as he was about to close the door. You could see his smile by the lights in the cab and he bobbed his head in agreement.

“I love you too, sweetheart.” You leaned against Jax’s shoulder as John started his truck. As he pulled out of the driveway, you waved goodbye and sent a little thanks to who ever allowed you to have a little closure on the family business chapter of your life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Cars look good, (Y/N)” Clay says as you gave him a quick tour of the storage boxes that lined the trunk and under the back seats of the two cars. You beamed as you shoved the back seat of the Spirit back in place. 

“Thanks. Jax and Juice were both a lot of help.” He nodded as you closed the back door and he turned around to talk to Tig and Chibs about the run. You looked at your boyfriend and shrugged. “Guess that was my thanks?” You asked softly and he chuckled and nodded. 

“Best you’re gunna get.” The guys started heading to their bikes and you sighed.

“Be safe, come home to me.”

“Always darlin’.” He said as he cupped your cheeks and gave you a kiss. “Enjoy catching up on sleep without me.”

“Yea right. I sleep like shit when your gone.” He gave you a chaste kiss before forcing himself away from you. “Love you!” You called out. He spun around and smiled at you as he cupped his hands around his mouth.

“I love my old lady!” He shouted over the buzz of the engines and your laugh was lost in a handful of cheers. He blew you a kiss as he got on his bike and you waved as the group pulled out of the compound. You headed inside to your room with the full intention of cleaning up and starting some laundry for the week but the comfort of your bed was too much and you did take a nap.

—— 

A sharp knocking on your door woke you up and you rolled over with a groan.

“Yea?” You called out groggily. You blinked a few times to let your eyes adjust to the light as Gemma came into the room. “Hey mom, what’s…” as your vision finally focused, you could see tears falling down her cheeks. You sat up quickly and shook your head.

“Honey, it’s Jax…” You jumped out of bed and grabbed your boots.

“Where is he?” You demanded as you fought to function through your panic.

“St. Thomas.” You jumped up and grabbed your phone, keys and helmet and walked past her.

“I’ll meet you there.” You could hear her crying as you raced out of the club. Every step you took felt like you were running through quicksand. You shook your head; forcing yourself not to cry as you began a repetitive chant of ‘he’s fine’ in your head. 

You sped out of the compound and down the cracked pavement; pushing your bike to the limit and breaking traffic laws left and right. The short trip felt like it took hours until you were finally pulling into the hospital parking lot and parking next to the motorcycles. As you were pulling off your helmet, you heard someone shout your name.

“What the fuck happened?” You shouted as you stormed over to Chibs, who was out front smoking. He shook his head.

“Mayan ambush on the caravan. We split the party ta keep ‘em off the cars. ‘e took a couple ‘its. It…” He trailed off and you shook your head.

“Where was he hit?”

“‘e took two ta the left side in ‘is vest an’ one ta the left leg… but it clipped ‘is femoral artery.” Your breath caught in your lungs and you took a step back as your whole world seemed to cave in on you. You grabbed your friend’s arm as your knees gave out.

“No… no, no, no…” You said as you sank down to the ground. Tears started pouring down your cheeks as you tucked your knees up to your chest.

“‘e’s in surgery now. Did the best I could ta stop the bleeding.” He said; his words far away despite the fact that he was now sitting next to you. After a few minutes, he offered you a lit cigarette.

“You think he’ll make it?” You whispered, not really wanting to know the answer.

“Aye. ‘e’s a strong lad, ‘e’ll make it.” Chibs said. You didn’t know how long you sat there before Clay and Gemma show up. You linked arms with Gemma and the two of you headed inside to wait for news. Time seemed to stand still and with every passing minute, it got a little harder for you to convince yourself he was going to be OK.


	4. Chapter 4

“Teller?” A woman called out sweetly into the waiting room. You and Gemma lurched from your chairs and ran over to her.

“How is he?” You both asked simultaneously. She smiled and nodded. 

“He’s stable. We were able to stop the bleeding and repair the damage.”

“Where is he?” You asked.

“He’s resting now.” You shook your head as Gemma sighed with relief.

“No, I asked where. Not if he was sleeping or not. Where?” The woman looked a little startled but gave you a sweet smile.

“I can only bring one of you back at a time.”

“Go.” Gemma said as she gave you a gentle push. You didn’t need to be told twice as you followed the woman back into the hospital. As you trailed behind her, you felt yourself getting anxious and you wanted to scream at her to walk faster. After a few turns and one seemingly endless hallway she finally stopped in front of a door.

“It may take him a while to come around. He lost a lot of blood.” You nodded as she opened the door and you tried to brace yourself. As you stepped into the all white, too bright room, you couldn’t contain your choked sob. Jax looked so pale laying in the hospital bed and there were lead lines and IV’s decorating his body.

“My God, baby…” You whispered as you grabbed a chair and walked it over to the right side of his bed. Silent tears ran down your cheeks as you collapsed in the chair next to him. You gently took his hand in yours and laced your fingers with his. “Come home to me.” You whispered as you kissed his knuckles. You sat for hours, waiting; fielding texts and calls from your SAMCRO family and from Dean and Sam about his condition. Around dinner, the nurse allowed Gemma to bring you something to eat and to see her son.

“He’s gunna be fine.” You told her as she took your seat. She nodded wordlessly as she ran her hand over her boy’s blonde hair. She only stayed a few minutes before her anxious energy got the better of her. With silent tears, she gave you a kiss goodbye and left to go do something to make the waiting go by quicker. You sat back down and only picked at your meal. 

You had just laid your head down on the bed to try and force yourself to sleep when you felt Jax stirring above you. You looked up with tears of relief in your eyes as he slowly opened his.

“I thought I told you to be safe, Jax.” You whispered; your voice incapable of getting any louder as your tears fell again. He moved his arm out to the side and gestured to you.

“Come here.” You gently climbed onto the bed next to him as he wrapped his arm around you. “Babe, I’m so sorry.” He whispered as he kissed the top of your head. You laid your tear soaked cheek on his chest and shook your head.

“You’re OK; that’s all that matters. The rest we will take care of.” The two of you laid with each other for a few minutes before you forced yourself off the bed to call for his nurse. As the woman took his vitals, you shot a quick text to Sam before calling Gemma. You let her know he was awake and she told you she’d be right there. You hung up the phone at the same time as the nurse finished and left the room. You took your spot back in your chair and Jax grabbed your hand.

“Marry me.” 

“Well that’s romantic.” You snorted and he shook his head and pushed himself up a little straighter in bed.

“I’m all about the fairytale, baby.” He shot back with a groaned laugh as he pulled you toward him. You sat down on the bed by his hip and he gently reached up and cupped your cheek. “I thought I was gunna die today, laid out on that road. It made me realize that I don’t want to live another moment without you as my wife. I love you so fucking much, (Y/N). Marry me; please. Right here, right now.”

“Jax…” He squeezed your hand and you searched his pleading eyes. With a soft smile, you nodded. “Alright.” His face softened into a beautiful smile and he pulled you in for a soft, passionate kiss. After a moment, you pulled back and rested your forehead against his. “You can tell mom when she get’s here. Sam and Dean are in Colorado so can you wait long enough for me to get ahold of them and see if I can get them and my dad here?”

“Anything you want, Mrs. Teller.” You smiled and leaned back to look at him.

“Yea, see I like that better than old lady.” He chuckled as you gave him a chaste kiss and you shook your head. “God, you’re such a hot mess, Jackson.”

“Yea, well now you’re really gunna be stuck with me.”

—— 

“Could you get ahold of dad?” Sam asked as you smoked a cigarette outside of the hospital while Dean found a parking spot the next day. You shook your head.

“Nope. Phone’s still off. I left a message with Bobby for him though in case dad ever calls him.”

“Don’t you think you should wait?” He asked and you shrugged as you took another drag.

“Why, though? We don’t know where he is or when he’s coming back. I’ve got you and Dean here and I know he would understand.” Sam nodded as he toed the pavement.

“It’s strange.” He said as Dean walked over. You cocked your eyebrow and tilted your head slightly.

“What is?” With a small huff, he looked up at you, smiled and gestured to the white shirt and light blue jeans Gemma had brought you to wear.

“Never thought you’d be the first one of us to get married.”

“Shit, after mom, I never thought a Winchester COULD get married with our life and luck.” Dean teased. You shoved at his shoulder lightly before taking the last drag of your cigarette.

“We will be doing this again for both you boys sooner than you think.” Dean scoffed as the three of you headed into the hospital.

“Not me. I’m a lone wolf; prowling the streets of the country just me and Baby.”

“What am I, chopped liver?” Sam retorted with a laugh. You giggled and Dean simply shrugged.

“You’re just over there complaining about my music.”

“That’s because you listen to the same four ancient tapes over and over again, De.” You chimed in to Sam’s defense. Your oldest brother put his hand over his heart.

“Well, I never! How dare you trash the sweet, sweet sounds of Zepplin or…”

“Or the other three tapes Sam and I could sing backwards, forwards, and underwater?” You and Sam both laughed as Dean scowled.

“You know what… it’s my car and you know the house rules. Driver picks the music…”

“Shotgun shut’s his cake hole.” you and Sam finished for him as you stepped into the suddenly very crowded hospital room. You paused for a moment before you looked around at your second family and you smiled.

“Quick introductions; Sam and Dean, meet… like a third of SAMCRO.” There was a brief rumble of hello before Tig raised his hand from the corner.

“Yea hi, Tig here; peanut gallery. Can we get this goin'? Little to much dick in such a small space for my liking.”

“Shut it, Tig.” Gemma snapped. You giggled and went and sat on the bed as a nervous looking hospital priest stepped forward and Jax nodded at him.

“Uh.. we are gathered here on the 7th of October…”

“packed like sardines…” Tig chimed in sarcastically and Clay, who was standing right next to him, hit him over the back of the head.

“Zip it or get the fuck out!” Jax snapped. You smiled at your soon-to-be husband as Tig mumbled an apology.

“t-to join Jackson Nathanial and (Y/N) (Y/M/N) in holy matrimony. Who gives this woman to be married to this man.” The room got quiet for a moment and you turned to look at your oldest brother.

“De, that would be you.”

“Me?” He asked, stunned. You raised your eyebrows and nodded as a few of the guys chuckled. “Oh shit. Yea, me; I give her… to… him?” You groaned and shook your head as everyone laughed. The priest nodded and you could tell he was fighting to keep a straight face.

“Do you, (Y/N), take Jackson to be your lawfully wedded husband?” You turned sideways on the bed to look at him with a smile and brushed a stray hair back behind his ear.

“I do.” He smiled even bigger as he reached up and held your palm to his cheek.

“Do you, Jackson, take (Y/N) to be your lawfully wedded wife?” He nodded against your palm and gave it a small kiss.

“Yea, I definitely do.”

“Do you have rings?” Your smile fell slightly for only a moment before Gemma stepped up to the side of the bed. She reached out and handed a set of rings to Jax and he looked up at her.

“Are you sure?” He asked. She smiled and nodded as a tear fell from her eye.

“Your dad would have wanted it this way.” He nodded and gestured her down for quick hug and a kiss before he took your hand in his.

“My dad married my mom with this ring.” He told just you as he slid the simple silver band on your finger. “This was his.” he said as he put his father’s ring in your palm. You bit your lip to stop your own tears as you slid the silver band into place. With a smile, he held onto your hand as the priest continued.

“Does anyone have anything to say?” He asked.

“Aye.” Chibs jumped in.

“Aw Jesus.” Jax said.

“Here we go.” You stated at the same time as he walked over to the side of the bed. He paused for a second, looked at the two and took a deep breath.

“‘May the Lord ‘old ye in ‘is ‘and, and may ‘e never close ‘is fist too tight.’ Beannachd Dia dhuit. I love ye’s both.” He pat your folded hands and you nodded at him as he stepped back against the wall.

“Promise her.” Clay called out. You brow furrowed slightly and Jax sighed as the SAMCRO guys let out a small cheer. He tilted his head to the side as a smirk graced his features.

“I promise to treat you as good as my leather…”

“And ride you as much as my Harley.” The guys finished with him. You couldn’t stop the slight blush that crept up on your cheeks. You giggled and used your enclosed hands to cover your face for a second as you muttered ‘Oh, my God’ under your breath.

“Well then… by the power invested in me by the State of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” With a laugh, Jax grabbed your jaw and crashed his lips to yours as your family clapped and cheered. 

“I love you… wife.” He whispered against your lips and your smile got impossibly bigger.

“I love you… husband.” He chuckled and nodded slightly.

“Yea, I like the sound of that.”

—— 

“When I get out of here we are moving out of the clubhouse into our own place.” Jax said that night after everyone had left as he fiddled with the wedding band on your hand. You nodded your head against his shoulder and smiled.

“I am totally OK with that. We can find a place by your mother.” You teased as someone knocked on the door.

“Yea fuck that… Yea?” he called out. The door opened slowly and you sat up a little straighter as your dad walked in.

“Daddy? What are you doing here?” He chuckled as he stepped into the room and closed the door.

“What, you think my little girl would get married and I wouldn’t know about it? Bobby called me right after you called him. I’m in California on a lead anyways so I came down just to say congratulations.” He walked over and gave you a lingering kiss on the forehead before shaking Jax’s hand. “I gotta get back on the road. I just wanted to stop by.” You nodded and lost the battle with your tears as he turned and headed out the door. He paused as he was about to close it and looked at you. “I’m proud of you, (Y/N).” Without waiting for a response, he closed the door and left you in a stunned silence. 

“Man knows how to get his point across in next to nothin’.” You laughed and nodded as you laid back down on the slightly too small bed.

“It’s kinda creepy sometimes. Dean does the same thing; came up with code words to make it even quicker too.” Jax laughed as he went back to playing with your wedding band.

“Code words like what?”

“Umm… like Poughkeepsie means drop everything and run… aaannd… funky town means you’re in trouble…” Jax laughed and you glanced up at him with a smile.

“You guys would have your own code!” You shrugged.

“Hey, it kept us alive and out of jail… most of the time.”

“Well Mrs. Teller, I can tell you now that those are two things that I will be the only one worrying about now.” You smiled and looked up at him.

“My hero husband saving the day.”

~~~~~~~ MID-MARCH 2007 ~~~~~~~~~ 

“Hey babe?” Jax called out as he walked into the three bedroom house the two of you had bought two weeks before.

“Bedroom!” You shouted from the closet where you were hanging up the last of his clothes behind yours. After a moment, Jax strolled in with only the slightest limp and a giant smile on his face.

“Stop unpacking and pack up.” You whipped around to look at him and growled in frustration.

“Damnit Jax, what now? Your mother and I have been moving shit in all week while you’re off galavanting around doing who knows what…” he chuckled, wrapped his arms around your waist and silenced you with a kiss.

“Honeymoon. Two weeks- no work, no club, no one but you and me and the open road.” Your face softened from anger into confusion.

“How the hell did you manage to pull that off?”

“Ma told Clay it was happening. Said we needed ‘us’ time as newlyweds because of everything that’s been happening last few months with Jess and your dad and my shooting and recovery and shit.” You smirked and slowly wrapped your arms around your husband’s neck.

“So you’re tellin’ me… that you and me… get to get on your bike… drive away… and no one is going to stop us?” You asked punctuating your phrases with light kisses. He hummed and shook his head slowly with a smile.

“No one’s stoppin’ us.” You moved your hands down his neck to cup his cheeks and leaned back slightly in his arms.

“Then what the hell are we doing still standing by the closet?” He pulled you back to him for a bruising kiss before letting you go to start packing. 

“So where am I taking my beautiful wife?” He asked as the two of you started grabbing clothes and tossing them out onto your bed.

“Away from Charming and preferably not to a motel.” He laughed as he headed into the bathroom.

“You want to go to Florida?” He called out as you grabbed a backpack and started putting clothes in it.

“Florida is a hot tourist trap even in the spring, trust me I’ve done the research a time or two. Oh! Let’s go to New York! I’ve never been to the city before. We can see what kind of trouble the Teller’s can get into there.” Jax walked out of the bathroom with a smile, handed you a few bathroom essentials and nodded.

“New York City it is.”

“You wanna know what I wanna do?” You said with a wicked smile as he pulled your phone chargers from the wall.

“What’s that?” You waited for him to look at you and smiled even wider.

“I wanna fuck you right in the middle of Central Park.”

“Oof! I like the sound of that!” You laughed as you zipped the backpack closed and kissed his cheek.

“I thought you would.” You grabbed your boots and shoved them on quickly as he threw a few last minute things into the bag. “Is it bad that despite the fact that I love our house and we just bought it, I am so happy to be leaving?” You asked as you went to the closet to grab your jacket and gun.

“Well if it is, I’m guilty of it too.” You smiled as you grabbed the back pack off the bed and slung it on your back. “You ready?” You nodded as he reached for your hand. The pair of you couldn’t rush out of the house faster to get on the road and before you knew it, you were flying down the highway with the wind in your hair. You didn’t realize how much you missed the feeling of the open road. 

The sound of approaching motorcycles a few hours into Nevada made both of you tense. As they got closer, you both realized that you now had found yourself in a very precarious situation; you and Jax facing eight Mayan bikers.

“Hang on.” Jax shouted as he gunned his bike past the group of riders. You looked into the rearview mirror as two men at the back of the pack whipped around to follow you. He punched it even harder as the men gained on you.

“Gimme your gun.” You shouted before glancing over your shoulder. You knew you were a good enough shot and distance wasn’t an issue but you didn’t want to reach for your own to tip the two men off.

“What? No way, I…”

“Jackson! Less talking.” You felt his growl rumble through his chest as he reached for his gun and handed it to you in front of his body. “Slow down just a bit.” He nodded and glanced in the mirror as he eased off the gas a hair. You smirked as you turned partially on the seat and the men began shooting at you. “Fucking idiots.” You said to yourself as you aimed and fired at the two men. Four shots in and you hit your mark; your bullet slammed into one of the men’s throat. His hands flew to his neck and his bike careened into his buddy’s sending him flying over the handlebars face first into the pavement at 50 miles an hour.

“Holy shit!” Jax shouted as he slowed down to go back. “How the fuck did you do that?”

“Years of hunter training on how to shoot a gun at shit that’s chasing after you.” As he came to an idle next to the wreckage, you shook your head. The guy who had flown over his handlebars was shouting in Spanglish and Jax took the gun from your hand.

“Get off.” He said as he put the kickstand down and you hopped off the bike. He stood above the guy and glared down at him with a look of pure rage in his blue eyes. “Think you can shoot at my wife?” He asked as he kicked the Mayan in the face. You couldn’t tear your eyes off the dead, panicked look the man you shot had as your husband began to beat the other man. It took you a moment to realize what was going on before you could react.

“Jax… Jackson!” You shouted. He paused just long enough to put a bullet between the man’s eyes before he stood up and wrapped you in a hug. You buried your face in his chest and shook your head as your hands began to shake. “I killed him.” Jax shook his head and kissed the top of your head.

“I’ll take care of this. Don’t worry babe; I got you.” The two of you stood there silent for a moment before he pulled away and looked down at the carnage. “Fuck… this is gunna cause a shit storm.” He pocketed his gun, grabbed his gloves and handed them to you. You cocked your eyebrow at him and he shook his head. “I won’t let you catch a murder charge. I can use my shirt.” You knew better than to question him and put them on as he moved his bike off the road. The two of you dragged bloody bodies and bikes off the road as quickly as you could into a pile in a ditch.

“What now?” You asked as he walked over to you, pulled out his phone and called someone. He didn’t say anything as he pulled out his cigarettes and lit you one.

“Uncle Jury? Hey… Been better man, listen… I got a problem.” As he told the story, you slowly smoked and stared in the direction of the two dead men. While this wasn’t your first kill by a long shot, this was the first human being you had flat out murdered. You sat down on the side of the road and rested your arms on your bent knees. A few minutes later, Jax crouched down next to you and rubbed your arm, shaking you out of your blank stare. 

“Jury and the guys from an SOA charter here are gunna come help us take care of this. They’ll be here in like half an hour but I wanna get you out of here and to their clubhouse before I call Clay.” You nodded as he helped you off the ground. You grabbed the backpack and put it on as he started up the bike. You couldn’t stop yourself from looking back once more as you got on but forced yourself to look away as the love of your life rushed you away.

—— 

“Should’ve seen it, Jury. Fourth shot, straight through the throat.” Jax bragged to the president of the Indian Hill’s charter softly. “Never seen a shot like that from a bike.” You attempted unsuccessfully to ignore the men’s boastful banter as you picked at the label of your almost empty beer with your nail and tried to convince yourself that while what you did was murder; it was truly justifiable self-defense just like a hunt.

“What were you two doing out here alone anyways?” Jury asked. Jax smiled as he rubbed his hand across your back.

“Mom mandated a two week honeymoon. Headed to New York on a little road trip.”

“Hell of a way to start a honeymoon.” Jury said and you glanced up and really spoke for the first time since you had been there.

“Fits to par with the rest of our relationship though. He met me as a hitchhiker, wanted to date me because I knocked out some handsy douchebag at a bar, married me in a hospital bed day after he almost died so a dual murder by both of us for the honeymoon apparently was just the next step for the new Teller family.” The men laughed and Jax kissed your temple. A man you hadn’t met came over and said something in Jury’s ear and he nodded.

“Everything’s taken care of. You guys still headed East?” Jax nodded as you finished off your beer.

“Yep. Gunna get my old lady out of Mayan territory for a while and enjoy time together away from it all.” Jury nodded as the three of you stood up and he pulled Jax in for a hug.

“Your dad would be proud of the man you’re becoming.” He said as he pulled away from his war buddy’s son and looked at you. “And he would have loved a little spitfire like you.” He gave you a quick hug before pulling and looking at Jax. “Got a few of my guys out front; gunna ride with you to the boarder just to be safe.” You both thanked the older man for what seemed like millionth time before joining the five other bikers that made up your escort out of Nevada.

—— 

You stood just outside of the city on the side of the road, scowling and smoking a cigarette as Dean rattled off annoyingly in your ear while Jax looked at you almost pleadingly.

“Dean… Hon-ey-moon.” You enunciated angrily as you flicked off the ash of your cigarette. “That word means no hunting. And dad would…”

“Dad isn’t going to find out. We need the backup and you’re in New York for your ‘hon-ey-moon’ anyways.” he mocked. 

“Is nothing sacred to you assholes?” You grumbled as you glanced at your husband. You could tell just by the look on his face that he was dying to see what a hunt was all about and a vamp case with the Winchester kids would be as good as any to let him. “Don’t give me that look.” You told him.

“C’mon, (Y/N) it will be like old times.” Sam begged. 

“I hate all of you.” You grumbled. Your brothers gave a small shout of rejoice and Jax smiled as you shook your head. “Just send me the address of the motel you’re in.”

“Well this is turning out to be quite the honeymoon.” Jax teased as you hung up the phone.

“Yea, real Bonnie and Clyde bloodbath.” You flicked your cigarette across the road as your phone vibrated in your hand. You pulled the address up on your GPS, set the phone down by the speedometer and groaned as you got on the back. With a chuckle, Jax started up his bike and headed off in the opposite direction you were headed.

—— 

“So, give me the run down.” You said as you toed off your boots and flopped down on the motel bed. Sam cleared his throat and shuffled through some papers on the table as Jax took a seat across from him.

“So, we have three bodies, drained of blood and dumped off Route 2 within in last two days.”

“Puncture marks?” You asked as you looked over at your brother and he nodded as he looked for other papers.

“We have two people who went missing day before the bodies started dropping…”

“Probably being used as blood bags.” Dean said as he came out of the bathroom. You rolled your eyes and nodded.

“So how many we thinking and do we know where they are at?” Sam looked up at you, nodded and turned his laptop toward you.

“We think about 10… and this whole area is farm land.” He said as he circled an area on the screen with his finger. “But get this, right here…” He pointed at a green spot and grabbed a morgue picture. “This farm belongs to a Richard Michaels… our first vic.” You took the picture from your brother’s hand and looked at the lifeless face of the older man.

“Well, I guess we found our vamp nest. You guys get the vamptonite already?” Your brothers remained quiet for a second and you looked up and smirked. “Come on, you two. There is no freaking way you are that hopeless without me doing the research and prep portion for you.”

“You know what, (Y/N) we are not hopeless.” Dean snapped as he sat down on the other bed. You crossed your arms over your chest and looked at him smugly.

“Oh yea? Where’s the vamptonite?”

“Bite me, Button.”

“What’s vamptonite?” Jax asked as he glanced at the collection of notes and case files on the motel table.

“Nicer way of saying blood from a dead guy.” Dean told him. He nodded as you swung your legs off the bed.

“You don’t by chance have my old FED suit, heels and creds in the Impala, do you?” 

“Actually, I brought them inside already.” Sam said as he tossed you a small bag from under the table. “You got a couple shirts in there as well.” You smiled as you pulled it open and you looked up at Jax.

“Sorry baby. You gotta stay behind for this part. Sam, you wanna catch him up on basics while Dean and I go take a run at the morgue… again?”

“Why do I gotta stay behind? I can help.” You looked at your brother as you grabbed the grey pencil skirt and a white button up from the bag.

“You explain things better and Dean is a better flirt when I need him to be.” Sam paused for a moment and pursed his lips before nodding in agreement.

“Alright, fair point.”

“If you hurry we can make it in before they close for the night.” Dean said in a sing-song voice. You flipped him the bird and headed into the bathroom to get changed and silently cursed yourself for getting involved with another hunt.

—— 

“So, decapitation, no guns. And the blood stuns them if I need it?” Jax asked as the four of you stood at the back of the Impala at the end of the driveway. You nodded and turned to him; pushing him a couple steps away from your brothers gently to speak to him in almost a whisper.

“Listen, I know that killing things is one of the things you do back home for the sake of the club and I don’t really give a fuck about that but killing monsters is a completely different ball game. The boys will go in first then me, then you. Trust me, you will see action but this isn’t…”

“Babe, I know. I’m out of my element here but don’t worry about me. I’m pretty sure I can figure this out as I go.” You sighed and shook your head.

“I just don’t want to lose you. If you get bit…” He shushed you and gave you a chaste kiss to stop any further protests.

“It’s gunna be fine, babe. Relax, let’s get this done.” With a heavy sigh, you nodded, turned back to the car and grabbed your machete as Dean passed Jax one.

“You stay in the back.” Dean demanded, already lost in a hunter mindset. “Kill anyone that heads for the door except us. Don’t worry about (Y/N); she can handle herself.” You glanced at Jax who grit his teeth at being told what to do but he nodded anyways. Without another word, Dean slammed the trunk closed and headed down the driveway with the rest of you not far behind.

“Look, I got eyes on Jax.” Sam said softly and you glanced up at him gratefully. “I know you are just as much out of your element as he is. You just keep eyes on Dean.” You nodded as you followed Dean into the woods to prepare. As the four of you pause outside of the barn to watch, you heard a stick break behind you. You all whipped around with your machete’s raised and froze as John Winchester came out of the trees and shook his head.

“What did I tell you about staying out?” He whisper yelled at you as he crouched down behind the four of you. 

“Dad? How the…?” Dean said and John shook his head.

“Don’t ask questions, boy. How stupid are you three doing this hunt this late in the day? Whatever plan you all had it’s now being changed. They have the gun we need to kill the thing that got your mom. I’ll go in first, get it and you two worry about the rest. (Y/N), go back to the car with your husband and wait.”

“What? That’s not…”

“Don’t make me say it twice, girl. Sun sets in less than an hour and we don’t have time for your pettiness; go.” 

“Un-fucking-believeable.” You grumbled as you got up and stormed back through the woods. As you made it to the Impala, you tossed your machete on the ground and leaned against the black metal. “This is what I used to deal with all the time. All the built up to get cock-blocked at the last minute.” You told Jax as he tossed his knife toward the back of the car and leaned against it next to you with his brow furrowed.

“How did he even know where we were?” He asked. You shrugged as you reached into the pocket of his kutte and grabbed his cigarettes and lighter.

“John Winchester gives a whole new meaning to creepy stalker sometimes.” You said as you lit two cigarettes and handed him one without thinking. The two of you stood there silently waiting as you smoked.

“Now, I don’t know what smells more delicious; the boy, the girl or the smoke.” The female voice barely registered completely before a pair of arms wrapped around your upper body and yanked you into the air. True to Jax form, he shoved away from the car and grabbed his gun.

“Let her go!” He demanded as he pointed the useless metal at the woman who held you to her chest on top of the Impala. She laughed and shook her head.

“No sweetie. I can’t do that. See, Winchester has to pay for what he just did.” You looked down to where your machete was laying a couple feet in front of your husband and came up with the only plan you could. Your panicked eyes found his as the woman yammered on.

‘Shoot my leg.’ You said as you looked down at the machete at his feet.

“Let her go!” Jax said once more as you mouthed ‘trust me.’

“Not happening. Just have to wait…” The sound of the shot ringing out barely covered your scream as the bullet embedded into the outside edge of your right thigh. You gripped the woman’s arms and collapsed on top of the car; pulling her down on top of you. With amazing reflexes, you ducked your head to your chest seconds before Jax grabbed your machete and lopped off the vamp’s head in one fluid motion. You felt the dead weight of her body crush you for only a moment before it disappeared.

“Nice reflexes, Teller.” You groaned as he dragged you off the top of the car.

“Nice plan but was that really the best you could come up with?” He asked as he ripped off his kutte and the shirt he had on and held the latter to your leg to stop the bleeding.

“Got the job done, didn’t it? Keep watch, I got this.” He gave you a short nod as you took over holding his shirt to your thigh and he stood in front of you.

“Did I really just shoot my wife? On our honeymoon, no less.” He asked rhetorically and you giggled.

“Yea, worry about that later.” You two only had to wait a moment before your dad and the boys headed out of the woods.

“The hell happened to my car?!” Dean demanded as he ran to look at the bloody body that was sprawled across the hood and the giant dent from the two bodies collapsing on it.

“Oh thanks. Don’t gotta worry bout me, De. Not like I’m bleeding here or nothin’.” 

“What happened?” John asked as he and Jax helped you up. You hissed as you put weight on your leg.

“Bitch came out of no where and grabbed (Y/N). She told me to shoot her in the leg and when they both fell, I cut off the head.” John looked over at your husband as Jax picked you up in his arms. “Can we get her to a hospital now?”

“We don’t do hospitals, son. Sam?” Your dad called out. Your brother looked over as John threw his thumb toward his truck. “Get the bullet out of your sister.” Sam nodded and laughed as Jax followed him to John’s truck.

“What’s so funny?” You asked as Sam dropped the tailgate. Jax set you down gently as Sam grabbed the first aid kit and a bottle of whiskey from the cab.

“Your husband shot you on your honeymoon.” He chuckled as he handed you the bottle. You scowled as you wiggled out of your jeans to get patched up. 

“This is why I can’t have nice things.”

——

“So, I vote no more blood shed till we get back to Charming.” You said as Jax carried you into the hotel in New York City. He smiled and nodded as he kicked the room door closed.

“I vote room service and hours of sex for the rest of our honeymoon.” You hummed as he laid you down on the bed and you pulled him down with you.

“I agree with that as long as we can take a nap first. SOMEONE shot me yesterday and my leg hurts.” You teased as you wrapped your arms around the neck of the man you loved.

“Then SOMEONE should have given me a better idea.” He joked as he rolled onto his back so you were laying on top of him. You shrugged and gave him a chaste kiss. 

“Yea, well I’ll just hold it against you forever.” You said as you started to lay your head down on his chest; however, a thought stopped you and you looked back up at him with a huge grin. “Mom is going to kill you!” He blanched and let his head fall back into the pillows.

“Shit, she totally is.” You smiled as you laid your head down his chest and moved your hands comfortably to rest on his ribs.

“I should call her right now; fake sobbing, the whole nine.” He chuckled as he ran his fingertips in meaningless patterns across your back.

“Go ahead. She’ll fly out here in a heartbeat to beat my ass.”

“I’m getting up right now then.” You said without moving an inch as you closed your eyes with a small content sigh. 

“Do you wanna have kids?” Jax asked after a few minutes as he kissed the top of your head. Your smile grew but you didn’t move your head.

“You just shot me and now you want me to have your kids?” He chuckled and lifted your chin with his fingers to look at you.

“I’m serious. Let’s have kids.” You folded your hands across his chest and propped your chin on them.

“What if I don’t want kids?” You countered playfully and an evil grin played at his lips.

“Well you’re gettin’ them anyways so buckle up.” He said as he rolled you onto your back. You threw your arms around his neck and wrapped your good leg around his waist.

“Sex with my handsome husband; what a chore.” He growled playfully and attacked your neck with kisses and love bites.

“It’s gunna feel like a chore with how many times I’m gunna fuck my sexy ass wife to knock you up.”

“Oh no! whatever will I do!”

—— 

“Are you sure you want to keep trying to have kids with me?” You asked Jax softly as you ran your hands through his hair and slowly rolled your hips against his. You captured his ear between your teeth and he sucked air through his teeth and gripped your bare shoulders.

“Oh baby. I could do this every day and never get tired of trying with you.” You hummed a laugh as you glanced around Central Park for peeping Toms and ground against him harder. “Fuck… I need you to stop teasing me.” He groaned as you ran the tip of your tongue across the shell of his ear.

“Oh but it’s so much fun for me.” You whispered as you placed open mouth kisses along his throat. He chuckled as he dropped one hand to his lap and lifted the end of the maxi dress you found at a thrift store for just this occasion.

“May be but this is better.” He said as he captured your lips with his, slipped his fingers under your lace panties and dipped them in your dripping wet pussy. Your gasp was lost in his mouth as he relentlessly pumped his fingers in and out of you. You gently tugged on his hair but as your coil threatened to snap and he backed off.

“Fuck Jax… I hate it when you do that.” You said as your head fell to his shoulder. He chuckled as he unzipped his jeans and pulled out his impressive length under the cover of your dress.

“Don’t I always make it worth it in the end?” He asked. He grabbed your hip as he lined himself up and slowly pulled you down on to him. You bit your cheek to hold back your moan as his eyes rolled back and his head fell against the tree he was leaning against. You both took a moment to adjust before he squeezed your hip and picked his head up to look at you. 

“Move.” He growled against your lips before he kissed you feverishly. With another lost moan, you rolled your hips at an almost torturously slow pace. You pulled away and kissed your way your way down his jaw.

“Never said how fast.” You teased as you squeezed yourself around him. He snapped his hips to yours and held your face to his neck to muffle your cry.

“God you’re so fucking perfect.” He pulled your hips faster; his own thrusts meeting you with each pass and he tangled his other hand in your hand to keep your moans muffled in his kutte. Your body tensed as your coil tightened and you tugged at the blonde strands in your hand.

“Fuck Jax…” You gasped as you snapped. You bit the leather of his kutte and let out a squeaked scream as your thighs began to shake and your orgasm tore through you. He squeezed his eyes closed as your walls clamped down around him and dropped his mouth to your shoulder. His cursing was muffled by your inked skin as he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist and spilled inside of you. You held each other close, bodies quivering as you both attempt to keep moans of pleasure quiet in vain and you rode out the rush. Once your breathing leveled out, Jax chuckled as he reached under your dress once more to tuck himself away.

“If you find out your pregnant in a month, we are telling everyone you got knocked up in Central Park.” You giggled as you pulled one of his knees to the side and sat on the ground between his legs as Jax lit a cigarette.

“It’s a good story to tell. I doubt…”

“Excuse me…” A woman interrupted. You glanced up at her scowling face and she shook her head and pointed at both of you. “God is watching you all the time, you heathens.” Jax simply laughed as he blew his smoke in her face and handed you the cigarette.

“Yea, he is and he’s the only mother fucker in the world who doesn’t have to pay per view to watch good porn.” You snorted in laughter as the woman put her hand over her heart and gasped. Jax picked his hand up from where it was laying on your thigh and swept it at her in a ‘go away’ motion. “Can you fuck off? You’re bothering me and my wife.”

“You’re both going to hell!” She shouted as she stormed away. You turned to look at her retreating figure and laughed.

“Hate to tell you but hell already kicked us out.” You heard the woman growl angrily as she stomped away. You shook your head and Jax laughed. “Dude… what?”

“You know she was probably sitting somewhere watching us fuck just waiting for us to finish.” He said as you took a drag of the cigarette.

“Should have charged her a viewing fee.” Your phone rang in Jax’s pocket and you handed him the cigarette and grabbed it. “Uptight bitch probably hasn’t seen any action in her life.” You glanced down at the caller ID and smiled at your brother’s name as you answered the phone. “Holy shit, Sammy you will never believe what just happened.”

“Hey… tell me another time. S-somethin’ bad happened.” Your laughter stopped and your smile dropped and you instinctively grabbed Jax’s arm.

“What? Sam, what happened?” Your brother paused for a moment and you tightened your grip on the sleeve of Jax’s shirt and swallowed.

“There was an accident. Dad and I are fine but…” His sentence trailed off and you panicked.

“Dean… Sammy what happened to Dean?”

“He’s in a coma, (Y/N) and they say… it’s…” His voice broke and you frantically shook your head as bile rose in your throat.

“I’m coming. Send me… he’s… I’m coming.” You dropped the phone on the ground as you looked at Jax. “Dean…” was all you got out before you burst into tears. Jax pulled you back into his lap and held you close as you mentally begged anyone out there to not let your brother die.

“What happened?” Jax asked softly once you calmed down. You shook your head against his neck and sniffled.

“Car accident. Dean’s in a coma and Sam says it doesn’t look good.” He nodded as he gently pulled back and rested his forehead against yours.

“Dean is a fighter. He’s gunna be just fine.” You nodded slightly and he sighed and gave you a chaste kiss. “Come on, let’s go get our stuff together and get on the road.”


	5. Chapter 5

“(Y/N)!” Sam called out as you and Jax walked through the Sioux Falls hospital hallways. You gave him a weak smile and started down the hall he was standing in but froze when the temperature dropped suddenly. 

“Is he here?” You asked as the temperature returned to normal just as quickly as it dropped. Sam nodded his head and gestured you into Dean’s room.

“He’s in-between. He managed to throw a glass when dad and I were fighting yesterday so I got a Ouija board last night from some store in town. He says a reaper is after him and it’s coming quick. Dean is getting worse and worse every minute.”

“Where’s dad?” Sam shrugged and with a sigh, you walked over to your brother’s bed side. “Hey asshole.” You said softly as you brushed your fingers through his hair and fought back your tears. “You gotta stay with us, De. I can’t deal with Sam and dad without you, you know that.” 

“You want the board?” Sam asked and you shook your head.

“No. Dean’s a fighter. He’ll…” The rhythmic beep of Dean’s heart monitor suddenly flatlined; interrupting your words. 

“Dean!” Sam shouted as he rushed to the far side of the bed.

“We need help in here!” Jax screamed down the hall as you screamed your brother’s name. A moment later, Jax wrapped his arms around your body and pulled you out into the hall as nurses and the doctor raced into the room. He held you to his chest and tears poured down your cheeks as the three of you watched the hospital staff try to bring him back to life. Shock after shock sent Dean’s body arching off the table but the incessant solid beep didn’t form a pattern.

“Alright everybody, that’s it. I’ll call it. Time of death: 6:36am” You let out a blood curdling scream as your knees gave out. Jax held you tight and eased you to your knees as the nurses filed out of the room. You clung to your husband desperately and sobbed. Out of no where, you felt a blast of cold air rush past you and Jax shivered.

“Sam!” You cried as you whipped your head toward the room as Dean suddenly gasped for air around the breathing tube. Sam looked at his brother for half a second before sticking his head into the hall.

“Help! I need help!” he roared. You and Jax scrambled off the floor but he held you out in the hall as the nurses rushed back into Dean’s room. Sam stood with you and you held both their hands as the doctor came in, took out his breathing tube and checked him out. After twenty minutes, he came out shaking his head.

“I’ve never seen anything like it. He appears to be in outstanding health; vitals are damn near perfect like he wasn’t in a coma at all. We’ll need to keep him over night and run a few test. You can go in there now.” 

“What the hell?” Sam said as the doctor walked away. You shook your head, walked into the room and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Hey, asshole. Enjoy scaring the shit out of us?”

“What the hell happened?” He asked as he rubbed his chest where he had been shocked.

“Dean, you were in a coma for two days. You just died!”

“I… what?” Dean asked as he looked up at Sam confused. Sam’s jaw fell open and he nodded.

“Uhh yea. We talked while you were in a coma. You said you had a reaper after you.”

“We talked? I said… wait a minute… please tell me you did not go all girls sleepover party and get a Ouija board on me here?” He joked.

“De, what do you remember?” Your brother looked over at you, pouted his bottom lip out as he thought and shook his head. 

“Nothing. The accident and then just waking up.” You glanced up at Sam as Jax stepped forward and pat your brother on the shoulder.

“Well welcome back, brother.” Dean nodded at him and looked back at the silent conversation you and Sam were having.

“You really don’t remember anything?” Sam asked as he looked back over at your older brother. He shook his head and scrunched his face up a bit.

“Not a damn thing but I have this weird pit in my stomach that something isn’t right.”

“I’m gunna take you to get a CT scan. Should take about an hour.” You got off the bed and kissed Dean’s forehead.

“Jax and I are gunna head to a motel for a couple hours and get some sleep. We’ve been on the road since yesterday to get here. We’ll be back though.” He nodded as you kissed his forehead. After the nurse unlocked the breaks to his bed and wheeled him out of the room, you turned to Sam.

“Something big just happened here.” You said as you shut the door to the room and Sam nodded.

“Yea but the question is what?” He asked.

“Is there any thing that is capable of doing that?” Jax asked as he gestured to the spot Dean’s bed just was. You shrugged.

“Nothing I have seen before… my gut tells me dad had something to do with it though.” Sam said. You pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed.

“Well I’m too tired to try and figure it out and I just watched my brother die and come back to life in a 5 minute period so I don’t know about you but I’m going to take a nap while they run their tests.”

“I’ll stay here and keep you posted.” You nodded as you gave your brother a hug.

“If dad shows up before I’m back, let me know.”

“Here.” Sam said as he pulled a motel room key out of his pocket and handed it to Jax. “Take a right out of the parking lot and it’s ‘bout 5 minutes down the main drag on the left. Room 107. Didn’t wanna impose on Bobby so I got it yesterday.” You nodded thanks as you took Jax’s hand and the two of you trudged out of the room.

“I feel like there is something I’m missin’ about this whole thing.” He said as the two of you stepped out into the parking lot. 

“You and me both. There is something the boys aren’t saying whether that is on accident or purpose. My guess? The car accident wasn’t an accident; the demon my dad is hunting had something to do with it. As far as Dean’s mysterious comeback…? That one I have no idea but I think when we find my dad he will be able to give us some better insight.” Jax nodded as he got on his bike and you climbed on the back of it. “Whatever it is though… I have the same pit in my stomach Dean does.”

——

“Hey Sam, what’s up?” You asked as Jax pulled back into the hospital parking lot a three hours later.

“Hey, so two things. Dean has been cleared to go home- just gotta wait for the paperwork and dad’s back.”

“When did dad get back?” You asked as you got off the bike and your husband gave you a tight lipped smile.

“Couple minutes ago but he’s acting super weird. He’s in Dean’s room and I’m getting him coffee.” 

“Alright, well we just pulled in so I’ll meet you in Dean’s room.” Sam hung up the phone and you took Jax’s hand and strolled toward the door.

“Looks like you get some answers now.” He said as you walked inside.

“If he feels like talkin’. You know how my dad is.” Jax chuckled as you headed down the halls.

“I mean, I’ve only really met the guy a few times, never longer than 10 minutes and one of those times he sucker punched me for branding you. You know, for an old man, he has a decent hook.” You laughed as you turned down the hall as John walked out of the room.

“Well hey there. Where have you been?” You asked as you gave your dad a hug. He pulled back and shook his head. He stared at you for a moment and smiled and you could see tears in his eyes. “Dad? What’s wrong.”

“Just… realizing how much I love you.” You gave him a weak confused smile and he kissed your forehead. He pulled back and gestured down the hall with a small smile. “I gotta sign some papers. I’ll see ya in there.” With a light pat on the cheek, he stepped around you and walked down the hall to the nurses station. You turned and looked at Jax who simply shrugged before the two of you went into Dean’s room.

“Hey Button! You came back.” You laughed as you crossed the room and sat down on the bed.

“Yea, what’s up with dad?” Dean shrugged as Jax grabbed a chair and pulled it up to the bedside. 

“It’s dad that’s what’s up with him.”

“Truth. So, what are your plans after here?” Dean groaned and fell back against the bed.

“I have to rebuild Baby since Sam trashed her. My poor, poor car.” You laughed and pat his leg.

“You’ll be OK. If you want the help, you can always bring her to Charming and Jax and I can lend a hand.”

“HA! As if I’d let a GIRL work on my car.” He teased as he bopped your nose. You scrunched up your face and scowled as Dean got up out of bed.

“You taught me how to fix cars on Baby, asshole and I am better than most the guys in the shop I work in!” You claimed proudly and Jax laughed and nodded.

“Yea and all of that is because of your big brother. If any…”

“Help! Someone help!” Sam’s voice echoed down the hall, cutting off Dean’s words. The two of you looked at each other before he ran out of the room with you right behind him. He made it three doors down before he stopped and spun in his place.

“Nope. You don’t need to see this.” He said as he grabbed your shoulders and spun you into your husband. “Keep her here.”

“What? What is it?” You asked as you tried to turn back around. You caught a glimpse of your dad’s body lying on the ground in the window and gasped as Jax grabbed you in his arms and hid your face in his chest.

“It’s gunna be OK, baby. They are gunna fix him right up.” He soothed as he watched Sam, Dean and a couple of the nurses heave John’s lifeless body onto the bed. You squeezed your eyes closed and gripped his shirt in your fist as your world shattered for the second time that day. It felt like hours went by as they tried to revive him and you prayed to a force you didn’t really believe in to bring him back to you.

“Ok, that’s it everybody. I’ll call it. Time of death 10:41am.” You let out a choked sob as the words ripped through your soul. You clung onto the love of your live desperately as tears poured down your cheeks. While the nurses and doctor cleared the room and you waited to see if the other shoe would drop and he would come back.

“We’ll take him to Bobby’s and built a pyre.” Dean said to Sam from inside the room. 

“Tell them we’ll meet them there and get me out of here.” You whispered. Without hesitation, Jax lifted you off the ground and you buried your face in his neck. Jax passed on your message quickly before carrying you out of the hospital. 

It took a couple hours to get the pyre built and John’s body back to Bobby’s. You stood silently with Jax and Sam by your side and said goodbye to the man who gave you the best life he could. You sent him a silent thank you for everything he had done for you and with one final ‘I love you’, you turned away.

“Take me back to Charming… but let’s go through Nevada.” You said before walking away without a glance back.

——

When you got back to Charming, you locked yourself in your house for a week; not letting anyone in except Jax, as you mourned the loss of a man you never thought you would miss so much. During that week, you managed to get ahold of John’s truck and claimed it as your own since the boys had the Impala. When Bobby dropped if off at your front door for you, you were shocked to find two pictures smiling at you from the dash; one of the boys and Mary when your brothers were little and your first grade school picture with your front teeth missing. Having his truck made you almost feel whole again and you were able to move on and life essentially went back to normal.

~~~~~~ EARLY SEPTEMBER 2007 ~~~~~~

You sat on the bathroom floor against the wall by your bedroom door with the pregnancy test bouncing against your palm before work. You were staring out the bathroom door at your husband, who was sitting in his boxers on the bed. His foot was bouncing a mile a minute as the two of you impatiently waited. 

“You ready?” You asked with a smile and he jumped up and joined you nervously in the room.

“God, I hope it happened this time.” He said as he leaned against the door frame for only a second before squatting down anxiously and continuing to bounce his heel. You kept your eyes locked on his as you held the test in front of you but you panicked at the last minute. You had only been trying for six months and were starting to get discouraged seeing negative tests month after month.

“You look, I can’t.” You said as you held out the test and looked away. He snatched it from your hand and you quickly looked back at him only to see him still looking at you.

“Fuck… I can’t either.” he said with a laugh. You slid down onto the floor and kneeled in front of him and sighed.

“Together?” He nodded and took a deep breath.

“1… 2, 3.” He said rapidly. You forced yourself to look down at the white plastic stick and shrieked with joy at the sight of the purple plus sign. You looked up at Jax, who had tears in his eyes and nodded.

“We’re gunna have a baby.” You whispered. He threw the stick toward the trash and lunged forward, attacking your mouth with his and laying you down on the cold tile floor. He wrapped his arms around you, fell to his side and pulled you with him as he buried his face in your neck.

“We’re gunna be parents.” You smiled against his bare chest as happy tears fell from your eyes. The two of you laid on the bathroom floor for a moment before he kissed your shoulder and pulled back. “Alright parents or not we gotta get to work.” You groaned and fell onto your back on the cold tile floor.

“I’m pregnant, I can’t.” You whined with a giant smile on your face. Jax propped himself on his elbow and smiled down at you.

“I think I like hearing that better than I like hearing you call me your husband.” You smiled and looked over at him as he began to drag his fingers across your stomach.

“How about this… Jax Teller, my amazing, handsome, sweet husband got me pregnant.” He smiled, leaned down and kissed your stomach before moving up and hovering above your face.

“Yea, I like that more.” He gave you a gentle kiss as he rested his palm across your stomach and you smiled against his lips. After a beautiful moment, he pulled back and sighed. “But no matter how much I like it, we still have to go to work.” You groaned as he kissed your stomach once more and he got up and pulled you into his chest. “I love you.” He mumbled into your hair as he walked you backwards toward the closet.

“I love you too… father of our child.” You looked up at him with a smile and a single tear rolled from his eye. He gave you a chaste kiss before pulling away and getting dressed.

—— 

“So we need to talk.” Jax said as the two of you walked into Gemma’s office the moment you pulled into the lot.

“Does it involve money, guns or the club?” She asked as she flipped through some papers on her desk as you shut the door.

“No it does not… grandma.” Gemma’s eyes shot wide open as she looked up at her son.

“No!” She said as a giant smile crossed her face. “Really?” She asked as she looked over at you.

“Took the test this morning and you’re the first to know.” You said as Jax put his arms around your shoulder. She tossed the papers in her hands on the desk and screamed. She jumped up and wrapped the two of you in a hug and cried.

“Oh, this is the greatest day…”

“Everything OK in here?” Clay asked as he looked into the office. Gemma looked and him and nodded vigorously. 

“We’re gunna be grandparents!” His face lit up with a smile and you had a brief moment where you realized that you couldn’t recall really ever seeing him smile before. 

“Hey! Congratulations!” He pulled you and Jax in for a hug before stepping back to look at you, his smile gone again. “You, darlin’ are on modified shop duty. Help the boys, simple fixes, helping Gemma in the office, shit like that. One full hour mandatory lunch break because I know how you are. If I see or hear about you under a car in the next nine months, I’ll fire you until the baby comes; we clear?”

“Yes sir.” You giggled and he nodded and looked at Gemma.

“Does this mean we are getting old?” She shrugged and stepped up to his side.

“We may be getting old but we are still young where it counts.” Your stomach turned and Jax fake gagged.

“And we’re gunna go throw up now.” Jax said as he pushed you out toward the shop. You took a few steps away from the door and shuttered.

“I think I need brain bleach for that mental image.” You muttered.

“I don’t even think that would help.” You took the liberty of grabbing a stool and dragging it over to the car you were originally going to be working that day and sat down as Chibs walked over. 

“What’s got ‘er knickers in a twist?” He asked as he gestured toward the office.

“Oh God, shut up; you’re gunna make me sick.” You teased.

“She’s just excited to get a grandkid s’all.”

“Hey! No shit, congratulations ye’s guys.” He said as he shook Jax’s hand. “Wat’chew want; lass or a lad?”

“Boy.” You both said at the same time as Jax got to work on the car.

“Aye, wee little lad tinkerin’ about; beautiful thing, lassie.” He said as he kissed your forehead. He headed back to work as Jax moved the car onto the lift. You tilted your head to the side as he grabbed tools and looked at him.

“Care if we do Thomas Eric if it’s a boy?” He paused for a moment before looking up at you.

“Where is Eric coming from?”

“My dad’s middle name.”

“Thomas Eric Teller… Yea, I can handle that.” He smiled and gave you a chaste kiss before heading over to the car. “What about if it’s a girl?” You shrugged, kicked your feet against the stool and leaned on the tool box.

“Well, my mother’s name was Sophie and that kinda makes me want to throw up so that’s a no. I like the name Emily…”

“I know a croweater named Emily…” He said and you shook your head.

“Don’t like the name Emily. I don’t know, I’ll get a book for the girls name.” You heard Gemma call out your name from the office and you jumped off the stool. “I’ve been summoned.” He laughed as you headed across the garage and into the office just as Gemma was getting off the phone. 

“I have an appointment with my OB/GYN for you next Wednesday afternoon. Now, I know there is some stuff in my old storage unit you are more than welcome too and Clay and I will help with absolutely anything you and Jax need.”

“Mom, you didn’t need too…”

“Oh, stop. You only get to be a grandmother for the first time, once. Let me.” You smiled as she gestured to the seat across the desk from her and started looking through papers. “Now, I have an appointment of my own and I could really use your help in here. If you could do me a huge favor and organize the shit people keep piling on my desk, I can show you how to put it into the computer when I get back.” You nodded as she grabbed her bag and stood up from her desk with a proud smile. “I am so happy for the two of you. This will be so good for you.” She came around and gave you a quick kiss before strolling out of her office. With a sigh you got up and took her chair and began figuring out the tornado that landed before you.

—— 

“Something’s off about today.” You told Jax as the two of you were getting ready for the day a week later. He pulled on a button up flannel and looked at you with concern.

“Something with the baby?” He asked and you shook your head as you pulled on a Teller-Morrow shop t-shirt over your jeans.

“No, there’s like this weird energy.” Jax shrugged and threw on his kutte.

“Maybe it’s a pregnancy thing?” You shrugged as you grabbed your boots and sat down on the bed.

“Who knows. I have that doctors appointment this afternoon so I’ll see what the guy says.”

“I hate that I’m not going with you.” He said as he headed toward the bathroom to brush his teeth.

“You got club business, babe; I get that.”

“Not the point.” He muttered around a mouthful of toothpaste. You headed into the bathroom and looked at him in the mirror with a smile.

“I know it’s not but it is what it is. I don’t think the Sixers or whatever would be willing to wait around for this deal while SAMCRO’s VP is at his wife’s baby appointment. There will be more you can go to.” He spit out his toothpaste and wiped his mouth off with his sleeve.

“The Niners” he corrected “are never gunna know my old lady is even pregnant if I have anything to say about it.” He said as he gave you a chaste kiss. “Come on, or I’ll be late.” 

—— 

You weren’t in the office for an hour before your bad feeling became reality when ATF and Charming police and sheriffs stormed the lot. You felt a brief moment of panic and suddenly a deputy stormed into the office with his gun drawn at you.

“Let’s go. Out here, on the ground.” He grabbed your arm and ripped you from your chair and you stumbled when your foot caught on the leg of the desk. “Let’s go, hands up!” He shouted as he shoved you once more and you put your hands up.

“Alright, fuck. I’m going, Jesus.” You bit your lip as every fiber of your being told you to fight but you forced yourself out of the garage and into the lot.

“On your stomach.” The man shouted as he shoved you hard enough to cause you to stumble and you saw red. You turned around to swing when Jax screamed ‘baby’ and you froze just in time.

“Fucking lucky.” You told him as you got on to your stomach and found your husband across the parking lot. He had his hands on the back of his head and he mouthed for you to breathe. You took a deep breath in and exhaled as a pair of shiny black shoes and slick black dress pants stood directly in between you and Jax. You squinted up against the sunlight at the man who was holding a single sheet of paper. He looked down at you with a cocky smirk and nodded his head once.

“I got lucky with ATF raiding these guys. You’re a tough woman to find…” He said as he turned the paper for you to see your Arkansas mugshot. “…Ms. Winchester. Cuff her.” Your stomach dropped as the officer happily shoved his knee between your shoulders and cuffed you.

“Get the fuck off me you piece of shit!” You screamed as you fought to get the guy off your back. It took him a moment to get the cuffs fastened entirely too tight around your wrists before he yanked you too your feet. The man looked you over and looked back down at your mugshot.

“My name is special agent Victor Henrikson. You see Ms. Winchester…”

“It’s Teller.” You snapped but the man ignored you and continued loud enough where everyone in the parking lot was sure to hear him.

“…I know all about you, Sam and Dean. I know you are murderer and a kidnapper. I know about the murder’s your brothers committed…”

“You don’t know shit, pig.” You couldn’t stop yourself if you wanted to as you spit in his face. He stopped talking and sighed. With a small shake of his head, he pulled out a handkerchief and wiped off his face casually before returning the white cotton to his pocket. Before he continued; however, he hauled back and punched you in the stomach just below your rib cage. Pain, radiated throughout your body as you collapsed to your knees on the ground, coughing and bent over double. You could hear Jax fighting with another cop and screaming with the rest of the SAMCRO crew as Henrikson crouched down next to you and continued.

“I made it my job to learn all about your backwards ass family. I know about Sam and his barbecued girlfriend. I know about your wack job, ex-marine pop. I know all about you, Ms. Winchester, but what I don’t know is where your brothers are. And I want you to tell me.” You stayed silent and curled your hands into fists behind your back as your thoughts immediately went to the safety of your child. You looked over at Jax who was now only a couple feet away from you being held down to the pavement with a cop kneeling on his back and another with his knee on his head and a gun pointed at his forehead.

“Even if I knew where my brothers were, I wouldn’t tell you shit.” You said without taking your eyes off Jax. Henrikson sighed and shook his head.

“Well if that’s the case, maybe I’ll throw your little lover in the cage for a night and see if that helps the bird squawk in the morning then.” You laughed through your pain as he moved to stand up and he froze as you looked at him with a smug grimace from your still bent over position.

“You lay another fucking finger on my husband and I will bury you in court cases for the rest of your fucking life. You just punched a pregnant woman in the stomach in a yard full of witnesses you asshat! And you’re threatening me with a case that was closed for insufficient evidence five plus years ago. 

I don’t know who the fuck you THINK you are but I can fucking promise you this. You will never find Sam and Dean Winchester. Fuck, I’m their sister and I couldn’t find them if I wanted to because that’s how good they are. I also haven’t spoken to them since my father passed away six months ago. Now… take your empty threats and your fucking bullshit and kick rocks mother fucker or I’ll have my lawyer so far up your ass with paperwork, your head will pop off from the pressure.” Henrikson blanched as his eyes darted down to your stomach for half a second before looking back at your eyes.

“Now, can you get these fucking handcuffs off me and let my husband take me to the hospital to find out if you just fucking murdered our child or not?” He didn’t move for a second as he let his brain wrap around what you just said before he nodded and gestured to the cops that had Jax pinned to the ground. It was only seconds before your cuffs were off and Jax was lifting you up off the ground.

“Keys!” He shouted to no one in particular as you grit your teeth and curled into the pain in his arms.

“In my truck” one of the mechanics called out and Jax turned to Henrikson.

“You’re lucky as fuck I have bigger problems right now. Come near my wife again…” He threatened before turning on his heel and storming toward the truck. He laid you down gently on the seat and you curled into a ball as he ran to the other side. “Hang on, babe. I got you.” He said as he ripped out of the parking lot and sped toward the hospital.

~~~~~ LATE MAY 2008~~~~~ 

“No, this isn’t right.” You growled as you tried to maneuver pillows and blankets around you to get comfortable at nearly 8 months pregnant. You were hot and tired and under normal circumstances, you were perfectly capable of falling asleep on Jax this far along… but he was away on club business for a few days and left you with the new prospect. 

“What can I do?” The guy they dubbed Half-Sack asked as he did his best on ‘baby watch’ to make you as comfortable as possible in your husband’s absence. You scowled and threw a pillow at him. 

“Just… fuck! Get me Jax!” You groaned as you rolled over in the queen sized bed that felt way too big for only you. “Fuck this. Just help me up.” Half-Sack ran around to the other side of the bed, grabbed your hands and pulled. When you were up right, you groaned and heaved yourself off the bed. “When are they getting back?” You asked as you walked past the prospect toward the living room angrily.

“I-I think today.” You flopped down on the leather couch in the living room and immediately regretted it as the leather stuck to your skin but couldn’t force yourself to get up.

“I know you have a smoke and if you give me one and don’t tell Jax, I will put in a great word for you.” Sack looked at you hesitantly and you scowled. “Don’t give me the speech; one cigarette won’t hurt.” A knock at the door saved him from having to make a choice and he dashed off to get it before you could chew him out. You hadn’t been this cranky at all your entire pregnancy but on two days of no sleep and your son trying to karate kick his way out of your belly button; you hated everyone and everything.

“Umm… there are some guys here to see you. Looks like cops.” Sack said as he stepped back into the living room. You groaned and pushed yourself off the couch.

“They better pray they aren’t.” You grumbled as you walked toward the door. You made it three steps before you froze and a wave of relief washed over you. “Oh, there is a God.”

“Well hello baby.” Dean said as he stepped into the house in his fed suit and looked at your giant stomach. “Who’s the new guy?”

“MC Prospect. You can head out, Sack. They got it from here.” The kid looked at you nervously and shook his head.

“Jax told me…” You nodded and glared at him.

“And I’m telling you can go. I’ll give you an A+ on your report card. Now get out of my house.” He grabbed his keys off the table and dashed past your brothers and Sam looked at you curiously.

“What’s all that about?” You sighed.

“Jax is out of town so kids’ been on ‘baby duty’ until he gets back. I am so glad you are both here though because one of you just became my new body pillow!”

“Whoa! I did not agree to this!” Dean said as you grabbed his hand and headed toward the bedroom.

“Don’t care. You two need to explain how you found me and what you are doing here and I haven’t slept in two days without Jax. Two birds, one stone. Plus, I’m your baby sister and you love me.” You turned around and looked at your brother pleadingly with the biggest puppy eyes you could muster and Dean sighed. 

“Alright, fine. Awkward, but fine.” You sighed gratefully as you climbed on the bed with Dean reluctantly right behind you. Sam chuckled and went to grab a chair from the living room.

“So, how did you find me?” You asked as you wiggled around to find the most comfortable position to get even a couple hours of sleep in. Dean chuckled.

“I had Bobby put a GPS on dad’s truck before he gave it to you just in case.” You shook your head against Dean’s chest as Sam came back and sat by the bed to talk.

“You guys are assholes.” You said as you found a comfortable position to be in for the first time in days.

“OK. WHY are you here?” Sam glanced up at Dean before looking back at you.

“We… well, we need your help.” You snorted and pointed at your stomach.

“Yea… that’s not happening for another couple months.” 

“Yea, I can see that… Why didn’t you call and tell us?” Dean asked. You stayed silent for a moment as you looked at your brother and sighed.

“I didn’t know what to say after dad… Then this happened and… It’s not like I didn’t want to. But a week after I found out, some fed found me at the lot during an ATF raid and threatened to throw Jax in the hole so I would tell him where you were…”

“Wait, what fed? Henrikson?” Sam inquired and you nodded.

“He had my Arkansas mugshot and punched me in the stomach. We have had ATF down our throats ever since and I figured calling you guys was just asking for trouble.”

“Well Henrikson is dead. Lilith did him in before Sam got to Lilith.” You glanced up at your brother in confusion.

“Who the fuck is Lilith?”

“First demon Lucifer made. She’s dead now but… well that’s why we are here.” You looked at Sam and your stomach turned.

“What did you two idiots just bring to my fucking front door?” You demanded as you pushed yourself into a seated position and put your hands over your stomach protectively. Sam looked down and Dean sighed.

“Lucifer is out of his cage.”

—— 

“So you’re telling me Lucifer, THE Lucifer is not only out of his cage but roaming about the country like it’s a fucking STREET FAIR!” You screamed as you looked back and forth between your brothers in your living room. “AND, not only that, but Dean spent four months in hell and no one bothered to let ME know that he was even dead, Sam has a demon blood addiction that’s currently under control KINDA and we have a half brother that dad didn’t tell us about… am I forgetting anything?” You snapped rhetorically. 

“We’re supposed to be vessels…” Dean chimed in. You grabbed a pillow; the closest thing to you and chucked it at his head. He ducked and it sent a vase careening to the floor.

“You two are bigger fucking idiots than I thought. And how dare you…” Your shouting was cut off as Jax slammed open the front door with his gun drawn in his left hand and his right holding his left shoulder.

“What the fuck is going on?” He demanded.

“Put the fucking gun down Jax… you leave me again when I’m fucking pregnant and I will sick these two knuckleheads on your ass if fucking Lucifer doesn’t get them first.” You said as you jabbed your finger towards your brothers. Jax, who couldn’t see the two visitors looked completely lost as he kicked the front door closed.

“Me? Why the fuck are you yelling at me for?! I told you I was going out of town. I left the Prospect here to help you and then I get a phone call that two cops show up and you booted him out. So tell me what the fuck is going on.”

“It’s fucking Sam and Dean!” You said as you shoved yourself off the couch with a scowl. “I can handle my own, Jackson. I didn’t need that kid up my ass the last two days.” He set his gun down on the table by the door and stormed into the living room with only a glance at your brothers who looked a little frightened of your screaming match.

“I know you can handle yourself but I’m not leaving my pregnant wife alone when we are dealing with some huge shit…”

“Oooo. Big bad biker men are gunna come after me! You know what, I fucking dare them to tango with my ass right now. I’m so emotional I’ll strangle them with my fucking bare hands! And you did leave me alone, asshole!” You snapped as you went to storm past him and you finally noticed the blood on his right hand. You instantly softened and stopped in front of him. “Jax… baby, what did you do?” You reached up and gently moved his hand.

“Long story but I got shot.” You glanced up at him and sighed.

“De, bring me the first aid kit from the Impala.” You said gently as you pointed toward the hall to the bathroom. The three men hesitated at your 180 in attitude and it took a simple look at your brother before they moved. Within a few minutes, you were kneeling on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet between your husband’s knees digging a bullet out of his shoulder as your brothers made themselves at home in the living room.

“I’m sorry.” You said as you dropped the bullet on the floor and grabbed the needle to stitch up his shoulder. “I’m just…”

“Pregnant, hormonal, tired and still fucking gorgeous.” You looked up at him with tears in your eyes and he gave you a chaste kiss and leaned his forehead against yours. “I won’t leave again like that again, I promise.” You nodded and sat back to finish what you were doing.

“I can’t sleep without you right now and it’s been miserable.” You said as you stitched as quickly as you could and he gripped your hip and grit his teeth against the pain. You nodded and soothed him as best as you could as you tied off the last suture. “Last bit.” You told him as you grabbed and showed him the whiskey bottle and he nodded as you poured the amber liquid on his wound.

“How… shit that sucks… how did you learn how to do this?” He asked as you grabbed clean gauze and taped him up.

“Dad. He learned in the Marines and he taught us when we were kids. You get beat to shit almost daily as a hunter and it’s kinda hard to make up stories that are believable when hospital staff ask why you have werewolf gashes across your back or a dozen different knife wounds in various stages of healing.” You sat back on your heels and shrugged your shoulders. “I learned to stitch before I learned how to ride a bike. That’s ‘normal’ in our family.” He shook his head and rested his bloody hands on your stomach.

“Well, right now I appreciate not having to go to the hospital for the night.” He leaned forward and gave you a kiss and all the stress and anger you felt the past two days melted away. He pulled back an inch, cupped your cheek gently and brushed his thumb across your cheek. “Hi babe. I missed you.” You smiled and huffed.

“I missed you.” You put your hand over his on your stomach and moved them both to the spot Thomas had been kicking an hour before. “So did he; been kicking up a storm since yesterday.”

“Seems pretty still right now.” He said as he sat back and focused on your stomach. You smirked.

“In my book that’s a little miracle at the moment. Just poke at him, he’ll kick back.” Jax shook his head and looked up at you with a smile.

“Nah. I’ll give mama a break.” 

“Well thank you for that… but you gotta help me up. My knees are killing me and I gotta deal with the shit show that just got dropped on our door step.”

“What happened now?” Jax asked as he stood up and pulled you too your feet. You groaned and stretched a little as you toed the first aid kit closed.

“Long story. Dean died again, Sam was dating a demon sort of and Lucifer is out of his cage.” You pulled off your blood splattered t-shirt and tossed it in the corner as Jax picked up the first aid kit.

“Is that like a dog or something?” He asked and you shook your head as you kicked off your sweatpants and grabbed a tank top and a pair of his boxers.

“Oh no, THE Lucifer. Like the devil himself.” Jax looked at you questioningly as you sat on the bed and he helped you put on his boxers.

“How in the hell…”

“Yes, that’s what I’ve been wondering as well.” You spun around on the bed toward the unfamiliar British voice and a man you had never seen before smirked at you. “Hello darling.”

“Sam!” You screeched as you tried to scramble off the bed. Jax lunged toward the intruder who disappeared in the blink of an eye.

“You know that’s not very polite, darling. I’m simply here to help.” The man said from directly behind you as Sam and Dean stormed into your bedroom with guns drawn. Jax grabbed your arm and ripped you away from the stranger.

“Get out of my house!” Jax screamed.

“Whoa!” Dean shouted as he lowered his gun and raised his hands. You grabbed your husband’s arm and backed up against the closet door as you stared at the still smirking man. “Dude! You cannot just show up here!” Dean said to the man.

“Who is this guy?” Jax shouted and you looked around his body.

“Better question is, what?” You said as you looked him over. He had on a crisp black suit and held a glass of what you assumed was liquor in his hand.

“My apologies, love; where are my manners. Name’s Crowley, darling. Former King of the Crossroads, present King of Hell.” You gasped as his eyes turned blood red for a second before returning to brown.

“Get him out of my house.” You demanded as you ducked back around Jax and glared over at Sam.

“I am simply here…” You grabbed a metal statue that Gemma had bought you off the windowsill and chucked it across the room, catching Crowley off guard; it hit him square in the face. The next thing you knew you were pinned six inches off the floor against the far wall of the bedroom by the head of the bed. You struggled against an invisible force as Crowley appeared directly in front of you. “Now… if you weren’t with child, I would filet the skin off your bones for a stunt like that; however, since you are, I will forgive this little outburst. I should expect nothing left from a Winchester.” He spat.

“Crowley, put her down!” Dean demanded and you looked up. He appeared to be frozen in place; poised as if he was trying to run to you. With a flick of Crowley’s wrist, you fell to the floor and he was back across the room.

“Get out!” Jax shouted as he rushed in front of you and glared at the three men. “I don’t care what you have to fight. I don’t give a shit what you think you need from (Y/N), I want you out of my house and out of fucking Charming. Do not come near my wife or my son again.” 

“You can’t make that call!” Dean shouted and you nodded as you pulled yourself upright with Jax’s arm.

“Sorry but he just did. I don’t know what you two have stepped in to but after that bullshit…” You said as you pointed at Crowley. “… I can tell you, without a shadow of doubt in my mind, that I want no fucking part of it. I’m out. I have a family that I need to look out for. This is not my fight and I will not be dragged into your stupidity.” Your brothers stared at you completely lost for words as you clung to Jax for protection. 

“Well then. I will find you boys later.” Crowley said before he vanished. You paused for a moment to see if he would return before you stepped out from behind your husband. 

“I want dad’s journal now. I know he has those protection symbols in there.”

“(Y/N)…”

“Now, Sam.” You demanded, interrupting your brother. He looked over at Dean who shook his head and pulled the leather journal from his inside jacket pocket and tossed it on your bed.

“You’re unbelievable.” He spat before turning and storming out of your room. You looked at Sam and shook your head as tears welled in your eyes.

“How could you bring this to me, Sam?”

“(Y/N) this is big. The apocalypse is coming; end of the world. We figured we would come and try to get you to help. If I had known you were pregnant I never would have come here.”

“Well you just put a target on my family’s back by doing so because my guess is, if Lucifer thinks you’re his vessel you’re being monitored by demons. And if they didn’t know you had a sister; a weakness, they do now.” He sighed and shook his head as you walked to the bed and grabbed your dad’s journal.

“Do you trust me?” He asked. You looked up from the book and your brow furrowed.

“Of course I trust you but that doesn’t mean…” He shook his head and held up his hand to stop you.

“We have an angel on our side; Cas. Can I call him and have him do the warding. That way at least we all can feel a little better knowing that you’re safe here. Nothing will be able to get to you.” You looked over at Jax for a moment to gauge his reaction and sighed.

“Yea, fine.” He nodded and pulled out his phone as Jax walked up to you and put his hands on your arms.

“Are you OK, babe?” You nodded as Sam gave someone your address and the sound of wings filled your bedroom for a second.

“I’m here now.” A deep voice said. You looked over at the new man who appeared in your room and instinctively stood up behind Jax. The man looked over at you with a furrowed brow and adjusted the tan trench coat he wore as he hung up the phone. “There is no need to fear me, (Y/N). I am here to help.”

“We just want them warded.” Sam told him. Cas nodded and raised his hand. A bright white light emitted from his palm and you closed your eyes and looked away.

“This may hurt a little.” Cas said directly in front of you and you turned and looked at him as he laid a hand on both your and Jax’s chest. You suddenly felt a blast of warmth and a punch to your chest and you stumbled back slightly and gripped your husbands arm. “The child.” Cas said as he reached for your stomach and you quickly side stepped out of his reach.

“Hey, it’s OK!” Sam said as he moved to where you could see him. “It’s Enochian warding. It’s a signal that is carved into your ribs preventing all angels from being able to find you.”

“It won’t harm Thomas.” Cas said. You glanced up at Jax who shrugged before looking back at Cas. With a small nod, you stepped back into Cas’ reach and he laid his hands on your stomach. You grabbed Jax’s arm as you felt the same warm heat before your son jerked in your stomach. Cas kept his hands where they were a moment longer before he pulled back and looked at you with an emotionless expression. “He is to do great things in this world.” He said. With a look over his shoulder at Sam, he nodded before he disappeared with the sound of wings.

“You guys are all set.” Sam said as he turned to head out the door. You called out his name and he turned around to look at you as you walked over to him.

“I’m sorry. I wish I could help but I can’t.” He nodded as you grabbed the first aid kit and the journal and handed them to him.

“I’m sorry we didn’t call sooner.” He replied as he pulled you in for a hug. “I’m happy for you.”

“Be careful, Sam. We’ve lost dad, I don’t want to lose you or Dean, too.” He nodded and kissed the top of your head before pulling away.

“I love you, sis. Don’t ever forget that.”

“I love you too, Sammy.” Sam looked up at Jax and gave a quick nod before heading out. You stood frozen in place as you watched him leave and when the front door closed behind him, Jax pulled you in for a hug as your tears began to fall.


	6. Chapter 6

~~~~~ JUNE 23RD 2008~~~~~~~~ 

“He looks so tiny.” You said as Jax slowly ambled around the hospital room with your newborn son in his harm. His smile got impossibly bigger as he looked up at you with tears in his eyes.

“He is so tiny.” He looked back down at his son and brushed his finger along the little boy’s arm. He strolled over to the chair as Thomas instinctively grabbed his finger and opened his beautiful (Y/E/C) eyes. “Hey buddy… I don’t know how to break this to ya, kid… but I’m your old man.” You hummed and laid back against the bed as you watched the love of your life fall in love. Out of no where, you got this wave of unease and your brow furrowed.

“Something’s wrong.” You said as you tried to place the feeling.

“How could anything be wrong? Look at him.” Jax said as he looked up at you. You simply shook your head and looked up at the ceiling.

“I don’t know… but something’s off.” Your husband got off the chair, walked over to you and sat down on the bed with a smile.

“Well babe, whatever it is we can deal with it later.”

—— 

“Are you sure it’s buckled in right, babe?” Jax asked almost nervously as you slid across the backseat of the Honda CR-V you had bought. You looked up at him and laughed as he continued to fiddle with the straps of the carseat.

“Jax; take us home. Chibs put the seat base in AND had it checked by Unser… twice. It’s fine.”

“Yea, that’s what I’m worried about.” He said as he stood up straight and looked at the car seat. He hesitated for a moment as he looked at his little boy and he smiled up at you. “We made that.” He said as he pointed at Thomas. You giggled as you looked at your sleeping baby and nodded.

“Yea we did. Now we just gotta not fuck him up.” Jax laughed as he shut the back door to the car and got into the driver seat.

“You think we can handle it?” He asked as he carefully backed out of the parking spot and you shrugged as you ran the tip of your finger down Thomas’ nose.

“I mean… he has a biker for a daddy and a hunter for a mommy. Both of us are relatively fucked up so I think he has a 50-50 chance.” Jax chuckled and glanced at you in the rearview mirror as he stopped at a red light and you smiled at him. “I love you.”

“I love you too, babe. And thank you.” Your brow furrowed as the light turned green.

“Thanks for what?” He smirked and glanced up at you once more.

“You just pushed our kid out of your pussy for me. That didn’t even remotely look like a good time.” You laughed and shook your head as you looked back down at your son.

“Yea, not even close. and he’s the only one you’re getting because of that so enjoy it while it lasts.” As you pulled down the road to your house, you saw the cul-de-sac lined with motorcycles and you shook your head. “Good old mom.” You said with a laugh as Jax pulled into the driveway.

“Hey, we like to party.” Jax said as he got out of the car. He opened the back door and grabbed your bags as you picked up your sleeping child out of the car seat. He helped you out of the car and guided you toward your house with his hand on the small of your back. “Welcome home, Thomas.” He said as he opened the door and your family cheered for the newest member of the SAMCRO family.

——

You were sitting in your room hours later rocking your son to sleep when the wave of unease you felt the day Thomas was born came back. Your brow furrowed as you tried to place the feeling when there was a knock at the door. As fluidly as you could, you got up from the bed and pulled the door open to find your oldest brother standing there.

“Hey Button…” He said softly as you let him into the room.

“Hey! When did you guys get here?” Dean shrugged as he gave to a gentle hug and you gestured to your side of the bed.

“Just pulled in… (Y/N)… I gotta…” You looked up at his exhausted, tear filled emerald green eyes and your stomach dropped. You shook your head rapidly as tears filled your eyes.

“Where’s Sam?” You choked as you and your brother began to cry.

“We tried, Button… we tried to find another way but we couldn’t…” You held your son to your chest as Dean wrapped you in a hug.

“Oh, Sammy…” You whispered as you gave the only other remaining Winchester a one armed hug. The two of you sat and cried for a while before you forced yourself to pull away to look at Dean. “OK… t-tell me what happened.” Dean told you everything; Detroit, the angels taking, using, and essentially murdering your half brother, Adam, Sam’s jump into the cage and the promise he made your brother. 

After an hour, he had cried himself into an exhausted sleep. With a sad sigh, you laid Thomas in his bassinet, pulled off Dean’s boots and jacket, grabbed the baby monitor and left the room. Your house was empty and you mentally thanked Gemma for thinking you must have fallen asleep. You grabbed a pack of cigarettes someone had left behind and went out onto your front steps. Silent tears streamed down your cheeks as you smoked and mourned the loss of your best friend. About an hour later, Jax pulled up on his bike and you realized you hadn’t even noticed he was missing.

“Where did you go?” You choked and his face fell immediately.

“Club thing… what’s wrong?” You shook your head as a sob escaped and you dropped your cigarette as he ran across the yard to pull you into his arms.

“Sam…” You sobbed as you buried your face in his shirt. He gripped you even tighter and you felt a tear hit your cheek. He didn’t ask any questions as you pulled away and sat back down on the steps; he simply put his arm around you and pulled you to his side. After a while, Thomas began to fuss and you sighed. “We need to get those boxes out of the guest room tomorrow; Dean’s gunna stay with us for a while.”

“Sure babe. Anything you need?” You shook your head and put your cigarette out on the stairs.

“My brother back.”

~~~~~~HALLOWEEN 2008~~~~~~~ 

“So I’ll call you later, Karen.” Dean said as he stopped in the kitchen entryway by the front door with nothing but his low waisted jeans on. You glanced over at him and the startled and offended blonde he was hugging.

“It’s Carrie.” You snorted a laugh and recovered quickly with a cough as you checked the contents of your diaper bag. Dean rushed the girl out the door with apologies for his ‘embarrassing little sister’ and the second the door closed behind the blonde, you lost it.

“Shut up.” Dean said as he came back into your kitchen and you tossed some formula into your diaper bag.

“Why do you give them false hope, De?” You asked as you refilled a bottle of water and added it to the bag as well.

“It’s not false hope if they are hopeless to begin with.” You shook your head and looked at your four month old in his car seat on the counter next to you.

“I should have made you a player for Halloween like Uncle Dean, baby boy.” You cooed as he happily waved his limbs and Dean hummed in his coffee.

“Did you get his costume done already?” He asked as he stepped over to look at his nephew. You nodded and stepped to the side.

“Big bad biker baby just like his daddy.” You said as you adjusted the cotton kutte you had made. Dean smiled as he picked Thomas up out of the car seat.

“No, say we are not gunna be a big bad biker boy… we are gunna work on classic cars like Uncle Dean.” He said in baby talk as he bounced around the kitchen.

“Speaking of working on cars, why are you not at work?”

“Day off. Pulled in too much over time last week fixing that Mustang so Gemma had to cut my hours a day.” He said without even looking at you. You smiled as you picked up the diaper bag.

“So what are you gunna do with the day?” you asked as you pulled down the “Prospect” kutte on Thomas’ back and took him from Dean.

“Well, since I’ve been driving the truck, I’m gunna put a little work into it since you just let it go…” You laughed as you put your son in his chair.

“Yea yea. Wasn’t allowed under a car while I was pregnant and then I had a child to keep alive so the truck took a back seat to the baby and my shiny new mom car.” You teased as you slung the diaper bag over your shoulder. “Alright. Well have fun and don’t get oil on my driveway again. Change that shit in the road.” He saluted you from behind his coffee.

“Where you goin’?” You smirked at him as you grabbed the car seat.

“Show off the Halloween costume at the club then I have to go bring Tommy to his first porn set.”

“Oh shit! Take me with you!”

“Nope, you’re fixing my truck.” You called out as you headed out the door.

“You’re a horrible sister!”

—— 

“So, you guys have a new prospect.” You told Jax, Chibs and Tig as you lifted Thomas out of the car seat.

“Oh, my God, babe… did you make this?” Jax asked as he took his son from you. You nodded and pulled the kutte together over the plaid mock button down onesie he had on.

“He’s a big bad biker boy like daddy for Halloween.” The guys laughed as they read the hand written patches on the front.

“Teller Original; I like that.” “Child of Mischief.” “Baby V.P. ‘e’s taking your job, Jackie boy.”

“Babe, that’s adorable.”

“Wait, you haven’t seen the cutest part!” You reached out and pulled up his pants leg to show them the ‘Mom’ heart tattoo you had drawn in non-toxic washable marker.

“Well, now it’s official. Someone get this kid a beer.” Tig said as you fixed Thomas’ jeans.

“What are you guys all standin’ around for? We shit to do.” Clay said as he walked into the club.

“Hey Clay, we got a new prospect.” Jax called out as you stepped to the side. Clay laughed as he looked at the little kutte on his grandson.

“Guess he just needs a bike then. Tell Half-Sack he’s been demoted.” Clay joked as he tickled his grandson’s stomach. 

“Alright, give me the prospect. Mama has shit to do today, too.” You said as you grabbed your son.

“Where you goin’?” Jax asked as he kissed the top of Thomas’ head.

“Gotta go pick up some shit from Luann for Gemma at Caracara.”

“You’re taking a baby to a porn set?” Tig asked and you shrugged as you buckled the straps of the car seat.

“I’m a responsible parent, what can I say?” You teased. You gave Jax a chaste kiss and said goodbye to everyone else as you headed out the door. 

As the sunlight hit your skin, you had the sudden, very brief feeling that you were being watched. You glanced out of the parking lot as you headed to your car. You couldn’t see anyone so you shrugged it off as you put the car seat in the base. Out of habit, you rolled down your window as you pulled out of the lot and headed the hour out of town to the warehouse SAMCRO had lent out for their new business venture. 

As you pulled up to a stop sign only a couple blocks away from the Teller-Morrow lot, a man on a motorcycle pulled up directly in front of your car. The two of you froze for only a half a second as he looked at the tattoo on your bare shoulder and you looked at the Mayan kutte he was wearing.

“Fuck.” You shouted as you threw your car into reverse. You heard your windshield shatter and Thomas began screaming from the sound in the backseat. You refused to panic as gunshots rang out in front of you. You grabbed the sunscreen you never used from the floorboard and held in front of you as any kind of protection while gunning it backwards down the deserted street.

“Keep crying, baby boy. It’s OK.” You soothed as the gun fire stopped. You dropped the shade, whipped your car around and raced back to the lot. Adrenaline coursed through your veins and your hands shook as you begged God to let your son be safe. You whipped into the parking lot just as the guys were walking our of the club and threw your gun hole riddled car into park.

“Babe?” Jax called out as you jumped out of the front seat to get to Thomas. You could barely get the straps unbuckled your hands shook so bad and your tears stung the back of your eyes when you saw your unharmed son.

“Get her inside!” Clay shouted as you clutched your screaming child to your shaking body. You hardly registered your feet moving as you were rushed into the club and into your old room.

“Mayan’s.” You told Jax as he wrapped you and his son in his arms. “It was a Mayan guy. Stopped in front of me and just started shooting. If I saw him again, I’d recognize him.” Jax growled as he stepped back and looked you over.

“I’ll get Chibs to patch up your shoulder.” He said as he turned toward the door. You glanced down at the blood on your right shoulder and shook your head. You didn’t even feel the bullet hit you.

“They alright?” Clay asked and Jax nodded as he stepped out into the hall.

“Jax.” You called before he walked away and you could see pure rage in his eyes. “I know you want revenge but that shot is mine and you know it. No one shoots at my son.” Jax balked and you shook your head. “No. It's my shot.”

“We’ll put it to a vote.”

—— 

“That’s him.” You said as you tapped your nail on Juice’s computer screen as Chibs, the lovely club medic cleaned up the spot where the bullet just grazed you.

“You sure?” Juice asked and you nodded as you read the name; Jose Rodriguez.

“100%. I’ll never forget that face.”

“Babe, let me…” Jax said as he held his finally sleeping son to his chest. You shook your head as Chibs taped off the last side of gauze and pat your back.

“Nope. Y’all voted; it’s mine. Mama is fucking pissed.” You said as you walked over and looked at your innocent child. 

“Fucking bullshit.” He grumbled. You knew he wanted to be the one to get revenge on the man that shot at his family; you could see it written all over his face. But there was a part of you, be it the protective mother, be it the hunter in you that told you if it wasn’t you behind the trigger, that this would haunt you for a long time. It would be just like the hunting cases that got botched when you were a teen; a nightmare that never seemed to end. You heard the low rumble of the Impala Dean had to pull out of the garage outside and you sighed.

“We’ll talk about this at home.” He shook his head, obviously annoyed and headed out to the parking lot.

“What the hell happened?” Dean asked as the three of you walked outside. You followed his eyes to your car and simply shook your head.

“Don’t worry about it; we are fine. Thanks for picking us up.” Dean turned back to look at you and his eyes immediately fell on the white gauze square on your shoulder. “Don’t ask. I won’t tell you anyways.” You told him. He scowled as you went over to your ruined car and grabbed the car seat and your bag. Once you got situated in the Impala and your three person protection detail was set up, Dean drove back to the house silently with an obvious disapproving scowl on his face. You looked over at him and sighed.

“Obviously I got shot at. Don’t know who, don’t know why and you know if I did, I wouldn’t be able to tell you anyways.”

“Yea, stupidest fucking rule I’ve ever heard. Why…”

“De, it’s the same thing with hunting! We don’t talk about what is real in the world with non-hunters to protect them. That’s the case here as well. So please stop asking questions I can’t give you an answer to! I’m not keeping shit from you on purpose; I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.” Dean softened a bit at your explanation and glanced over at you.

“Are you at least allowed to tell me if you’re OK?” You looked over at him with your best bitch face and he held up his hands and chuckled. “OK, OK!”

“I’m fine, De. Bullet just grazed me. Dude was a shit shot.” You turned fully on the seat with a small smile. “You know what I am grateful for? You and dad teaching me how to shoot. I was always a really good shot…”

“Except that time you shot dad in the arm.” You laughed at the memory.

“Hey, it was his fault for moving when I was shooting. Better than that time Sammy almost took off your head with the machete.”

“Man, I forgot about that! I still owe him for that. Remember that time I accidentally punched you in the face?” You pouted as you finally turned down your street.

“That was no accident and I still owe you for that.”  
—— 

“I need you to tell me everything.” You told Jax as the two of you stood in the nursery looking at your sleeping four month old. Your husband didn’t say anything and you looked up at him expectantly. “Jax… I need to know why you have been distant and I need to know what I’m up against…”

“No, you don’t. I can protect my family.” He turned away from the crib and walked out of the room without even looking at you.

“Jax, I have been with you for three years and I have never once asked you about club business.” You said as you followed him into your bedroom and closed the door behind you. “Your son and your wife were shot at today; we could have died today, baby!”

“I know that, (Y/N).” Jax said as he rounded on you. “Do you think I missed the part of my morning where I realized I could have lost the woman I love and my son?” You took a step toward him and cupped his cheeks in your hands as you searched his blue eyes.

“And no matter how much you think you can protect us 24/7 it’s just not possible. Baby, I may be 25 but I am not naive. I know that you have killed people and I know that you run guns with the club. But I need to know everything in between so that I can prepare myself and protect our son when you can’t be there.” You said softly as you brushed your hand through his hair. He sighed and put his hands on your hips as you continued. 

“Jax if you’re worried I’m going to judge you for the things you have done, I’m not. I love you no matter what you have done and will do and I will be by your side with you through it all no matter what. And truth be told, if we were to compare notes, my guess I have spilled just as much blood as you have…”

“Yea, but you fight monsters.” He said as he lowered his forehead to yours.

“Killing is killing at the end of the day, baby. My monsters and your monsters are both still monsters that need to be stopped, right?” He sighed and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Mayan’s want SAMCRO’s head right now. Ethan Zobelle is working with them to traffic heroin and guns for their protection.” You pulled your head back slightly and furrowed your brow.

“Wait…? What…?” Jax shook his head, pulled back and sat down on the bed.

“Let’s start from the beginning.” He said as he pulled one of his binders out of his side table drawer and handed it to you. You opened it and saw a thick stack of white printer paper. The very top one read:

‘The Life and Death of Sam Crow: How the Sons of Anarchy Lost Their Way.’ By John Thomas Teller.

“My dad wrote it before he died.” Jax said as you looked up at him. “And every day I see it coming true more and more.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“You ready for this?” Opie asked you as you climbed into the back of the van later that night. You nodded as Jax looked in at you. 

“You stay there until it’s time. Don’t be a dumbass.”

“I still owe you for shooting me so watch it.” You sassed as you got up on your knees in front of him and he smirked.

“Hold up… when did he shoot you?” Tig asked from the drivers seat as you gave your husband a chaste kiss.

“On our honeymoon.” You replied in a sing song voice as you pushed some of his blonde hair behind his ear under his ball cap.

“You told me to!” He retorted and you shrugged and pat his cheek with a smile.

“I still owe you. Now, let’s go.” He gave you one more, slightly lingering kiss before pulling back and pointing at you.

“Stay.” You gave him a mock salute as Opie shut the door. You sat down on the cold metal floor as Chibs turned around from the passenger seat.

“‘e shot ye on yer honeymoon and ye let ‘im keep ‘is dick?” You smirked up at him as you pulled on a pair of black leather gloves.

“He’s too good in bed to cut it off so for selfish reasons, yes.” The two men laughed as the sound of your dad’s truck paused right outside the passenger window.

“Keep her safe.” Jax called out. Chibs nodded at him as the truck pulled out of the lot. The plan was simple, the boys knew that this Jose guy was at a gay bar the other Mayan’s didn’t know about. They were going to follow him when he left and trap him in an alley somewhere secluded. You took the shot and Chibs and Tig were to take you home immediately after while Opie and Jax cleaned up the mess. 

As you sat in the back of the van, waiting, you couldn’t help but think about your dad. You had been on stake outs with him dozens of times growing up; usually you were sitting in the back seat of the Impala on the floor with a school book and homework but sometimes you would sit up front and talk to him as you waited. He would tell you stories of his war days and his life growing up before hunting. Every once and a while he would talk about your mother but he never said much. It was the only time you had ever gotten to really know your dad and it didn’t last long.

“There he is.” Tig said. You forced yourself out of your thoughts and into hunter mindset as Tig pulled the van away from the curb. You felt the van take half a dozen turns before racing down an alley and skidding to a stop.

“A’right, le’s do this.” Chibs said in his Scottish drawl as the sound of squealing tires flooded through the open windows. The two men jumped out of the car and ran to the front. You wanted to get out and help but you knew that doing so would only lead to issues. Without warning, you saw the flash of someones head in the front window before Jose jumped into the drivers seat of the van.

‘Fucking idiots.’ You thought to yourself as the van lurched back from the group and flew backwards down the alley. You quickly put your gun to the man’s head and pulled the trigger, refusing to be kidnapped. His dead body crumbled a few seconds before the van slammed into a wall and you were thrown across the back of the van and fell hard on your side. 

“Son of a bitch.” You groaned as you dropped your gun and grabbed your shoulder. You could tell just by the feel of it that it was dislocated. Your whole body ached and you groaned as the guy’s screaming reached the van.

“Babe?!” Jax shouted as they pried open the bashed in back door. You glared up at him.

“So much for simple, huh baby?” You growled as heaved yourself out of the van. He took ahold of your hips and helped you out of the van. “The fuck happened?”

“Quick little bugger. Bastard ‘ad a baton.” Chibs said as he rubbed the back of his head. You shook your head.

“I hate all of you right now. Chibs, help me with this.” You said as you pointed at your shoulder. He nodded and stepped to your side.

“1…” WHAP! He slammed your shoulder back into place and you grit your teeth to hold back your scream.

“We gotta go guys.” Tig said as he rubbed his upper arm. You reached into the van and grabbed your gun with a pained moan.

“I’m riding in the truck. Fuck that van.”

~~~~~~~~ EARLY JANUARY 2009 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Who’s the cutest little baby in the whole wide world?” You cooed to your son as you sat on the couch and covered his face lightly with a blanket. You had him lying on your lap as you played peekaboo with him. “You are!” Thomas burst into a fit of giggles and you repeated your game as Jax walked out of the bedroom. 

“I’ll be back.” You looked up at him with a smile as Thomas tried to turn toward the sound of his daddy’s voice.

“Where ya goin’?” You asked as he walked into the living room wearing a navy blue hoodie and jeans.

“Got club stuff.” You gave him a small nod as he leaned down to give you a kiss.

“Tell me tonight?” He nodded as he picked up Thomas from your knees.

“Are you gunna protect mama for your old man?” He asked his son who giggled in response.

“Oh yea, he’s so fierce. Uncle Dean is teaching him how to throw knives between tummy time and lunch everyday.”

“Yea, well as long as I’m the one who teaches him how to shoot a gun and ride a Harley.” He gave Thomas a kiss on the top of his head before handing him back to you.

“Be safe. Come home to us.” He nodded and gave you one more quick kiss before heading out the door. “Alright buddy. Let’s go get a bath!” You said as you stood up from the couch.

—— 

You didn’t realize you had fallen asleep on the couch watching TV but the sound of the house phone ringing around 3 am startled you awake. You leapt off the couch and grabbed the handset from the cradle with a scowl, praying that the ringer didn’t wake up Thomas.

“If you woke up my kid you better plan on coming to get him.” You growled into the phone.

“Well… I can’t really come and get him right now if he woke up.” Jax said with a hesitant laugh. You groaned and sat down at the dining room table.

“Damnit, Jackson.” You sighed as you ran your fingers through your hair. “Do I even WANT to know what happened?” 

“I’m in San Joaquin. Slight misunderstanding.” You shook your head and grabbed a cigarette from the pack on the table. 

“Slight misunderstanding, my ass.” You grumbled around the butt and sighed. “Alright, did Clay call Gemma to get ahold of the lawyer?” You heard Dean call your name and you glanced up at him and held up your finger.

“Yea. Look, I need you to get ahold Ope and tell him ‘pay attention’.” 

“Should I…”

“No, don’t ask.” He interrupted. You rolled your eyes, wondering if he really thought you were stupid enough to ask him to explain himself on a county phone and pressed on again.

“Let’s try that again… Should I bail you out?” You heard Jax sigh as Dean sat down at the table.

“Bail’ll be high. I…” You heard someone call Jax’s name in the background as you took a drag of your cigarette. “Alright. Time’s up. Love you babe.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.” You heard the phone click on the other end and with a sigh, you hung up and looked at Dean. “Looks like I get to bail the husband out of jail tomorrow.” Your phone rang again and you heard Thomas start to fuss in the nursery. With a sigh you realized there was a good chance you weren’t going back to sleep. “Go back to bed, De; I know you have work tomorrow. I got this.” You put out your cigarette as you answered the phone and got up from your chair.

“Hey, sweetheart. Have you talked to Jax?” Gemma said. You held the phone between your ear and shoulder as you picked up Thomas from his crib.

“Yea, he just called. What…”

“Bring the baby and come over. I’ve got coffee on.” You nodded awkwardly as you bounced Thomas and headed into your room to get dressed.

“Yea, let me get the baby changed and fed and we’ll head over. I gotta call Opie…” You heard a knock at your front door, interrupting your sentence and you about faced in your room. “And someone is at my house. Give me a bit, I’ll call you right back mom.” She agreed as you walked into the main hall and saw Dean with his gun pointed at the door waiting for you. He glanced over and you gave him a small nod as you paused in front of his room next to the nursery. He pulled open the door and froze for only a half second before you heard your visitor.

“Whoa! Whoa! It’s me!” Opie shouted and Dean lowered his gun.

“Sorry bro. You know how it is.” Dean said as he gave Opie a half hug. You headed toward the front door with your eyebrows raised and shook your head at your husbands best friend.

“The hell, Ope? What happened?” Opie sighed heavily as he stepped into the kitchen and shook his head as Dean excused himself to his room, knowing you wouldn’t get answers on club business if he was there

“Sheriffs showed up. Jax is working with Hale.” Your brow furrowed; you knew Jax was working with Hale to stop Zobelle but it didn’t make sense that he would be getting arrested.

“How did you get away?” You asked as you started to fix a bottle one handed.

“Give him here.” Opie said as he pulled your fussing son out of your arms. “I chased after Weston who got away.” You nodded as you finished the bottle and handed it to your friend.

“I spoke with Jax a minute ago. He says ‘pay attention’. Hope you know what that means.” He nodded as he fed Thomas and you grabbed your pack of smokes. “With everything that is going on, this shit’s bad, yea?” You asked as you jumped up on the counter. Ope sighed as he looked up at you.

“It’s not good, that’s for sure. They are looking at some real time.” You sighed and swore as you leaned back against the cabinets. You looked at your son, who was peaceful once again and shook your head.

“I’m gunna go get dressed and head to Gemma’s so we can figure this all out. You got him for a minute?” Opie nodded as you hopped off the counter. You walked over and kissed the top of your friend’s head. “Well I’m glad you at least made it out. I’d hate to see you go right back in.” With a small pat on the back, you headed toward your bedroom to get changed.

——

“Three hundred thousand dollars?! Where are we supposed to get that kinda of money?” Gemma asked. You absentmindedly rocked the carseat with your foot as you looked at the SAMCO lawyer, Rosen while sitting in the clubhouse.

“I’ll put up the house, my truck and my bike. I have the ‘mom car’ in the shop, too.” You said and Gemma nodded and looked up at the lawyer.

“My house as well.” Rosen shook his head slowly.

“That would get two, maybe three of them out.” You looked over at your mother-in-law and she shook her head.

“We need to get all six of them out. They aren’t safe in there!”

“I’m sorry, there is nothing more I can do.” The two of you, being the only old ladies of the club spent the rest of the morning scrambling to come up with an idea of how to make money fast. When the two of you were at lunch waiting for your food, Gemma was coming up with an idea before her sentence was lost and a giant smile lit up her face.

“I know where we can get the money.” She said as she stood up from the table. “I’ll be back.” You didn’t get a chance to protest as Gemma nearly ran to her car and you huffed and looked at Thomas.

“Well buddy, gramma just left us here.” Thomas simply cooed as your waitress brought your food and with a annoyed sigh, you ate.

—— 

“Thanks for picking us up, Ope.” You said as you buckled the car sear into the back of his car. Gemma had forgotten you at the restaurant on her mission to get the boys bailed out and after two hours of waiting with no car, you finally decided to call for a ride.

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” He said as you closed the door gently to not disturb nap time. “You hear they are getting out?” He asked as you got in the car.

“Nope. Forgot my phone on Gemma’s counter this morning.” Ope chuckled as he glanced over at you.

“Jax is gunna love that; Gemma leaving you and Tommy with no phone.” You shrugged as he headed toward the lot for the spur of the moment welcome home party for the boys you knew was getting thrown together. 

“Ope… be real with me. Jax has told me what’s going on but I know he’s keeping the real severity of it from me. How bad is it all?” You turned on the passenger seat and looked at him. He glanced over at you and you could see the slight internal debate before he slowly shook his head.

“It’s not good. Jax and Clay are going head to head at every pass. It’s like Jax is trying to stop the MC at every turn. Workin’ with the cops, refusing to agree with club’s direction where he can on purpose. It’s getting bad, (Y/N).” You nodded but didn’t say anything. You knew Jax’s motive behind his decisions recently; you had spent almost 6 hours after the shooting talking about them all. “He’s gunna rip this club apart if he doesn’t get on board soon.” 

“I’ll talk to him.” You said as you faced forward while Opie pulled into the Teller-Morrow lot. 

“Good. He listens to you.” You smiled as you bent down to grab your diaper bag and giggled.

“Yea, when I can get him to sit down for five minutes.” As you opened the door, Gemma came running over to the car in a panic.

“Oh, sweetheart! I am so sorry! I just got so busy and it completely slipped my mind…”

“Mom, it’s fine. Opie owed me a lift for scaring the shit outta Dean at 3 in morning anyways… speaking of… where is my brother?” You asked as you pulled the car seat out of Opie’s car.

“He’s in the garage. I’ll take Thomas for you.” She took the car seat and diaper bag from you and headed toward the office as Opie rounded the back of the car.

“Be real with him, (Y/N). I feel like I’m losing my best friend with this shit.”

“Don’t worry, Opie. I’ll talk to him when I get a chance tonight.” He nodded and gave you a one armed hug before heading toward the club. With a sigh, you headed toward the garage to talk to your brother. You could see half his body sticking out from underneath a Firebird. With a smile you darted over and plopped down on his stomach. “So, how’d you sleep last night?” You asked him over his grunt with a laugh.

“Great until the phone started ringing… get off me!” You scooted off his stomach and grabbed the nearest creeper to talk to your brother while he worked.

“Have you noticed Jax is acting a little weird recently?” You asked softly as you laid on your stomach next to Dean to keep an eye out for eavesdroppers. 

“Jax is Jax. He’s always acting weird around me because he knows I’m not a fan of his.” You rolled your eyes and looked at your brother.

“You won’t be a fan of any man I’m married to because I’m your little sister so get over that.” He sighed and looked up at you with a small shake of his head.

“He reminds me of dad; leaving you behind, only telling you half truths. It’s like he’s keeping you at arms length sometimes.” You nodded and looked around the garage before scooting even closer to Dean.

“I’m worried about him. We talked a while back about a lot of what’s going on but I just talked to Opie who said it’s almost at fighting territory within the club. I’m worried that the club will flip on him and I’ll lose my husband. Thing is, I agree with him. I get why he is going about the things he is and why he is.”

“Button, the only thing I can say on that one is this. Jax Teller is a smart man. He reminds me of dad but also a lot like Sammy and I get why you love him. But at the end of the day, just like with Sam and dad, we cannot control what other people do. You and I tried doing that with them for our whole lives and look where that got us. The only thing I can tell you to do is ride the rollercoaster because unfortunately, from what I have seen and heard around here, these guys are no joke. If something is gunna happen, it’s gunna happen and peons like us aren’t going to be able to stop it. Talk to Gemma, maybe she can talk to Clay and the four of you can sit down and work something out.” You shook your head and sighed as you scooted out from under the car.

“If only it worked that way.”

——

“Go party, baby. I got him.” Gemma said as she sat down on the bed in your old room in the club house. You looked up from the diaper bag and shook your head with a smile.

“It’s OK, mom. I can…” She reached over and pulled the diaper bag over at you with a smile.

“My way of apologizing for leaving you at lunch. Go be with your man.” You smiled as you got up from the bed with your hands raised.

“Alright, fine you win. If he get’s overly fussy, let me know. I’ll have Dean take us home if he’s still here.” She nodded, essentially ignoring you as she laid her grandson down on the bed to change him. With a content sigh, you headed out into the club to go find Jax in the yard. 

As you walked outside, your eyes immediately landed on Jax. He was sitting across the lot with a beer in one hand and a young, barely dressed blonde was sitting on his lap. Your feet froze as you looked at him. You could tell just by the look on his face that he wanted to be anywhere but where he was at that very moment but his big heart didn’t want to be rude and tell her to move. Your blood boiled and you saw red as you stormed across the parking lot.

“Come on, Jax. You know I’ll show you a good time…” The blonde you now recognized as one of the Caracara porn stars said as you got closer. 

“Babe…” Jax saw you only a second before you grabbed the girl’s hair and ripped her off his lap; slamming her to the pavement as hard as you could. She gasped in an attempt to regain the air you just knocked out of her lungs. With her hair still gripped tight in your fist, you kneeled down on one knee next to her and punched her as hard as you could in the face.

“You lay one more disgusting fucking finger on my husband and it will be the last thing you do. I will put a fucking bullet in that empty little skull of yours, whore.” You let go of her hair, stood up and kicked her as hard as you could before Jax grabbed you and pulled you back.

“Easy…” He said as you pulled yourself out of his arms. You shook your head and spit toward the girl who was being helped up by a few of her costars. You rounded on him and stepped up so you were chest to chest with him.

“Don’t ‘easy’ me. You are just as much in the wrong here and you know it.” You seethed at him before turning around and heading back toward the club house. You made it about 10 steps before he grabbed ahold of your arm and turned you toward the garage instead. As he moved you into the office, you waited until the door clicked closed behind him before you rounded. “What the hell is going on with you? That is not the Jax Teller I know.” You said as you gestured out toward the parking lot.

“What do you want from me, huh? She sat down…”

“Then you push her off and show her this.” You said as you grabbed his left hand and held his wedding ring in front of him. 

“Well, maybe you just don’t know who I am.” He counter challenged as he pulled his hand away from you.

“No, see that’s where you’re wrong. I do know you. I know you pretty well; better than you think I do. You’re taking the issues you have with Clay and the club and Zobelle and you’re flipping them around and taking them out on me. You wanna know HOW I know that, because Sam used to do it to Dean and my dad used to do it to me. I see it all over your face, Teller. So, when you’re done acting like a complete fucking MORON for no reason other than to hurt someone else like you are hurting, come find me. I’ll be at home with your son.” You stormed past him and ripped open the door before turning to look at his back. “Oh, and if you think cheating on me is a good next step as payback because you’re hurting, just remember this. I’m a fucking Winchester and if I wanted to, I could disappear to where you will never see your son again.”

—— 

You hadn’t been home from the party half an hour before your front door opened and quickly closed. You didn’t move from the rocking chair or even attempt to conceal your tears as Jax walked into the nursery. You kept your face down, looking only at your sleeping son as he leaned against the door frame with a sigh.

“You should go.” He said. You whipped your head up to look at him as your jaw dropped.

“What did you just say to me?” You asked as your heart began to crumble.

“I’m toxic.” He said as he looked away; not allowing you to see his eyes so he could hide his true feelings. You stood up from the rocker and maneuvered Thomas where his face was completely uncovered. You stood with your son in your husband’s line of sight as your body shook with a plethora of emotions.

“I want you to swear to me on your son’s life that you honestly believe that YOU are the person that is toxic and you’re not just worried that we will get hurt because of Zobelle or the Irish or the Mayans. Because if I walk out that door Jackson, you are condemning your son to the life that I was raised in.” He turned to walk away and you quickly grabbed his hand and moved his arm in a cradle shape. “Then hold him one more time.” Jax’s resolve crumbled as you laid your son in his harms.

“It’s not safe…” He started in. You led him over to the rocker with a small sigh. Once he sat down, you kneeled between his knees but he kept looking at Thomas.

“Jax, safe is a four letter word with no meaning. There is no such thing as ‘safe.’ If we are here, we only run the risk of the assholes you are dealing with and maybe the once in a blue moon monster. You put us out in the world and I am up a creek without a paddle with your son against not only other human beings but every monster in the US after us. I stopped being safe the moment I was born; just like you and just like our son. But here in Charming, we are safer with you.” You reached up and cupped his cheeks in your hands and waited for him to look up at you with teary blue eyes. You gave him a small smile and brushed your thumb across his cheek. 

“Jax, I know you don’t like to show weakness and that’s what Thomas and I are for you. I get that because my dad was the exact same way. I also know you pushing us away so we don’t get hurt isn’t what you want, it’s what you think is best for the situation. If you really wanted me gone, you would have slept with that whore tonight but you didn’t. You came home. I know you think you have to protect us and the club and your mom and your brothers but baby, you are one person! You can’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Let me bear it with you. 

I am not some croweater who needs someone up my ass 24/7 with protection; I’m a hunter. I’m the girl that punched a guy out at a bar the day we met for two hundred dollars and just beat the shit out of a porn star. I saved our ass on that Mayan shooting and I saved our son when we were getting shot at. I’m the girl that helped you get rid of bodies on our honeymoon and managed to kill a vamp with you two days later; who can dig a bullet out of your arm better than Chibs can and isn’t afraid to get my hands dirty. I’m not a china doll and that’s why you fell in love with me. Let some of that stress go because it’s killing the man I love and that’s killing me.” He didn’t say a word when you finished but you could almost hear the wheel’s turning in his hear. He looked back down at Thomas for a moment and you moved your hands out of the way. You saw an almost discernible nod of his head as he looked back up at you.

“Stay.” He whispered. You sighed a breathy laugh and tilted your head to the side.

“I was never going anywhere. The thought of living in a motel room with Dean again makes me want to bathe in acid.” You reached up and moved a strand of hair behind his ear with a smile. “Come on baby, let’s go to bed.”


	7. Chapter 7

~~~~~~~ MID-FEBURARY 2009 ~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“It’s only gunna be for a few days.” Jax said as you packed clothes for the both of you in a bag for the SAMCRO family lockdown. The boys were going after Zobelle, Weston and the League of the Aryan Brotherhood and as a precaution, all family and close friends of SAMCRO were being brought into the clubhouse for safety purposes. You picked up your duffle and headed toward the nursery to help your mother-in-law get Thomas packed.

“Yea, I know but we are bringing a eight month old into a club house full of people and expecting it to stay quiet enough for naps and bedtime.”

“I’ve already taken care of that.” Gemma said as she put your son in a pair of jeans. “Anyone disturbs my grand baby when he’s sleeping, they’ll get my boot up their ass.”

“Parenting 101…” You teased as you pulled stuff out of the drawers and shoved them in your bag of clothes. “…piss off the baby, call the grandma. She’ll shove a boot up your ass.”

“Only certain boots though.” She quipped as she put Thomas in his car seat. “My black ones are too expensive for ass kicking.” 

—— 

“OK! I want to welcome you all to the Club Reaper. I'm glad you made your reservations early 'cause, as you can see, we are booked to capacity. You're here because you're family. And because SAMCRO takes care of its own. Next couple of days, this club's got some business to handle that could put our members and the people connected to us in... unfriendly situations. Now, chances are, nothing's going to happen, but... people have already been hurt on my watch. And that ain't ever going to happen again. Nobody gets in. Nobody leaves without an escort. You got a safety concern, you talk to Piney. You got a comfort concern, you talk to my queen. Under this roof, you'll all be safe. Want you to make yourself at home. I love all of you.” You gave a weak smile to the group of SAMCRO family members as Clay finished speaking. As he stepped off the chair he was standing on, Gemma turned to you in what you called ‘Mother mode’.

“We need to make sure everyone gets room assignments.” She said as Jax gave you a quick kiss on the cheek and headed into the chapel. You had managed to get yourself unofficially named as Gemma’s helper since you were not only her daughter-in-law but the ‘princess’ of the club. You laid your hand on Thomas’ back where he slept in a baby carrier on your chest, grabbed the clipboard she was handing you and followed her toward the dorms. “Alright everyone. I have a list over here of rooms.” She called out as she stood in the doorway to the dorms. “Now, (Y/N)’s going to point you in the right direction and if you need absolutely anything come find me.” She turned to you and brushed her hand over Thomas’ head. “I’m going to start lunch with the girls. Got it here?”

“Yea, I think I can handle it.” You laughed as the family members headed over to you.

“Where do you have me?” Dean asked grumpily as he stopped in front of you. He had protested all morning; claiming he could fend for himself but one glance with the puppy eyes that you knew were his weakness and he caved. 

“You are in with me and Tommy; my old room. You wanna take your nephew with you so I can get some work done?”

“Man, trapping me in here and putting me on baby patrol?” He teased as he happily pulled his nephew out of the carrier. 

“Thanks De. Come get me if you need me.” You called out to him as you turned back to the group. The next person up was Lyla, and a couple of the Caracara girls. Lyla and Ope had been dating for six months or so and from what you had seen of her, she was an absolute angel. “Oh hey, perfect! You all are right across the hall from me. Last door on the left; follow him.” You said as you pointed to Dean’s retreating back.

“Thanks, (Y/N). Can I talk to you later?” You nodded as she gestured the girls past her down the hall and smiled.

“Of course hun! Just come find me because I’ll be running around for a while.” She gave you a glowing smile and you squeezed her shoulder before marking the room off on the clip board. 

It only took about half an hour to get every single family member and patch that wasn't already living there organized in the limited space you had with only one complication with two croweaters that almost ended in a fist fight over couches. Thankfully Dean, who happened to be standing in the hallway watching everyone get moved in was able to help you quickly rectify the situation, but not before you took a weak hook to the jaw. Once the dust settled, you grabbed an ice pack and went outside to get some space. After a few minutes, Jax walked out with the rest of the patches and his brow furrowed.

“The hell happened?”

“Got in the middle of a girl fight. Don’t worry, I threw no punches and the situation has been handled.” He pulled your hand away from your cheek to look at it and you could tell he was holding back a laugh. “Yea, yea. Laugh it up chuckles.” You grumbled as you took a drag of your cigarette.

“Oh, I will. Why has our son been replaced with a clip board?” He asked as he looked at the baby carrier you completely forgot you had on.

“Because I got tired of the crying late at night and upgraded to something that let’s me sleep.” You joked as you took the last drag of your cigarette.

“Hey, well rested wife means more sex so I am OK with this.” He teased back. You rolled your eyes as he gave you a chaste kiss.

“Be safe. Come home to us.”

“I will babe. I promise.”

—— 

By day two, the club house seemed absolutely claustrophobic. The lot felt like it was caving in on you and no matter where you turned, there was always someone there. You got to the point where you turned the boxing ring the club had on the back porch into a make shift play mat so you could get away and let your son practice his newest ‘trick’ crawling. It was there that Lyla finally found you.

“Hey, (Y/N). Can I talk you?” She asked softly. You looked up at her and propped yourself up on your elbows.

“Yea, sweets what’s up?” She glanced around nervously before crawling under the ropes to sit next to you.

“So, I don't want anyone to know about this.” She said softly as she laid down on her stomach next to you. You glanced over at her and nodded.

“Hun, anything you say here will stay between you, me and this little blabber mouth.” You said as you pointed to your babbling son who was trying to figure out how to get up and stay up on his hands and knees. She barely smiled at the joke and your brow furrowed slightly as she looked down at her hands.

“I… I need a ride to get an abortion.” She said softly. Your face softened and your heart went out to her as she shook her head. “I-I don’t want to but it’s just… not right, right now.” You looked at the girl who was the same age as you slightly confused. 

“Lyla… didn’t you just get engaged?” 

“Yea…” She glanced over at you and shook her head. “It’s just… that house still feels like a shrine to Donna. I love Ope but there are rare times where I feel like I’m just a replacement for her memory.”

“Oh shit sweetheart. Yea, I didn’t know Donna. She wasn’t big with the club and she passed away when Jax and I first got together.”

“Yea well, she is very much still present in that house and it’s not fair to him or me or a baby to be brought into this world right now.” You sighed and nodded.

“It’s your call sweetheart and as your friend I will stand by your side. Just let me know when you wanna go, OK?” She nodded as the club backdoor door opened and you both looked up at Gemma.

“There you are! I need your help with a supply run.” She said as she walked over to you with the car seat and diaper bag already in hand. You looked over at Lyla and gave her a a one armed hug.

“I love ya hun.” You said as you kissed her temple. You pushed yourself up on your knees and grabbed Thomas.

“I love ya too. Want me to bring this stuff inside for you?” She asked while she gestured to the blanket and handful of toys.

“Actually that would be great. Just… fair warning. Knock before you go in my room. Dean had his eye out for one of the twins and I’ve been avoiding my room out of sheer fear of what I may see.” You fake shuttered as you got out of the ring and put Thomas in his car seat. Lyla laughed and collected the edges of the blanket.

“Yeeaaa… I’ll just put it in my room then.” You gave her a small wave and headed toward the lot with Gemma and Half Sack.

“What were you two chatting about?” Gemma asked as you put the car seat in the back of a Caprice you had bought from Bobby after trading in the bullet ridden Honda.

“Baby milestones. Crawling, walking; stuff like that.” Gemma accepted your lie easily as you got into the car.

——

“We get everything from the list?” You asked as you and Gemma unloaded bag after bag into the back of the car.

“Yep. Enough stuff to supply an army. Since we are out anyways, we’re gunna swing by the house and get the pack and play. I don’t like the idea of Thomas up on that boxing ring if he starts crawling before we go home.” You glanced up at your mother and controlled your eye roll.

“I don’t leave him up there alone, mom. I watch him.” She looked up at you and touched your arm gently with a shake of her head.

“No, baby. That’s not what I mean at all! I just think about the blood and sweat on that mat. I don’t want my grand baby or my daughter lying on that mat anymore.” You chuckled as you shut the trunk and grabbed the car seat from the cart.

“Well then I am all for that. I wouldn’t mind being at home for even a minute. I feel like I can’t breathe there.”

“Hey… I know him.” Gemma said as she pointed toward a man walking across the parking lot. He looked a little older than you and your brow furrowed.

“How do you know him?” She ignored your question as she pushed the car keys toward you.

“Take my grandson to the house and stay there.” She said before she ran off. Your jaw dropped as she followed after the guy. Half Sack came running up to you in a panic.

“What do I do?” You looked over at him and then back toward where Gemma was.

“I… fuck. Look, follow her at a huge distance. I’m going to my house to get a couple things. Meet me there.” He nodded and ran over to his bike as you quickly put Thomas in the car and drove to your house. 

—— 

“(Y/N)?” Half Sack yelled half hour later as he walked into your house. 

“In here!” You called out from the nursery as you changed your son. A moment later, Sack appeared.

“So we have a problem. I followed her to a house. I stayed like half a block away and then that ATF bitch came out of the house and a bunch of cops showed up so I bailed.”

“Jesus fuck, Gemma.” You groaned as you laid Thomas down in his crib for a minute. “How many cops?” You asked as you grabbed the house phone to call and pre-warn Jax. Sack shrugged as you dialed the familiar number.

“Two cars at least.”

“Goddamnit. Jax is gunna…”

“What’s up?” 

“Babe, we have a problem with your mother…”

“Fuck. What happened?”

“Well, we were out getting supplies and…”

“And she killed m’boy.” Your heart stopped as an unfamiliar Irish voice spoke behind you and you whipped around. You came face to face with the barrel of a gun and a choked yelp escaped your throat.

“No.. wait, you don’t…” the man ripped the phone from your hand and hung up.

“That was my Eddy!” He roared as he threw the phone against the wall. It shattered into a million pieces and you cringed. “Gemma took ‘im from me. Now, yous’ll know what it feels like to lose everythin’ as I.” The man cocked the gun and you jumped seconds before you were shot. You heard the round hit your wall as Sack scrambled between you and the man.

“Take me. Leave her out of this.” Sack said as Thomas started screaming. Your stomach lurched as the man looked toward the sound.

“Oh, laddie. Yer can go too.” The sound of the next bullet ripped a scream from you as Sack dropped to the ground. You looked up at the man to see him storming out of the kitchen toward the nursery. Debilitating fear ripped through you as you tried to fight your fear to chase after him. You grabbed the gun Dean kept strapped under the dining room table and ran toward the hall. 

With shaky hands, you fired. Your bullet clipped the man’s arm and he growled as he spun around. You pulled the trigger once more at the same time he did. Your gun misfired as his bullet slammed into your side. You were knocked onto your back as pain radiated throughout your body and you scrambled ineffectively to get up. As blood pooled around you, you saw the man standing over you with Thomas crying in his arms.

“Now, yer ‘ill know what it feels like ter lose a son.” He said entirely too calm before he slammed the butt of his gun into your face, knocking you unconscious. 

——

“(Y/N)!” you could barely hear Jax screaming your name in the darkness but you fought to find it. Finding it meant coming home; finding it meant getting back to your son. “Babe, come back to me!” You fought to open your eyes as the memory of what happened came flooding back to you. You choked a sob as you came too and looked at your husband as panic took over. 

“He has Tommy!” You sobbed as you tried to scramble to get up. “My baby!”

“Who? Who has Tommy?”

“The man! Irishman. Said Gemma killed his Eddy. Shot Sack. I grabbed Dean’s gun and went after him and the fucking thing misfired.” You sobbed as Jax jumped up.

“Cameron’s got Thomas.” He shouted out the front door.

“Jax just give me a phone and go get our son.” You choked as you held your side and used the wall to sit up. He dropped a phone on your lap and took off running. Your tears took over and instead of calling for help, you ignored the phone and cried.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Button you have to eat something.” Dean said gently. You didn’t say a word from your position curled up on the rocking chair in the nursery where you had been for a week. “Lyla called. She wants to come by later.” When you continued to just stare blankly at the crib; your fingers rubbing an imperfection in the wood absentmindedly. Dean sighed and put a bottle of water on your lap. “We’ll find him.” He said softly as he brushed your dirty hair away from your face and kissed your forehead. You heard a knock at the front door and Dean went to answer it; stepping over your husbands stoned, intoxicated and passed out form. 

From the moment Cameron left the dock on his boat with Thomas, neither of you could function. You thought you had lost everything when you lost your dad and Sam but losing your son was beyond anything you could imagine. Every moment you were awake your mind ran on what could be happening to your son. And with everything you had seen in your life, none of it was good. 

No matter how much you knew it wasn’t her fault, you blamed Gemma. You blamed Zobelle for causing a rift between the Irish and your family, you blamed the ATF but mostly you blamed yourself. You kept telling yourself you should have just fought harder, pushed more; you would have had your son. But instead, you gave up and let him win. You let him get taken.

“Jesus Christ. Alright boys, get ‘em up.” Clay said from the doorway. You couldn’t be bothered to look away from the empty crib as Opie and Chibs heaved Jax’s body off the floor. You heard the shower turn on a moment later followed by a shout as Jax was dropped in the shower. A moment later you were lifted off the chair by your father-in law and tears started pouring down your cheeks. “We’ll find him.” He said to you as he set you in the shower, clothes still on next to the man you hadn’t been able to look at in a week without crying. As the guys left the two of you sitting on the shower floor, you let yourself fall into Jax’s side.

“I blame me, too.” You whispered. It took him a moment before he dropped his arm over your shoulder.

“I don’t. I blame me.” You turned into his chest and sobbed as the two of you sat in the shower and blamed yourselves.

——

“So there is a hunt over in Utah.” You told Jax the next day as he was getting ready for church to start the search for your son. “It’s a simple salt and burn but I need to get out of this house for a day or two. I can’t…” Your voice trailed off and your husband nodded.

“Taking Dean?” He asked as you smoked a cigarette in bed.

“No, I… I’m just gunna go.” He looked up at you and you shook your head. “You have the club. All I knew is hunting.” 

“(Y/N)…” 

“Jax… it’s my fault. I…”

“Babe, stop.” He said as he walked around the bed to your side. “You fought. That’s all that matters. We’ll get him back.” He told you, his supposedly reassuring words unbelievable to both of you. You sighed as you got up from the bed and he wrapped you in a hug before you could walk away. “We will get him back.” You relented and wrapped your arms around his waist as your tears fell once more.

“I still gotta go.” He rested his lips against the top of your head and sighed into your hair.

“I’ll keep you posted when we get to Vancouver to follow the lead.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“I figured I’d find you here.” Dean said as he walked up to the grave you had been digging for two hours. You looked up at him with a sigh, your breath coming out in a puff in the cold night air as you leaned against your shovel.

“I knew I should have ripped out that GPS.” You grumbled as you wiped the sweat off your forehead. You shrugged as he sat down on the edge of the grave and you pulled your cigarettes out of your pocket. “I just couldn’t be in that house anymore. It was so quiet…”

“I know. I never thought I would miss the sound of a crying baby.” You nodded as tears welled in your eyes.

“De… what if we don’t find him?” You asked as you dropped your shovel and heaved yourself on the edge of the grave.

“We’ll find him. I have every hunter in the US, Canada and Mexico looking for him and that Irish prick. Someone will find him.”

“If they don’t, I want to leave Charming and go back to hunting; you and me. There is no way Jax will forgive me for losing his child.”

“Button… he’s your son too.” Dean pointed out. You shrugged as you took a long drag of your cigarette.

“Right now, with the way I feel, I wish I had never left Colorado. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so fucking lost.” Dean jumped down into the grave and stood in front of you with his hands on your knees. 

“And then what? You and me would be wondering around all lost and shit; never knowing what happiness looks like the way we do now. Look, I know Jax doesn’t blame you; no one does. You fought to the bitter end and my damn gun jammed. So if anything, it’s my fault for not cleaning my guns like I used to. Now, you can beat yourself up for it all you want or you can be a Winchester and we can hunt down our little man.” You looked up at him and sighed with a small smile.

“I’m only half a Winchester.” You half teased. He took a step back and grabbed the shovel.

“Well, you’re a full pain in my ass.”

—— 

“What did you find out?” You asked as you sat on the tailgate of your truck on the side of the road before heading home the next morning. Jax sighed.

“Well Hayes was found but he is dead and he’s not in Vancouver. He’s in Belfast.” Your brow furrowed as you tried to place the semi-familiar city name.

“Belfast? Where the hell is that?” You scooted forward to jump off the truck to get a map and he paused for a second.

“Belfast, Ireland.” Your heart stopped and your breath caught in your throat.

“Ireland? How the hell…?”

“Cameron is True IRA.” You groaned and fell back against the weapons box.

“Fuck. Alright, so how do we get to Ireland?” You asked as you jumped off the truck.

“Well, that’s the thing. I can’t bring you with me. I can’t risk bringing you into True IRA territory with Jimmy O’ on the lose.” 

“Jackson, this is my son! I don't give a shit…” You shouted as you slammed the bed of the truck closed.

“Damnit (Y/N), don’t you think I know that?!” He shouted over you. “We have an insider that knows where he is. She is willing to work with us but I am not bringing another member of my family to Ireland where something else could go wrong!” 

“You have three days, Jackson Teller. You find my son or I’m going to Ireland and you will not like the way I go about handling shit!” You snapped before you hung up the phone and threw it into the bed of your truck. You jumped in the truck and flew onto the road before grabbing your back up cell from the glove compartment to call Dean for plan B.

—— 

“This bastard is giving me the run around.” Jax told you on day three. “Now, he won’t give us the location of Thomas until we give them Jimmy.” You butt our your cigarette and exhaled sharply.

“But we want Jimmy?” You said as you shoved back away from the table to get Dean.

“Right. So I’m getting the fucking run around. I have a meeting with him again in an hour or two.” You knocked on your brothers door as you nodded.

“What’s this fuckers name? I’m gunna see what I can dig up with Sam’s computer.” You lied as you opened the door to your brother’s room and gave him the wrap it up signal.

“Father Kellan Ashby.” He said distracted. You smiled at his distraction and nodded as Dean got off his bed.

“Alright. Let me see what I can find out.” You said as you hung up the phone. You looked up at Dean who did not look happy and smiled. “Let’s go to Ireland.”

——

“Are you sure we have enough leverage?” As you stood up and brushed your hands off on the back of your jeans. Dean nodded as he mixed ingredients in a bowl on the kitchen table. 

“Let’s just say we are doing this the Winchester way and winging the fuck out of it.” You shook your head and sighed as you grabbed a stack of Thomas’ baby pictures, his, your and Jax’s birth certificate and your ID and put them in your inside jacket pocket.

“Alright. Let’s get my baby boy back.” With a glance at each other, Dean gave you a short nod before lighting a match. You picked up the angel blade and spun it on your palm as Dean muttered some words in Latin. You gripped the blade firmly in your fist as your brother dropped the match and a puff of smoke filled your kitchen.

“What in the bloody hell is going on?!” A British voice shouted. You smirked as the smoke cleared and you waved at your visitor.

“Hiya Crowley. We need your help.”

“Well well… if it isn't the baby Winchester. Come to throw some more things, have we?” He snarked.

“No and I apologize for that. I need a favor; a big, multi-part favor.” Crowley chuckled as he looked around.

“Well, what do I get in return?”

“You get nothing in return.” Dean snapped as he picked up his demon blade and spun it in his fingers. “Sam and I stopped Lucifer; gave you a free pass to run hell. Consider this favor the pay back from that because I would be more than happy to find a replacement dick to fill your shoes.” The two men stared at each other; testing the validity behind the threat before Crowley cracked.

“Alright. What?”

“My son has been kidnapped.” You said, fighting to keep the waiver out of your voice. You swallowed around the lump in your throat as Dean put his hand on your back. “He’s been taken by members of the True IRA and they are refusing to give us information. What I need from you is a lift to Ireland, a little mind reading or whatever it is you do to find out where my son is, and transportation there and back-up to get my son, unharmed and alive… I also need Jimmy O’Phelan in SAMCRO custody and brought back to the States unharmed.” Crowley laughed as he sized you up.

“You expect me to go to Ireland and deal with the IRA? Do I look bloody stupid to you?” You stormed across the kitchen with your angel blade gripped in your fist and pinned him against the wall of the devil’s trap with the point pressing into his jugular.

“Yes, I do because from where I am currently sitting, you owe the fucking Winchester’s. My brothers kept your ass alive at the end of the apocalypse and gave you a nice cushy existence so you’re gunna sack up and help us or I will fucking put you down myself. I want my fucking son home now.” He sized you up as he strained away from your blade before sighing.

“Alright. I will help you.” You pulled back the angel blade and walked backwards out of the circle.

“You go back on this promise, Crowley and we will kill you.” Dean said as he bent down and scratched out the edge of the devil’s trap.

“Don’t worry, I won’t. I happen to have nothing to do today anyways and I quite enjoy being King.” You and Dean sighed and stepped forward.

“Find Clay Morrow. We can go from there.”

“Look mother, I’m a little errand boy; how quaint?” He grumbled as he snapped his fingers. You gripped the angel blade tight in one hand and reached out and grabbed your brother as everything around you spun violently. 

“Oh fuck…” You growled through grit teeth as your stomach turned and you squeezed your eyes closed. Just as suddenly as it started everything seemed to settle back to normal.

“(Y/N)?” You heard Gemma ask, shock and almost fear obvious in her tone. You opened your eyes and looked around room at the Charming members of SAMCRO.

“Mom, I don’t have time to explain; where is Jax?” Gemma looked stunned and you looked around what you assumed was the living room of the dorms of the Belfast chapter of the Son’s of Anarchy and Juice pointed toward the door.

“Down stairs, go to the far right corner. That’s the clubhouse.” You nodded as you gestured for Crowley to walk with your angel blade. You and Dean followed him out the door and followed Juice’s directions.

“I feel like a bloody dog.” Crowley mumbled as you approached the door.

“Crowley, leave the sarcasm, please. I just want my son. Unlock it.” You said as you pointed toward the door. You expected to hear a click but with a wave of the demon’s hand the door flew open startling the two men inside.

“(Y/N)?” Jax asked as you walked into the room.

“You had three days. Now, it’s mama's turn.” You said as you moved to stand in front of the priest. “Crowley?” You said with a glance over your shoulder. He scowled.

“A bloody priest?! You expect me to…” His words were lost as Dean held the demon blade to his throat and he scowled even more. “Bollocks. Take the damn cross off him and hold him down.” You turned back to the priest and yanked at his shirt collar.

“Shouldn’t have dicked around on my husband.” You told the man as you took the rosary off the priest and threw it on the table while Dean walked over to the other side. Father Ashby began to struggle and you quickly held the angel blade to his throat. “Jax, come hold him down.” As Dean and Jax held the priest, you turned back to Crowley, who had taken a seat right behind you and nodded. With a sigh, he closed his eyes and a giant plume of red smoke poured out of his mouth. The priest screamed the Holy Trinity as the smoke circled briefly and flew into his open mouth. As the last of the smoke entered his body, Father Ashby’s body went slack for a moment before he looked up at you.

“I feel bloody disgusting.” Crowley said in the priest’s voice as he squirmed around in the meat suit.

“Then give me the information I need. Address of where Cameron Hayes took my son and his current location.” 

“Yes, yes alright.” Crowley said. He looked around the room for a moment, reading the man’s thoughts before he focused on you. “The baby was taken to a black market orphanage, however the boy was adopted out two days ago.” You took a step back as the wind was ripped from your lungs but Crowley raised a finger at you. “However… the orphanage has a four day grace period and the child is in the Europa Hotel until day after tomorrow.”

“Names?” Crowley looked up and shook his head a bit as if he were fighting for control with the priest before looking back at you and cringing slightly.

“Mark and Katey Petrie.”

“Leave him.” You said as you took a half step back from the priest. Ashby’s mouth opened and a plume of red smoke poured from the man’s mouth.

“How the hell did he do that?” Jax asked as Ashby’s body went slack and you looked up at your husband.

“He’s a demon. Now, let’s go get our son.” You turned back to the demon who was straightening his suit. “Thank you. Now from here, can you take us to the hotel and then we can go find Jimmy O’Phelan?” 

“King who plays fetch. What…”

“Crowley!” You and Dean snapped as the priest began praying loudly. Crowley looked at him and chuckled.

“Since you gave me the chance to enjoy that, I will do this.” He said as he pointed to the priest. You grabbed Jax hand and pulled him to your side as Dean stepped to your other side and put his hand on your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around Jax’s waist and mentally tried to prepare yourself.

“Close your eyes. This sucks.” The pair of you closed your eyes just as Crowley snapped and the four disappeared from the club house. You felt Jax grip you tight as everything around you shifted and before you knew it you were outside of the hotel. You looked inside at the two women behind the counter before looking at your brother. “You’re up.” Dean looked inside as a cocky smile spread across his face.

“45 seconds.” He challenged.

“Doubt it.” With a cocky fluff of his jacket, he strolled inside.

“What did you do?” Jax asked as he looked at Crowley and you shook your head.

“It’s a favor. We reminded him how he got his throne in the first place. He’s doing this as a favor to the Winchesters and I can only imagine that the Winchesters will help him at some point in the future as well. I will say that I’m gunna have to come up with a really good explanation of how I managed to just appear with Dean and the King of Hell in the middle of the dorms.”

“Oh Jesus, babe.” Jax groaned and you shook your head. 

“I told you… three days and you wouldn’t like how I handle things. This is how I deal with things like this.” You said as you gestured to Crowley.

“Yes well I am starting to run out of patience so can we speed this up?” He asked. You glared over at him and shook your head.

“Don’t start. This is my child. Dean risked his life and Sam lost his to put Lucifer away; you fucking remember that when you sit on that throne of yours. Winchester blood got you there.” At that moment, Dean came strolling out with a grin on his face.

“Phone number.” He said as he held up a piece or paper.

“De, I don’t need a fucking phone number I need a…”

“Room number.” He said as he held up a second piece of paper. Jax snatched the paper out of his hands and ran toward the hotel.

“3rd floor. 327” He called out as you tore after him.

“Stairs, Jax.” He turned to the right and headed for the staircase. With every leg burning step, your heart ached at the thought of seeing your son again. The stairs seemed to go on forever but as the sign for the third floor came into view, tears welled in your eyes. He ripped open the hall door and you ran past him searching for the room.

“You could have just asked for a lift.” Crowley said as he and Dean waited outside the door. You shook your head as you and Jax paused outside the door. Jax hesitated for only a moment as if this were too good to be true before knocking and you handed Dean your angel blade to hide. You let out a small choked sob when you heard a baby cry on the far side of the door before a tired looking man opened the door.

“Can I help you?” He asked as he looked at the small group.

“Yes. Two weeks ago, our son was stolen for us and brought to Ireland. You have adopted him illegally him and we want him back.” You said. The man looked at you like you were insane and shook his head.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” He said as he went to closed the door. Jax stepped forward and slammed the door open and towered over the man.

“Give. Me. My. Son.” He demanded threateningly.

“Katey, call security.” He said as he backed up and you heard Crowley scoff.

“Move.” He said as he pushed you out of the way. He snapped his fingers and the man disappeared in the blink of an eye. “Go get your son.” He said. You didn’t stop to ask questions; didn’t want to know what happened to the couple as you ran into the room toward the sound of crying. You sobbed as you looked into the pack and play at your little baby boy.

“Thomas…” You breathed as you picked him and clutched him to your chest. You heard Jax let out a sobbed laughed as he wrapped his arms around you and your son.

“We found him.” He whispered in your ear as the two of you sank to your knees on the motel floor. You nodded as tears poured down your cheeks. You turned your head to look back at Dean and Crowley and nodded.

“Thank you. Fuck… thank you so much.” 

“Yes yes. I need to go alter a couple tapes then we need to leave. You have two minutes.” You nodded as you passed Thomas to your husband. As quickly as you and Dean could, you grabbed every single baby item you could and shoved them in the diaper bag to use until you got home. As you were finishing, Crowley showed back up. “Time to go. Back to the dorms for you then off to find James O’Phelan. His contract is almost up as is.” You whipped around on the spot and blanched at Crowley’s statement.

“How long?” You gasped. Crowley shrugged and looked at his nails.

“Three days.”

“Fuck… FUCK!” You shouted as you turned back to Jax. “I need you to tell me the deal you made with that ATF bitch when it comes to Jimmy.” He looked at you in mock confusion as he shook his head.

“I don’t have…”

“Jax… now is not the time to play coy. We have three days until hellhounds come to kill him and take his soul to hell so whatever deal you have cooking needs to happen within three days.”

“Shit.” Jax mumbled as he sat down on the bed. He looked up at you and sighed. “We need to get to the club now.”

—— 

“Are you sure this guy is going to show to take that Irish dick out?” Clay asked as everyone got setup at the parking lot. You nodded as you closed the driver’s side door to the Caprice solemnly with a trapped, gagged and tied up Irishman inside the trunk.

“Yea, I’m sure. The deal is done.” You look up at your husband who you knew would be going to jail today for the next year and sighed before looking at your father-in-law. “Just make sure the boys stay clear. Hellhounds are no joke.” Clay nodded and turned toward the rest of the crew as Jax wrapped his arms around you. You couldn’t stop the couple of tears that fell on his shirt. “We just get Thomas back and turn around to lose you.” You whispered as you held your husband close. 

“You’ll come see me next week, babe. 14 months will go by like nothing.” You nodded as he dipped his face in your neck. “I love you.”

“I love you, too Jax. Always will.” He kissed your neck and shoulder before pulling back to rest his forehead against yours.

“Make sure you get yourself out after you finalize the deal with that demon. Don’t you stick around either.” You nodded your head as he reached up and brushed your tears away with his thumbs, cupping your jaw in his hands. “And call Chibs or Opie if you need anything.”

“I will. I promise.” You heard the roared rumble of bikes starting up and you both sighed. “I love you.”

“I love you, babe. Make it believable.” He gave you one final chaste kiss before pulling back and walking over to his bike. You wiped the remaining tears from your eyes as you got in your car and pulled out behind the half dozen motorcycles to bring Jimmy to his death.

—— 

As you followed the bikers, you and Jax knew you were about going to get stopped by the bitch who continued to ruin your life. Your plan was risky, with so many variables going on at once; anything could go wrong if one person stepped out of line and all hell could literally break loose. You suddenly saw the ATF van and an unmarked police car pull out in the middle of the road. This was it; show time for the Teller’s. 

As the men stopped their bikes, you slowed to a stop a little ways behind them so that if Jimmy made any noise, it wouldn’t be heard over the distance and the hum of the engine but close enough that you could still hear. You rolled your window down to be able to hear and immediately heard the low growl of a hell hound right outside your car. Your hairs stood on end as you looked toward the invisible beast to your left and watched strips of gravel curl back under its nails.

“Easy Juliet.” Crowley said from directly behind you in the back seat. You jumped at the sudden close proximity and simply looked straight forward; pointing discreetly behind your dashboard.

“Woman in the pants suit; June Stahl. Her, any ATF agents dumb enough to stay behind and Jimmy in the trunk. My guys get to Jimmy first and your hounds finish him but everyone else is fair game.” You said as you listed off the souls Crowley would be given at the hands of SAMCRO that day. “Any other people who meet Mr. Mayhem from here on out, you will be notified as long as Jax and I have the heads up on it first.”

“Such simple payment for the collection of a child.” He said as he leaned around you to look at Stahl. “Seal it with a kiss?” He asked and you shook your head.

“I need to make sure they all believe it first. When I whistle; that’s when I will seal it.”

“You Winchester’s always have to make thing’s difficult, don’t you?” He asked as he disappeared along with the sound of the hell hound. 

“It’s Teller.” You grumbled to no one. You watched Jax, Clay, Stahl and two officers walked toward you and you took a deep breath and got out of the car. Clay looked beyond livid and Stahl looked completely pleased with herself.

“Pop the trunk.” Jax told you. Despite being part of the plan, you still furrowed your brow. You popped the trunk as the rest of the brothers walked over toward the car. You looked at Jax as Stahl and her agents walked around to the back of the car.

“James O'Phelan, you're being taken into custody on suspicion of conspiracy of committing a terrorist criminal act.” She told him as her goons pulled Jimmy out of the trunk. They removed the gag and walked him past the Sons.

“Sorry, it didn’t work out for you lads. Luck of the Irish and all.” He said as the agents carted him toward the cars at the front.

“How did you know we had him?” Clay demanded angrily as Stahl opened a blue file she had under her arm.

“Oh! Your VP made a deal.” Your stomach dropped as you whipped around completely to face Stahl; this was not part of the deal Jax had made.

“Son of a bitch!” Jax shouted as he turned to hit her but the guys had him surrounded.

“What is she talking about?!” Clay asked as he looked at his stepson.

“You made a deal for Jimmy?!” Tig shouted

“You ratted?!” Bobby screamed.

“What have you done?!” You screeched at Stahl and she simply smiled.

“I did it for the club! I had no choice!” Jax shouted in his defense as his panicked eyes found yours.

“This whole time we were looking for Jimmy and you knew you were gunna turn him over to this cunt.” Clay said.

“We lost five brothers because of Jimmy!” Juice stated.

“No, Clay, she made him do it. He didn't have a choice! He’s not a rat!” You said as you tried to get your father-in-laws attention as cops came over to collect the guys.

“You’re dead! Do you hear me? Dead!” Clay shouted as the officers began cuffing the men.

“Hell yea you are. Done.” Tig shouted. Jax looked back in a complete panic and in the break, you ran towards him as tears poured down your cheeks.

“You just signed my fucking death warrant.” He told Stahl as he pulled against the officer to be able to kiss you once more. “Don’t let my son forget about me.” He said as he was dragged away.

“Never. I love you.” You called after him as he was loaded into the van.

“Always babe, always.” Stahl walked up next to you and handed you the blue file.

“Well that’s unfortunate. So obviously the boys will be out in three years, if they don't kill anyone and get caught. Parole in 14 months. My official statement that says Gemma wasn’t in the house during the shooting has been submitted so she is free to go.” She smirked at you as the doors to the van were closed behind the convicts and sighed. “Your mother-in-law was right. There is no trust between law enforcement and criminals.” You watched the van drive away and your heart broke for the man you loved. As it rounded the corner, you heard the low rumble you were waiting for and a smile crossed your face.

“See… that’s where you’re right.” You let out an ear piercing whistle and the woman cringed as Crowley popped up in front of you.

“About bloody time. She believed it, I see.” He said and you nodded.

“Leave the man in the car, my boys and me. The cops are yours including her.” You reminded him for Stahl’s benefit. He gave you a short nod and you stepped forward and sealed the deal with the King of Hell.

“What is this?” Stahl asked while pointing at Crowley as the flat bed to take the bikes home pulled up behind your car. Two prospects sped past you to catch up to the boys headed to prison and to tip them off that the club’s plan worked; that Stahl believed the club thought Jax was outed as a rat and that she had been running the show when in reality, the club was two steps ahead and she was now dead.

“This is SAMCRO’s… insurance policy. Like you said, there is no trust. She’s all yours.” You said as you turned and walked toward the flat bed to get out of the way.

“Sick ‘em, boys!” You heard Crowley shout. As you climbed onto the bed of the truck with Opie and Chibs, the area around you was suddenly filled with low growls before shrill screams filled the air. Cowley strolled over casually as Stahl was ripped to shreds before your eyes by an invisible monster. “This is how you reach me when you have business for me and you lot are only to deal with me.” He said as he handed you a fire red business card. “It’s been a pleasure as always. I’m leaving Juliet with you for now to finish the last one and my men will be around to clean up the mess shortly.”

“Thank you again, for everything.” He gave you a short nod and disappeared as the sounds of growling died down.

“I’ll never get used to that.” Opie said as he, Chibs and you jumped down to get Jimmy.

“You’d be surprised.” You heard the low growl of the hellhound begin to follow you and both men jumped at the noise, causing you to giggle. “Oh lighten up, ya big babies. They’re just hellhounds. Now remember; maim as badly as you want. Don’t kill or we lose the soul and I’m a dead woman.” Chibs nodded as he pulled open the back door of the squad car and yanked Jimmy out. 

His feet hadn’t been on the ground completely before Chibs grabbed two knives and gashed his cheeks open in a Chelsea Grin; the same thing, you had learned Jimmy had done to Chibs years ago. You and Ope stood back and let Chibs take out all his hatred for the man that had taken his family and claimed them as his own. Just as you were about to step in and stop him from finishing the job, Juliet let out a growled bark causing Chibs to finally back off. 

“No… NO!” Jimmy shouted as he realized his fate. Juliet pounced and began ripping him limb from limb. You looked at the boys and sighed.

“Alright let’s get these bikes loaded. I gotta get home to my son.”

“Didn’t realize you were working for Crowley.” A very familiar voice said and your heart clenched. You whipped around in complete shock to see Sam, standing against a tree, casually smoking a cigarette. Chibs and Opie both drew their guns as your jaw dropped.

“Sammy?” You stammered as you took a step toward your brother. “How…” As the reality hit you, you grabbed your gun and your angel blade from the back of your jeans and stepped back. “How are you here?” You demanded.

“I’ve been asking myself that for a while now. Here, save you the trouble.” He raised his hands in the air and walked over to you slowly before stopping a little over an arms length away. He extended his arm for you and bobbed it slightly. You quickly dragged the edge of the blade across his arm, drawing only a single line of blood. You lowered your weapons and looked at your brother as tears filled your eyes.

“Fuck… Sam.” You lurched forward and jumped into your best friend’s arm as he wrapped you in a hug. “God, I fucking missed you.” He nodded as he set you back down on the ground with a smile.

“I missed you too, (Y/N). Now, you need help with these bikes?” You nodded as you took a step back with a teary smile.

“Sam, this is Opie and Chibs. Boys, you remember my other brother, Sam.”


	8. Chapter 8

As you sat on the couch with Thomas contently watching the fish tank screensaver you had on your laptop while eating mashed kiwi’s and mango’s, you could tell there was something off about your brother. You knew Sam like the back of your hand and you noticed almost immediately that he was a little more distant than was usual and his smile didn’t quite meet his eyes. You bit your tongue as he told you and Dean where he had been the last few months but you could tell Dean was beyond livid.

“So that’s all of it.” Sam told his siblings as he grabbed his beer off the coffee table. You and Dean glanced at each other and you sighed as Sam continued. “But I actually came because I have a case and I need Dean for it, so sorry (Y/N), but we gotta go.”

“Whoa! Hang on! Dean’s not going anywhere right this minute!” You said as you sat up a little straighter. “Jax just went to jail today. Dean is…”

“Dean is a hunter, (Y/N). He’ll come back when we are done with this case…”

“That’s bullshit Sam and you know it.”

“Button, it’s…” Dean tried and you shook your head.

“Don’t De. You told Jax you would look out for me. We both know you were on the fence about the apple pie life here with everything that goes on with the club. We both know you take the tarp off Baby and Charming is just another dot in the rearview.” 

“Well… not really.” Sam said. “The Djinn I’m hunting is following me so he’s probably here.”

“You what?!” You shouted; startling Thomas who began to cry. “What have you done?”

“I need help. So I came for help.” Sam said as he took a pull of your beer. You picked up Thomas and shook your head.

“Sam… get out of my house. I am so pissed at you right now that I don’t even want to look at you. Dean, get him out and get the fucking Djinn out of Charming without drawing attention to yourself. I’ll call Ope or Chibs for protection.”

~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“How do you do it?” You asked Chibs as the two of you sat in your living room essentially as Djinn bait. “How do you keep going on without your family?” He shrugged as he passed you the joint you were splitting and shook his head.

“’s’not easy, lovie. Jus’ keep remindin’ yerself ‘e’ll be comin’ ‘ome soon.”

“He’s gunna miss so much.” You sighed; you were still having a hard time wrapping your head around the fact that it would be over a year before Jax walked through your front door again.

“Can’t look at it like that or ye’ll go mad.” He said as you passed him back the joint. “Take it day by day.” You nodded as the baby monitor you were using as a walkie talkie crackled on the table.

“Incoming through kitchen.” Sam said quickly; he was the look out from the front of the house while Dean was by the side door. You grabbed a baseball bat and triple checked that your skin was covered.

“Remember, no guns.” you told Chibs softly as the side door to the garage squeaked opened. You stood up slowly and raised your bat.

“FRONT DOOR! TWO INCOMING!” Sam shouted suddenly into the baby monitor. You had just enough time to spin in toward the man with symbols covering his body before you went flying across the room. 

Your house became chaos as Sam and Dean charged into the house and the four of you battled the three Djinn in your house. The boys only had one silver knife and barely enough lambs blood for one kill so you had to resort to brute force to kill the other two. The four of you had the upper hand in being prepared for the attack; in that you were completely covered but that didn’t stop the sheer strength and agility the monsters had.

“(Y/N/N), drop!” Dean shouted as you stood toe to toe with a Djinn, trying to over power him unsuccessfully with a lamp you had grabbed. You hit the deck seconds before Dean swung from behind the monster. You heard a sickening crack over Chibs’ Scottish taunting and the weight of the monster landed on you.

“Damnit De!” You shouted as you grabbed the lamp and awkwardly bashed it against the Djinn’s head.

“Two down!” Sam shouted as you heard a second Djinn hit the floor. 

“C’mon ye bastard!” Chibs shouted as he squared off against the last Djinn. He twirled the baseball in his hand with a mad smile on his face as the man started to glow blue. Suddenly, you heard someone call your name. You turned toward the noise and saw Jax standing in the doorway.

“Baby… run!” You said as you stood up and looked around the room at the chaos that was no longer there. You watched your living room burst into flames. Fear ripped through you as you went to look back at Jax and instead, you saw Cameron Hayes holding Thomas.

“Sorry love. ‘e’s not your son anymore.” He said as he turned and headed out the door. You went to run after him and the wall of fire increased.

“Tommy!” You choked as you tried to find a way to your son. “THOMAS!” Out of nowhere, Dean appeared before you and stabbed you in the heart. You gasped as your whole body lurched.

“Hey! Hey! You’re OK.” Dean said as you thrashed on your bed against him.

“No! He has Thomas!” you shouted as tears blurred your vision.

“Love, I ‘ave ‘im; ‘e’s right ‘ere. ’s’a’right.” You heard Chibs say. You sat upright in bed and scrambled to get to your son as sobs wracked your body.

“How… what happened?!” You shouted to the men in the room.

“The Djinn that landed on you got to you.” Sam said from the doorway. “We got to you just in time.” You glared at your brother full of hate and shook your head.

“Was it worth risking my life, Sam? Huh? Risking my son; our brother?” You turned your back on him and looked at Dean. “Did you get them?” 

“Yea… yea we got them. Living room is a little worse for the wear but…”

“De, I love you and I’m don’t want to have to do this to you but get him out of my fucking house and don’t come back with him.” Dean sighed as you gave your oldest brother a kiss on the cheek.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N).” Sam said and you shook your head as you sat down on the bed and looked at him.

“No you’re not because if you were, you wouldn’t have brought that shit show around your sister and nephew in the first place. You would have called when you came back from the cage. I don’t know who you are right now Sam Winchester but you are NOT my brother.” Sam simply shrugged and walked out of your bedroom without another word. You looked over at Dean with tears falling and shook your head. “Don’t worry about me. Chibs can stay here tonight if he doesn’t mind and I’ll move in with Gemma for a while if I feel unsafe. You are more than welcome to come back whenever you want… alone”

“Button, I’m really sorry about this.” He said as he stepped toward you and kissed your forehead.

“I know you are De but it’s not your fault… just, figure out why he’s suddenly such an asshole all of a sudden.” He nodded and kissed the top of Thomas’ head.

“Don’t be a stranger. Call me and keep me posted on my favorite sister and nephew.” You promised him you would and with a final sigh, he shook Chibs’ hand and left. You didn’t get up until you heard the front door close behind your brother.

“I’ll stay wit’ ye for a while if ye wish, (Y/N). I’m in the dorms anyways so it’s no skin off my back.” You glanced back at your friend and nodded as you headed into the nursery.

“I’d like that, actually if you don’t mind little man crying at unusual hours.” Chibs chuckled as you laid your son down for bed.

“Lassie, I’m a father, too. Wee lad couldn’t bother me one bit.” You smiled at the Scotsman and nodded as you headed toward the living room to clean up the mess you knew was waiting for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Well, you will never believe what you have missed so far.” You said as you passed Thomas to Jax and the two of you sat down at the table during your first visitation.

“Please tell me you didn’t burn the house down.” He teased as he looked up at you. You gave him a perfect bitch face and rolled your eyes.

“Not even close. First of all, Sam is back; we don’t know how but he is an absolute dick that has been banned from the house. Second, Dean moved out; I told him to go with Sam…”

“Wait, Dean moved out? So…” You held up your hand and giggled.

“Not even close to being done. So, since Dean left, Chibs has moved in, I’ve gone back to work at the shop and we hired a nanny.”

“Wait… hold on… So… what?” Jax asked as he tried to swallow all the news. You smiled and nodded. “So Sam’s alive, Dean is gone, we have a Scotsman in our spare room and a nanny.”

“And I went back to work.” You chipped in. “You got it.” He sat back and shook his head with a huffed laugh.

“I’m gone for less than two weeks and you move another man in our house. Little hussy.” You shoved his shoulder as he laughed.

“It was either Chibs helping out or I moved in with mom for a year. Want me to make that phone call?”

“No! No, Chibs is fine.” Jax laughed. “You and my mom are close but I think one of you would kill the other if you lived in the same house while raising Tommy.”

“We aren’t that bad.” You claimed. He raised his eyebrow and it only took you a moment before you rolled your eyes. “Ok, ok. We would kill each other.” The two of you laughed for a moment before an ugly weight fell over you. Jax searched your eyes as he reached up and brushed your hair behind your ear.

“How are you?” You nodded and pursed your lips.

“I’m alright.” You breathed before tears welled up in your eyes. You reached up and held your husband’s hand to your cheek and he rested his forehead against yours. “I’ve been sleeping on a couch in the nursery… well, trying to. It’s so weird.”

“Fuck… babe, I am so sorry.” He said softly as he brushed his thumb across your cheek, wiping away tears. “I never wanted this…”

“I know you didn’t but here we are.” You said as you brushed your fingers on the back of his hand and put your other hand on his arm under your son. “I know what I signed up for, Jax.”

“I should be home.” You nodded and looked up at him through your eyelashes.

“What, so you could watch me burn the house down?” You said trying to lighten the mood.

“Yea…” he huffed as he sat back and looked at you. “I’ll be home to man the fire extinguisher soon.”

~~~~~ LATE JUNE 2009 ~~~~~~~ 

“I need another container of helium.” You said to Opie as you blew up blue balloons in the Teller-Morrow parking lot. You looked around the half empty parking lot at the decorations that were already up. “Actually, make it two. Just in case.”

“Mrs. Teller? I need you to sign the releases for the bounce house.” You looked up at the man and sighed as you tied off the balloon in your hand and put it under your arm.

“I’m going to get the cake from the store.” Gemma said as you took the clipboard from the man and you nodded. “The butcher called as well; he said our order is ready, too.”

“I have Lyla on that.” Opie said as he grabbed the empty helium tank from the table and the other one from the floor. “She has to pass by there to get here anyways.”

“Isn’t she picking up Piney?” You asked as you handed the man the clip board and Opie shook his head as he put the empty tanks in his truck.

“No, I got him. I’ll grab him on my way back.” You nodded as you tied a string to the balloon under your arm. 

“Alright, drive safe.” You tied the string around one of the links on the fence and took a step back. It was Thomas’ first birthday and Gemma decided to throw a huge party for him. While you were happy to celebrate the occasion, it felt off that Jax wasn’t there. It had been a little less than five months since he got locked up and it still felt like you were living in an almost dream like state without him.

“Earth to (Y/N).” Happy said as he waved his hand in front of your face. You jumped and looked over at him with a smile.

“Sorry. Caught me in Lala land.” You joked as you took a break and grabbed your cigarettes off the table.

“Figured as much. I need to know where you want the prospects to start putting the coolers.”

“Oh… shit. Let’s do beers by the ring and sodas by the bounce house when it goes up by the garage. Hey, did Kozik ever get that wasp nest that was over by the swing set?”

“I think so. He’s in the club so I’ll go remind him if he didn’t.” You told him thanks as Chibs called your name and you turned toward the sound of your roommates voice.

“Look what the cat…” Your squeal cut off his words and you dropped your cigarette as you ran across the yard to hug Dean.

“God, I never realized how much I would miss you!” You said as you stepped back to look at him. He looked a little thinner, filled out a bit more and his hair was just a little bit longer but he still looked like the same old Dean.

“I miss you too. Now, I need you to listen to me because…”

“Hey, (Y/N).” Sam said gently. Rage ripped through your body as you glared over at him but before you could open your mouth to say anything, you got a real look at him. Sam looked broken; like he had gone toe to toe with every monster in the continental US and lost every fight along the way. His eyes were tired and sad and he looked almost… scared.

“Sam…” You said as you took a step over to him and brushed his usually shiny hair back. “What the hell happened to you?”

“We need to talk, Button.” Dean said as you cupped your brother’s face in your hands. Sam sighed and reached up to run his fingers across the back of your hand. You nodded and looked over at Chibs.

“Keep and eye on set up for a bit. If you need me, I’ll be in Jax’s old room. Oh! and when Nita gets here with Thomas, send her in to me. She texted me a little bit ago and said she was on her way.” Your friend nodded and you turned back toward the club house with your brothers right behind you.

“Who’s Nita?” Dean asked.

“Well, when you left, I had to fill in your spot at the shop. Since I have been a stay at home mom, I needed someone to watch Tommy while I was at work so I hired Nita. He’s walking now, by the way and it was the greatest thing ever. He took his first steps while we were at a visit so Jax got to see it. He has gotten so big, just wait till you see him.” 

You gestured for the brothers to head into the bedroom and you closed the door behind them. While Dean grabbed the desk chair, Sam almost nervously looked around the room and sat down on the floor against the wall by the bathroom and you noticed him press on his palm. You could see blood pooling against the bandage and you inhaled sharply at his self-mutilation. Dean looked up at you with a slight frown when you hadn’t moved away from the door before looking back at his brother.

“Yea, he does that a lot.” Dean said. You forced your feet to move and you crossed the room and kneeled in front of Sam as tears welled in your eyes.

“Sammy, it’s OK.” You tried as you put your hands on his to make him stop. He recoiled as if you had burned him and he looked up at you in panic. “Hey, shh. It’s OK; it’s me. It’s just me.” He shook his head as he looked over your shoulder briefly before looking back at you.

“He says you aren’t real.” He whispered as he continued to press on his hand. Your eyes searched his dull hazel eyes and your brow furrowed.

“Who, Sam? Who says I’m not real?” He squeezed his eyes closed and shook his head as his chin dropped to his chest.

“Lucifer.” A sudden knock at the door made Sam lurch back and slam his head against the wall.

“Dean, get that. Sam, look at me. Focus on me, I’m right here.” You put your hands on his jaw as Dean opened the door. You heard Nita ask for you and you looked over your shoulder. “I’m in here. That’s my brother Dean; can you just give Thomas to him, I’m in the middle of something.” She looked in the room at you and her eyes widened as she saw Sam panicking in front of you. You gave her a quick nod that you were alright and she nodded back.

“Ms. Gemma is looking for you as well.” She said as she passed your squirmy son to Dean. 

“Tell her Sam and Dean are in town and I am dealing with a situation with Sam. She’ll understand. I’ll be out in a little bit.” Nita nodded as she set your diaper bag on the floor and she pulled the door closed behind her. You turned back to Sam with a soft smile and gave his face the slightest of shakes so he would look at you. “Hey, right here Sammy. Look at me. I’m real and I’m right here. Hey, remember that time you and me snuck out of that motel in Texas and went swimming in that lake? The one with all the leeches?” His eyes focused on yours as he slowly nodded.

“You were scared they were going to suck all your blood out.” He said softly. You smiled and let go of his face as you sat down in front of your best friend.

“Yep. Now what about that time you convinced dad to let Dean take us on that vengeful spirit outside Tahoe.” You heard your son start to fuss and call for mama and you turned and looked at Dean. “Just put him down. He’s nervous around new faces.” Dean nodded and put Thomas down as Sam gave a weak huffed laugh.

“I still owe you for pushing me into that table.” You smiled as your son toddled over, threw his arms around your neck and hid in your throat. You maneuvered him into your lap so you could look back at Sam as Dean moved the chair to sit next to you.

“I saved your life, though by doing it.” Sam nodded again in agreement. “See, totally real. Asshat wouldn’t know those things, would he?” Sam shook his head and let go of the hold on his hand. You looked at your brother and sighed before looking up at Dean for an explanation.

“When he was pulled out of the cage, his soul was left behind.” You swallowed hard as you looked back at Sam who had managed to curl his tall, lanky frame into a ball as Dean continued. “Death managed to get it back and put up a wall in Sammy’s mind to contain it. Unfortunately, since the apocalypse, there is an angel Civil war going on. Cas’ foolish ass was trying to make a deal with Crowley to ‘borrow’ the souls from hell and when I tried to stop him, he broke down the wall.”

“Oh, Sammy.” You said as you reached out and ran your fingers through your brother’s hair.

“I’m OK.” He said as he looked up at you. You heard Dean growl as he stood up and you looked up at your oldest brother.

“He doesn’t eat; doesn’t sleep. He sees shit all the time…” You held Thomas to your chest as you got off the ground and squared off with your brother.

“And he doesn’t need you berating him for it. What he NEEDS is for us to find a solution to the problem, De.”

“And how am I supposed to do that and babysit, huh?” Dean asked loudly, causing your son to startle. You put your hand over his ear and kissed his forehead.

“Let’s get through this birthday party for your nephew today. You boys can stay at my house tonight and Tommy and I are going to celebrate his first birthday with Jax in the morning. Then I’ll come with you to help fix our brother, OK?” you snapped angrily. “I’m caught up enough with the shop and I know my mother-in-law would love the chance to babysit for a couple days.” You turned toward Sam, leaned down and took his uncut hand. “Come on. Let’s get this cleaned up before the party, OK?”

——

“Happy birthday little man!” Jax said as he walked into the visitation room. You smiled as Thomas toddled to his daddy and you swallowed against the nervous knot in your throat. You just hoped Jax wouldn’t notice… “Why are you wearing that jacket?” Crap.

“Sit down. I need to tell you a story.” You said as you glanced around the room. Jax paused and looked at you.

“Please tell me you aren’t leaving me.” You smiled and shook your head.

“Not in that sense. Can you sit down, please?” He sat slowly and you ran your hand through your hair. “I’m not leaving you but I do need to go out of town for a few days. Thomas isn’t coming with me, don’t worry about that; mom is going to watch him.”

“Why do you need to go hunting?” He demanded. You took a deep breath and propped your elbows on the table so you could block the story you were about to tell from any prying ears.

“Sam and Dean showed up at the birthday party yesterday; which I have pictures to show you. You remember when Sam showed up at the house the night you got locked up and I said he was being a dick?” Jax nodded. You grabbed the stack of pictures from the diaper bag, put them on the table and continued. “Well, apparently the person that pulled Sam from Lucifer’s cage accidentally left his soul behind.”

“I swear to God this world…” Jax grumbled as he grabbed a toy from the diaper bag to distract his son with while you talked.

“So Death, one of the four horsemen, got it out of the cage and put it back in Sam behind this wall. Well… long story short, some shit went down and Cas; that angel the boys know, pulled a dick move and broke down the wall. Sam slipped into a coma for a couple days and now he can’t eat, can’t sleep and Lucifer is haunting his every waking movement. Dean has had it up to here with babysitting…”

“So you are going to do it.” Jax finished for you.

“Just until we figure something out. Dean has a couple ideas but… Jax, it’s Sam.” Your husband sighed.

“Damnit babe… I don’t even know what to say right now.” You reached across the table and wrapped your hand around his wrist with a small smile.

“It’s gunna be OK. I won’t be gone long and you know Dean would never let anything happen to me.”

“Aren’t you gunna be dealing with the Devil?” He hissed quietly and you shook your head.

“No, hunny. Lucifer is in his cage. Basically… shit, think of Sammy on a really bad acid trip and the focus is the memory of Lucifer.” Jax grit his teeth, obviously aggravated with the situation before sighing and shaking his head.

“Fine. Be safe and come home to us.” He said as he looked down at his son who was repeating his most recent favorite word; ball.

“You know I will baby. I’ll be back before the next visitation.”

—— 

“I have been reminded why I hated road trips with you.” You told Dean as you got out of the Impala at Bobby’s house. He chuckled as you grabbed your old duffle from the floor board.

“Oh, it's not that bad.”

“Ha! 20 somethin’ hours of listening to side A of ‘Annoying as Fuck’ by Blow Me was a blast. Reminded me of listening to Thomas cry on repeat.” 

“Told you, Dean.” Sam chimed in as he grabbed his duffle out of the trunk. “Why do you think I bitch so much?” 

“You know what, I don't wanna hear it.” Dean said as he closed the trunk and headed up to the house. “You two don't know good music.”

“None’a ya idjits know good music.” Bobby said as he held open the screen door with a laugh. You stepped out of your brothers way so they could go inside and smiled at the man who was like a father to you. “Well… look at you hunting again.”

“It’s one ‘sort of’ hunt. Don’t get your hopes up. We both know I won’t be raising Thomas in this life.” You teased as you gave him a hug. You pulled away and kissed his cheek before digging in your bag. “I brought a couple pictures of him for you. He just turned one yesterday. When Jax comes home, we are gunna bring him up here on… better terms.” You looked into the house and Bobby sighed.

“It’s been heartbreaking to watch this, (Y/N). I thought he was bad without a soul but this…” You nodded in agreement before you both shook your head and went inside. You heard Bobby laugh as he looked through the pictures and you smiled as you dropped your duffle on the dusty floor. “Watcha feedin’ this kid; steroids?” He teased as Dean handed you a beer. You flopped down on the couch and got a little distracted by the particles of dust that suddenly danced in the light before you frowned.

“Nope but my roommate thought it would be hilarious to give him part of a pixie stick at his birthday party. I think he is still running off the sugar high.” You took a swig of your beer as the boys laughed before you cocked your eyebrow and gestured to your family friend with the bottle. “How long has it been since you’ve seen him? When we came up to pick up the Caprice?” Bobby nodded as he set the stack of photos on his desk.

“Bout then; so what 8 months or so?” You nodded as you sat back next to Sam with a small yawn.

“He’s gotten big and he just keeps growing.” You yawned with a small shake of your head. “I’m half tempted to find a spell to make him stay cute and small forever.”

“Yea but then you have to deal with changing him forever.” Sam said as he leaned back on the couch with his eyes closed. You glanced down and saw he was pressing on his hand once more. Your heart broke and you bumped his shoulder with yours so he would know you were there before reaching up and running your fingers through his hair lovingly. 

“Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m beat.” Dean said as he set his already empty beer bottle down on the coffee table. “We’ll start bright and early?” You looked over at the oldest Winchester and nodded.

“Yea; I’ve been up since 3am dealing with Rufus. I was just waiting for you idjits to get here before I went up.” You looked over at Sam, who looked positively terrified as he stared off toward the kitchen and you shook your head and looked at the other two men.

“I’m gunna stay down here for a bit. I won’t get much sleep without my boys anyways so I’ll start doing research.” Dean and Bobby looked back and forth between you and Sam and you gave them a reassuring nod. After a moment or two of hesitation, they both said good night and headed up stairs and you settled in to calm Sam down. You called out his name and moved so you were in his line of sight with a smile. 

“Hey, do you remember that dog we found in Michigan as kids? The mangy old thing with half his fur missing? I thought dad was gunna have a heart attack when we brought it into the motel room.” Sam’s eyes found yours and you could see him begin to focus on you a little more.

“The black one?” He asked to clarify as you scooted toward the corner of the couch and shook your head.

“No, the brown one. The black one was here.” You gently took a hold of his arm and pulled him toward you so he was laying down. He rested his head hesitantly on your thigh and you pulled a blanket over him. “We colored the black one with chalk and let it loose in Bobby’s room.” Sam huffed a laugh as you ran your fingers through his hair.

“I remember that. Can’t picture the brown… wait, the one missing half its tail?” You giggled and nodded as you looked down at him.

“Dad was so mad. He didn’t say anythin’ though which was the scary part. He just pointed toward the door.”

“I thought he was kicking us out even though we were like… what 5 and 7?”

“If that. You and I were some troublesome kids.” He laughed before he cringed away from something. You reached out and brushed your finger down his nose and smiled when he met your eyes. “Just keep listening to my voice, OK? Focus on my voice whether you think I’m real or not. We’ll fix this, Sammy. I promise but just keep focusing on me.” He nodded and rolled on his side to face your hip and hide from whatever was in the room. You took a swig of your beer and a deep breath as you covered his back with the blanket. Then you just started talking.

Every story and memory you could think of involving you and Sam as kids and teens came pouring out, one after another and you didn’t take your eyes off your brother once. You could tell it helped because there were moments where he almost looked like he was back to normal; the calm, amazing brother that you knew before the cage. Other times, you could see when you were battling the Devil. He would start to tuck his knees up to his chest and reach desperately for his hand. During those moments, you would rub his shoulder and back and simply talk a little louder; reminding him to focus on you, real or not. 

As you were starting to run out of memories around 5am, Sam drifted off into a fitful sleep. You changed tactics and went from stories from your childhood to stories of Jax and Thomas, hoping that your voice would be calming enough to give your brother even the littlest amount of rest. Bobby came down a short while later and you held your finger to your lips as you kept talking in the same soothing tone.

“He just fell asleep. Could you get me some water? I haven’t moved all night.” Bobby nodded as you went right back in to telling Sam about your son’s obsession with the fish tank screensaver you had. You left no detail out, no matter how menial they were, just to be able to keep talking. Bobby, who had made both of you instant coffee with cold water to not make a sound, sat behind his desk for a while and watched his self proclaimed daughter work miracles with the son he was slowly losing hope for. He shook him self out of his daze and started back on research. 

A little after 8, a large bang sounded through out the house and Sam nearly flew off your lap. You cursed Dean, knowing he had to have been the culprit as you jumped up and stood in front of Sam who was brandishing a knife you didn’t know he had with your hands raised.

“Sam look at me. Right here, Sammy.” You said as you tried to calm your frantic brother down. You saw Bobby move to get up and you held out your hand to hold him off. “Sam, do you remember…”

“NO! You’re not real!” He lunged at you with the knife and you spun out of the way just in time.

“DEAN!” Bobby shouted as Sam came after you once more.

“Sam! I need you to look at me. It’s your sister. I’m not here to hurt you.” He lunged quicker than you were expecting it and you felt the edge of the blade slide through your skin. “Mother fuck!” You growled as Dean barreled down the stairs. “Alright then; plan b.” Despite the sting in your side, you lunged at Sam and began to fight for the knife. You were suddenly grateful that Sam had been the one to teach you how to physically fight because you knew his style almost as good as your own. It took a minute to wrestle the knife from his hand and the gun from the small of his back before you kicked him hard in the stomach and sent him flying onto the coffee table.

“Hold his legs!” You screamed as you threw yourself on his chest and pinned his arms to his body with your knees before he could get back up. “Sam! Sam come back to me.” You said as you grabbed a cut on his shoulder and squeezed it on purpose so it would be painful. “Do you feel that? That’s real pain. Right here. Look at me Sam!” You shouted over his grunts as he tried to throw you off his body. He couldn’t focus, too far gone in his hallucination and your heart broke for him.

“Fuck… Sammy, I’m really sorry for this.” Without giving it another thought you pulled back and punched your brother as hard as you could. Almost like a switch went off in his head, his body went slack underneath you as he was knocked out cold. Tears suddenly blurred your vision as you brushed some hair away from his face before forcing yourself off his chest. “We need to fix this.” You said as you grabbed your pack of cigarettes out of your duffle and whipped the blood away from your lip.

—— 

“Fuck… Jax is gunna kill me.” You groaned as you sat on the hood of a rusty car in the yard smoking your third cigarette and looking at the giant gash across your side. You knew you were going to need stitches for it. You groaned and dropped your shirt as a whiff of sulfur flooded your nose.

“Well well, if it isn’t baby Winchester out hunting again.” You rolled your eyes as you exhaled your drag and looked up at the demon.

“It’s Teller. (Y/N) Teller. I’m not Winchester any more and haven’t been for 3 years.” He brushed you off as he walked up to you with cocky arrogance.

“I need a favor from you, darling.” He said as he lifted your shirt and looked at the cut on your side. You were too tired and emotionally drained to even fight it as you waited to hear the favor.

“My silence is your cue to continue.” You said after a moment as you took a drag off your cigarette. 

“I have a witch that is a right pain in my ass, killing my demons and I need her handled. I was going to ask your brothers but they seem… preoccupied.” You shook your head as you put out your smoke on the bottom of your boot.

“I’m not here to go on hunts, Crowley. I’m here to fix Sam.” You grabbed your cigarettes and slid off the car as Crowley chuckled.

“Yes, I heard about what the lovely winged dick did to Moose. Such a sad thing to watch him wither away like that.” You fought unsuccessfully to control your choked gasp and Crowley appeared in front of you. “What if I could fix him?” You stopped walking and stared at the demon.

“You… how?” 

“Well a lobotomy might work…” You growled and stepped around the demon.

“I don’t have time for your shit.”

“Not even if I could bring you Castiel?” You froze at the name you had been calling for the past hour and slowly turned back around.

“How?” He knew he had you and a half mouthed smirk spread across his face.

“I have my ways.” He said as he slowly walked toward you. “Now. If you kill this witch for me, I will bring you the Giraffe to fix Moose’s head. And I’ll throw in your side because I’m a nice guy.”

“Get Sam fixed first and you have yourself a deal.” He stopped nearly chest to chest with you and tilted his head to the side.

“You are so much more enjoyable to deal with over your brothers. More… level headed.”

“Do we have a deal? Sam then witch?” He gave you a short nod before placing his hand on your side over the gash.

“See you soon.” He leaned down and gave you a chaste kiss to seal the deal. You barely had enough time to register the slight scratch of his short beard before he disappeared. You blinked against the morning sunlight for a moment before you ripped your shirt up and looked at your side.

“Crap. Dean’s not gunna like this.” You grumbled to yourself as you looked at the spot that gash used to be. You quickly dropped your shirt and sprinted into the house just in time. “Dean, I…”

“Here you go, darling. One angel.” Crowley said as he popped up in front of you with a very pissed off looking Castiel in his grip. “Now, here is the location of the witch. Please take care of it immediately.” He handed you a small scroll of paper and in the time it took you too look down at it, Crowley was gone. You looked at the angel and scowled.

“I don’t care what you have to do but you did this.” You said as you pointed to Sam who was now sitting on the couch with an icepack on his jaw. “Fix him. He is a mess and it’s your fault.”

“It’s not that simple…” Cas started and you shook your head.

“Then you shouldn’t have done it in the first place. And as punishment for Dean? Seriously, who does that?” Cas looked ashamed as he turned and looked at Sam with a heavy sigh.

“I can’t change it…” he said solemnly as he took a step toward your brother. “… but I might be able to shift it.” 

“Wait, Cas what are you doing?!” Dean demanded as Sam suddenly focused on Cas in terror. Cas sat down on the edge of the couch with a sigh.

“Now Sam, this may hurt… and if I can’t tell you again, I am sorry I ever did this to you.” He said as he placed his palm on his forehead and your brother frantically tried to escape. The room was filled with Sam’s blood curdling scream as his face and eyes turned bright red and you grabbed Dean’s arm.

“My God.” Bobby gasped as the red light traveled up Cas’ arm and spread through his body. As if the look itself passed along with the glow, you watched the panic and fear leave your brothers face and appear on Cas’ as the angel pulled away. 

“Sam?” You called out tentatively. Your brother looked at you and you let out a sigh of relief when you realized he was looking at you and not through you for the first time in three days.

“Cas?” Dean drew your attention to Cas who was slowly backing away from Sam; terror written across his face. Dean moved to stand in front of the angel as you rushed to Sam’s side who began to apologize profusely.

“What should we do?” Bobby asked as he looked at the angel. The four of you looked at each other before Dean shrugged.

“Panic room? Just until we can figure out something better.” 

“What is better than this, De?” You asked as you looked at the angel you didn’t know all that well but your heart broke for him all the same.

“I mean… he doesn’t need to eat or sleep so he may be able to just ride it out?” Bobby said as he looked at Cas. With a heavy sigh you shook your head slowly and got up for a beer.

“It’s your call. I’m only here for Sam.”

——

“So what is this witch?” Sam asked as he looked at the small scroll Crowley had given you. You tossed your duffle on the back seat of the Impala against the door and laid down.

“Some bitch that is killing Crowley’s demons. He wants her handled.”

“So you volunteered us for the job?” Dean snapped. You propped yourself up on your elbow and looked at him in the rearview mirror.

“No, I made a deal with him to save my brother and for some reason, he likes me despite the fact that I hit him in the face with a statue.”

“He wants to fuck you.” Dean grumbled as you laid back down.

“Well then I will use that to my advantage because he makes an excellent business partner. Can we just get to Nevada and get this done? I wanna go home and sleep.”

“You don’t sleep at home anyways.” Dean retorted as you tried to make yourself comfortable. You looked at the back of the front seat and saw that Sam was already drifting off against the window.

“I get a couple hours a night. Tommy sleeps with me more nights than not anymore since Chibs is in your old room. Figured I’d be nice and let at least one of us sleep.” Dean stayed quiet for a moment letting the sound of the engine and the open road under the wheels be the only noise before he spoke.

“He’s coming home soon.” He reassured you softly. You couldn’t help but tear up at the thought of your husband.”You’re half way there.”

“Wake me up when we get to Reno.” You said as you rolled over on the back seat. You heard your brother sigh as he flipped on the radio softly and you let the sound of music conceal your tears.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“You know what this house reminds me of?” Sam asked as the three of you grabbed weapons and gear from the trunk of the Impala. You looked up through the over grown gravel driveway at the house in the distance and shrugged. “The Amityville house.”

“Oh God… the movie or…” You quipped as you spun an angel blade and tucked it into your boot.

“Oh, the real one for sure.” Sam said as he looked at the house. “God, (Y/N) what the hell did you get us into?”

“Fuck if I know.” You said as you cocked your hand gun and stepped back from the car. “I haven’t hunted since my honeymoon.”

“Where your own husband shot you. How’s that working out for ya?” He sassed as he closed the trunk and you scowled.

“Dean! Make him leave me alone.” You whined teasingly and Dean growled.

“Knock it off, both of you.” He said, and for a moment you saw your dad before you and not your brother. “(Y/N), you hold back a little. Sam and I will go in first.” You gave him a short nod and blinked a couple times to see Dean again and the three of you headed toward the house. 

You were surprised just how quickly you could slip into a hunter mind set. Your senses heightened immensely as your eyes didn’t stop searching the abandoned property. As the three of you walked onto the porch, Dean gave you the signal to wait there and keep watch. Knowing you were probably severely out of practice, you agreed with zero fight. As the Winchester brothers slipped in through the open door you moved to stand just off to the side so you could see the yard. You could hear the calculated foot steps of your brothers making their way through the house but there was something that wasn’t settling right with you.

Out of no where, the weather worn wood gave way under your feet and you crashed through the floor boards. You expected grass or dirt but met concrete instead. You gripped your gun tightly in your hand as you scrambled to get up but a sickening laugh filled the room you were in.

“Well well if it isn’t a visitor. And a human no less.” The witch said as you scooted back against the wall.

“DE! BASEMENT!” You screamed as your gun was yanked from your hand.

“That’s enough of you.” You saw a bright purple light fill the room for only a moment before your body crumbled to the floor and everything went black. Water splashing in your face moments later jerked you awake and panic tore through your body. You tried to flee as you were assaulted with the smell of sulfur and loud screams.

“Oh no, you aren’t going anywhere.” A man said in front of you. Your eyes flew open and you tried to look around but you found yourself strapped to a table. You looked at the jet black eyes of the man that spoke and your brain finally registered the flames that danced around you. You shook your head rapidly as you suddenly realized you were on a rack in hell.

“Where’s Crowley? I need…” A knife being plunged into your side stopped your sentence as bringing white pain ricocheted through out your body. 

“Silence. You don’t speak. You don’t move. You do nothing but accept your fate.”

“Please… Crowley…” The man jabbed the knife into you again, ripping a scream from your throat as tears poured down your cheeks. This wasn’t supposed to happen; not like this. You had to get home to your son… The man in front of you laughed as he set the knife down and picked up a smaller blade.

“You’re never gunna see your son again. Welcome to hell.”


	9. Chapter 9

The torture never stopped. Day in and day out for years you were cut, filleted, burned, beaten; ripped apart and put back together. You thought of only Jax and Thomas every single day; wondering if Jax was going to be OK without you, wondering if your son would grow up calling someone else mommy. The more you thought about your boys, the harder the demons would beat you but you never once let that stop you. You refused to let them break you no matter how much you wanted to just give up.

“How are they?” A cocky British voice said one random day. It took you a moment to place the voice and even longer to weakly hold your head up and look at the King of Hell. 

“Good, sir. We are getting very positive feedback…”

“Crowley…” You croaked only to have another layer of flesh peeled from your arm. The man only glanced over at you for a moment as he walked by before he came to a dead stop and spun toward you.

“Bloody hell? Why was I not told we had a fucking Winchester?” He roared as he snapped. The demon that was carving you up disappeared as Crowley stormed over to you. “How long have you been here?” He asked gently as he healed the seemingly never ending wounds on your body.

“Don’t… know.” You rasped, your voice dry and cracking from lack of water. “7… 8 years maybe?”

“Bollocks.” He grumbled as he snapped. The straps holding you to the rack disappeared and he carefully lifted you up. “I will take care of you lot in a moment.” He snapped at the demons as he stormed out of the room with you. You blacked out for a while because when you came too, you were lying on black silk sheets as Crowley sat down on the bed next to you. 

“Am I dead?” You groaned as he handed you a cup of water.

“Yes and no.” You drank greedily and he refilled the glass before he explained. “Your soul is in hell which means you are dead however you are still tethered to your body almost in limbo which is why you are able to still remember your boys despite the torture. Meaning…”

“You can send me home.” You said, your voice holding a lot more conviction as you finished the second cup of water. “How long have I been gone?” He shook his head as he took the empty water glass from you.

“Apparently my demons weren’t fantastic at keeping records so I have no idea how long I have had you. My guess from what you have told me is about a month.”

“The witch…” You said as you pushed yourself up in bed and you grit your teeth as every inch of your body protested. “Crowley, I tried…”

“The boys got her, darling. I’m startled that they didn’t inform me that they had lost you, however.” You started pushing the blankets back and gingerly scooted to the side of the bed.

“Look, I really appreciate you saving my ass but I need to get home to my son. Can you…?” Crowley nodded as he moved to stand in front of you.

“You should rest…”

“No.” You interrupted him as you found your feet and grabbed his arm to keep you upright as tears fell down your cheeks. “Please…” You looked up at him as your bottom lip trembled and he sighed.

“Alright. I’ll send you back to your body. I’ll pick you up topside and take you back home.” You nodded as you stretched up and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you.” You saw a slight blush creep to his cheeks and his brow furrowed.

“Alright, enough of that. This will hurt.” He placed his hand in the middle of your chest and with one last look in your eyes, he shoved you hard. Your sore body felt like it was soaring through fire for a moment before you came to a sudden stop. You gasped and opened your eyes. You took a moment to adjust to the suddenly too bright light as you tried to figure out where you were.

You were in a basement but it appeared as if the house on top of it was burned down. There were large chunks of charred plywood beams littering the expanse before you and you realized you were in the basement of the Amityville look alike house. You looked up at the spot where the hole you fell through was at the same time Crowley looked down at you.

“Plan on living in a hole then?” He snarked and you scowled.

“Figured I could decorate it with chunks of flesh like my last living space.” You crawled through the charred remains of the house as quickly as your body would allow as Crowley waited.

“Do you Winchesters ever ask for help?” He asked as you brushed your hands off on your jeans and walked through the remaining part of the door frame.

“Nope, dad wouldn’t allow it.” You looked up at him with a small smile and he chuckled.

“Your dad was an interesting man. I met him, time or two in my day.” You stopped in front of him with your eyebrow cocked.

“You knew my dad?” He shrugged as if uninterested.

“Yes, well he spent many years in hell before your brothers rescued him.” Your stomach turned at the memory of what you had just gone through and what your dad and brothers had been through in hell and you cleared your throat and fought back tears.

“Oh.. Umm can you just take me to Gemma’s. I can walk if it’s…” You didn’t have time to close your eyes before Crowley snapped and everything around you shifted. The trip was much shorter than the one to Ireland so it seemed like only the blink of an eye before you were in your mother-in-law’s driveway. You threw your arms around Crowley’s neck and whispered thank you before running to the house.

“Mom?!” You called out as you pushed open the unlocked front door. “Thomas?” You heard a loud screech that was followed by a glass shattering and a chorus of ‘mama’ repeatedly. Sobs of joy racked your body as you ran toward the kitchen just as Gemma was stepping into the hall.

“Oh, my girl.” She sobbed as the two of you hugged. “You’re alive. Thank God, you’re alive.” She pulled away and pushed you toward the kitchen where your son was attempting to climb out of his high chair to get to you. He already looked so much bigger than when you last saw him.

“How long have I been missing?” You asked through your tears as you picked him up and held him in your arms.

“Three weeks, four days. Sam called the shop and told me kind of what happened…” She lit up a cigarette and sat down across from you at the long table she used for family dinners. “He told us to just tell everyone you must have been missing because they couldn’t find your body after.” You nodded as you kissed your son’s forehead.

“So, long story short; we went after a witch who caught me off guard. She tried to kill me but couldn’t. My soul was in hell but from what Crowley said my body was like in limbo which is why the boys must not have been able to find me. He rescued me last night in hell time which is much faster than our time. To me, I was gone for like 8 years.” She gasped as you grabbed her pack of smokes off the table and lit yourself one.

“Are you alright?” You nodded as you took a long drag and looked down at your pride and joy.

“Just glad I didn’t miss everything. How’s Jax?” You asked as you looked up at her. She exhaled toward the ceiling and shook her head.

“A wreck. I actually have my visit today so we better get you home to shower and change quickly so you can take the spot. No offense, you smell like burnt hair and road kill.” You nodded with a weak laugh and took another long drag of your cigarette before putting it out.

“Thanks mom. For watching Thomas when I couldn’t.” She waived you off as you put your son on your hip and got up from the table while forcing yourself to keep your soreness from showing on your face.

“I knew you were coming home. You’re a Teller.” She came over and wrapped you in a hug. “Just don’t ever do that to us again.”

—— 

“Babe?” You looked up from the book you were reading your son at the sound of your husbands voice and tears immediately filled your eyes. You stood up so quickly, you sent the chair you were sitting in next to Gemma toppling over as you ran across the room and leapt into your husband’s arms. You cried against his neck as the two of you held each other as close as physically possible.

“Ground, Teller.” You heard a guard snap and you forced yourself to unwrap your legs from his waist as he crashed his lips to yours.

“You’re never going hunting again.” He said against your lips and you nodded as he cupped your cheeks in his hands.

“Trust me. I agree to that. I just got back from spending 8 years in literal hell.” He gave you one more kiss before he pulled back to say hello to his mom and his son. The three of you sat at a corner table and you told them everything that happened since the last time you were there as Thomas played with toys contently. You smiled to yourself when you realized you really did have an amazing child. 

“Yea, no more hunting.” Jax said as you finished your story and Gemma nodded in agreement. 

“Believe me. After that experience, I will stick to just being a mom and a wife. I’ve got enough excitement in my life. I don’t need anymore.” 

~~~~~~ LATE JANUARY 2010 ~~~~~ 

'Why does my house smell like boy?!' You groaned as you tried to clean around Thomas who had every toy he owned spread out around the house and Opie, Kozik, and Chibs who were helping carry in new furniture to finally replace the stuff that had been broken during the Djinn incident seven months before. You were ripping the contents out of your closet to wash everything when you found the main culprit. You crinkled your nose at the black back pack and carried it at arms length as Thomas came running into your room.

"Mommy fss." He said as he showed his fish bath toy. You smiled at just how adorable your child was as you picked him up and put him on the bed.

"Yea, baby boy. That's Thomas' fish; your fish." You opened the backpack and cringed as you were assaulted with the smell of body sweat and a hint of coppery blood. "Oh baby boy, your daddy is gunna be the death of me." You said as you grabbed the laundry basket and Thomas dive bombed the bed repeatedly with his fish in reply. 

"Did you know I asked him four times if he unpacked this bag?" You cooed more to yourself as you started throwing salvageable clothes into the laundry. "He swore up and down that he would take care of it and yet here mommy is..." Your words were lost when a red ribbon tied around some letters caught your eye. Your stomach turned at the idea that someone was writing love letters to your husband. 

"He better pray..." You whispered as you pulled the letters out of the bag. You exhaled the breath you didn't realize you were holding as you read over the note on the very top of the stack.

Jackson,

The truth about your father is in these letters.  
You should know John like I did.

-Maureen

You thumbed through the stack to see at least two dozen letters. With a sigh, you turned to put them in Jax's bed side table drawer for him to read before curiosity got the better of you. You sat down on the bed and pulled one at random out of the ribbon.

"One little peek won't hurt, right baby?" You asked your son as you opened the letter. Seeing a story, Thomas abandoned the fish and crawled over to sit in your lap. With a quick glance toward the hall and the nursery door, you recited the three little pigs as best as you could from memory as you read the letter to yourself. You couldn't stop your hands from shaking as you read the most damning accusations about your mother and father-in-law. When you finished the first one, you reached to read the next one as Kozik, a new patch from Tacoma called your name.

"Where do you want this?" He asked as he walked into the bedroom with a floor length mirror. You held up a finger as you faked a coughing fit to cover up the sound of the letters hitting the floor so he didn’t see them.

“Umm... ehhem. Just lean it by that dresser." He nodded as you went back to tossing clothes from the backpack into the laundry basket. 

"You OK? Need a glass of water or something." You giggled and shook your head.

"I'll grab it in a second. What I need is a husband that doesn't leave old sweaty clothes in a backpack in my closet." Kozik laughed as he turned and headed out of your room.

"The day Jax cleans up after himself is the day that I'll become Midas with his gold fingers.” He called out to you. When you were sure the coast was clear, you put your son on the bed and grabbed the letters. You looked around the room for some place to stash them and decided for that moment, under your mattress was the best place until you could come up with something better. You had no idea what could be in the rest of those letters but one thing was for sure. Maureen hid them from Gemma in Jax’s bag for a reason and you were going to find out exactly what your family was hiding.

~~~~~~ EARLY FEBURARY 2010 ~~~~~~~~~ 

The sound of metal scraping against metal made you cringe. You stood up from under the hood of the car you were working on to look at the all to familiar Mustang that you had already fixed at least a dozen times in the past four and a half years since you started working at Teller-Morrow. The man who got out of the car was more than familiar to you; not just because you fixed his alcoholic wife’s car so many times but because you saw his face once a week every week when you went to see Jax. Scott Carson; Warden of San Joaquin Correctional facility. The man was a notorious flirt and you heard enough rumors to say that he was also a cheater.

“I got this, boys.” You told the other two guys in the shop. You hiked up your jeans, silently praising yourself for forgetting to finish the laundry the night before so you had to wear your skinny jeans and tied the bottom of your shirt up at your navel. You had a deal in mind and you were going to need all the leverage you could get. 

“Morning, Sir. I see you had a fun night last night.” You said as you pointed to the car as you stopped next to him. You didn’t miss the way his eyes raked over you like they did every time he came in.

“Yea, Chelsea’s at it again. My insurance company is gunna have a field day.” You decided to use that tidbit of information in your favor and went fishing.

“What is this accident 14? I can’t even imagine what that would look like with insurance.”

“It’s not pretty, I’ll tell you that.” You nodded and looked at the car as you purposely reached over the back of your head and scratched your shoulder blades.

“Say Warden, I got a proposition for ya that will make both of us happy campers.” You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling as Scott’s wandering eye paused at your midriff. He cleared his throat as his eyes shot back up to you.

“What?” You gave him a sweet smile as you set the bait. You gestured to the car.

“How about I fix the car for free? You’ll only pay for whatever parts I need. And I won’t file it under the insurance, that way your insurance doesn’t go up.” You slipped your hands in your back pockets and purposely stuck your chest out a little more. Just like you knew they would, his eyes dropped down to your exposed cleavage almost purposely avoiding the tattooed wing that peeked out of your shirt. 

“What’s the catch?”

“You have my husband in lock up. I want one measly little 1 hour conjugal visit. You arrange that for me, you would only end up paying a couple hundred bucks for the car, insurance doesn’t go up ‘cause I don’t call it in and I get to see my husband. Win-win for both of us.” You held your breath and prayed that your partial nudity was distraction enough to cover up the fact that you were bribing an officer of the law. Scott’s eyes shot up to yours at your proposal and you fought to keep a sweet smile on your face.

“You’re Jackson Teller’s wife, right?” He asked. You nodded as you grabbed your bandana from your pocket and wiped off the sweat from the back of your neck and chest. Just like you hoped, his wandering eye followed the black cloth across your skin.

“One hour. That’s all I’m asking.” He met your eyes once more before looking back at Chelsea’s car and with a huge sigh, he rubbed the back of his head.

“When are you going to see him next?” Hook set, time to reel in the fish.

“Day after tomorrow. 10am.” He gave you a small nod as he looked back at the car.

“One hour. I’ll make it happen.” You forced yourself to contain your excitement as you lightly touched his arm.

“Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me.” He nodded as he handed you the keys.

“Just keep me posted on costs.” You gave him a short nod as he headed toward his ride and a moment later Gemma joined your side.

“What’s that about?”

“I’m gunna need you to take me off the official schedule for tomorrow.” You told her as Carson’s ride left the lot. You untied your shirt and let it fall down into place.

“What did you do?” She asked. With a giggle you looked up at her and shrugged. 

“Agreed to fix his car for cost of parts for a one hour conjugal. I think that’s a fair trade, don't you?” She laughed as you walked over to the car to look at the damage.

“You’re one lucky little minx aren’t you.”

“I’m a quick thinker, what can I say?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“No, wait… my wife…” You heard Jax say as he was being led toward the conjugal visit room you were waiting in. You swore in your head and mentally told your husband to stop talking. “Why are you taking me in here?” He demanded as the door swung open.

“You ask too many questions, Teller.” You said sweetly from where you were sitting on the end of the bed. “Thanks again for this Scott.” You told the Warden as Jax looked back and forth between the two of you slightly confused. “Last part is getting dropped off by FedEx today so it’ll be done by the time you get off work. $75 bucks.”

“Don’t call Chelsea to pick it up. I’m selling that damn thing. I’ll come by when I’m off.” He said as he unhooked Jax’s handcuffs. You gave him a short nod of understanding as he looked between the two of you and headed out the door. “One hour.”

“What did you do?” Jax asked as the door closed and buzzed to signal it was locked behind the warden. You smiled at him and leaned back on your hands. 

“Agreed to fix his wife’s car for free.”

“Why?” You cocked your eyebrow at him and giggled.

“You know… for a man who’s been locked up for a year you are taking an awful long time to realize your wife isn’t wearing panties for a conjugal.” As if a switch flipped in his brain he stormed across the room and captured your mouth in his. Every nerve ending lit on fire as you wrapped your arms around the man you loved and held him to you. You hiked up the dress you bought in New York to your knees and wrapped your legs around his knees. Your moan was lost in his feverish kiss. “Jax…” You breathed as you arched into him and pulled at his shirt.

“I know, babe.” He took only a half step away from you so the two of you could rip clothes off as fast as possible; the need to feel each other almost more than you could bear. As you stood before the man you loved stark naked, you smiled as you took in the man before you; the man that you loved with everything you had. The man that was all yours.

“Jesus Christ, I miss you.” Before you could even respond his lips were on yours as he picked you up and gently laid you down on the scratchy comforter. The uncomfortable scratch was quickly forgotten as your husband lined himself up. “Won’t last.” He groaned in your ear as you ran your nails up his back.

“Just love me.” He paused for a moment and leaned back to look at you with a smile on his face. You looked into his beautiful blue eyes and he gave you a small nod.

“I will always love you.” He pushed himself in slowly and you gasped at the perfect sensation. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he bottomed out.

“I love you, Jackson.” You whispered as you brushed his blonde hair out of his eyes. He began to slowly, roll his hips into yours as he slid one hand under your back and tangled his fingers in your hair.

“I love you, (Y/N).” The feverish desperate need that was there when you started had almost all but dissipated as he leaned down and kissed you. You felt at home for the first time in almost a year as you held the man you loved in your arms; enjoying a moment, you both didn’t realize how much you desperately needed. You had a brief thought of never wanting this to end before the distant sound of a walkie-talkie crackled and brought you back to reality.

“I’ll take my time next time.” He whispered against your lips as he moved his hand from behind your back to your hip. Your core tightened even more than it already was as he picked up an almost punishing pace; chasing the release he desperately needed. You refused to close your eyes as your hips matched his thrust for thrust; needing to feel every inch of him; the sounds of moans, grunts, swearing and each others names echoing off the brick walls.

“Jax.. fuck, Jax…” You moaned as he slid his hand between the two of you and found your clit.

“That’s it baby. Fuck, I need to feel it. Need you…” His words were lost in your shout as your climax ripped through your body. You arched off the bed toward his chest and your toes curled as you clung to him.

“Jesus… fuck!” He groaned as you clamped down around him and pulled a body shaking orgasm from him. He dug his nails into your hip as he spilled inside you with a guttural growl. The two of you clung to each other for a while, riding your high and savoring the moment as you ran your fingers through his hair.

“That’s why I agreed to fix his car for free.” You said with a laugh once you had caught your breath. “Although one hour is no where near enough.” He nodded as he hugged you tighter before forcing himself to pull away to get dressed.

“I don’t know if it was worth it or if it made it worse.” You nodded in agreement as you threw your dress back on and he flopped down on the squeaky bed.

“We have two more months, baby.” You reminded him as you laid down beside him. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close as you rested your leg over his.

“I want out.” He told you as you intertwined his fingers with his on your shoulder. “I don’t want to have to put us through this again.” You propped your chin on his chest to look up at him and your brow furrowed.

“Can you get out?” He shrugged as he played with your wedding band.

“I don’t know. I’m an okay mechanic with a GED and a great outlaw so it won’t be easy.”

“Well, I’m a great mechanic with a GED and a decent outlaw. One way or another, I’m with you, Jax.” He nodded as he hugged his arms around you tighter and kissed your temple. 

“I have two months to figure it out because I promise you, I won’t do this to our family again.” The two of you stayed quiet for the rest of the hour, just holding each other until the Warden came back. You tried to fight them but a few tears fell as Jax was being cuffed. 

“I love you.” You whispered as you brushed his hair back behind his ear. He leaned into your palm and kissed it lightly.

“I love you. This is gunna be over soon.” You nodded as you gave him one last kiss before stepping back into the room to wait for your escort out. 

“Be safe. Come home to us.” He nodded as he teared up. 

“Sorry kids. Time to go.” You nodded and blew him one last kiss as the Warden escorted the love of your life out of the room. You had to agree with Jax at that moment; you didn’t know if being with him for that hour made the last 12 months better or the next two so much worse.

~~~~~ EARLY-MARCH 2010~~~~~~~ 

“Well are you excited?!” Lyla asked as you sat in your bathroom talking to your best friend on the phone while staring at the positive pregnancy test in your hand. You nodded and giggled.

“You would think I planned it on purpose. Get myself a conjugal just to get knocked up.” You tossed the test in the trash but didn’t get up as she laughed.

“Well it was the luck of the draw. You already do such a great job with Tommy and you getting pregnant with a second couldn’t come at a better time. Timing is everything when it comes to babies.” A flash of something outside your bathroom door in your bedroom sent a chill running down your spine.

“Hey… someone’s in my house.” You whispered as you tried to lean forward to see into your room. “Let me call you back.”

“Want me to send Ope over?” she asked as you got off the toilet and grabbed the small hand gun you knew Chibs left behind the bathroom mirror.

“No, I’m good. I’ll call you back in a few.”

“I’m sending Ope like it or not, (Y/N).” You heard the phone call end and you put your phone in your bra as you walked over toward your bedroom. ‘Please don’t let it be supernatural.’ You thought to yourself as you cocked the gun as quietly as you could. ‘Someone also needs to make a silent gun.’ You paused at the door for only a moment to brace yourself before you pushed open the door.

“Stop or I will… Damnit, mom! You could have gotten yourself killed!” You said as your mother-in-law turned around at the sound of your voice and jumped back at the sight of your gun.

“(Y/N)! God, you scared me! Why aren’t you at the shop?” She asked as she tried to casually shut your bedside table drawer. 

“Nothing needed fixin’… why are you going through my drawers.” You said as you gestured toward the table with the gun still in your hand.

“Oh! I was just… looking for the baby’s birth certificate. I needed it for some insurance things.” You could smell the lie a mile away and your grip instinctively gripped the gun grip a little harder.

“No… you and I both know that his birth certificate is with mine and Jax’s in a safety deposit box not here at the house. So let’s try that one again.” 

“You gunna shoot your mother-in-law, (Y/N)?” She challenged as she eyed the hand gun.

“Do I need to shoot you, Gemma?” You squared off with her for a moment before she raised her hands in the air.

“I found this in your diaper bag.” She said as she gestured to her purse and slowly reached into it. Knowing she had guns in there, you raised the gun in your hands ever so slightly and prepared yourself just in case. Your stomach clenched as you saw the note from Maureen to Jax. “Now, I know there is more…”

“Not anymore.” You lied, forcing yourself to keep your eyes on her to not give away the copies that were taped beneath the dresser to your left. The originals were tucked away safely with your family’s birth certificates in the locked weapons box no one but you, Jax and your brothers knew about in the bed of your truck.

“Jax doesn’t need to see those letters, baby. So I need you to give them to me.” You shook your head and shrugged.

“I know Jax doesn’t need to see those letters which is why I got rid of them. The last thing he needs in his life is to find out his mother and step father killed his dad.” You heard the front door open and Opie yelled out your name. You called out that you were OK as you laid your gun on the dresser. “Don’t come into my house again like that. I could have shot you.” Her eyebrows flew to her hair line as Opie and Lyla came into your room. You smiled at your best friends and sighed. “It’s OK. Gemma was just looking for some papers for insurance. She didn’t know I was home.” You looked at your mother-in-law expectantly.

“Oh.. yes. Just needed Thomas’ birth certificate. Forgot I left it at my house. Silly me!” She tucked tail and left the room quickly and you let go of a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“Everything OK?” Opie asked as he put his hand on your shoulder. You nodded and smiled.

“She’s just a little forgetful. Thanks for checking up on me.”

“We were just gunna grab lunch… wanna come?” You glanced over at the clock and nodded.

“Yea. I can do that. Will you do me a favor and get Thomas up and changed for me? I need to make a phone call real fast.” She nodded and the two of them left your room. You shut the door behind them and quickly called the first person you could think of to protect your secret. The phone barely rang once before you got a face to face answer.

“Hello darling.” You turned and looked at the King of Hell, who you knew was currently not on the best terms with your brother and sighed.

“Can I ask you to do something for me?”

“Depends on what that something is, kitten.” You sighed, kneeled down and grabbed the manilla envelope with the copies in it and stood back up.

“If anything should happen to me in the next few months, give these to Jax.” You handed him the envelope and he flipped it open.

“May I?” He asked while gesturing to the letters.

“As long as you don’t ever tell him or anyone else what they say unless I tell you otherwise.” He gave a short nod as he pulled out the stack of papers and flipped through them.

“My my, these are interesting. You’re concerned…?”

“That my mother and father-in-law will kill me over the information in some of those letters, yes. I told her I got rid of them but I know she isn’t stupid. She won’t stop looking for them.” He nodded slowly as he put the letters back in the envelope and made it disappear.

“I can remove you and your sons from the situation if you wish.” He said as he gestured to your stomach. You went to ask him how he knew and a small smile spread across his face. “King of Hell, darling.”

“I can’t without Jax.” He gave you a small nod and sighed.

“You will have a two demon security team at all times. One for you and one for your son. No one will see them or even know of their existence.”

“You don’t have to…” You said as you took a step toward him and he simply raised his hand, palm out toward you.

“I insist. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to the only Winchester…Teller I could stand.” You smiled and nodded your head.

“Thank you, Crowley. I owe you.” You heard a knock at your bedroom door. You turned to look at the noise for only a second but when you turned back around, Crowley was gone.

“You ready?” Lyla asked as she held your wiggly son on her hip. You smiled and nodded as you took him from her.

“I am eating for two now so yes please!”

~~~~~~~~ EARLY APRIL 2010 ~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Who’s coming home today?” You ask your son as you and Chibs passed the chains of the swing gently back and forth between each others hands. A huge smile lit up the little boys face as he kicked his feet.

“Daddy!” He shouted.

“That’s right, baby boy. Daddy’s coming home today.” You smiled at him as you pushed him back toward your soon to be ex-roommate.

“Ye excited ta share the news wit’ Jackie?” You looked up and nodded as Chibs passed the swing back to your hands. It had been two weeks since you found out you were pregnant and you wanted it to be a surprise for when Jax came home.

“Yea. I’m glad to not have you and Opie having to keeping the secret from him. Lyla is sworn to secrecy by the unspoken girl code.” Your friend chuckled and rolled his eyes.

“Aye, lassies and yer ‘girl code’. Biggest crock of shite I’ve e’er seen.” You laughed as Thomas decided he was done with the swings and began to wiggle his way off the seat.

“Hello kitten.” You looked back at Crowley as you pulled your son off the swing with a smile.

“Well hey there… Fancy…”

“The ‘ell d’ye want?” Chibs demanded as he moved to stand in front of you with his gun drawn. You picked Thomas up, much to his disliking, and put your hand on your friend’s shoulder. 

“Hey, easy. I got this.” You said as you pulled your protector back with a nod. Chibs looked back at Crowley and scowled.

“Don’t ye lay one filthy ‘and on ‘er ye dirty English bastard.” Crowley smirked at him and raised his hand. Chibs began to panic and grab at his neck as an invisible force cut off his ability to breathe.

“I’m Scottish, you twat!”

“Ye lyin’ gobshite…” Chibs choked. Crowley squeezed his hand tighter and you stepped up to the demon.

“Let him go.” You said evenly to not cause anymore of a scene. Crowley didn’t release his hand and you growled and shoved his shoulder. “Now.” He glanced at you before scoffing and releasing his hold on Chibs throat. You heard your friend collapse to the ground and you turned around as he looked up and growled.

“Bastard… I’ll fuckin’…”

“Enough. Both of you.” You looked at the two men as Thomas thrashed around on your hip to be put down. “Now, Chibs. I got this. Crowley… just… stop being you for a second, please?” Still obviously pissed, Crowley gestured for Thomas so you could help Chibs up. As the pair walked over to the slide, you looked at your friend and sighed. You grabbed his arm and took a quick glance at his neck. “Don’t provoke him, please. I worry about losing you boys enough to not add death by demon to the mix.”

“Not my fault ‘e’s a right English cunt.”

“Will you quit! Jesus Christ… go walk it off for fucks sake.” He shook his head as he rubbed his throat and left the play area while grumbling under his breath. With a sigh, you turned back around to find out what the King of Hell could possibly want.

“Quite a show.” He said as he monitored Thomas climbing up the stairs. He had his hand out in front of him slightly.

“What are you doing?” You asked pointing to his hand.

“Keeping him on the stairs. King of Hell has it’s perks.” You nodded slightly as you watched your little adventurer explore.

“So, what can I do for you?” He glanced over at you.

“Your brothers have managed to find a cure for demons.” You glanced over at him and your brow furrowed.

“How do you cure a demon?” 

“It was a painful and unpleasant experience.” He looked back at Thomas and sighed as he watched the little boy stand up on the platform. “I had a son once. Many, many years ago. I wasn’t a good father back then; couldn’t’ve been with the witch whore mother I had.” He looked over at you and for the first time since you had known him, you saw a different man behind his brown eyes. “Did you know, when I was 8, she almost traded me for three pigs? Three! I was an attractive child. I could juggle. I was worth five pigs at least.” He looked back at Thomas and walked around to the front of the play set to watch him slide.

“Crowley…” He glanced up at you and gave you a weak smile.

“I need your help, darling.” You gave him a short nod as he squatted down and at the end of the slide and cheered as Thomas slid down. He helped your son to his feet and let him toddle back around to the stairs before he continued. “With this cure, I feel emotions once more. Emotions I never knew I could have even as a human. I want… I…” You put a gentle hand on his shoulder and gave him an encouraging smile.

“It’s OK.” You whispered as he held your son to the stairs once more.

“I want a family. I want to feel loved.” Your eyebrows flew to your hair line and your stomach clenched.

“You want me to…” He glanced over at you and saw your look of sheer terror and shook his head.

“No! No, darling. I would never ask that of you. I just…” He sighed and looked back at your son. “I don’t wish to replace, kitten. I just wish to feel the love of another. Being a demon prevents me from ever finding a romantic partner and there is something about you that I trust which is why I’ve come to you. Maybe, that is, if you could find it in your heart to trust an awful man like me, I could possibly… be an uncle?” You looked over at him with tears in your eyes. Your heart went out to the broken man beside you and you nodded.

“I have to talk to Jax and there would have to be some ground rules because I don’t know how much of the supernatural I want my children knowing about.”

“I completely understand.” He agreed with a nod as the sound of motorcycles rolled into the parking lot. You glanced over at your family and turned back to Crowley with a smile.

“You’re gunna be OK, Crowley. I can only imagine what you are going through but after everything you have done for my family, I will do my best to help you out as well.” The two of you walked around to the slide as Thomas got ready to slide down. Your heart swelled as Crowley hiked up his pants legs and crouched down at the end of the slide; cheering the almost two year old on. You looked over at Jax who was looking at you curiously as he put his helmet on his handle bars.

“Thank you, for considering it.” Crowley said as he handed you Thomas.

“Give me a couple days to talk to him because I know he has a lot to catch up on.” Crowley nodded as he made a small teddy bear appear and handed it to your son. “Can you say bye?” You asked Thomas as you waved at Crowley and looked at your son.

“Bye bye” the boy responded softly as he waved at Crowley.

“Blow him a kiss.” Thomas looked at you before stretching out and reaching for Crowley to give him a hug. You were startled as he was never this forward with strangers but the look of sheer joy on Crowley’s face as your son wrapped his little arms around his neck was one of the most beautiful things ever.

“Babe?” You heard Jax say as he headed over to the play ground. “Everything OK?” You nodded as Thomas let go of Crowley and began to frantically attempt to get to his daddy.

“Crowley just had a question for us. We can talk about it later.” You said as you walked across the yard and passed your son to his dad. Jax nodded as he glanced at Crowley with a head bob hello and took Thomas in his arms. “Welcome home, baby.” He looked back over at you and smiled as he cupped your cheek in his hand. “I have a surprise for you.” He chuckled as he pulled you in for a kiss.

“Oh yea?” He replied as he rested his forehead against yours and tangled his fingers in your hair. “And what would that be?” You smiled.

“Ready for round two?” You asked as you leaned back and pointed to Thomas. Jax’s eyes looked down at your finger before looking at Thomas, your stomach and back up at you.

“Are you serious?” You nodded as tears of joy filled your eyes.

“Found out a couple weeks ago. Figured you would rather hear the news out here.” He pulled you in for a bruising kiss and nodded against your lips.

“Yea, that’s a great welcome home present.” 

“Chapel. 10 minutes!” You heard Clay yell out. You rested your forehead against the love of your life’s and shook your head as Jax chuckled.

“Straight down to business. Just wait here. It won’t be long then we can go celebrate before Ope’s wedding.” You smiled as you gave him a chaste kiss. 

“Don’t tell anyone yet. Chibs knows because he saw the test in the trash… my mistake, and Lyla and Opie know because she’s my best friend and he’s yours.” He nodded as he reached over the short chain link fence surrounding the play yard and rubbed your stomach.

“This is the perfect welcome home gift.” You hummed in agreement and gave him a chaste kiss as he handed Thomas back to you with the promise that he would be right back. With a smile, you turned back to the play ground to see the King of Hell had disappeared. With a heavy sigh, you headed over to the slide and let Thomas play while you waited for church to be over; the conversation with Crowley still running through your head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“So what did Crowley want?” Jax asked as he laid on his side next to you in bed. He had himself propped up on his forearm and was drawing meaningless patterns across your bare stomach. You glanced up at him as you ran your fingers through his long blonde hair and huffed a laugh.

“That is the conversation you want to have after sex?” You teased he rolled his eyes and looked down at you and you shook your head. “Nothing… well… shit. My brothers found a way to cure demons.” His brow furrowed and you shook your head, interrupting his question before he even had a chance to ask. “Don’t know how. Apparently it was a painful and unpleasant experience that gave him feelings. He just wants a family; to feel loved and being a demon doesn’t give a lot of girlfriend opportunities. So he wants to know if we would consider letting him be Uncle Crowley to our sons.” Jax looked down at his fingers trailing across your stomach as he took in what you had just said. You waited patiently for him to realize that last statement and just as you were about to ask if he heard you, his head snapped up to look at you.

“Wait… sons?” You nodded as you placed your hand on his, flattening them both to your stomach.

“Sons. Crowley told me.” He looked back down at your hands as you laced your fingers with his. With a small chuckle he looked back up at you and smiled.

“Two sons. You’re getting a little outnumbered, mama.” You giggled.

“Yea and I’m not trying for a girl. Two is enough with our crazy life.” You gave him a moment to let the news settle before you gently pulled his hair so he would look at you. “So… what do you say to Uncle Crowley? It would make it so our boys would be the most protected children in the universe which is never a bad thing in our lines of work.” Jax sighed and shook his head slightly.

“I don’t trust him.”

“Do you trust me?” He nodded and you continued before he could reply further. “I trust him, Jax. He could have screwed us over in Belfast and he could have left me in hell but he didn’t. I’m not saying he’s our new babysitter right off the bat, I’m saying let him have a family. He has been alone for centuries, the family he had growing up was shitty and now he has all these feelings he doesn't know what to do with. Besides, it will be a good lesson for Tommy and baby Teller in love and acceptance of people no matter what, right?” With a growled sigh, he laid back on the bed next to you and pulled you on your side to face him.

“Fine, but I want one of us with him while he is with the boys until I say otherwise.” You smiled and gave him a kiss of gratitude. “But if he pulls anything…”

“You get first dibs on beating him and I get to kill him. Don’t worry, I know.” He chuckled as he swung his leg over your hip and pulled you even closer.

“Such a smart ass.” You grinned and cupped his cheek with your palm.

“And for some reason, you love me anyways.” After a gentle kiss, you rested your head on his arm and snuggled close, wishing that you could stay just like that forever but you knew it wasn’t possible. With a small sigh, you tightened your arms around him and kissed his chest. “Have you thought anymore about getting us out?” You felt his chest heave against your forehead and he kissed the top of your head.

“We got a good thing going with the Irish now. It's smart, under the radar. We'll be making big money this year. I just gotta hang out for a while and earn.” You closed your eyes and forced yourself not to shake your head.

“How long?”

“I just need to make some bank, set myself up with something.” You pulled your head back to look at him with a small shake of your head.

“Baby, we have places to go and Sam could get us set up with fake…”

“I wanna do this right.” He interrupted. “I don’t want to leave the outlaw life to start over as an outlaw.”

“Well I could get a job at shop to start off…” He shook his head.

“I'm not gonna live off my wife... I can't. Look, Clay's hands are going; his days are numbered. When he steps down, he loses sway, that's when I get out. And Gemma... she's just an old lady…” You closed your eyes and put your forehead back against his chest. 

“All this scares me.” You whispered. After over a year in prison for a gun charge, you could almost assume that the club was going to be watched and sticking around was just risky business. Jax sighed as he ran his fingers through your hair.

“I know... hey, you gotta trust me. This is all I have been thinking about for the last 14 months. I'm gonna finish up with SAMCRO, then we're gonna take our boys and we're gonna get the hell out of here. Start fresh somewhere. Be a real family.” You heard Thomas start calling out for mama over the baby monitor and you groaned as you fell back on the mattress.

“Just don’t leave us again.” You said as you rolled your head to the side to look at the man you loved as he got up to get your son. He nodded as he tossed you his shirt with a smile.

“Trust me, babe. I’m not going anywhere.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“You’re not leaving me right now… really?” You said as you bounced your sick son in your arms. 

“Babe, I have to be there for this run.” You rolled your eyes and sat down in the rocker as Thomas cried because the pressure of a sinus infection that had flared up like crazy in the few days Jax had been home from prison.

“Better be worth it leaving your pregnant wife with a sick baby.” You grumbled. By the slightly shocked look on his face, you knew you had gone too far. With a sigh, your head flopped back against the rocker and you looked at your husband who was leaning against the door frame looking extremely conflicted. “I’m sorry, Jax. I’m just overtired. I know you have to do this.” He shoved off the door frame and walked over to you.

“I know babe. I’m sorry I have to go. Call mom for a break; I’ll be back in a couple days.” You nodded as he bent down and kissed your forehead.

“Be safe; come home to us.” You said softly as you leaned up to give him a chaste kiss. He nodded as he headed out the door.

“Always. I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” You called out over your son’s cries as the front door opened and closed sharply. With a groan, you sat back and sent out a silent plea that the medicine would kick in soon.

“You can quit your shouting. I can hear you.” Crowley chuckled. You looked up unamused at the man who was standing in the doorway.

“I’ll sell you my soul so he gets better.” Crowley chuckled as he walked across the nursery.

“How about I do it for free, kitten.” He bent down and gave you a chaste kiss and almost instantly, Thomas’ screams turned into tired whimpers. You sighed in relief.

“Thank you! Where have you been for two days that you couldn't save us sooner?” You asked as you stood up and put Thomas in his crib.

“Your brothers had me locked in a dungeon and getting away wasn’t a possibility.”

“When did my brothers get a dungeon?” You asked as you shooed the King out of the nursery and headed toward the living room. Crowley shrugged as he sat down on the couch.

“They found some sort of bunker in Kansas. Monstrosity if I do say; however, it apparently has a dungeon.”

“Next time request a phone call.” You said as you flopped down on the cushion next to him. “I’ll straighten them out.” Crowley chuckled as he snapped a black cotton blanket that smelled like his cologne and a hint of sulfur out of thin air and draped it over your lap.

“Yes, because I’m confident those flannel clad morons won’t say no to a simple request such as that.” You hummed a laugh as you laid down on the couch to get more comfortable and looked at him.

“So, to what do I owe the pleasure of royal company?” You teased as you flipped on the TV for background noise.

“I wanted to ask you about the conversation we had the other day.” You looked down your body at him and smiled.

“Yes… you get Uncle Crowley status. Jax’s condition though is one of us has to be with you when you’re with either of the boys for now. He doesn’t trust you like I do but then again, Jax doesn’t trust many people.” Crowley nodded and tried unsuccessfully to hide his smile.

“That doesn’t surprise me one bit.” You heard the TV announce that the movie, Blow was coming on next and your head tilted to the side.

“Say Crowley… what do you know about the Galindo Cartel.” He sat up a little straighter on the couch and fully turned toward you.

“Why do you want to know about that?” 

“Umm… Jax… well the club, is doing some kinda business with them.” Crowley shook his head and muttered ‘bollocks’ under his breath.

“I have been working with the cartel for decades. I have the same deal with them as I do with the Son’s; they bring me a lot of business and I’m their hired assassin, essentially. They are not a laughing matter, (Y/N).” You sighed and ran your hand through your hair. “I also know they are on many of your crooked government's watch lists, which means that it would only be a matter of time until you are as well.”

“Fuck… that’s just great.” You groaned. “Can you see what you can find out on that aspect? And if you have one to spare, put a goon on Jax where he won’t see it?” Crowley nodded and pat your leg as he stood up.

“Give me a little time; I have some things to take care of first. Jackson will have a detail within an hour.” You nodded and settled into the couch before looking up at him.

“Please don’t have your guy posses one of my boys and don't let him hear you call him Jackson.” He chuckled as he straightened his suit.

“I wouldn’t dream of it. And I assume you could still preform an exorcism in your sleep?” You giggled and nodded.

“I can… did you know Sam can do it backwards to keep a demon in their vessel if they try to escape?” Crowley blanched and you laughed. “Yea, Winchesters don’t fuck around.”

“The bloody lot of you will be the death of me.” You smiled as you spread out across the little two seater couch.

“You think my brothers are bad, just you wait until you hang around your nephew for a while. Spawn of a Winchester.” You glanced up at him and smiled at the look of joy on his face as he disappeared to sort out hell.


	10. Chapter 10

~~~~~~~ MID-MAY 2010~~~~~~~ 

“What are you doin’ here?” Jax asked as you walked into the clubhouse with Thomas on your hip. With a quick kiss on the cheek paused for only a moment.

“Getting Lyla to take Thomas to get his nails done for girls day.” You said as you started walking toward the dorms.

“Not happenin’.” You turned around with a smile as you walked backwards.

“You wanna take him with you today? I think his kutte may be a little too small but he’s getting faster on his Little Tyke trike.” Jax laughed as you turned back around and headed toward Opie’s room. You knocked on the door just as Opie was opening it up.

“I heard you saying Tommy is riding with us on a run today?” He teased as he let you into his room to collect his wife.

“It’s either that or he’s getting his nails done. I told Jax to pick.”

“I think a soft pink would match his (Y/E/C) eyes perfectly.” Lyla said as she came out of the bathroom while she pulled on her shirt. You looked up at Ope and grinned.

“Just tell Jax we are painting his son’s nails bright hooker red.” Ope laughed as he kissed his wife.

“Yea, I won’t be that messenger. I like my face; prefer if it wasn’t ripped off.” You shrugged as the three of you headed back out to the club house.

“He’d sleep on the couch for the rest of his life if he did.” Your husband cocked his eyebrow at you curiously.

“Why am I banished to the couch?”

“For ripping off Opie’s face when he passes on the message that I’m painting your son’s nails hooker red.” He sighed and looked at his son with an apologetic look.

“Sorry son. Looks like you’re getting red nails because daddy made a promise to ride mommy as much as my Harley.” You whacked his arm as the couple people around you laughed.

“Who’s the smart ass now, Teller?” You gave him a quick kiss. He shrugged as he kissed the top of his son’s head.

“Have fun with your partner and a half in crime.” You smiled as you and Lyla headed out of the club.

——

“Shit…” you mumbled as you dug through your diaper bag to look for your wallet at the local smoothie cafe. “We gotta go back to my house. I must have left my wallet in my purse.” You looked up your best friend, who happily helped you out with paying for your smoothie as you snatched your rambunctious child off the floor.

“How are you gunna managed two of them?” She asked with a laugh as you both stepped to the side. You sighed as you dug around for the container of Cheerios. 

“Cigarettes and my medical marijuana card. That’s the only down side to being pregnant. Well… that and the morning sickness and getting fat. Be glad you don’t have children.” You said as the woman put your smoothies on the counter.

“Ope wants to try.” She told you as she grabbed them so you could hold your son and his Cheerios at the same time as you headed back to the car

“Do it! If you got pregnant in the next few months, your kid and my kid would be within a year in age; it would be perfect! Someone to suffer… I mean totally enjoy pregnancy with.” You joked as you put Thomas in his car seat. Lyla sat down on the passenger seat sideways to look at you.

“I’m kinda scared to with my job. I mean... I’m a porn star. You don’t see many pregnant porn stars.”

“True.” You agreed as you poured part of your smoothie into a sippy cup. “BUT that is also a fetish market. Might just be something to consider.” She nodded as you shut the back door and walked around to the driver side. “Hey… I gotta ask. Have you and Ope ever made your own porno?” She laughed as you started the car and pulled out of the parking spot.

“You can’t tell him I told you.” You gasped as you glanced over at her.

“No!” She blushed and nodded her head.

“We were both a little too high and a little too drunk. It came out really good though.” You looked over at her and smirked.

“Is it bad I wanna see it?” The two of you giggled and she shook her head.

“Not at all but Ope would kill me. Have you and Jax?”

“Mehh…” you shrugged “I mean technically, there is a good chance our conjugal was filmed. Does that count?”

“You should make one. They are a ton of fun.” You nodded as you turned onto your street. The moment you did, your entire body lit up with energy and the hairs on your arms and the back of your neck stood on edge. 

“Something's wrong.” You said as you pulled to the side of the road a few houses down from yours. 

“What?” Lyla asked as you reached for your diaper bag on the back seat to find your phone and gun as your eyes searched the surrounding area.

“I don’t know, I just feel it.” Your hand found the strap and you pulled it toward you. “Can you use a gun?” You asked her as you pulled a small revolver out of your bag. She hummed 'yes' as you checked to make sure it was loaded. You grabbed your phone and the keys to your weapons box and turned to her. 

“Stay here with Thomas and call Ope and Jax. In a couple minutes, a man in a nice suit is going to appear out of nowhere and stand by the car. I promise you, he won’t hurt you and I will explain after. Shoot anyone else that comes near this car, do you understand?” She nodded as she grabbed her phone from her purse.

“Wait, what about you?” You shook your head as you flipped open your cell phone and dialed ‘666’.

“Don’t worry about me. I can handle myself. Just tell Jax I called Crowley; he will know what that means. Lock the doors.” You hit send as you jumped out of the car and you heard it lock as Crowley picked up.

“Hello da…”

“I need help.” You said as you darted down the street toward you house. “Don’t know what it is but I need…”

“What’s wrong?” Crowley demanded as he appeared next to you. You stopped and pointed back to your car.

“Stand guard outside the car; Thomas and my friend are in there. I just have a gut feeling…”

“What about you?” You shook your head and smirked.

“I’m a Winchester; I can handle this. Just stay with Thomas, please. Jax is coming.” With a look of concern, he gave you a short nod and disappeared. You ran the rest of the way to your house. The moment, you hit the driveway, you crouched down and darted toward the garage. You could feel your adrenaline pumping as you unlocked your weapons box and grabbed your dad’s old Beretta and an angel blade. You locked it quickly and stowed the key in your bra as you headed toward the back door.

You could see it was left ajar but at a glance, you couldn’t see any damage. ’Demon, witch, shapeshifter…’ You began to list the monsters capable of doing that as you gently pushed the door open with the muzzle of your gun. Your house was trashed. Every cabinet and drawer appeared to have been opened and the contents littered the floor. You forced yourself not to think about the mess as you headed toward the living room.

‘No sulfur’ you assessed as you stepped over toys, books and DVD’s. You let out a mental sigh of relief when you saw nothing appeared to be broken. You thought you heard a clicking noise coming from the back of the house and you gripped the angel blade a little tighter and headed toward it. The guest bedroom door was open but there was nothing but a bed and an empty dresser in there and the drawers were hanging open. 

As you peaked into Thomas’ room, you saw nothing had been touched. Not a single drawer opened, nothing disturbed. The clicking noise got louder as you dipped into the bathroom to clear it before heading through to your room. You stepped over the contents of your bathroom carefully as the clicking sound got louder. From what you could see as you looked into your room, it was just as trashed as the rest of the house. 

As you walked into the empty room, you were met with the source of the clicking. Hanging by a noose made from one of your necklaces from your ceiling fan was a naked barbie doll. The weight of it was making the chain click against the glass light cover when the wind blew in through the open window. The Barbie was covered in red marker to make it appear to be bleeding and tied to its ankle was an index card. Your mouth felt dry as you reached out and turned the index card toward you.

“Babe?” Jax shouted as he came in through the front door and you gasp as you read the three word note. ‘You’re dead, bitch.’

“Jackson!” You cried as your knees gave out. You heard him come running as you fell to the bed in shock. He flew into the room and paused as his eyes landed on the doll.

“The fuck?” You looked up at him as he ripped the note down and you shook your head.

“I can’t.” You said more to yourself as you pushed yourself off the bed and walked toward the door to get away the message and to get to your son.

“Babe…” You spun on him and shook your head.

“No… Jax, I love you but I don’t know what you have gotten us into. I don’t even think you really know because this…” You said as you walked over and ripped the card out of his hand. “…this is not what I signed up for. Not only is my life being threatened but our unborn son’s life is as well. So I am going to go and ask a favor from Crowley to get some Goddamn answers and I want you to think about what’s more important, staying around a few extra days to earn or the lives of your family.” You turned on your heel and stormed out of the house; not paying any mind to Chibs and Tig who were standing in your hallway. 

You shoved your gun in the back of your pants and tapped the angel blade against your thigh as adrenaline coursed through your veins. You barely noticed you had made it to your car already but Crowley; seeing the angel blade gripped tight in your fist, stopped you with his powers to avoid being impaled.

“What happened?” He asked as you looked over at him. He reached out and gently took the blade from you. Tears started pouring down your face as you handed him the note.

“Can you trace that? See who wrote it?” He gave you a short nod as he read the note and you smiled weakly. “Just let me know. I gotta get out of here.”

“Your detail is doubled and I’ll be personally checking in.” You nodded at him as you walked around him and got in your car.

“What happened?” Lyla asked as you put your car into gear and pulled away from the curb.

“I’ll tell you in a minute. Right now, I just need to drive.”

——

“So you think it was Gemma?” Lyla asked softly as the two of you stood on either side of Thomas on the carousel at Pixie Woods in Stockton. You nodded as you glanced around; the only person even close to you was one of Crowley’s goons in the seats a few rows behind you. After spending an hour just driving and listening to the radio, you spent the last 45 minutes you had been at the park spilling everything to Lyla about the letters; trusting your best friend with one of your biggest secrets.

“It had to have been; that or Clay. She’s probably reeling because she knows those letters will drive Jax away or land her in jail.” Lyla took a step back to process and looked around.

“Yea, but do you really think…” She almost whispered.

“Think about it, Ly. With me gone, she gets Tommy and Jax all to herself. Keep in mind; she doesn’t know I’m pregnant.”

“Damn… that’s really messed up.” You phone started ringing in your back pocket at the same time Lyla’s did. You looked at the caller ID and saw Jax’s name.

“Damnit. Ope calling you?” You asked as she dug her phone out of her purse. She nodded. You knew that only meant that the two of them were standing right next to each other. “Answer. Five bucks says Jax asks to talk to me.” You said as you silenced your call and put your phone back in your pocket.

“I can see you!” You heard your husband shout. You whipped around and caught just a glimpse of him and Opie as the carousel passed. You heard Lyla giggle ‘busted’ as you took her phone out of her hands and answered it.

“What?” You asked as the merry-go-round turned so you could see Jax again.

“You ignoring me now?” He asked as the two of you glared at each other. You shrugged as he disappeared from view.

“Nope, it’s girls day. I’m spending time with my best friend.” 

“Don’t give me that. We need to talk about this.” You cocked your eyebrow as he came into view and smiled.

“Girls day.” You told him as you snapped the phone closed dramatically so he could see you. You handed it back to Lyla and a matter of seconds later, you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“We need to talk about this, babe.” You turned around to look at him as the ride slowed.

“Did you really just jump the fence of a kids ride? Couldn’t wait until the ride was over?” He shrugged as he walked in front of you and picked up his son and the diaper bag with a smug smile.

“Didn’t want you running off.” 

“I’m pregnant, wearing flip flops with a one year old and Lyla is wearing heels. Where in God’s name am I goin’, Jackson?” He shrugged as he stepped off the ride. You turned to look at your friend as both of you followed after him. “Can I kill him?” 

“No… sell his Harley. Hit him where it hurts.” You shook your head as an evil smile crossed your face.

“He could buy it back. I’ll just paint it hooker red.”

“If mommy touches daddy’s Harley with paint then daddy is painting grandpa John’s truck.” Jax said in a sing-song voice to his son as he led you toward the parking lot. With the threat to your four-wheeled child, you conceded. 

“Fine. Back to cold-blooded murder then.” You glanced over to Lyla to see her walking next to Opie with her arm around his waist and his around her shoulders and laughed. “OK, we get it. You two are adorable and in love. Just you wait; this will be you in four years.” You said as you pointed to Jax’s back teasingly. He flipped you the bird but looked over his shoulder at you. You could see in his eyes that no matter how mad or scared or upset he was, he still loved you. You gave him a small smile and a nod. He paused just long enough to let you catch up and he pulled off his glove and laced his fingers with yours.

“Get a room.” Ope said. You sighed and squeezed Jax’s hand as your phone rang once more.

“Yea?” You said as you pulled your keys from your pocket and balanced the phone between your shoulder and your ear.

“Kitten? Are you with Jax?” You glanced up at your husband as you started the car to get the air going.

“Yep. Staring at him right now.” You opened the back door of the car to make a bottle and mouthed to your husband who was calling; receiving a nodded response.

“I need to meet with the two of you. It’s extremely important... And your girl friend, Lyla Winston as well.” You paused your motions and looked up at your friend, who was pinned between her new husband and his bike with a smile on her face.

“Why do you need Lyla, too?” You asked nervously. All three of your friends turned to look at you; their faces showing the same level of concern as yours.

“It’s more of a face to face conversation. I need to wrap something up so if you would be so kind, just meet me at your house. And your demon detail will be a little more obvious now.” You heard the line go dead.

“We need to get to our house now. All four of us. I don’t know what it is but it’s not good.” You said, answering their unasked question as two plumes of black smoke came over and hovered above your car. “Demon detail; we gotta go.” Jax looked at the smoke for only a moment before taking control.

“Lyla, in the car. Ope and I will ride ahead.” You nodded as he buckled in Thomas and you quickly finished the bottle. “Do not stop for any reason. Stay close to me.” You looked up at him and nodded as he kissed the top of his son’s head before stretching across the seat to kiss you. As you got in the driver seat, you looked up to see two black eyed men standing in front of your car.

“What’s wrong with their eyes?” She asked as she put on her seatbelt. You turned the car over and shook your head. 

“That’s just how they are. Ignore them, that’s what I do.” She nodded nervously as the boys waited for you to back out of the parking spot. “Am I gunna die?” You looked over at her as you trailed behind your husband and his best friend and shook your head.

“No. None of us will let that happen.” You glanced in the rearview at the exact moment that the two demons that were standing in front of your car smoked out. Their clouds followed right behind your car and their meat suits fell to the ground before sitting up seconds later. Your heart and mind raced as you sped home; wondering what exactly could be after your family.

——

“So, I’ve traced the card.” Crowley said as the five of you sat around the table in your dining room. “And it’s not going to be pleasant…”

“Just tell us.” You sighed as you bounced your foot nervously.

“This card is actually one of two things that has happened today. Gemma Teller-Morrow wrote this.” He said as he set it down on the table. “Tracking spell led me straight to her house. On top of that…” He said as he snapped and a small monitor appeared on the table. “She attempted to make a deal.” The screen crackled to life and you saw Gemma standing in the middle of a crossroads digging a hole.

“How…?” You started to ask.

“I record all my deals for obvious reason’s kitten. Jax, Thomas and (Y/N) Teller or Winchester are all flagged names for deals which is how I heard about this.” You watched the demon appear, an older, quite handsome man, exactly Gemma’s type, whose eyes flashed red.

“My ex-daughter-in-law told me you make deals?” Gemma asked. Your breath hitched in your throat.

“She’s your ex-daughter-in-law now, is she? My records show (Y/N) is still married to Jax.” Gemma smirked and shook her head.

“Not for long. I want her dead. She has some letters that will rip my son and grandson away from me and I can’t have that.” Your stomach dropped as you got up from the table and leaned against the breakfast bar behind the group. Tears filled your eyes as Gemma continued. “Her little tart friend, Lyla, too. She probably knows everything.”

“Jesus Christ…” Opie said under his breath as Lyla began to cry.

“Were you told what a deal with a demon consists of? Ten years and then I come for your soul.” Gemma huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Gladly. 10 years with peace of mind.” The demon stretched out his hand with a knowing smirk on his face.

“Wait, that’s not…” You said as you pointed at the screen and Crowley nodded as Gemma shook the man’s hand and walked back to her Escalade.

“That’s not how you close a demon deal; yes, I know. Again, names flagged. You’re my family, therefore you cannot be harmed or killed by a demon deal.”

“What letters?” Jax demanded as he spun in his chair to look at you. You sighed and closed your eyes for a moment before looking at him.

“When we left Belfast, Maureen hid a stack of letters in your bag that your dad had written to her before he died. I cleaned out your bag a few months ago and found them. They were a lot of the same thing he wrote in his book but a couple of them nearly flat out said that your dad suspected Gemma of cheating on him with Clay and them planning to murder him.”

“And you kept them from me?!” He shouted as he jumped out of his chair.

“Yes because what kind of wife would I be to hand you those letters knowing what they said, huh? I would look like someone who was purposely trying to turn you against Gemma!”

“Where are they?” He asked, his voice low and threatening. You heard Opie stand up and call Jax’s name as he moved to tower over you. You wanted to cower back in fear but you forced the hunter in you forward.

“Do not think you can use size to intimidate me, Jackson. Be mad at me all you want but keep in mind, I’m 11 weeks pregnant and your mother wants me dead to keep those letters from you. I made the choice to not show you because I didn’t want to hurt you by damning the last blood family you have. Now excuse me, they are in my truck where they have always been.” You squeezed past him and headed out to the garage. 

The second you stepped out the door, your tears began falling. As quickly as you could you unlocked the gun box, completely took out the bottom drawer and collected every letter and envelope you had. You double checked the bottom of the drawer to make sure you had everything before replacing the drawer and locking the box back up. 

As you stepped into your kitchen again, you saw Crowley, looking over a burgundy file with another demon as Jax stood in the far corner, smoking. Opie and Lyla had left the table but you could hear her crying and Ope’s low voice trying to calm her. Without a word, you stretched across the table and dropped the letters in front of your husband.

“Jax, are you familiar with an Otto Delaney?” Your brow furrowed as you turned toward Crowley. You didn’t know the man personally but you had heard about the SAMCRO lifer enough times.

“Yea, what about him?” Crowley walked over as he flipped the pages into place and dropped the file open on the table on top of the letters.

“He just signed a deal to put the nail in a RICO case.”

“He what?!” Jax shouted as he lunged toward the file and Opie joined him a second later.

“So make that three things that have happened today.” Crowley said as he sat down at the table.

“Wait, what was the second?” You asked, dread seeping through your veins at even wanting to know.

“Well, as I told you before, darling; I am the Galindo cartel’s assassin. This morning, while I was watching the car, I received this.” He pulled out his phone and hit a couple buttons before laying it flat on the table. Your father-in-law’s voice filled the kitchen.

“I was told you were the one to call if I needed loose ends tied up? Mark is Jackson Teller. He’s threatening business and I can’t tolerate it and I need it done today.” The line went dead and Crowley picked up a bag that had been lying in the corner.

“Met him in a different meat suit. Ugly brute, that one is. Gave me this and your home address.” He said as he dropped the backpack purse on the table.

“Fuck, that’s Gemma’s.” You said as Jax pulled the bag toward him and opened it to reveal at least $25,000 in cash.

“Fuck!” Jax shouted as he shoved the bag and the folder away from him. You heard Thomas start to cry in his nursery and reality set in.

“Jax… we need to leave, like now.”

“How am I supposed to do that, babe?” He snapped as he turned back to you. “The club…”

“Fuck the club! Are you kidding me right now? Jackson we have prices out on our head and the club is going to be broken within the next 24 hours because of this RICO case. That is a life-fucking-sentence for both of us! We have the 20k from the first run…”

“The $30,000 in that bag.” Crowley chimed in. You both looked at him and he shrugged. “King of Hell; I don’t need money.” You gave him a small smile and nodded before you looked back at your husband.

“We have two different places we can go to lay low for a while until we figure out our next step…”

“Babe, I can’t leave…”

“Listen to me.” You said as you stepped past Opie and cupped your husbands cheeks in your hands. “If you stay, you will either be dead or in prison for the rest of your life by this time tomorrow. You will never be able to see your sons again and you will never be able to see me again because I’m not staying and neither is Thomas. And after hearing that she has a price on her head, my guess is Lyla is gunna want a safe place to go as well which would mean Opie is coming too. I know you don’t want to walk away from your club because it is your whole life but we do not have another option. We are at live or die. You promised me, Jax. Please don’t make me spend the rest of my life without you.” As he looked at you, you could see his entire world crumbling in his eyes.

“Brother, we are going with her. I gotta keep my girl safe and if I have a chance to miss a RICO party, I’m taking it.” Ope said behind you. Jax looked up at his best friend over your head as tears welled in his eyes. With a sigh, he looked back down at you and nodded.

“Go pack up. Meet back here in 30 minutes. Bare minimum and put your bike in the truck bed with room to fit mine, too.” You heard Opie mumble an agreement as Jax pulled you in for a hug.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered as your heart broke for your husband. He slowly shook his head against yours.

“Let’s just do this.” You looked over at Crowley and nodded.

“Thank you.”

“You’re family, kitten. Make sure you get everything you need out of this house. I will unfortunately be burning it to the ground to kill you. I have three shape shifters that will be taking your place and apparently I must find two more.” 

“Destroy this.” Jax said as he pressed his cell phone into your stomach. “Make sure I don’t call anyone or take any calls.” He grabbed the bag of cash, the file and the letters and stalked off as you sighed.

“He’ll be alright kitten. Are you going to the bunker?” You looked over at Crowley and nodded.

“Can you call them for me? I have to go pack my life in my hunters bag again.”

——

Jax didn’t say a word the entire 22 hour drive to Kansas. The two of you sat in near silence; the only noises made were the radio in the truck and Thomas talking away as he flipped through his books and played with his toys in his lap from the passenger seat. Although no words were said, the truck was thick with emotion and Jax refused to let go of your hand. As the bunker finally came into view in the full moon light, Jax followed Dean’s flashlight gestures past the Impala to park the trucks down in the garage. Sam met you inside with a giant smile.

“I was wondering when you would come and visit. Didn’t think it would be under such shitty circumstances.” You gave him a tired smile and a hug as Jax got your sleeping son out of the truck.

“Sam, this is Lyla and you remember Ope. This would be my half brother, Sam. Dean is the oldest…”

“Hey! You didn’t tell me you were bringing one of the Saffron Sisters!” Dean said as he came out into the garage. You decked him hard in the shoulder and shook your head.

“And obviously he is the most tactless as well. Help with the bags, dick.”

“Asshole.” He grumbled as he rubbed his shoulder.

“Jerk.” Sam said as he whacked his older brother on the back of the head.

“Bitch.” It took a minute to get everything collected from the trucks before the boys led you inside. The library you stepped into was huge but the first thing you noticed was the large display of knives.

“We are gunna have to do some Thomas proofing.” You said as you followed your brothers toward the bedroom. Jax took a look around and whistled.

“Yea, that’s an understatement.” Sam pointed out his room to everyone and moved a few doors down to another room.

“This would be (Y/N) and Jax. Right across will be Thomas once we clear it out.” He said as he opened the door and put the bags on the floor.

“And Opie, you’re down here.” Dean said as he stood at the end of the hallway pointing to a door to his right. “We tried to give everyone space away from each other but despite how big this place is, it’s kinda hard.”

“It’s not super long term.” You told them as you flipped on the light in your room. “Just long enough to wait out the heat then up to Bobby’s for a bit.”

“Can’t stay too long in one place until we see the full fall out of the RICO case.” Jax said as he came back into the hallway.

“What’s a RICO?” Dean asked.

“Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations.” Jax, Sam and Opie said in unison. You couldn’t help but giggle. Dean looked at Sam, still confused.

“Way for the government to punish organized criminals. Original use was in the 70’s to go after the Mafia…”

“Alright, I get it. No need for the history lesson.” Dean said as he brushed off his brother. "Well. It’s the middle of the night and we have a case tomorrow few hours away. Two bathrooms; one is first door on the left here.” He said as he pointed to his left. “I’m three doors down on the right same way. 2nd is back that way.” He gestured down the hall behind you. “One door before Sam but across the hall. Kitchen is that way as well. Just keep walking you’ll see it. I’m going to bed.” He turned on his heel and strolled down the hall without another word.

“He still does that?” You asked Sam who simply rolled his eyes.

"Just like dad. ‘That’s mine. Ice machine down the hall’.”

“I heard that!” Dean called out, his muffled voice slightly echoing off the stone walls.

“Idiot. If I’m not up, wake me before you leave.” You asked Sam. He nodded as he gave you a quick hug.

“I’m glad you’re safe. All of you.” He said as he clapped Jax on the shoulder. You all said good night before heading off to bed.

“I feel so guilty.” Jax said as he set up the pack and play you were grateful you thought to grab. You sighed as you dug though one of his bags to find a shirt to wear to bed.

“So do I baby. If we had another choice, you know I would take it.” He nodded solemnly as he took his sleeping son out of his car seat and laid him down for the night. He quietly looked down at his son and ran his hand over his head; letting it rest on the base of his head.

“If we get caught…” You walked over and wrapped your arms around his waist.

“We won’t. Crowley made sure our murders were all as legit as possible, this bunker doesn’t exist on any kind of records anywhere, Sam is gunna give us official public identities and change the registrations on both of the trucks and the bikes. We ride out the heat and go from there. I know it’s not how you wanted it, Jax but we got out in one piece.” He wrapped his arms around you and sighed as he held you close. 

“Just… tell me we did the right thing.” You nodded and took a step back. With a small smile you pointed into the playpen.

“Our sons will grow up with both parents in their lives and we got our best friends out alive, too. We did the right thing for us and that’s what you have to focus on or this will eat you up inside. I know how you are, baby. Just keep reminding yourself you did what was best for your boys and your wife.” He nodded as he pulled you back into his chest.

“Couldn’t have done it without you.” A smile crossed your face and you sighed.

“And I’ll keep doing it… Always.”

——

You laid in bed all night, listing to the unfamiliar sounds of the bunker as you replayed the last 48 hours in your head on repeat with Jax tossing and turning next to you. It took him hours before he finally pulled your back against his chest and fell asleep; but that same sleep seemed to avoid you no matter what you did.

Around 6 am, you heard the faint beep of an alarm clock. You smiled to yourself, knowing it was just Sam getting up for the day. You gave it a couple minutes to let him start his morning routine before you gently removed yourself from Jax’s warm embrace. As your feet hit the floor, you heard another distant alarm go off.

‘Ain’t no rest for the wicked.’ You thought as you crept across the room and headed into the dimly lit hallway. You followed the smell of fresh coffee toward the kitchen and you were a bit surprised to see Dean up and not Sam.

“Since when are you the early bird?” You asked him as you leaned against the door frame. Dean glanced back at you and chuckled.

“Since I lived with you. Had to get up early to get to the shop and it just kinda stuck. You look like shit.”

“Thanks, dick. Between worrying about Jax and the guys back home and listening to him toss and turn all night long, I didn’t sleep for shit.” You heard feet shuffling down the hallway and you looked over to see a zombie version of your brother.

“Well look at you, sleeping beauty.” He groaned as he ran his hand through his messy bed head.

“Coffee?” He grumbled. Dean pointed to the pot and handed him a cup.

“Button, you want one?” Dean asked as he grabbed you a cup. You smiled and shook your head.

“Can’t. Apparently caffeine is not good for you when your pregnant.” Dean looked up at you with his eye brow arched as Sam grumbled ‘congratulations’ as he walked past you and headed to the table.

“Again? What, one wasn’t enough?” You rolled your eyes and pushed off the door frame to look for something to drink in the fridge.

“Why are you such an asshole?” You asked rhetorically as your looked at a seemingly endless supply of beer. “And why is there nothing to drink in here?”

“Apple juice; middle shelf behind the kale.” Sam said as he leaned against the wall by the table. He had already downed at least half his coffee and seemed a little more awake. You scrunched up your nose at the idea of kale and moved it out of the way to grab the apple juice.

“Just so you know, I’m going to the store at some point to stock shit for us.” You told them as you sat down across from Sam and leaned back against the wall. “Thanks for taking in us strays.”

“You’re our sister; what did you think we were gunna do, let you die?” You yawned and nodded as you unscrewed the cap of the apple juice.

“I actually didn’t think you were going to answer Crowley’s call. I never know if y’all are on the outs or not.” You took a drink as Dean poured himself another cup of coffee and brought the pot over to fill Sam’s.

“I still think it’s weird you two are all buddy buddy. So what happened, anyways?” Dean asked as he put the pot back and sat down next to Sam.

“Long fucking story. Short version? My mother-in-law tried to make a demon deal to kill Lyla and I so she could have Jax and Tommy all to her self, my father-in-law tried to hire Crowley, the cartel assassin to kill Jax, and the news bomb of the RICO case against SAMCRO.”

“Wait… were you working for the cartel?” Sam asked, now apparently fully awake as he turned to look your way. You shook your head.

“I wasn’t. I’m just an old lady that supports her husband’s endeavors, kept the house clean and raised the kids.” You said repeating bullshit words Gemma had said to you years ago jokingly.

“Oh, for the love of…” Dean started to say loudly and you hissed at him.

“You wake my kid and I will kill you and if you wake Jax, he’ll kill you. Sun ain’t even up yet; to early for yelling. No, not working for the cartel. It was a temporary means to an end that went south. Jax and I had been talking about how to go about him getting out and us leaving Charming and the deal they had was gunna make us good money.”

“You could have just run a plastic scam.” Sam said as he got up to refill his coffee again.

“Jax wanted out of the outlaw life and didn’t wanna start a new one outside of Charming as an outlaw with scams.” You took a sip of apple juice and sighed. “Not like we are gunna have a choice on that one here for a bit though, unfortunately.”

“So what are you gunna do from here?” With a heavy sigh you ran your hand through your hair and turned toward the table to rest your elbows on it.

“Honestly, not a fucking clue. We had less than an hour to pack and skip town. I figured coming here would be the safest place to ride out the storm then maybe up to Bobby’s to work for him. We gotta start over completely and stay off the government radar since all five of us are technically dead. Canada or Mexico was an idea that crossed my mind to get over seas but I don’t wanna be that far away from you two and I also don’t want to raise my sons in a foreign country.”

“Sons? How do you know…?” Dean asked.

“Crowley told me. It’s fitting though; I grew up with boys and now I’m raising boys. Full circle.” You heard a soft, sobbed ‘mommy’ that seemed to be coming closer and you smiled. “And I already love the fact that Tommy is a total mama’s boy.” It took a moment before your exhausted husband poked his head around the corner into the kitchen.

“Sorry. He wants you.” You got up and pouted at your son as he stretched toward you and sniffled.

“Watsamatta baby boy?” You asked him as you held him to your chest. “Fresh coffee. Dean made it.” He nodded and tried to stifle a yawn as you sat back down.

“Thanks… and thanks for doing this for us, guys. Sorry for dumping this shit on your door step.”

“Forget it.” Sam said and waved him off. “After all the shit we’ve dropped on you two the past few years; this is nothing.”

“We’re used to running from the law.” Dean said as Jax sat down next to you and raised his cup in thanks.

“Well I know I can speak for all of us when I say we are grateful and we owe you one.” The boys nodded and stayed quiet for a moment, letting their coffee wake them up a little more.

“So what are you hunting?” You asked as you situated your son on your lap a little more so he could fall back asleep.

“Wraith down in Oklahoma. Son of a bitch is tearing through a community college.”

“That’s the wrist thing, right?” Jax asked as he glanced over at you.

“Yep. Tricky little fuckers. Ugly as hell too.” Sam said.

“Are you two idiots gunna need backup like the last time?” You asked from behind the apple juice container with a smug smile on your face.

“Listen here. We did not need backup; I had that shit totally under control.” Dean quipped. You and Sam both cocked your eyebrow and looked at him.

“Dude… I was handcuffed to a hospital bed about to get lobotomized and you were nearly drooling on yourself you were so poisoned. You most definitely did not have that shit under control.” You and Jax laughed and Dean glared at you.

“Shut up.” Sam glanced over at the clock and sighed as Dean finished off his coffee.

“Well, while I would love to continue this little chat, we gotta get going. I’ve got a card going for groceries so I’ll leave it here for you.” Jax opened his mouth to interject and Sam shook his head. “Nope. First trip is on us. Welcome to the bunker gift. I know the top cabinet to the right of the doorway has our stuff in it but feel free to use any of the other ones and feel free to move stuff around in the fridge if you need it. Thing is huge and probably full of nasty left overs. We’ll be back day after tomorrow.”

“Help yourself to the beer… well, not you, Button. And have fun Thomas proofing the bunker. Keep him away from the buttons in the room with the map table. We don’t know what more than half of them do yet.” Dean chuckled as the two of them got up from the table.

“Oh, and if you go to the end of the hall past Dean’s room there is a screen room with a projector TV. I’ll email you directions on how to work it.”

“Can you write down the Wifi password if there is one? We gotta pick up new phones in town today so texting is out.” You asked as you leaned back against the wall with your son peacefully sleeping on your chest.

“Yea, you got it. Text me when you get one you plan on hanging on to so I have the number.” You nodded at Sam and he gave you a small wave as your brothers left the kitchen. With a sigh, you picked your legs up and laid them across Jax’s lap.

“You look tired, babe.” He said as he rested his hand on your shin and lightly rubbed it back and forth. You nodded as you leaned your head back against the wall.

“Couldn’t sleep. Worried about you and the guys.” Jax sighed and nodded.

“Yea, same. It’s for the best though; there is nothing we could do to stop it, right?” He asked unconvincingly. With a small nod, you leaned forward and pushed his hair behind his ear.

“We did what we could. We saved our sons; at the end of the day, that’s what matters the most. And trust me, it’s not easy for me to say that either. Those guys were a family to me, too.” You cupped his chin in your hand and smiled. “Let yourself have a second chance, Jax. You deserve it. Take your time to grieve your loss but grow from it; use what the MC taught you and be a better man because of it. You have such an amazing heart, baby and right now, the world is at your feet.” He nodded subtly as he reached up and moved your hand to his cheek.

“Just don’t leave me… I need you.” You shook your head slowly as your head tilted to the side.

“I’m not going anywhere, Jackson Teller. You’ve been stuck with me since the day you picked me up in Nevada.”


	11. Chapter 11

“I think I’ve heard this song so many times, it’s actually starting to sound catchy.” Jax whispered in your ear as the two of you watched ‘Cars’ for the millionth time with Thomas. You huffed a laugh as you looked up at your husband.

“Scary thing, right? Now you know why I sing Disney songs so much.” You said softly… but not soft enough.

“No mommy!” Thomas shouted as he turned to glare at you for talking during his favorite movie. He blew a raspberry at you; his way of saying ‘shh’ and you tried not to laugh as you zipped your lips closed. You were laying between Jax’s legs against his chest and you could feel his silent laughter shaking your upper body.

“He get’s that from your side of the family.” You hissed quietly as your phone started buzzing in your pocket.

“Yea, that’s all mom right there.” You looked at the caller ID as you nodded.

“Yea?” You whispered to Dean as Jax ran his ringers through your hair.

“Why are you whispering?” He asked; his voice hesitantly soft.

“Watching Cars…” The animalistic growl that emitted from your son startled you and you unsuccessfully tried to hold back a snorted laugh.

“Go, before he loses it.” Jax said as he pushed you off his lap. You both burst into a fit of laughter as you nearly ran out of the screen room and into the hallway.

“Way to get me in trouble with my kid, De. You’re gunna learn real fast you don’t talk during ‘Cars’.”

“Don’t care. Hey, how pregnant are you.” Your smile dropped to an annoyed dead pan as you looked at your husband. With a small shake of your head, you held up one finger to answer his confused look and put the phone on speaker.

“I’m sorry, you broke up. Say it again?”

“How. Pregnant. Are. You?” Jax burst out laughing as you rolled your eyes at your brother’s annoying stupidity. You knew exactly what he meant but with a cocky smile, you leaned against the wall to fuck with him.

“De, I don’t think there are varying degrees of pregnancy. You either are or you’re not…”

“Damnit, (Y/N)…” You heard him say as the phone was taken from his hands.

“He means how far along are you?” Sam asked as Dean grouched in the background about annoying little sisters.

“I knew what he meant. Who phrases shit like that though? I’m a day shy of 12 weeks, why?” You heard the speaker get covered up as your brothers debated something for a moment before Sam got back on the phone.

“We need back up…”

“Absolutely not.” Jax said as he shook his head. “Last time she hunted with you, she spent 8 years in hell…”

“Whoa! So not our fault!” Dean shouted. Your lips tightened into a thin line as you glanced back at the TV room and with a snap of your fingers, you pointed down the hall.

“Not something I want my son to know.” You snapped as you stormed past your husband toward your brother’s room. You could hear Dean and Sam still attempting to justify the reason you were in hell as you gestured Jax into the room and closed the door behind both of you. “Alright, enough. First of all, what is the case?”

“So get this… a friend of ours, Jody Mills, has a 15ish deep vamp nest that is tearing through the outskirts of Sioux Falls. Her, Dean and I can’t do that alone. We are actually calling to see if you, Jax and Opie could meet us at Bobby’s to help?”

“Are you out of your damn mind?” You asked as you sat down on Dean’s unmade bed. “You want to send two guys who have never hunted into a fucking death trap?”

“We need the man power!” Dean said as you and Jax began your silent debate on your end. “Three of us aren’t capable of taking on that many alone and no one else is close enough or available to help out.” You bit the inside of your cheek as you looked at your husband. His anger was apparent on his face and he slowly shook his head.

“I’ll call you right back.” You said as you snapped the phone closed.

“You’re not going. You promised.” He stated simply as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“You aren’t going without me so either we both go or we send them into the fire alone.” 

“Babe, you’re pregnant!” He shouted and you shrugged.

“I also want a dog. Wanna bring up some more shit that isn’t pertinent? Just because I’m pregnant, doesn’t mean I’m a china doll.”

“And what if something happens?”

“Not a single one of you would let something happen and you know it. You think you and Ope are protective of me? Multiply it by a thousand and you get Dean and Sam. You know as well as I do that neither of them would call and ask their pregnant sister for help if they didn’t really need it.” You could tell just by the look on his face that he knew you were right but he still stubbornly shook his head. 

“No.” You got off the bed and headed toward the bedroom door.

“Let’s ask Ope what he thinks…” As you reached for the door knob, Jax moved to stand in your way.

“Why do you have to be so damn stubborn?” You laughed as you folded your arms over your chest and popped your hip.

“Really? Asks the man who is most definitely Gemma’s son with his stubbornness? You’ve met my dad and my brothers. Stubbornness is in both our blood. You know I’m right, Jax; they need help. I’ll stay behind everyone the entire time.” You watched his resolve break as he took a deep breath in and looked up at the ceiling.

“You’re going whether I agree to it or not, aren’t you?” He looked back down at you as you shook your head.

“No… if you really don’t want me to go, I will call and tell them we don’t think it’s safe. But they need us, Jax. Just like we needed them.” He took another deep breath and shook his head.

“I don’t like it… not at all.” You nodded as you took ahold of his wrists and pulled his arms away from his chest to pull him in for a hug but his arms hung at his sides.

“That’s hunting life, honey. Pregnant or not, like it or not, there is a job to do… Someone needs to save the people in that town…” You stayed quiet as he processed everything; giving him the minute to figure out the pros and cons. You knew Jax well enough to know that he wouldn’t say no to this; family was too important to him. After a couple minutes, he groaned a sigh and put his arms over your shoulders and hugged you closer.

“You stay behind me at the door. And call Crowley to stay with Thomas and Lyla… I don’t want her here by herself just in case.” You nodded and looked up at him. “You knew I was gunna cave, didn’t you?” You smiled and shook your head.

“In the five years we have been together, you’ve never been able to say no to me, baby.” He rolled his eyes and kissed your forehead.

“Yea, I know. That’s why my pregnant old lady is going hunting.” You smiled and gave him a chaste kiss.

“Go bring Ope and Lyla up to speed. I’ll call the boys and Crowley and pack us up. We’ll leave in twenty. Just tell him to pack enough clothes for a weekend; I have all the weapons we need in my truck.” He sighed and kissed you once more.

“You owe me for this.” You nodded as the two of you left Dean’s room.

“It’ll be fun, babe. Trust me… you’ll thank me after.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“You got Jody on the vamptonite?” You asked your brothers as you sat between Jax and Opie on the bench seat of the truck.

“Yea, she’s got it. Pulled two pints from a hit and run victim this morning.”

“Pays to know a cop.” Jax muttered and you nodded in agreement. Getting syringes of blood under the nose of morticians is never an easy task.

“How many machete’s do you have, (Y/N)?” Sam asked. You glanced back at the weapons box that took up almost half your truck bed.

“I think two. Jax and Ope both have decent sized Bowie knifes as well.”

“More than enough. How far away are you? It’s only 2 so we can probably knock this out today.” Dean asked.

“Hour.” You said as you looked over Opie’s shoulder at the GPS.

“OK… we are like 20 minutes ahead of you. See you guys soon.” Sam said. You all said good-bye and you tossed the phone on the dash. Opie, who had been silent for most of the ride tilted his head to the side.

“So blood slows them down but you have to decapitate them to kill them?” He asked, almost as if he were thinking out loud.

“Yep. For the most part when it comes to hunting, half of what you see in movies and shit is true when it comes to killing monsters.”

“What happens if you shoot them?” You shook your head.

“Nothing. They keep coming.” He shook his head and his brow furrowed.

“What if you shot them with the blood.” What he was suggesting clicked and your eyes lit up.

“That’s what the syringes are for.” Jax said and you shook your head.

“Pull over. I know what he’s getting at.” Jax looked at you and you pointed to the side of the road. 

“Do you think the blood would be too thick though? That’s the only thing…” He said as Jax pulled off the side of the road. You grabbed your keys and shook your head.

“Not with what I got to show you.” You shooed Ope out of the truck and the guys exchanged a glance before they both got out of the truck and followed you to the back. “As you both already know, my family is far from normal.” You said as you put your foot on the back tire and heaved yourself into the bed behind your weapons box. “Birthdays and Christmas came around, we didn’t get normal presents…” You found the key you were looking for and unlocked the back portion of the gun box with a smile. “… we got guns.” With a slight dramatic flair, you lowered the back panel to reveal that sniper rifle that laid in foam across the back. “Boys… meet Betsy. My 18th birthday present.”

“Holy shit.” Ope said in shock as he looked at the gun.

“Is that…?” Jax asked as he scrambled into the bed next to you. You nodded as you crouched down and undid the straps.

“.50 cal Barrett M82A1. Beauty, isn’t she?”

“You’ve had this in our garage for years and never told me?” He asked as you grabbed a magazine.

“Never came up.” You looked around to make sure the back road you were on was clear as you slid the magazine into place and cocked the gun. “Get down, babe.” You told Jax as you grabbed a set of ear muffs off the floor, stood and set up the rifle on the hood of the truck. You saw a medium sized tree a hundred yards on the side of the road and pointed to it. “Watch the tree.” You called out a little too loud as you spread your legs to shoulder width for balance.

You pulled the gun back into your shoulder and a peaceful and happy feeling washed over you as you lined up your shot. With a long exhale, you pulled the trigger and blew a hole through the middle of the tree. The sound of the shot was muffled music to your ears as the sound waves rolled across the field and you grit your teeth as the recoil slammed into your shoulder. Despite that though, you felt a calming piece at shooting again. You pulled off the ear muffs and looked at the men who were slightly stunned.

“Not even gunna try to lie… your old lady is turning me on.” Ope said as the two men stared at the hole.

“Yea, you and me both, brother.” You giggled as you removed the magazine and cycled the bolt to clear the spent round.

“Dip the bullets in dead man’s blood. Should slow them down a little bit.” You said as you put your gun back and locked the gun box.

“You think?” Jax asked as he helped you off the truck. “That’s a military issue sniper rifle.” How the hell did your dad get it?” You shrugged as the three of you climbed back into the truck.

“Same way he got all his guns; through an old ‘Nam buddy. We don’t ask questions like that.”

“You shoot distance with that thing?” Opie asked as you got back on the road.

“Farthest I’ve hit is a thousand yards in a gun range. Sam and Dean both hit the twelve hundred yard mark. I’ve never taken her out on a hunt before.”

“How do I not know any of this?” Jax asked.

“Well I mean it’s not like normal conversation. People don’t sit down for dinner all, ‘Hey honey, how was work? Oh, did you know I have a sniper rifle in the garage and I’m technically a Marine trained sniper? Can you pass the potatoes?’.” You glanced over at him and a half mouth smirk spread across his face as Opie chuckled.

“Smart ass.”

“You know what, just shut up and drive the damn truck. I gotta call Jody and see if she can get her hands on some rounds for me.” The two of you looked at each other with a smile and Jax put his arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his side.

“Alright, so maybe I’m a little less nervous about this now.” You rested your head on his shoulder and put your hand on his knee with a smile as he drove the truck over the South Dakota state line.

—— 

“Who’s swinging first, Jax or Dean.” You looked up from the blood drenched rounds you and Sam were loading into magazines with gloved fingers and looked at your brother. Dean was going through his own training session with Jax and Opie while you all waited for Jody to come back from recon. You shook your head and looked back down.

“Neither. Jax knows how mad I would be if he hit Dean unprovoked and so does Dean. Ope might. While Dean and him were friends when he lived with me, Ope sees Jax as a brother. Best friends since childhood. I’ve seen that man break another man’s jaw with one punch for talking shit to Jax at the club.” Sam’s eyebrows flew to his hair line and he chuckled as he leaned closer to you.

“Shit… maybe he should swing first. Knock Dean off his high horse for a bit.”

“Bro, I would pay money to see that.” You joked as you loaded the last round. 

“Dean! Be nice to your brother-in-law and his friend.” Jody snapped in her ‘mom-voice’ as she walked back up the path. Dean went to interject and she held her hand up. “They both look like they can handle themselves. Don’t need you up their asses.” You and Sam both snorted laughter as you took the full magazine from Sam and pulled your rifle toward you.

“Shut up.” Dean snapped at you and your brother.

“Do I need to mom-voice you, too, De?” You teased as you shut the tailgate of your truck and threw your gloves into the back.

“Don’t push it.” Knowing he hated to be ganged up on, you smiled at your oldest brother and bowed your head toward him in surrender.

“Alright. Three entrances; front and right side and an open loft. It’s pretty high up.” Jody informed everyone as they picked up their weapons.

“High, as in two, six foot four guys can’t push you and (Y/N) up there?” Dean asked.

“It may be a slight stretch.” The oldest Winchester nodded slowly before looking around.

“Alright. Jax and I on the side, Sam and Ope take front. Get the girls in the loft first then throw a rock or something toward the side. 5 count and go in.” All of you nodded in agreement as something began to irk you. Your brow furrowed and you shook your head.

“Something is off…” You said as the group started heading toward the barn.

“You know, it really weirds me out when you do that so don’t.” Dean said; far past brother mode at this point. Jax waited to walk with you and you shook your head.

“Just, stay close to Dean. I can’t…” With a small nodded, he shushed you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

“I know. It’s gunna be alright. I’ll be careful.” You nodded as you cocked the rifle in your hands and tried to ignore the annoying twist in the pit of your stomach. As the barn came into view, you forced yourself into hunter mode. Dean and Jax headed toward the right side of the barn quickly as Sam and Opie ran in front of the doors and made a cradle with their hands.

“Go first and find a spot. I’ll pass this up.” Jody whispered as she took your rifle. You nodded and stepped into their hands. At the end of a whispered three count, you were hoisted into the air. You grabbed the edge of the loft easily, heaved yourself up and took a look around. The decrepit building was dimly lit by the sun slanting through broken spots in the wood paneling. The platform you were standing on was short and while you could see a lot of the barn below you, you couldn’t see a single vamp.

“Looks empty.” You whispered as you crouched down and reached out of the open door to grab your gun. Your senses were on high alert as you laid it down next to you when suddenly, someone ‘tisking’ you from the shadows behind you sent ice water through your veins.

“Don’t remember ordering take out but I’ll never turn down a free meal.” You grabbed your rifle and spun toward the sound as the loft doors slammed closed behind you; trapping you in darkness. Your heart stopped as your eyes fought to adjust.

“Now! Go now!” You screamed as the woman’s footsteps ran toward you at an inhuman speed. You thanked God for your fast reflexes as you fired off a round into the unknown before you. You heard a female scream as the body hit the ground. The doors flew open below you with a bang, but as the barn was filled with light, you instantly wished for the darkness again. With giant, fang filled smiles, at least 6 vampires came out of the shadows and advanced toward you. Without thinking, you stood up and ran forward.

“Someone catch me!” You shouted as you leapt out of the loft with your rifle clutched to your chest. Jax had only seconds to get under you and you both collapsed to the ground from the impact.

“I am not OK with that.” He gasped as vampires appeared to pour out of the wood work; dancing along the shadows on the edge of the barn and leaping down from the loft.

“Yea, no fucking kidding.” The barn turned into gory chaos as the five members of the hunting party stood in a circle of sunlight around you, attacking vamp after vamp as they lunged toward the group. The sound of blood curdling screams and shouted directions were muted by explosive gun fire. You fired round after round at every vamp you could to slow the monsters down; the power of your rifle and the close proximity doing a lot more good than originally expected. 

The bloody fight felt like it lasted forever as more and more vamps fought to kill their next big meal. Your pulse pounded in your ears as you fought to stay alive and to keep your family safe. When the last stumbling vamp hit the ground; his body a good six inches away from it’s now rolling head, you cycled the last empty shell casing of your last round.

“Jax, get her out of here. We’ll clear it.” Dean said as he pat Opie’s arm and pointed toward the stairs. Your husband didn’t wait to be told twice as he grabbed your arm and spun you toward the door. He took your rifle for you as he guided you up the path next to him in an adrenaline fueled fog. It took almost a full minute before the severity of how close of a call that was fully hit you.

“Jax…” You whispered as your stomach turned; the reality that you were seconds away from losing your and your sons lives twisting in you like a knife. You ripped your arm out of his grip and he turned around as you threw up. You barely heard the clatter of the weapons he was carrying fall to the ground over the sound.

“It’s alright, babe. It’s over.” He soothed as he pulled your hair out of the way. You shook your head as tears began to pour.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” You sobbed between heaves; the guilt of agreeing to this hunt in the first place eating away at you. He didn’t say a word as he stood by your side; checking for any injuries or bites and gently rubbing your back until your stomach finally settled. Once you were done, he handed you the bloody weapons and picked you up bridal style to carry you back to the truck.

“I’m not sorry so you shouldn’t be either. They would be dead if we hadn’t shown up. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like how it went down and so help me, I will tie your ass to a chair if you ever think you are hunting while your pregnant again. But end of the day, we did our job and we are both OK.” You nodded wordlessly as he put you down next to the truck. You tossed your gun and the machete into the bed of the truck, not paying any mind to the blood that drenched them and your body. You heard the flick of Jax’s zippo and you looked over at him. You took in his blood soaked clothes and the small bits of flesh and blood in his hair and short beard and a small bubble of laughter broke your upset mood.

“You look like a horror movie victim.” He smiled around his cigarette and pointed at you.

“You don’t look much better, babe.” With a small shrug, you reached out and quickly snatched his cigarette; dancing out of reach as you took a drag.

“I almost died.” You said as you handed him back the cigarette. “I call that grounds for a drag, pregnant or not.” You walked back and dropped the tailgate of the truck.

“I will say this… that was one epic jump.” You giggled as he sat down next to you.

“Sorry, if I hurt you.” He shook his head and exhaled as he handed you the cigarette.

“You didn’t. Knocked the wind out of me though.” You passed him back the cigarette and smiled as you looked over at him.

“Do you realize we both literally fell for each other?” He smiled and leaned over to give you a chaste kiss.

“Had to make it cheesy.” You laughed and laid your head on his shoulder as he took your hand in his.

“I thought it was a cute sentiment, thank you.” You could hear Jody’s voice coming up the path and you picked your head up to look over at them.

“Final count was twenty-two vamps.” Sam called out as they headed toward you looking just as battle worn as you and Jax. “Winchester family record.”

“You guys OK?” Ope asked as he pulled out his smokes and lit one.

“Yea, we’re good. Little shell shocked.” You responded as Jax got off the tailgate. You could see the anger in his eyes and you quickly stuck your leg out to keep him back and prevent a fight.

“Look, I’m glad everyone’s all good and shit worked out, but I need this to be said officially. Do not call (Y/N) for a hunt while she’s pregnant again. That was way to fucking close and when she says shit feels off, listen to her. She does that shit all the time and she’s always right.” 

“No, totally agreed.” Sam said quickly as he purposely took a step forward in front of Dean who you both knew was quick to pop off when he was confronted. “I made a poor judgement call and it won’t happen again.” You reached out and grasped Jax’s shirt sleeve to pull off your guard dog.

“Hey, let’s just go back to Bobby’s, get cleaned up, have a few beers and call it a night. Call to check up on Lyla and Tommy and have Crowley come check the baby?” You suggested to the group as you used your legs to turn Jax away from your brothers.

“I already called Cas for that. He’s gunna meet us at Bobby’s.” Dean said as he walked over to the Impala and popped open the trunk. You rolled your eyes at your brother’s disliking for the demon but didn’t say anything.

“Well thank you all for your help. You guys have a good night; I have a hot bath, Netflix and a bottle of red calling my name. Keep in touch, boys.” You all said bye to Jody as you jumped off the tailgate and snapped it closed.

“Be nice.” You scolded softly as Jax lead you to the cab. He laughed as he opened the door.

“That was nice.” You climb in next to Opie who chuckled as he tossed his cigarette butt out the window.

“That’s Jax nice.” He said as your husband got in behind you. Your friend looked you over with concern. “Are you OK though, really? That was a pretty far jump.”

“Brotha… she literally fell for me.” Jax said as he started the truck as the Impala roared to life next to you.

“Really? You call me cheesy and then steal my line?” He shrugged as he got on the main road behind the Impala.

“It’s a cute sentiment.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m coming for that gun, De.” You teased as you and your brothers sat on the floor around the coffee table in Bobby’s living room. You had your back to the couch across from Dean and Sam was to your left at the end of the table facing both of you and the desk.

“Not if I come for that rifle of yours first.” Sam jumped in as you pulled on Jax’s black leather gloves.

“I still think you should have to use one of Bobby’s gun’s too. Using your husband’s is kinda cheating.” Dean complained.

“So not cheating!” You claimed as you tucked your gloved hands under your thighs.

“She’s never touched that gun.” Jax said as he sat down on the couch with a beer behind you between you and Sam to monitor. He handed Bobby, who was sitting in a chair across the table from him a beer.

“You idjits gotta come up with better forms of entertainment.” He chuckled as he popped the top and threw it in the general direction of the sink; missing by feet.

“Winchester family bonding. This is how we used to spend our Friday nights before (Y/N) looked old enough to pass as 21.” Dean said as he finished setting up the hand gun on the table at the angle he wanted it.

“Where you used to cheat…” Sam mumbled under his breath as he put his hands under his thighs under Bobby’s watchful eye.

“I didn’t cheat!” Dean shouted as Opie came back inside from the front porch after checking in on Lyla.

“You totally did!” You chimed as Ope took a seat at the head of the table across from Sam. 

“Lyla says she's glad everyone is OK and good night.”

“Thomas?” You and Jax asked at the same time as Jax handed his friend a beer.

“Asleep on Ree watching Lion King.”

“He totally secretly loves that movie.” You teased.

“Who the hell is Ree?” Bobby asked.

“Crowley.” You, Sam and Jax said as Dean flinched at the idea of the King of Hell in his house, baby sitting his nephew.

“Wow… didn’t see that comin’.”

“Can we get this going before my hands go numb?” You asked as you wiggled your fingers underneath you.

“Wait! Rules first.” Sam said. “Dean call ‘em out.” Your oldest brother sighed and rolled his head back to look at the ceiling as he listed the rules.

“First to field strip and put back together the hand gun wins. Once it’s stripped, you gotta place both hands flat on the table before continuing. First one to get the gun put back together and pull the trigger to show it works wins. Winner gets the bedroom and one weapon from the losers box.”

“No sabotaging someone else by taking their parts and throwing them across the room.” You said.

“And no rocking the damn table ‘on accident’.” Sam said as the two of you looked at your older brother; the Winchester that was notorious for cheating. He looked at the two of you and scowled.

“You guys are idiots.” He mumbled as he shook his head.

“Alright. Three count and go. My ass is going numb.” Sam said as he shifted his weight a little bit. “Opie, call it out.” The three non participants checked to make sure the three participants had their hands tucked under their thighs so there was no early starts and Ope nodded.

“OK, 3… 2… 1… Go!” The three Winchester kids scrambled to grab their guns and you almost instantly regretted choosing your husbands simply because of the need to wear his gloves.

“Oh, this sucks.” You grumbled to yourself as you pulled the slide off quickly and put it on the table.

“Quit bitchin’.” Dean mumbled his slide landed on the table. The bystanders watched almost in awe as the three of you set parts on the table at nearly the exact same time; all three of your hands hitting the table within a heart beat of each other. That’s when things got interesting. 

“Watch it Sammy.” You said, knowing what was coming almost at the same time it happened. True to Dean form, he hit his knee against the table and the whole thing lurched. You grabbed the spring for Jax’s gun before it could roll away and smiled as the guys all protested. Unfortunately for Dean, when he hit the table, the spring to Bobby’s Beretta went rolling off the table toward your lap.

“Son of a bitch.” He shouted as he put the pieces of his gun down on the table in forced forfeit. 

“Serves you right.” Sam said as the competition became between the two of you. You shook your head and giggled.

“Sorry, Sammy. You. Still. Lose.” You pulled the slide into place and pulled the trigger a second before Sam did with a victorious smile on your face.

“You suck.” He said as he put his guns down. You handed Dean the spring from your lap and smiled, victoriously.

“Hand it over, bro.” You said as you pulled off the gloves and rested your elbow on the table with your hand out in front of your brother. He grumbled as he pulled his prized Colt M1911A1 from the back of his jeans and put it in your hand.

“You idjits need better game nights.” Bobby laughed as he got up and headed for the front door to lock up the front gate. You pulled yourself up onto the couch and bumped your shoulder against your husband. 

“Smoke then bed?” He nodded as he finished his beer and picked up his gun. You slid Dean’s gun across the table to him with a cocky smile. “Keep it. I got bragging rights which is ten times better in this family.”

“Yea well if my spring hadn’t rolled…”

“You mean if you hadn’t cheated?” Sam said as he started collecting empty beer bottles for the trash.

“It was an accident!” You shook your head as you headed out the the front porch with Jax just as Bobby was coming up the steps. He smiled at the two of you.

“So I wanna talk to the two of ya ‘fore I tuck in.” You nodded as Jax leaned against the banister and lit a cigarette. Bobby offered you a chair and you declined and sat down against the banister. He sighed as he flopped down on the chair in front of you. “Look, Sam kinda told me the situation you two find yourselves in and I wanna help.” You went to say something and he held up his hand and stopped you. “Nope, just hear me out.” You nodded as Jax took a seat next to you on the porch.

“You know I consider you and your brothers as my own; always have and I always will. You three are the closest to kids as I will ever get. Now, you also know I have the scrap yard an’ the shop an’ some how I’ve been designated as the huntin’ communities’ researcher and government official bullshitter. For one man old as dirt, that’s a lot to take on. What I’m suggestin’ is the two of you and your friends comin’ up here for a while and maybe helpin’ out. Since the Apocalypse, my business has taken a hit ‘cause I just can’t do everything all at once.”

“Wait, you’re offering us jobs?” Jax said as he sat up a little straighter.

“You boys help out in the yard and shop. (Y/N) can help with research and phones so she can watch the kids and… balls… the other girl…”

“Lyla.” You said with tears in your eyes.

“Lyla… Pretty name. She can help with the books for my businesses. I’ll pay cash so you’re under the radar. I know there are some other people in town who could use help here and there as well; all cash.” You shook your head and smiled as you placed your hand on his knee.

“Thank you but I can’t ask you to take five of us… soon to be six in this house.”

“Now, that’s the other part.” He said as he rested his hand on yours. “There’s something you should know. When you were just a baby, your dad went through a time where he didn’t know if he was gunna be able to raise all three of you on the road. He was gunna give you to me. You actually lived with me for an entire month after your mom dropped you off with him until he missed you and came back.” Tears slowly fell into your lap as Jax took your other hand in his for support. Bobby cleared his throat and wiped away a tear. “When that happened, I started a bank account for you as a safety net if you were too ever come back. Your dad and I have been putting money into it your whole life. He started ones for the boys too but they eventually went to guns. But yours is in my name so he couldn’t get to it. It was supposta be for college or a wedding gift but I think now is the perfect time.

The property next to mine ‘bout quarter mile down the road is up for sale. The lady who lived there went to a nursing home a year ago and she died last month so her daughter, Sharon is selling it. Big house on five acres; two story, six bed, four bath, two car garage. Little bit of a fixer-upper… There is more than enough money in the account to buy it and fix it up. Put it in my name since you two… well… since you’re dead and all, but it would be yours. Late wedding gift.” You and Jax sat in stunned silence as Bobby looked at you. After a moment he gave you a small smile and nodded his head. “I know; lot to take in. If you wanna look at it in the morning before you head back to the bunker, I’ll call Sharon. I’ll let you two talk.” He went to stand up and you scrambled up onto your knees in front of him as tears flowed freely.

“Thank you.” You whispered as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He nodded, fighting to hold back his own tears as he rubbed your back. After a moment, you pulled away and wiped away your tears as Jax shook his hand.

“Sleep well, you two.” Bobby said as he got up and headed into bed. You sat back down on the porch and looked over at Jax; your stunned look mirrored on his face.

“What do you think?” You asked after a minute. He shook his head slowly.

“Fuck, I don’t know. Let’s go talk to Ope and see what he says and check the place out in the morning.” You nodded as he stood up and helped you to your feet. He pulled you into a hug and you shook your head.

“Is this seriously happening?” Jax huffed a laugh, pulled away and the two of you headed inside.

“I’m still not sure myself.”

——

“So what do you think?” Jax asked as the two of you walked into the kitchen of the house you were thinking of buying.

“Kitchen needs a total remodel; new appliances, new counters and cabinets. I’d love to put granite counters in, maybe a tile back splash above the counters. Get rid of the linoleum and do wood floors. I mean, I love it Jax but that’s not the question that needs to be asked.” You said as you pulled yourself up on the island in the middle of the kitchen. “Is this something you can see yourself doing?” Jax sighed and leaned against the counter in front of you. He ran his hands through his hair for the hundredth time in the hour you had been looking at the house with Opie and Lyla, who Crowley was more than happy to bring so she could be part of the decision. 

“I don’t know babe. I won’t lie to you, I’m scared.” You nodded as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“What scares you?” You leaned back on your hands on the counter. He bobbed his eyebrows as he played with the toothpick he had in his mouth.

“Scared to hurt you. Scared that I’ll agree to this and then in a year I’ll wake up and resent you and this. I don’t know this.” He gestured his hands out to suggest the house and the ‘apple-pie life’ in general. “I know outlaw.” You nodded as you sat up and rested your forearms on your thighs.

“Look, I know it’s scary. Do you remember how I was when you first met me? I left the hunting lifestyle, lost two thirds of my family, got a full time job and slept in the same bed every night; I didn’t know how to do that. I didn’t know how to be a girlfriend or an employee very well. The first six months I was with you were really freaking hard on me. I missed the life, I missed everything I knew that I thought I wanted nothing to do with; but you wanna know what helped? You.” He sighed and put his hands on the counter on either side of him as you jumped down to stand in front of him. 

“You were there, helping me through the chaos in my head, helping me see what else the world had to offer. You showed me love and support… You showed me that the American Dream was possible for me. So now it’s my turn. You’re in the shoes I was wearing five years ago. You’re leaving the only life you have known your entire life to chase the white picket fence you have always dreamed of having. This is the life you said you wanted for your family. Good job, nice house… it’s all right here at your fingertips, Jax. 

It’s not easy to go from one extreme to another; trust me, I know, but you aren’t doing this alone. You have me and our boys, Ope and Lyla. Bobby, Sam and Dean, all of us are here to help you see that it is possible for you to have this life you want. And if in a year, you realize that you want something else, then me and my brothers will teach you how to hunt. Teach you how to be a different kind of outlaw. One way or another we are doing this together, Jax.” He sighed and pulled you into him. You rested your cheek on his chest and you both sighed contently.

“What would I do without you?” He asked as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and kissed the top of your head.

“Masterbate a lot, probably.” He laughed; the sound rolling through his chest.

“Smart ass.” You smiled and looked up at him. “Alright, let’s see what Ope says.”

“Wait!” You said as you pulled back and looked around. You saw a dust covered whisk in a jar and grabbed it.

“Here you go, Pres. Let’s get the first Teller-Winston family meeting going.” Jax laughed as he took the whisk from you and bopped it against your nose.

“Yea, should have had it tattooed when I had the chance.” You rolled your eyes and left the kitchen to find your friends. As you stepped into the front entry, you son nearly collided with your shins, giggling away as Crowley followed behind him.

“How does he have so much energy?” The demon asked as you picked your son up while Jax went to get Opie and Lyla.

“Really? You’re gunna ask that about the son of a Teller and a Winchester? That should be obvious.”

“Damn Winchesters will be the death of me. I just received a call and need to step away…” You nodded as you shifted Thomas to your hip.

“OK. If you want, you can just snap me his car seat and we can ride back to the bunker with the boys.” He nodded and snapped your car seat and diaper bag by the door as he waved to Thomas.

“Bye Ree!” Thomas shouted as he tried to use you as a jungle gym. The demon chuckled and disappeared as Jax, Opie and Lyla headed out of the bedroom they would be taking.

“Where’d he go?” Jax asked as you passed him your son and headed toward the living room on the other side of the entry way.

“Hell. So what…”

“Nope.” Jax interrupted as he pulled the whisk out of his back pocket. “Table discussion.” You laughed as you all filed into the living room to sit down on the sheet covered furniture. Jax cleared his throat as he put Thomas down on the couch and used his arm to keep him in place. “Alright, first official Teller-Winston family meeting. Question on the table is buying the house. Pros and cons; let’s hear ‘em.”

“This house is beautiful.” Lyla started and you immediately agreed.

“The bedroom spilt per floor is perfect for what our two families need right now.” You said and your girl friend nodded in agreement.

“Yea, about that.” Ope said as he glanced over at Lyla. “Look, this house needs some work. Bathrooms are outdated, electrical needs to get upgraded, floors and the hot water heater need to get replaced. Now, Lyla and I both agree that this house is just the start that we need; however, we have something to say about that.” Lyla reached her hand across the table and took yours with a smile.

“You guys saved our lives and we will never be able to repay you for that. If buying this house is what gets decided, then we are all for it.” She glanced over at Ope and your stomach turned a little bit. She glanced back at you with an almost nervous smile. “We don’t want to seem ungrateful for all of this but we just want to let you guys know. Ope and I want to start a family one day. We don’t know when but when that time comes we would like to have the option of getting our own place…” You and Jax let out the breath neither of you realized you were holding and you nodded.

“Oh, absolutely! Neither of you are mandated to stay here. We are making the decision to buy this house as a family because all four of us need it right now so today, it’s a family decision.” You said as you squeezed your best friend’s hand.

“Technically, this house will belong to (Y/N) so we will be living here… potentially forever. The reason we are asking you guys to join the decision in us buying it is not only are you our best friends, you’re our family. Neither of us wanted to make the decision to just move you out of the bunker to South Dakota for you.” Jax told them as he fought against Thomas, who was trying to climb over the back of the couch. “Moving here is what (Y/N) and I feel is best for the Teller half of the family for right now after Charming. The Winston half is more than welcome to come and live with us and when you feel it is time to move out on your own then go ahead.”

“Or, I can talk to my brothers and you can stay at the bunker for a while until you find somewhere else…”

“No.” Ope and Lyla said at the same time. You all laughed as Ope shook his head.

“No, you three are all the family we have left. We’re in if you are.”

“Get down!” Thomas screeched as he tried to climb over you to get away from Jax so he could get off the couch.

“Ok… hit the gavel thing.” You groaned as Thomas started getting even more fussy. Jax picked up the whisk from the table with a smile.

“Alright, alright. All in favor of us buying the house and moving to South Dakota, say ‘aye’.” Three ‘ayes’ filled the air as you grabbed your son around the waist and moved him to sit between you and Jax.

“Any opposed?” 

“Noooo!!!” Thomas screamed as he burst into tears when you didn’t let him go so he could get down.

“My son and his impeccable timing, everyone. Outvoted 4 to 1.” Jax looked up at you with a cocky smile as he raised the whisk over the table. “Looks like we’re buying the house.” Everyone cheered as the light, metallic twang solidified the decision.


	12. Chapter 12

~~~~~~~ EARLY JULY 2010 ~~~~~~~~~ 

“So we’re really doing this?” Jax asked you as you walked down the road between Bobby’s house and yours to start figuring out what needed to be done to fix it up and wait for the new furniture to be delivered. It had been a month since Bobby had told Sharon he would take it and after clearing it out and filling out the necessary paperwork, she handed over the keys that morning. You smiled as the two of you swung Thomas forward between you.

“We’re doing it, baby. We are starting over.” He smiled at you as you pushed open the gate and headed up your driveway. There was a giant red bow on the front door.

“Hell is that?” Ope asked behind you as everyone walked across the yard toward the porch.

“I mean… it looks like a red bow.” You sassed.

“I don’t know. I think it’s pink.” Lyla chimed in. You husbands groaned and Jax looked back at Opie.

“I think we made a mistake letting these two live together. I don’t know if the house can handle that much smart ass.” You whacked his arm as you all headed up the stairs. As you watched your feet around your growing bump, you noticed the wood steps you were standing on no longer looked weather worn; the porch looked brand new.

“Babe, look at this.” You glanced up as Jax pulled a note off the door. The four of you crowded around as you read.

The house looked like it needed a little work, I hope it is up to your standards. I had an alarm system installed for you and it is set. The panel is on the wall by the living room, code is Thomas’ birthday.

Welcome home, Teller-Winston family.

-C

“Crowley.” You smiled as you pulled the keys out of your pocket. Jax picked up his son as you unlocked the door with a deep breath. “Welcome home.” You pushed opened the door and gasped. The entry way looked the same but everything looked new. The tacky and stained carpet had been ripped out and replaced with hardwood floors. The walls were painted in the same blue as your house in Charming.

“Is this the same house?” Opie asked as Jax turned off the alarm.

“I think so.” Jax said as you turned toward the kitchen.

“He was listening.” You said as you walked in with a smile on your face. The kitchen had been redone. New brown cabinets lined the walls and complimented the pale, light green tile backsplash and granite countertops. You ran your fingers over the smooth surface and looked back at Jax, standing in the doorway. “This is ours.” He nodded with a smile as Lyla popped her head in the room.

“He must have listened to us as well. There’s a new fireplace in our room.” You smiled and followed her into her bedroom to look at the fire place as Ope walked in from another door. 

“He turned this room into an entire second master suite. Big bath tub, fireplace and a walk in closet.” Ope said.

“Wonder what he did up stairs then.” Jax said and the two of you headed toward the stairs.

“Well we already had a fireplace so who knows.” The wood stairs that previously creaked as you ascended them no longer made noise and as you reached the top, you turned toward the door on your right.

“Ready?” Jax asked as he grabbed the handle of the door. You nodded and held your breath as he pushed it open. Without the curtains that were previously there, the room looked so much brighter and bigger. You noticed right away that the closet that used to be a foot deep was now a walk-in as well.

“Bigger closet.” You said as Jax went into the bathroom.

“Babe!” He called out happily as he stood in the doorway. “Two words. Jacuzzi bathtub.”

“Oh hell yes.” You said as you walked into your bathroom to look at the tub. “That will be amazing after a long day of work.”

“And a lot bigger for both of us for those times I join you.” He stood beside you and put his hand on the small of your back.

“Little miracles. Let’s go see what he did with Thomas’s room and the nursery.” He nodded as he gave you a chaste kiss. You took your son from him and smiled at the two year old. “Let’s go see your room, baby boy.” You said as you propped him on your hip. “See what Ree did for you.” You walked out of your room and to the other side of the stairs. You could see another red bow and a card on Thomas’ door. Jax grabbed the card and read it aloud.

“‘For my nephew; I hope he likes it.’ Wonder what ‘it’ is.” He said as he pushed open the door. “Oh, no shit.” He said as he walked into the room with you right behind him. Thomas’ room was the only one Crowley had gotten furniture for; the most prominent thing was a twin size bed in the shape of a motorcycle. Your son, scrambled to get out of your arms in a fit of squeals.

“This is incredible!” You said as you looked at the painted mural on the wall behind the bed. It was an open road with trees and grass on one side and a lake on the other and it made it appear that the bed was driving toward mountains in the distance.

“He painted the reaper from my bike.” Jax said as he looked at the detailed bed frame. You smiled as you looked around the rest of the room and you teared up.

“He saved my rocker from the house.” You said as you crossed the room and ran your fingers over the imperfection in the wood on the armrest you had traced so many times before. Thomas began ripping toys off the shelves and bringing them over to his new bed unable to decide what he was more excited about. You grabbed your phone and recorded a little video of his excitement. “Tommy, can you say thank you to Ree?” You said as you pointed at the camera. He crawled off the bed and ran over to the phone with a smile on his face.

“‘Ank oo Ree!” He leaned forward and kissed the camera before running back to his toys.

“I gotta go get Ope to see this…” Jax said as you sent the video to Crowley.

“Jax…” He turned back to you half out the door and you shook your head as you walked over to him. “Just… watch him.” Jax turned to look at his son as you grabbed your husband’s hand and pulled him back into the room to stand with you. The two of you stood in the doorway watching your son as he played with his new toys, laughing and talking to himself in only half sensical sentences due to his excitement. After a moment, Jax wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder.

“We made that.” He said as your eyes filled up with tears. You nodded and leaned your head to rest on his.

“That’s our son.” Jax sighed and rubbed your baby bump before pulling away with a smile.

“Watcha got there, son?” He asked as he crossed the room and sat on the bed. Thomas handed his dad a toy car with a huge smile on his face.

“De!” You took a step forward to see what Jax was holding and you smiled at the tiny toy Impala in his hand.

“Good job, bud. That’s Uncle De’s car.” Jax said. You glanced at the rest of the toys and kneeled down next to the bed.

“Look, he’s got all of us. My truck, Ope’s, Bobby’s…”

“He’s got the crew’s bikes.” Jax said as he picked two up. One of them matched the bed the boys were sitting on but the other was most definitely the spitting image of Chibs’.

“Hey, truck’s… holy shit. Lyla, come see this.” Ope said as he came into the room, followed by his wife a few seconds later.

“Crowley. He based the bed off my bike.” Jax told Ope as he looked at the bed and found the toy bike he was looking for. “The toys are based off our bikes and cars as well. Thomas found Dean’s Impala first.” Lyla bent down and picked up Opie’s truck off the bed.

“These would have to be the coolest kids toys I have ever seen.” You nodded in agreement as the sounds of voices in the entry way floated up stairs. Jax moved to stand up and you shook your head.

“Nope, play with your son. Movers are more likely to listen to a pregnant woman anyways.” Everyone laughed as Lyla helped you up off the floor. You turned to walk away and Jax grabbed your wrist gently. You turned to look at his teary blue eyes and he smiled.

“Thank you. I never thought…” You nodded as his voice fell off and leaned down to give him a chaste kiss.

“I know. Now, it’s your reality. This is your life.” You kissed his forehead and smiled at him before heading out of the room. You paused in the doorway to turn and watch the two men you loved more than anything in the world racing toy cars along the comforter that you now noticed had a fake play map on it. Your heart soared at the look of indescribable happiness of Jax’s face and with one last smile, you closed the door to let your boys have a little father-son time in peace.

~~~~~ MID-NOVEMBER 2010 ~~~~~~~ 

“Wally, for the sake of everything holy…” You grumbled as you laid the lore book you were reading against your stomach and leaned back against the arm of the couch. You pinched the bridge of your nose and let out an aggravated sigh as you held the house phone up to your ear. “It’s not a damn shapeshifter, it’s a ghoul. Just had another one there a month ago.”

“I don’t think so…” The hunter replied as your cell phone buzzed with a text on the coffee table next to you. You went to reach for it and scowled it was just a little bit our of your reach. You swiped your hand at it and rolled your eyes.

“Damnit Wally! Do I need to drag my pregnant ass down to Texas week before my due date to do this case for you?” Lyla giggled from the desk the two of you shared in Bobby’s living room and she got up to grab your phone for you.

“No! No, I hear you. So… umm… what kills it again?” You dropped your arm on the back of the couch and looked up at your friend as she handed you your cell phone.

“I swear the world would be lost if it weren’t for women.” You told her as you put the phone back to your ear. “Decapitation, Wally. Same as a vamp.” You mouthed ‘Thanks’ to Lyla as you glanced at your phone screen to see text from Sam. “Do I need to send someone down…?”

“No, I’m alright. Thanks (Y/N).” You hummed in response and hung up the phone with an annoyed growl.

“Men are fucking idiots. How many times did I tell him it was a damn ghoul?” You asked as you glanced over at Lyla and put the house phone down on the table.

“Six or seven. I just nod my head and agree with Ope when I know he’s wrong.” You laughed and looked down at your phone with a nod.

“Yea, you and me both.” You read the two word ‘call me’ text and hit send. Your brother picked up on the first ring. “What’s up?”

“Just got an alert on the RICO case. The list of charges and witness is in the federal database and I sent you a copy. (Y/N)… it’s not good.”

“Shit.” You grumbled as you forced yourself off the couch and walked over to the desk. “I’ll call you back, Sammy.”

“What’s wrong?” Lyla asked as you grabbed your laptop and sat down on your side of the wooden desk.

“Charges and witness list has been posted for the RICO case back home.” She jumped up out of her chair and came around to your side as you pulled up the email from Sam. “He said it’s not good.” The two of you watched as the encrypted copy of the charges loaded and name after name appeared on the screen. 50 years, 30 years, life, life, life… your stomach turned as more and more of your family was condemned to eternity in caged hell. Then the list of witnesses appeared. “Oh, Jesus.” You said as you read the first two names.

“He ratted? Clay ratted?” Lyla said as you spun the desk phone toward you and called down to the shop.

“Means he’s either in seg or WITSEC.” You said as the phone rang. You finished reading the list as Ope picked up the phone.

“Singer Salvage and Repair.” He growled as you scrolled back to the top of the witness list.

“It’s (Y/N). I need you and Jax to come up to the house.” You said as you looked at the two names once more and sat back in your chair. “And remind Jax that I’m pregnant and Tommy is napping because I think he may forget when he gets here.” You heard him mumble ‘shit’ as the line went dead and you hung up the phone.

“Did Gemma get picked up?” Lyla asked. You sat up and scrolled to the top to look.

“If she didn’t get picked up with RICO then she got picked up local. Crowley told me he pinned our murders on her flawlessly. Five counts of murder… she’s got no chance.” You picked up your phone and called Sam back quickly as you waited for the boys to make their way up. “Sam. You still by your computer?” 

“Yea… What did Jax say?”

“Nothing yet. He’s headed up from the shop. Listen, I need your hacker skills. I gotta find out what Clay and Juice flipped for and where they’re at now.” Sam stayed quiet for a moment and you sighed. “We’re not gunna kill him… yet. I just know Jax is gunna wanna know.”

“What am I gunna wanna know?” Your husband asked as he walked in the door, slightly shivering from the cold with a look of pure angry aggravation on his face. You held up your finger to hold him off for a second.

“Just… please, Sam? And look in to Gemma, too.” With a heavy sigh, Sam agreed and promised to call you with the information as soon as he got it. Jax stood next to the desk impatiently waiting as you hung up the phone. With a sigh you looked up at him. “Remember week before due date, yelling and screaming is not good for me…”

“Babe.” Jax said, his annoyance beyond obvious in his tone. You sat back with a sigh and turned your laptop so he could see it.

“Sam sent me a list of charges and witnesses from the federal database regarding the RICO case.” The two men practically jumped across the room to look through the list. You glanced up at Lyla as you tried to scoot your chair back knowing shit was about to hit the fan. Sure enough…

“Are you fucking serious!” Jax shouted as he stepped back from the laptop. “I expect this shit from Clay but Juice?!”

“Babe…” You warned as Jax grabbed your water bottle off the desk and threw it across the room. “Jackson! Pregnant! Napping child! Calm down!”

“What did they rat?” You shook your head at Ope and shrugged. Jax turned and paced toward the door as he ran his grease covered hands through his hair.

“Don’t know yet. Sam’s looking into it.”

“My guess, Juice was an informant. He was acting real shifty before we left; that makes sense now. And Clay ratted post to save his ass from life.” Jax stated as he walked back to look at the list again.

“So what do we do?” Opie asked as he stood back up and looked at Jax.

“Right now, we wait until we get info. Then they meet Mr. Mayhem.”

“Jax… we need to talk about that.” You tried. Jax shook his head as he looked up at you.

“No, we don’t.” Anger washed over you and you grabbed the edge of the desk and pulled yourself up right. You put your hand on your stomach and nodded.

“I say we do. I’m not saying he won’t get his but we aren’t doing this MC style. We have much better options at handling this over barging in to a WITSEC safe house to put a neon sign over our heads announcing the Teller’s and the Winston’s aren’t really dead. We have angels in out pocket and demons on our payroll so again, it will be talked about at the table.” Your cell phone buzzed on the desk with Sam’s call back. You answered it, put it on speaker and held it out in front of you. “Hey Sam, you got all of us.”

“Hey guys. So, Clay Morrow is just listed as an informant and is in Folsom state prison serving ten years in protective custody. Gemma Teller Morrow is in Valley State, five counts of first degree murder, consecutive life sentences. Juan Carlos Ortiz is listed as the original case informant and he’s in witness protection somewhere in Illinois but I won’t be the one looking into that one.”

“You were right.” Ope said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Alright, thanks Sam.”

“No problem. Hey, take me off speaker for a second.” You looked up at Jax as you took the phone off speaker and turned toward the front door.

“You got me.” You said as you stepped out onto the front porch and headed a little ways away from the house. Sam sighed and you could tell he was battling some internal demons.

“What is he gunna do, (Y/N)?” You took a deep breath and shook your head.

“No idea but I’m gunna talk to him. The beef Clay and Jax have with each other runs deep especially since Jax found out Clay killed his dad and then tried to have him killed. SAMCRO was all about an eye for an eye for stuff like that. This isn’t a situation that I have any sort of say over.”

“I’m just concerned that this will blow back on you. End of the day, you’re my sister. I don’t want you or my nephews involved in this.” You nodded as you rubbed your hand absentmindedly across your stomach and looked back up at the house.

“It won’t. That’s the only part I have a say over. I’m the only person that Jax will listen to on this to let his revenge happen where it doesn’t put a target on us. I already have in mind calling Crowley and letting him take the souls to do the dirty work.”

“Just… fuck. I really don’t like this.”

“I know, Sam. Hey, don’t tell Dean. He’ll drive up here and cause a scene… I’m too close to being due for all that right now.” Sam huffed.

“Yea, not a great way to bring a baby into the world.”

“Look, I promise I’ll talk to him.” You said as Jax appeared in the doorway.

“Alright. Be careful.” You nodded as you headed back to the house.

“Always. I’ll call you later. Oh! While I have you on the phone, there seems to be a ghoul problem in Texas near Odessa. Wally’s down there now but I just had Garth down there last month taking care of a different ghoul incident. Mind calling Cas and checking it out for me? Don’t need that shit getting out of hand.” Jax opened the screen door for you and moved off to the side to let you in as Sam groaned in your ear.

“Why would you send Wally?”

“I didn’t send Wally. He heard about it from someone and went to check it out himself. Thought it was a shape shifter.”

“Of course he did. Alright. Send me what you can and Dean and I’ll go clean it up. I’ll check in when we get down there.”

“Thank you. Send De my love.” You hung up the phone and tossed it on the coffee table as you lowered yourself onto the couch with Jax’s help. “Alright, I’m guessing family meeting?” You asked as Jax grabbed your desk chair and pulled it over with a nod.

“He’s gotta go, babe.” He said as Lyla sat down next to you and Opie pulled over another chair.

“I’m not saying he doesn’t. What I’m asking is that our hands don’t do the dirty work. We’ve got it good here. People don’t ask questions, we are off federal radar. But if we start knocking people off, we got feds poking around, they realize we aren’t really dead. Then it’s a domino effect. You and Ope go away for life, Gemma is released with a serious grudge. She already tried to kill Lyla and I once. If she got out to find out she was framed for our murders and we were alive the whole time? She’d come after us in a heartbeat. Our son’s would be put into the system…” You shook your head and leaned back against the couch. “We can’t have that, Jax.”

“So then how…?” Jax asked and you cocked your eyebrow.

“Juice is simple. Once the baby is born, I can head down to the bunker and use Sam’s laptop to hack into the WITSEC database to find him. Get Crowley to find a monster or two, right place, wrong time for Juice, let them take care of it. Clay and Gemma… death at the hands of a possessed guard is too quick and not painful for my liking for what they’ve done to us. Hell hounds; however, are efficient.” Jax looked at you for a moment, considering your suggestion before he looked over at Opie.

“We should have changed the rules and made her a patch. She’s crafty.” You rolled your eyes and glanced over at Lyla.

“World would be lost.” She said and you nodded.

“Why would the world be lost?” Opie asked. Lyla leaned forward and pat his cheek lovingly.

“Nothing baby.” You bit your cheek to hide your smile as you looked back to Jax expectantly.

“So, can we agree that they meet Mr. Mayhem at the hands of the supernatural? I’ll even have Crowley record the kills for you if you want.” Jax looked at you for a moment before glancing around at the rest of group.

“All in favor of Clay, Gemma and Juice meeting supernatural Mr. Mayhem?” All three of you said ‘aye’ and Jax nodded. “Aye.” He agreed as he picked up the house phone from the table and used it as a gavel to finalize the decision. “Let’s call the demon.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

As Jax pulled into your driveway, bringing you and your newborn son home from the hospital, you saw Crowley waiting for you on the porch.

“Wonder what he wants.” Jax said as he pulled the SUV the two of you had recently bought toward the garage.

“Welcome home his new nephew, possibly. He didn’t swing by the hospital at all.” Jax shrugged as you zipped your jacket up, grabbed the strap of the diaper bag and got out of the car.

“Welcome home, kitten. I trust you’re feeling well?” You looked up at him as Jax grabbed the car seat and nodded.

“Good as I can be after 18 hour labor.” He nodded slightly as the two of you walked up the steps.

“Finally settle on a name?” He asked as he looked at your son. Jax nodded as he held the car seat up a little higher.

“We did just this morning. After 9 months of debates, we decided on John Filip after our fathers and a good friend from Charming.” You smiled at the choices you had agreed on and went to take a step toward the door to get out of the snow and freezing cold but Crowley put his hand out in front of you.

“Love the meaning behind the names. I have some business to discuss with the pair of you quickly. This ‘Juice’ character has been dealt with.” He said as he pulled out a folder from his coat pocket and handed it to Jax. “Painful and messy; proof is there. The message that it was from SAMCRO was given to him and only him. No evidence was left behind.” Jax set down the car seat on the porch and opened the folder. You knew right away what he had found to complete the job.

“Werewolf?” You asked as you looked up at him and he nodded with a laugh.

“Can’t get anything past a Winchester. Now, as for Clay and Gemma. Getting hellhounds into a prison is not difficult for me to do; however, I know both of you would love to be the ones behind the bullet, so to speak.” You and your husband both nodded slowly.

“Where are you going with this.” Jax asked. Crowley smiled and chuckled.

“Using the werewolf gave me an idea I think you would both find pleasurable. Shape shifters.” The concept clicked in your head and a giant smile spread across your face.

“Can you pull it off?” You asked excitedly. Crowley’s smile dropped and he looked at you with mock annoyance.

“Really, darling; must you insult me?”

“So what, you’d put shape shifters in the cells that look like Clay and Gemma and bring the real people to us?” Jax asked and Crowley nodded.

“And kill off the shape shifters immediately with hell hounds so they can’t shift into someone else.” You and Jax looked at each other for only a second before looking back at Crowley.

“Do it.” You said simultaneously.

“Wonderful. Get settled in; I’ll be round in an hour. I’ll call first so Lyla can distract Thomas.” You nodded as Crowley bent down, snapped a little teddy bear into his hand and tucked it into the carseat beside your sleeping son. “A gift from Uncle Ree, little John.” He stood up and smiled at the newborn before disappearing.

“Talk about a welcome home present.” Jax said as he picked up the car seat and headed inside.

“Now the fun question is how are we gunna do it? We’re home!” You called out; receiving a screech from your son from upstairs. The two year old ran as fast as he could to the gate to wait for you to come up.

“Is that my brudder?” He asked as he wrapped his little hands around the banisters and looked down at you.

“That’s your brother. Did you tell Uncle Opie and Aunt Lyla what his name is?” You asked as you headed up the stairs, even though they already knew. Your oldest son looked up at Ope and Lyla with a big grin.

“That’s my brudder, John. I’m big brudder now.” He said proudly as he stepped away from the gate to let you and Jax through.

“John Filip. Spelt the way Chibs spells it.” You said as the five of you headed toward your room.

“I picked Filip, She picked the spelling.” Jax said as you sat down on the far side of the bed. Opie put Thomas up next to you as Jax put the car seat on the bed. “So we ran into Crowley on the porch.” He told your friends as he picked his tiny son up proudly.

“Yea, he was here for a little bit before you got home. Said he needed to run something by you.” Lyla said as Jax gently handed her his youngest.

“Yea and he gave me this.” Jax said as he handed Opie the folder. “Proof of delivery of Juan Ortiz.” Ope’s eyebrows flew too his hair line as he opened the folder and leafed through the photos.

“This is brutal.” He said as he handed Jax back the folder.

“He was given the message that it was from the MC and got what he deserved.” Jax said as he walked over and put the folder in the top drawer of his dresser so it could be put in the safe in the basement later. “He also had an idea.” He sat down on his side of the bed and Opie and Lyla sat down at the end.

“So he is gunna get some shape shifters and drop them in… the other hit’s cells.” You said as you glanced down at your son, knowing that he would recognize his grandparent’s names. Jax did the same and continued in code.

“He’s gunna bring the real marks here so they can meet Mr. Mayhem in person and he’s gunna send in the mutts to clean up the other end so they can’t give it away.”

“When?” Ope asked as Lyla passed him your son to hold for a bit.

“Hour; before the boys get here. So Lyla if you don’t mind distracting…?” You said and she nodded vigorously. 

“Absolutely. I’m not good with… stuff.” You smiled as Thomas got up and walked over to Opie.

“Can I have my brudder now?” He said as he put his hands on his hips. Ope smiled as Jax reached out and grabbed his son by the sides.

“What do you say?” He asked his son as he pulled him to sit back against the pillows. Ope passed John to you as your oldest sighed.

“Pwease.” You smiled as you laid John in Thomas’ arms with Jax’s help. You smiled as you looked at the two little loves of your life.

“Wait, I wanna get a picture. Don't look up at me stay just like that.” Lyla said as she jumped off the bed to stand at the end. You stayed put with a smile on your face until you heard the click.

“Alright, let me see.” You said as you reached out for your friends phone. She handed it over with a smile. You leaned back against the pillows as Jax leaned over behind Thomas to look and your heart instantly melted. 

Both of you were looking down at Thomas and John. You had your hand on top of Thomas’ resting on John’s side and Jax had one hand on Thomas’ shoulder and the other on John’s head. Some of Jax’s blonde hair was hanging in his face and you could honestly say you had never seen him look that happy before.

“God, you’re so beautiful.” Jax said as he looked away from the picture to look up at you. You looked over at him and smiled as you handed Lyla her phone back.

“You happy?” You asked as you pushed the fallen strands back behind his ear.

“Never been happier, babe.” He leaned forward and gave you a chaste kiss before sitting back and looking at his sons.

“Just call us when you’re ready.” Ope said softly as he ushered his wife out of the room.

“I want one.” She told him softly and you giggled as you looked at your boys.

—— 

“So the boys are three hours out and Crowley is on his way. We’re all set on my end.” You said as you stepped out on the back porch and laid your mug of hot chocolate on the arm of your chair. You looked at Opie, who was building a small fire in the fire pit you had pulled up onto the porch and gave him a small nod before looking over at Jax. You could see that he only partially heard what you had said just by the look on his face. He wanted revenge and you could tell he was almost excited to get it. He leered down at the porch railing at the various tool and weapons he had there; plotting and planning the demise of Clay and Gemma.

“Lyla has Tommy in his room watching ‘Aladdin’ . She’ll call me if the baby wakes up.” You nodded at him as you heard the settling of chairs in the snow in front of you.

“Baby? What baby?” Gemma’s voice called out and you looked up toward the sound. Hate, rage and joy filled your heart as you looked at your two in-laws, tied to chairs in your backyard and an evil smile crossed your face.

“No. See, you don’t get to ask questions about my children, ‘mom’.” You sneered as you walked to the edge of the porch. “You lost that chance months ago when you tried to have it killed.” She looked at you, shocked and put on an act of offense.

“What?! I did nothing…”

“Don’t lie!” Jax growled at her as you pulled your your gun from the small of your back and fired a shot through the meaty part of her left arm. Her cry of agony echoed with the shot over your property as you walked down the stairs to stand in front of her.

“See, Gemma. Here’s the deal. We all know you are lying right now. After all, you did sign off on JT’s murder all those years ago…” Tears filled her eyes as they shot up to her son on her porch. Jax simply glared at her with a look of pure hate and disgust. 

“Jackson…I-I didn’t…”

“Save it.” You told her as you crouched down in front of her. “He read the letters; all of them. You were right to have been worried about them.” She glared back down at you with all the hate she had. You simply smiled, raised your gun and pointed it at her face. 

“Oh, I know what you must be thinking. ‘You did this to take my babies away, you stupid gash.’ But I gotta say, that’s only partially true. You see, I never wanted to take him away from you. I would never, ever purposely hurt my husband and my family like that by just showing him letters that showed what kind of mother you are. But you kinda forced my hand, Gem. Because you made me show him those letters… after he saw the video of you trying to make a deal with a demon to kill his wife and unborn child, I had no choice.” Her face dropped and you laughed. 

“Yea, he saw that too. He also heard the voicemail that Clay left for the cartel assassin to have him killed.” You said as you glanced over at you father-in-law. He kept looking forward but he tightened his hands into fists as you got up and stood in front of him. “Just so you know, that 30k bought us a new car, so thanks for that.”

“What do you want?!” Gemma shouted. You giggled and walked back over to her with a shake of your head.

“I don’t want anything for you. You’ve already given me what I want.” You told her as you pulled the collar of your shirt down and tapped your gun against your crow. “Now, I would love to stay and chat; maybe show off a little something I learned in the eight years I spent in hell but my cocoa is getting cold and… well, no one likes cold cocoa.” You smiled as you fired another bullet into the fatty part of her right arm and looked up at Crowley who was standing behind the two of them.

“Photo evidence of the other half of this transaction are on their way. Anything else?” He said over Gemma’s sobs. You gave him a short nod and gestured to the two prisoners with your gun.

“Can you put a heater down here or something? Don’t want to lose them to the weather. And their voices; well, my kids don’t need to hear them so we could do without those as well.” Crowley nodded as you headed back up to the porch. You stopped in front of Jax, who you knew was only seeing red as he looked at the two people who had raised him. “They are all yours. You got about two hours.” He finally looked at you with a slight look of confusion.

“You’re not taking her?” You shook your head and cupped his cheek in your gloved palm.

“No, baby. She only tried to kill me. She actually killed your dad. That’s your revenge to take. I get mine by watching her suffer.”

“Fuck, you’re just as secretly twisted as I am.” He said as he gave you a chaste kiss and grabbed a pair of pliers. “Let me know when I’m running out of time.” You nodded as you pulled off your gloves and walked over to the fire place. You sat down on the edge of you chair next to Ope to warm up as Jax dropped his winter jacket on the porch and headed down the steps.

“I was hoping to see what you had learned in hell.” Crowley said as he snapped a seat on your other side.

“Yea, well it’s not my revenge to take. Beside’s that, I’m not big into the torture game, anyways unless I’m trying to get information.” You picked up your mug, sat back in your chair and smiled over at the King of Hell. “That and it’s more fun to torture demons. You guys are human shaped glow sticks.” You smiled into your mug and Crowley chuckled as a demon appeared with a folder similar to the one the pictures of Juice came in.

“Yes, well I would appreciate if you wouldn’t torture my demons for the light show, kitten.” He said as he flipped through the photos before handing it over to you. “Now, I have some other business to take care of. You have a pair of guards out front and this one will be stationed roughly an hour away. He will let you know when Sam and Dean are close and they will clean up any mess you need them too.” You smiled at him as he stood up and looked down at you. He hesitated just a little longer than usual and a wave of unease washed over you.

“Shit… what?” His eyebrows arched and he shook his head as he bent down to kiss your cheek.

“Nothing, darling. Simply… admiring your radiant glow.” He disappeared and you shook your head.

“What was that?” Ope asked.

“I don’t know.” You said as you looked at the empty chair left next to you.

“You don’t think he would turn us in…?” He inquired nervously. You shook your head and looked over at your friend.

“No. He sees the boys as his family which means we are his family. He won’t betray us. That look…” you said gesturing to where he had been standing moments before. “… means something is wrong with one of my brothers or there is a supernatural problem. He feels guilty he can’t warn me.” 

“Why can’t he warn you?” You sighed and took a sip of your drink, letting the hot liquid warm you from the inside in the below freezing temperature.

“I told him not to. I’m not a hunter anymore, Ope. I know me well enough to know that if I knew about all the evils my brothers were facing every day, I would want to help. I won’t do that to my family. I won’t let my sons be raised the way I was… I can’t. We just got them some semblance of normal getting out of Charming, I’m not gunna throw them back into chaos if I can avoid it.”

“What are you two talking about?” Jax asked as he walked up the steps. He dropped a few tools in a bloody pile at the top of the stairs and grabbed his pack of cigarettes.

“Something’s going on with Sam and Dean and I was just tellin’ Ope why I won’t dig into it.” Jax, knowing your reasoning already, handed you the now blood covered pack of smokes with a nod.

“Light me one, babe.” He said as he put his Zippo on the arm of the chair before showing you the blood covering his latex glove covered hands. “Well, boys will be here in a few hours, you can ask them if you want.” You shook your head as you held the lit cigarette up to him. He bit it between his teeth while you lit one for yourself.

“Nope, I know myself too well for that. I’ll either hear about it when it gets too extreme or when it’s all done.” You took a long drag of the first cigarette you had in nine month and sighed. “God, you two have no idea how good that tastes.” The men chuckled as Jax collected more tools and his knife from the railing.

“We spent time in prison, we know.” Ope said. You shook your head and looked over at him as you pointed at him with the smoke.

“You have no idea. People don’t smoke around you in prison. I’ve been around you assholes smoking every day for the last 9 months. That’s like the cock tease to end all cock teases right there.”

“No, babe. The cock tease to end all is how we got our newest addition.” Jax said around his cigarette through grit teeth. He stopped at the top of the steps with a smirk. “So it serves you right.”

“You got another kid out of it and a cute one at that!” You called out to him as he headed back down the stairs. You looked up at the bloody mess in front of you and sighed. “I hope this gives him the closure he needs.” You said softly as you watched your husband take a screw driver and slam it into Clay’s knee. Clay’s face contorted and he opened his mouth to scream but no sound came out. You glanced at Gemma who was silently sobbing as she watched her husband and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“It will. This is how Jax gets his closure.” You nodded at your friend as you took another drag off your smoke. You remained quiet for the rest of the two hours as Jax went back and forth inflicting the pain he felt fit the personal crimes the Morrow’s had committed against him and his family. 

Jax used every tool in his arsenal; from knives to common household tools, salt and bleach. Alternating back and forth from offender to offender; more Clay then Gemma. Sometimes he spoke; voicing the dark thoughts in his mind or happy family memories he shared with his son or real father. Every word maliciously chosen to inflict as much damage as the bleeding wounds and open holes on the bodies. He never once gave them the satisfaction of knowing the gender or name of his youngest child.

You couldn’t look away; like a car accident that was careening out of control. You didn’t notice Opie get up and head inside or the demon that popped in at the beginning of the second hour to check on progress. You couldn’t feel the cold seeping into your bones as the fire died down. All you could focus on was how much pain your husband was in because of the family members that tried to take everything from him.

“Mrs. Teller?” A small, male voice said as Jax was standing over Clay’s dead body. The mutilated flesh looked so foreign against the crisp white snow that surrounded the rest of the backyard. The blood that pooled at your husband’s feet had started to freeze long ago. You forced yourself to look away; taking a moment to realize it was the first time you had moved a muscle in over two hours. You nodded as a young, black eyed man stepped over at you. “Sam Winchester just past the hour away mark.” You nodded as you went to look back at Jax before the demon’s words permeated the fog you appeared to be in.

“Wait, just Sam?” The demon nodded and you stood up. “Alright, thanks.” You said as you cracked your neck and back. “Jax, time to wrap up.” He nodded as he looked back at his mother. His chest, now bare and blood splattered, heaved from the adrenaline that had coursed through him. He pulled out the gun in the small of his back and cocked it. You stood up with a sigh as the Glock shook in his hand. Gemma, a fighter like she always was, tried to look up at her son and you could see the resolve in Jax break. With a small sigh, you stepped off the porch and walked over at him. As gently as you could, you wrapped your hand around his and took the gun. He looked up at you and you gave him a small nod. “I got it.”

“Together.” He said as he shifted to stand behind you, holding your hand and the gun in his hand. He slipped his finger over yours on the trigger as you aimed the gun at Gemma. She looked up at the two of you and with the smallest nod and a single tear, you squeezed the trigger as Jax’s simply hovered in place. You both stood there for a moment, saying good bye to a huge part of you life before you turned toward Jax.

“Let’s get you inside and cleaned up, baby.” He put his wrist under your chin and tiled your head up to look at him. As you searched his tear filled blue eyes, his own searching yours with so many various emotions, you took a deep breath and brushed his blood stained blonde hair back behind his ear. “I know.” He pulled you in for hug, holding you tight as he buried his face in your neck. You could feel his tears falling on your skin and your heart broke for him. The two of you stayed there until the cold finally got to him and you pulled yourself back. 

“Go get cleaned up, baby. Sam is an hour out. Leave your sneakers and your jeans at the top of the basement stairs so I can get the blood out. I’ll be up in a second.” He nodded as he ripped off the latex gloves and cupped your cheeks in his hands.

“I love you so fucking much, (Y/N). I’ll never let anyone hurt you or our boys.” You smiled as you reached between his arms and brushed his tears away with your thumbs.

“I love you too, baby. So much more than I could ever put into words.” He nodded in agreement as he pulled you in for a gentle kiss. After a moment, he pulled back and sighed. With one final glance down at Gemma and Clay, he crinkled his nose slightly and spit on the ground between their heads. Without another word, he headed into the house to get cleaned up. 

“I have a list of the shit he used, please clean the blood off it all and give everything to Crowley to return.” You said to the demon that was still standing on the porch as you gathered all of your husband’s blood covered clothes to bring down to the basement. “Make sure that there is no blood left in the snow or on the porch and I want photos of this.” The man nodded at you as you grabbed your forgotten cocoa mug, the folder of pictures of the shape shifters to add to the safe and the pack of cigarettes.

“Burn or bury the bodies?” He asked as you opened the door. You glanced back and scoffed.

“Burn them in the fires of hell where they belong. Crowley got the souls as payment for this.”

——

“We named him John.” You said softly as you laid your newborn son gently in your brother’s arms. “After dad and Jax’s dad. Birthday is November 14th.”

“I like it.” Sam said as he settled back against the couch. “I know he would like that, too.” He smiled down at his nephew, his dimples visible a mile away as Thomas climbed up next to him.

“That’s my brudder, Unca Sam.” He said as he kneeled on the couch. Your brother chuckled and ruffled your son’s hair.

“Yea he is kiddo, and you’re gunna be the best big brother ever, aren’t you?” Thomas nodded as Jax strolled into the room, his wet hair slicked back and beads of water glistening on his bare chest. He had been in the shower for nearly an hour and you knew him well enough to know that that was his was of decompressing the heavy shit he had dealt with that day.

“He looks like (Y/N).” Your husband claimed as he sat down on the arm rest of the couch next to you and put his hand on your back in-between your shoulder blades.

“I can see it. It’s funny that the boys are the exact opposite on who they look like.” Sam said as he looked up at you. “Tommy looks like Jax with your eyes and vice versa for John.” You nodded as you rested your arm on Jax’s leg.

“See I see Jax in both boys,” you said as you looked at your sons. “but I guess that’s just a mom thing.” Sam nodded in agreement and the room fell silent. You glanced up at your husband for a moment and almost as if he could read your mind, he nodded.

“Hey son, why don’t you go see if Aunt Lyla needs help with dinner? It would help mommy out a lot.” Thomas, who loved cooking with Lyla, practically flew off the couch toward the kitchen while calling out her name. You rubbed your husband’s knee and took a deep breath as Sam looked up at you.

“I don’t wanna know what, I just wanna know if he’s OK?” Sam sighed as he put his ankle on his knee and ran his free hand through his long brown hair.

“He’s…sick.” You sighed as you rested your elbows on your knees.

“I’m guessing it’s not the kinda sick Cas can just zap away either?” Your brother shook his head slowly and looked down at John to avoid eye contact.

“Crowley and Dean got themselves in a sticky situation but we’re handling it. We are at the point where we even have Crowley’s witch mother involved.”

“Oh shit…” You groaned as you got up from the couch. You walked over to the fireplace, fighting against your natural instincts to find out more. “How’s that working out for you?” Sam huffed a laughed and looked up at you with a half mouth smirk.

“I spend half my days in Scotland and half my days in England listening to one squawk about the other. How do you think it’s going?” You rolled your eyes in sheer annoyance and smiled.

“Serves you idiots right, gettin’ in way above your pay grade.” You looked over at Jax, tossing the next question around in your head but Sam cut your thought off at the knees.

“I won’t tell you even if you ask.” You looked over at him curiously and he shook his head. “You’re my best friend, (Y/N), I know that look. You’re out and I’m keeping you out. You got two boys, a husband, a job and a house. I won’t let you come back for this. We’ve dragged you through enough… I’ve got this one. It’s not pretty, harder than what we have seen before but not impossible.” The two of you looked at each other for a moment, having a silent conversation that could reach the greatest depths of the oceans with just micro face expressions. With a sigh, you threw your hands up and sighed.

“Fine… just bring him back in one piece, OK?” Sam nodded as Thomas came running back in the room.

“Nn-t Ly says it dinner time.” You smiled at your little boy as Jax jumped off the couch.

“Dinner time?! It’s dinner time?!” He exclaimed as he picked your son up, and threw him over his shoulder. You heard your son burst into a fit of giggles as Jax blew a raspberry on his side and headed into the dining room. You looked over at Sam.

“Do I need to be worried about the issues behind why De is sick.” Your brother shook his head as he got up and met you half way with John.

“We got it all handled already. Just trying to dig out of the grave we dug and trying to stay out of the grave at the end of the day.” You looked up at your brother and sighed before you rolled your eyes and headed toward the dining room.

“Crowley was right. You two are flannel clad morons sometimes.”


	13. Chapter 13

~~~~~~~~ MID-FEBURARY 2011 ~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Why is it always so cold?!” Jax asked as he and Opie walked into Bobby’s house for lunch. You looked up from the invoice you were writing up and huffed.

“This ain’t California, baby. We live in South Dakota now.”

“Yea, well I want a refund. Snow sucks.” You laughed as he walked over and kissed your forehead.

“You work maybe three days a week in a heated shop. Quit bitchin’.” He flipped you the bird as he walked over to the fire place to warm up. “We could always close down shop and go to the bunker for a few days…”

“Uhhh… Not a good idea.” Bobby said as he looked up from the lore book he was reading. You let your head fall back with a groan and looked back up at him. 

“How long are you guys gunna keep me away from him?”

“Until I deem it fit to send my grand babies down there.” You rolled your eyes as his cell phone rang.

“I’m gunna find out eventually.”

“Babe, let it go.” Jax said as he practically put his hands in the flames. “You’re so damn nosey.”

“Bite me.”

“I’m always down for a road trip.” Lyla said with a smile as she bounced John on her knee. 

“No road trips.” Jax and Ope said at the same time.

“Well, you may get your wish.” Bobby said as he hung up the phone. You looked up at his tear filled eyes and your stomach instantly turned.

“No…. No, no…”

“Darling…” You whipped around to see Crowley standing in the kitchen and you flew out of your chair.

“You son of a bitch, what did you do?!” You screamed. You slammed your fists against his chest as tears poured down your cheeks. “What did you do! That’s my brother!”

“(Y/N), I swear… I didn’t mean…”

“This is on you!” You screamed, not caring that your sons were right behind you. Crowley took a hold of your wrists gently so you would stop hitting him as Jax wrapped his arms around you and pulled you back. “I hate you! I hate you and I never want to see you again! I want… I want Dean!” You collapsed to the ground as sobs racked your body.

“I’m sorry, kitten.” You heard Crowley say softly before he disappeared.

——

You were at home, packing a bag for you and your sons to go down to the bunker for a couple days when your cell phone rang in your room. You grumbled to yourself for leaving it in there and ran; picking it up just before it went to voicemail.

“Yea?”

“Hey… so… there’s a little problem.” You froze at the top of the stairs and looked at your screen to double check who was calling before holding it back to your ear.

“Sam… what kind of problem.” Sam sighed.

“Dean’s gone.” You did a double take and your brow furrowed.

“What, you don’t think I already got that message, smart ass?”

“No, (Y/N) that’s not what I mean. As far as I knew, Dean was dead. I carried his body into the bunker myself. Laid him in his room and I just went back to go sit with him while I wait for you and he is gone. Some how, he came back to life and he left a note that said ‘Sammy let me go.’ He’s gone, (Y/N).” You sat down on the floor and shook your head.

“Sam… what the fuck did you guys get into?” Your brother stayed quiet for a moment and you knew he was rubbing his hand over his face.

“I think you need to come to the bunker… and by you, I mean the whole family.”

“Jesus Christ… alright, call and tell Bobby. We’re coming.” You hung up the phone and sighed as you pulled yourself up off the floor. “Jax! Pack a bag for a week; the whole family is going on a Goddamn road trip.” You called down the stairs as you headed toward Thomas’ room to get more clothes and diapers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Why did you drive the truck?” Sam asked as you got out of your truck behind Jax and your Honda. You ignored your duffle on the front seat and headed over to your other car to get your sons inside before you went back out again.

“Because I need it.” You said simply as you got John out of the back seat of the SUV. “I need you to catch…”

“She’s on a war path.” Jax interrupted as he put Thomas down on the ground and started helping Bobby with the bags. “She thinks she’s going…”

“Jackson, stop.” You snapped as Sam picked up his nephew, fighting to keep his look of concern off his face. “Not now.” Your husband rolled his eyes and headed into the bunker angrily; not wanting to restart the argument you had at home again. You needed answers and there was only one person who could give them to you.

“(Y/N)…” Your brother said as you headed through the library to the room that had been officially designated as the boys room to get John out of his car seat and into bed.

“Sammy… just don’t.” You kept walking, refusing to look back and heard Bobby tell Sam that you were going to look for Crowley… by any means necessary. Your brother sighed as he put Thomas down in the hallway and gently guided him toward your room where Jax was internally debating on going with you or staying with his sons like you asked him too. “I need to know why he did this.” You said softly as you put your sleeping son down in the pack and play you had brought from Charming. 

“You don’t even know what ‘this’ is.” Sam said as you stood up and left the room; leaving the door open a crack so the boys would be able to hear if John woke up. You shrugged as you flipped off the light.

“So, tell me.” You walked right past Sam and Bobby toward the library. Sam slowly followed you into the room, pain and heartbreak evident on his face. You pulled out one of the library chairs and sat down on the table. You cocked your eyebrow as you waited for Sam or Bobby to say something and began impatiently tapping your foot. “Look, whatever it is is bad enough that it got De killed and turned him into a zombie. So either tell me or…”

“It’s the Mark of Cain.” Your words audibly caught in your throat and your eyes bulged.

“You fucking idiots.” You said as you stood up. “How fucking stupid could you be?” Sam tried to say something and you held your hand up to stop him while shaking your head slowly. “That’s Lucifer’s Mark, Sam. Lucifer gave that to Cain. He’s not dead, he’s a fucking demon!”

“Now, (Y/N), take it easy…” You shook your head at your second father and sucked air through your teeth as sheer fury course through your veins.

“Nope. There is no taking it easy, Bobby. My brother is a demon. So, now that that is established, I’m going to get some fucking answers from the source on why this seemed like the only option you morons had.” You headed toward Dean’s room, knowing he would have money stashed away somewhere in there. “Mark of Cain. Who does that?” You grumbled as you threw the door open. Your stomach turned when you saw the dried blood on the bed and you fought to ignore it as you walked over to the closet.

“Mommy?” Thomas said softly.

“Not now, baby. Mommy’s busy.” You told him as you began ripping jeans off the shelf to check pockets. Dean was usually crafty with hiding his money but it was always one of three places.

“But mommy…”

“Thomas, I said not now.” You snapped as you dropped the pile of jeans in your hand and grabbed one of Dean’s boots.

“Hey! You don’t talk to him like that!” Jax shouted as you reached into the boot and wrapped your fingers around a wad of cash. Score.

“Stop, Jax. I’m not some croweater you can shout at.” You tossed the boot back in the closet and shoved the money in your jeans. You were suddenly engulfed in strong arms and lifted off the floor. “Fucking… put me down!” You growled as you fought against your husband. He dropped you on the bed and quickly used his body to pin you to the blood covered comforter. 

“Don’t.” He snarled as you fought to get yourself free. “Look, we get it. You’re mad and hurt, but you do NOT talk to my son like that.”

“He’s my son too, Jackson.” You said as you quit thrashing to glare up at your husband.

“You keep talking to him like that and he won’t be.” Your eyes narrowed as an evil grin spread across your face.

“What you think you can take him from me? I will hunt your ass down so quick…”

“Shut up!” He shouted, using his body weight to give you a little shake. “I would never take my boys but you are doing a fucking good job of pushing him away. He came in here to ask if you needed a hug to fix the boo boo on your heart and you yelled at him for it! You can take your anger out on me all you want, I’m a grown man and I can take it. You will not do that to my son.” Your face softened and tears welled in your eyes. The fight you had in you disappeared as reality permeated your brain. Jax, noticing the shift, loosened his grip on your wrists but didn’t get off of you as he continued. 

“You’re upset, I get it. I’ve been there too. Afraid that something is seriously wrong with Dean and that we are gunna lose him forever. But that does not give you the right to talk to your son like that. You pushed him away because your hurting, the same way I try to push you away when I’m hurting. Babe, he’s two years old; he doesn’t understand that! All he can comprehend is ‘mommy is upset. Her heart has a boo boo and I can fix that with hugs like she does when I have a boo boo’. So, take your anger out on me all you want ‘cause I know it’s not directed at me. You take it out on our boys again and there will be hell to pay.” You nodded slowly as tears poured from your eyes and into your hair.

“I’m a horrible mother…” You sobbed as you closed your eyes and looked away; your hurting heart breaking even more. Jax let go of your wrists and wrapped his arms around you. He kissed your shoulder and shook his head as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“No, you’re a little sister that wants answers. You’re a wonderful mom and an amazing wife, (Y/N). You just let your head get a little too far ahead of you. We’ve been here before, babe. You’re trying to push us away so we don’t get hurt; so you don’t lose more family because that’s what you think is best. You’ve said the same thing to me before. We aren’t going anywhere, babe. We’re gunna be right here, in this stinky little magic box… or, you know, buried under the ten feet of snow in our front yard since we live in the Goddamn coldest state in the universe.” You couldn’t help but laugh as Jax sat back on his knees and looked down at you. “It’s really fucking cold up there. We should have gone to Florida.” You rolled your eyes as you pulled a handful of the comforter over to use as a tissue; not wanting to trust touching the box of tissues that sat next to a bottle of lotion on the table on the far side of the bed.

“Florida sucks worse than South Dakota.” You told him as you laid back against the pillow.

“I don’t know what is more gross, the fact that you just used a blanket covered in dried blood to wipe the shot off your face or the fact that I know it belongs to your horn dog brother and you just wiped it across your face.” You propped yourself on your elbows and hummed.

“You know what I wanna know; how we have these beautiful moments and one of us always has to go and ruin it at the end.”

“Oh no! That was all you, you nasty freak.” You shrugged as you pushed at his hips. He stood up and pulled you up beside him.

“Didn’t hear you complaining about the freak part when we were practicing our baby making skills.” He smirked as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Different kinda freak and I will never complain about that… and I love you, but I’m so not kissing you right now.” You rolled your eyes and rubbed your face on his shirt to make a point. With a quick kiss on the cheek, you smiled.

“Now you’re just as yuck. You’re welcome.” He groaned as he pushed you a step back and stuck his arms out to the side with a look of mock disgust.

“Now I have cooties… boy cooties, no less.” You shrugged as you grabbed one of Dean’s old button downs from the closet.

“Now you know why I say the idea of hunting with Dean makes me want to bathe in acid. I gotta go find Tommy and hug away some boo boo’s before I go.”

“Check with Bobby, I told him to find papa so he wouldn’t see daddy throwing mommy around.” You rolled your eyes and headed for the door.

“Such a gentleman, Jackson.” As you stepped out into the main hall, you could hear the song from ‘Cars’ you hated to love floating down the hall and the light in the boy’s room was on. You stuck your head in the room and your brow furrowed as Bobby looked up at you.

“Feeling a little less homicidal?” He asked gruffly as he bounced your three month old in his arms.

“Had to get a little man-handling but I think I got my head out of my ass.” You said as you crossed your arms and looked at your youngest who was asleep on Bobby’s shoulder. You gently ran your fingertip down his nose and smiled when he scrunched his face.

“Still going aren’t you?” Bobby asked as he turned to look at you. You sighed and nodded as you pulled Dean’s shirt on over your jacket.

“I have to talk to Crowley. He won’t come to me so I have to go to him.” Bobby sighed as he gazed at you.

“You idjits are gunna be the death of me.” He said softly. You huffed and nodded.

“Maybe but at least you’ll have some good stories to tell the angels in heaven…” “Dicks…” You both said at the same time. He smiled as you gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Take care of my boys for me… all five of you.” He nodded as you kissed the back of John’s head and headed out the door.

“Hey (Y/N)…” Bobby called out as you got to the door. You turned and looked at him. “I love you.”

“I love you, too… dad.” A slight blush crept over his cheeks and he brushed you off at the name. You gave him a small smile and headed down the hall toward the music. You stepped into Sam’s room to see him and Thomas lying on the bed, watching the movie on your brothers laptop. “Hey buddy.” You said softly. Your son looked up at you and tears welled in his little (Y/E/C) eyes and your heart broke. “Oh, Tommy…” You walked across the room and picked your son up. You heard Sam pause the movie as you sat down on the bed and hugged your son tight for a moment. With tears in your eyes, you pulled back and sat him down on your knees. “Mommy’s sorry she yelled at you, baby boy. I’m not mad at you.”

“I juss… wanna ta… fix.. da boo boo.” He said between tears. Your tears fell and you nodded.

“Well now we both have boo boos to fix. So let’s hug extra hard and fix them right up, OK?” He nodded as he reached toward you. You held your little boy to your chest; desperately wanting to fix the hurt and pain you caused him. You whispered an ‘I’m sorry’ as Jax kneeled down in front of you.

“I think this boo boo needs a little help.” He said softly as he wrapped his arms around you and put his head on your shoulder. You rested your cheek against his and nodded.

“Mommy, squish me.” Thomas said after a minute and you laughed as you pulled back.

“Well did I squish the ouchie out?” He nodded as he glanced back at the laptop; the pain thankfully and apparently forgotten. 

“Yea… can I watch ‘Cars’ now?” You laughed and kissed his forehead.

“Yea buddy, finish the movie then bed time. You listen to daddy, Uncle Sam and papa when I’m gone, OK?” He nodded, no longer caring about what you had to say as he scrambled out of your arms and across the bed. You glanced over at your brother as Thomas sat down in front of his broad chest and leaned back to use him as a pillow. You sighed as you ran your hand through your hair and stood up. “I won’t go longer than a week but I know I won’t even need that long. Just gunna flush him out, get my answers then head home.”

“Just be careful and check in. If you need back up, I know Garth is down in Oklahoma…”

“Yea, I’ll take my chances. Is there a crossroads box in the Impala by chance.” Sam pointed toward his closet.

“Black drawstring bag top corner. There’s a old cigar box in the trunk of Baby that we use.” You nodded as you crossed the room. “Be careful, Button.” You looked over at your brother with a smile and nodded.

“I’m a blood born Winchester; I got this. Love ya, Sammy.”

“Love you too, (Y/N)” he said as he reached his arm out and started the movie back up. You grabbed the bag and headed out of the room with Jax on your heels.

“You sure you gotta go alone?” He asked as you pulled your truck keys out of your jacket pocket.

“Yea… I just need to vent some anger and well… shit, you know how it is.” He sighed heavily as you grabbed the empty box out of the Impala and headed to your truck.

“I get it. Don’t like it… but if the situation was reversed, you would let me go.” You nodded as you tossed the bag and the box onto the passenger side floor board of your truck. With a sigh, you shut the door and leaned against the front bumper.

“Like I said, I’ll be back in a week whether I find Crowley or not. I just…” He nodded as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“I know… I sometimes forget how similar you and I are.” You smiled as you cupped his jaw in your hands.

“That’s what makes this work so well. We both understand the insanity.” He smiled as you pulled him in for a kiss. “I love you, baby. Always.” You whispered against his lips. He rested his forehead against yours and looked at you through his eyelashes.

“I love you, too. Drive safe and be safe. No hero shit.” You giggled and nodded.

“I will. Take care of the boys. If you need me, call me. I’m staying within a hundred miles.” Jax nodded as he kissed you once more. With a heavy sigh, he stepped back and let you go; hating that he knew you needed to do this alone. You pulled yourself into the truck and smiled at your husband weakly as you turned it over. With one more blown kiss, you put the car into reverse and backed out of the garage to start the hunt for your answers.

—— 

On the third night out, you heard the gentle chime of your phone ringing, indicating a video call. You cringed as you looked at the mirror at the black and blue bruise that encompassed your eye and the split lip you sported; curtesy of an Abaddon supporter that got the upper hand for only a moment before you killed her. With a slight hesitation, you walked out into the motel room you were staying in and picked up your phone. You answered, but purposely faced the camera toward the ceiling so you could see who was waiting for you on the other side.

“Babe?” Jax asked as his eyes danced around the screen looking for you.

“Yea, I’m here. Is it just you or are the boys…” You let your sentence trail off and you shook your head. “It’s not pretty.” You told him as you glanced over at the mirror in the main room.

“Shit… hold on.” You looked back at the phone as Jax told your son to go sit with Uncle Sam for a bit. Thomas fought back for a moment, wanting to see his mommy before bed. You saw Sam’s lanky body come over and pick up your son, his cries ripping through your heart as Jax headed out to the garage to smoke a cigarette. You lit one up yourself and sat down on the bed as his face filled the screen. “Alright, let’s see it.” With a heavy exhale, you tilted your phone to face you.

“It’s not that bad…” You tried as Jax blanched.

“Not that bad?! Babe!” You saw him hold his cigarette between his teeth as he ran his fingertips across your face on the screen.

“It’s not that bad. Demon bitch got the upper hand. Four against one and I took a couple punches. I just don’t want Thomas to see me like this.”

“Jesus Christ.” He grumbled as his worry filled eyes searched yours. You heard the garage door open behind Jax and you put your thumb over the camera as Jax moved the phone so you wouldn’t be seen. 

“Just me.” You heard Sam say as he shut the door. “How bad?”

“It’s bad.” Jax said as he straightened the phone and you rolled your eyes and uncovered the camera on your end.

“Not that bad.” You said as your brother took the phone. He whistled as he looked at the damage.

“’S'not that bad. Split your lip pretty good.” You huffed as you took a drag on your cigarette. 

“Made the mistake of getting French fries for lunch too. Wasn’t thinking…” Both men hissed as the phone was handed back to Jax.

“Did you find him yet?” he asked. You shook your head as you headed back into the bathroom to clean up your lip.

“Nope. Was just getting ready to head out when you called. There’s a demon bar like half hour away I can turn over then I got another crossroads demon to fry tonight if that doesn’t work. But by now I think I have stirred up enough attention.”

“How did you manage that?” Sam asked as he looked over his brother-in-laws shoulder and pointed at you.

“Abaddon supporter that realized I’m a Winchester. She wasn’t the first but she got the message. Don’t think she will ever order an angel blade for dinner again.” You took a drag of your cigarette and grabbed the Neosporin from your first aid kit.

“You being safe, babe?” Jax asked. You nodded as you smeared the cream on your lip.

“Safe as I can be. Salted doors, sigils in place, angel blade always in reach… I should be done tonight. If I know Crowley as well as I think I do, I have his attention, it’s just a matter of me coming out of hiding so he can find me.” The boys nodded as you tossed your Neosporin back in the box and snapped it closed. “So how are my babies?”

“Missing you.” Jax said as you packed the rest of your bathroom stuff away. “Tommy keeps asking if Ree can make him a Knight in shining armor so he can come help you with the bad people.” You smiled as you tossed your stuff in your duffle.

“I take it you’ve been reading to him, dear brother?” Sam shook his head and laughed as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“‘Sword in the Stone’ is on Netflix which led to the discussion of rescuing damsels.” You laughed as you threw the last couple things in your bag.

“So now mommy is a damsel?” You teased.

“Mommy is on a quest and De is the damsel… he obviously doesn’t understand the damsel concept.” Jax said with a laugh as you zipped your bag closed.

“I can’t wait to come home and hear him explain it… I bet it’s a riot.” You heard the garage door open again and Bobby’s voice echoed through the space.

“Is it really bad?” He asked over Thomas’ soft crying. Your heart broke and you caved.

“Here wait… let me try something on my end.” You said as you went over and turned off the lights, plunging your room into darkness. You grabbed your hunting jacket and threw it on quickly, pulling the hood over your head to cast a shadow across your face. “Sort of fix the issue?” You asked as you let the glow from your phone illuminate your face in soft light.

“Pull the hood toward me just a little bit.” Jax said as he looked at your eye and lip. You did as he asked and he nodded. “Now a little down… there… shadows it enough.” You saw the phone get jostled a little bit as Jax grabbed Thomas and sat down along the wall in the garage.

“Mommy…” Your son cried. You fought not to let your bottom lip poke out as you looked at the tear stained face of your little boy.

“Hey baby boy… mommy’s here. What are you cryin’ for?” He sniffled as he wiped his nose on the back of his little fist.

“I wanna fight da bad guys with you!” You tried not to laugh and kept very still.

“Well baby, if you come fight the bad guys with me then who is gunna help daddy watch John?”

“Papa…” You laughed and let your head fall back; unable to control yourself any longer.

“Tommy, papa needs a big boy like you to help him.” You said as you pulled your hood down over your face again and looked at the screen. “Don’t tell papa but he’s getting a little old to be fighting monsters.” You heard Bobby grumble that he heard you and you smiled and fought off the cringe as your lip pulled uncomfortably.

“Mommy, Unca De dasmm?” You giggled and nodded.

“Yea, baby. Uncle Dean is a damsel. Mommy’s trying to rescue him right now.” He nodded slowly and you could tell he was thinking hard about something.

“You has a sword, mommy?” 

“I have two swords, baby but I can’t show you ‘cause… they will lose all their magic if they see light.”

“Nice save.” Jax said and you nodded.

“You like that… but, I think it’s way past someone’s bed time and mommy has some rescuing to do.”

“Come home soon, mommy.”

“I will, baby boy. Hey Tommy… can you give daddy a big kiss for me?” He nodded and turned in Jax’s lap to give his dad a kiss. “Now off to bed. I gotta get going anyways.”

“Be safe, babe. No more of…. that shit.” he said as he pointed at the camera. “Wave bye to mommy.”

“Bye mommy…” Thomas said sadly as he kissed the camera.

“I love you guys. I’ll see you soon.” You kissed your fingers and touched them to the camera. You waved at everyone as they all wished you well and with a big sigh, you hung up the call. As quickly as you could, you flipped the light back on, gathered all of your stuff from around the room and headed out for the night to stir up trouble and find the King of Hell. 

——

“Well, well, well what have we here?” A man asked as you dug your hole at the crossroad at nearly 2 in the morning. “Baby Winchester didn’t get the memo?” You didn’t stop digging or move your head as your eyes darted around the area that you could see without being obvious. You heard three but only saw two sets of feet and your senses heightened.

“How many times am I gunna have to say it?” You asked as you gave your arm a slight wiggle to drop the angel blade you had in your sleeve into your hand while you kept digging. You dropped your head just the slightest bit as the third set of shoes stopped directly behind you.

“Say what, sweetheart?” A woman in front of you mocked as you finished your hole and pushed the box into it. You looked up at the two black eyed demons in front of you with a knowing grin.

“It’s Teller.” You dropped the blade all the way out of your sleeve and swung your arm back. You impaled the third demon perfectly through the hip. You stood up and spun as you ducked an attack from one of the demons that had been standing in front of you with a cocky laugh. “And long live the King.” You grabbed the angel blade you had tucked into the back of your jeans and slammed it through the back of the demon that had tried to sneak up behind you. As you pulled your blades from the body you heard a loud snap and the other two demons disappeared into puffs of smoke. 

“Long live the King; really darling? I thought you never… Oh kitten, your face.” You looked up at the King of Hell, who had finally came out of hiding and shrugged.

“She ended up as a glow stick so no harm, no fowl.” You wiped the blood off your angel blade on your jeans. “So, got your attention?”

“You’re killing off my employers, darling and hosting mass exorcisms at my bars. I can’t allow that; bad for business and all.”

“Bad for… really Crowley? Bad for business? What’s bad for business is turning a Winchester into a demon.” You said as you tossed one of your angel blades into the bed of your truck and grabbed the crossroads box from the hole. “Let me ask you something, Ree. How can you sit there with my sons and tell them you love them when you knew that you were turning their uncle into a monster with that Mark?”

“Kitten…” he tried to cut in but you raised your voice and kept talking.

“How can you look me in the eye and tell me you want the best for my family when you condemn members to a life like this, huh? Why did you do this? Why did you rip my family apart? Why was this the only option you could come up with knowing full well that when he died, which you knew would happen, he would…”

“Because I love him!” He shouted over you. You took a step back as his words hit you like a freight train. He looked away from you and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“You did this because you love him?! You damned my brother out of love?! How could you?”

“I didn’t know!” He said as he spun around and threw you against your truck accidentally in his rage. You collapsed to the ground on your butt with a groan. Crowley realized what had done, ran over and crouched down in front of you with tears in his eyes. “(Y/N), I am so sorry. I didn’t mean…”

“I know.” You groaned as you stretched your limbs out to make sure nothing was broken. “Fuck, that sucked.”

“My apologies, darling. I overreacted.” You huffed a laugh, pulled your cigarettes of your jacket pocket and laid your angel blade on the ground next to you. 

“Yea, you can say that again.” You grumbled as you lit a cigarette. You exhaled into the air as Crowley took the pack from your hand and lit one for himself with a snap. 

“You know, I haven’t had a fag in decades.” He said as he sat down in the dirt next to you. He stayed quiet for a moment as he took a long drag before he sighed. “I didn’t know we couldn’t reverse it. I have mother looking into it. I knew it would damn him, yes but I just… I was selfish, darling.”

“Crowley… you know we won’t let him live like that... and please don't lie to me and tell me you didn't know. We both know you did.” He nodded as he looked at the cigarette in between his fingers.

“I know. I swear to you, (Y/N) it wasn’t my intention for your brother to end up as a demon. We needed the Mark to end the ginger bitch and that winged dick bloke. I made the suggestion and… well things got a wee bit crazy. I underestimated the severity of it’s power. Things spun out of control and before I knew it…” He took a drag of his cigarette and glanced over at you with a shrug. “Once I realized where it was going, I couldn’t stop it; not just because I couldn’t but because I didn’t want to. Dean has always been hell bent on extremes. That’s why I love him. He’s the human version of me. I never wanted anyone to get hurt but I was just so tired of being alone. Don’t get me wrong, I love the boys but…”

“It’s not the same.” You sighed, knowing exactly what he meant. Your head and your heart were so conflicted. You knew what it was like to have to choose between love and reason. “Fuck Crowley…” You groaned as you dropped your head back against the caved in passenger door of your truck. 

“I know you and Sam will find Dean eventually and I know you have a way to cure him. I still have mother attempting to find a way to remove the First Curse but…” He looked over at you with tears in his eyes and licked his lips. “Kitten, I have only one chance. Please let me have even a few months.”

“Jesus Crowley…” You groaned as you looked up at the sky. “You know what you are asking me, right?” You looked back at him and he nodded.

“And I have no right, too.” You took a drag of your cigarette and sighed. After a few minutes of mental debate you shook your head and flicked your cigarette across the road.

“I won’t look for Dean, but you aren’t coming around my boys during your ‘summer of love’ with my brother.”

“It’s not even spring…”

“Sam and Bobby will find him and we will cure him. And I want the Mark removed before Tommy’s birthday so he can turn three with his whole family there.” You pushed yourself up off the floor and sighed as you grabbed your angel blade off the ground. “Fix my damn truck and keep my brother safe.”

“Well darling, I fully intended on doing more than just keeping your brother safe.” The sexual tone in his voice turned your stomach and you groaned.

“Oh God! Don’t say shit like that that way about my brother!” He chuckled as he got off the ground and snapped your truck door back to normal. You slid your angel blade back up your sleeve and shook your head. “Never tell Sam I agreed to this.”

“I’d never. Tonight, we simply argued and I threatened your sons if you keep coming after me or my men.”

“You touch my children with malicious intent and I will throw your ass in a Key of Solomon and show you what I learned in hell.” You said as you walked over to your truck to head back to the bunker. “Jax is gunna know the truth.”

“I never assumed otherwise. And your bruise is gone as well.” He said as he stuck his hands in his pants pockets and started walking away.

“Hey Ree,” you called out across the back of your truck. He turned around and looked at you with an ached eyebrow. “Take care of Dean. I can’t lose another family member.”

“Nothing will happen to him and if and when he gets too out of control, you lot will be the first to know.” You nodded slowly, torn at the choice you were making. 

“Enjoy it, I guess.” He huffed a laugh and disappeared. With a heavy sigh, you got in your truck and grabbed your phone. You dialed the familiar number as you lit another cigarette, the conversation you just had turning in his mind. You realized only a moment too late just how late it was.

“Babe? What’s wrong?” Your husband whispered sleepily. You looked at the clock on the dash and groaned.

“Shit baby, sorry. I’m fine. I wan’t paying attention to the time.”

“No, it’s OK. What’s up?” He whispered.

“I found Crowley and got answers I never wanted to hear.”

“Hang on. I’ve got Tommy in bed with me.” He whispered as his sheets rustled in the background. You heard him rustling around for a moment before a door closed and he sighed. “Sorry, he’s not digging mommy being away. So you found Crowley?”

“Yea” you sighed as you ran your fingers through your hair. “OK, this conversation is strictly between us. Sam finds out and it’s gunna be messy.”

“So like the husband and wife clause?” You smiled and started your truck.

“Yea… Crowley is in love with Dean.”

“No… eww… totally didn’t see that coming” Jax said as you leaned back against your truck door and stretched your legs across the seat.

“Yea, no fucking kidding. My son’s uncles having demon sex…”

“Eww! Stop you’re gunna make me throw up.” He said around a cigarette as he exhaled. “So let me guess… you gave into love?”

“God, you really do know me too well.” You teased with a giggle.

“We’ve been married for four and a half years. I would be worried for us if I didn’t.”

“I feel so conflicted, Jax. I mean, it’s Dean… but…”

“You’re a sap for a love story.” 

“You’re not making this better, Jackson.” You groaned as the mental image of your brother and the King of Hell in a romantic position crossed your mind. “Oh God! Now I’m picturing it! Oh God! Baby, I need bleach!” Jax chuckled.

“What you don’t wanna…. Aww fuck, now I’m thinking about it. Damn it (Y/N)!” You giggled as you took the last drag of your cigarette and shrugged.

“Serves you right, asshole. So, Ree is gunna keep him… he’s just gunna keep him for now. He’s got his mother finding a cure for the Mark and he has agreed to let us… straighten out our duck once Dean and the Mark get out of hand. And we are telling Sam that he threw me across the road and threatened the boys if I go after them.”

“Seriously? Jesus, babe…”

“What? What am I supposed to do, tell Sam that our demon brother is no longer straight and the King of Hell is bedding him and I’m letting it happen? I mean, don’t get me wrong, you wanna be gay, be gay but…”

“Yea, yea… I got it.” Jax exhaled sharply and sighed. “So, does this mean you’re coming home?” You nodded to the empty cab and sat straight up.

“Yea. I’m a only an hour out so I’ll be there when the boys get up. He healed the bruise, too so we don’t have to come up with a story for that.”

“Well that’s always good. You want me to stay up with you?” He yawned and you laughed as you put your truck in gear.

“No, go back to bed. I’ve got some shit to work through in my head as is and one of us needs to be able to parent tomorrow.” You heard him hum as a door closed on his end.

“Drive safe, babe. Love you.”

“I love you too baby. See you soon.”


	14. Chapter 14

~~~~~ LATE APRIL 2011 ~~~~~~~ 

“Lyla, this mirror is heavy!” You growled to your pregnant best friend as you carried the mirror into the bedroom of her new house. 

“Just put it down then!” She giggled. “I told you Ope could get it.” You leaned the mirror against the wall and ‘phew’ed with a small shake of your head as your son ran in with a single pillow for the bedroom.

“Yea, I know you did but I did it anyways.” You said as you caught your son by the middle and slung him over your shoulder. “You being a good little helper for Aunt Lyla?” You asked your giggling almost three year old as you headed back outside; dodging Jax and Opie as they carried more boxes in. He hummed in agreement as you put him down next to Ope’s truck to get more stuff to carry in.

The weekend you spent away looking for Dean gave your best friends plenty of alone time which thankfully led to a bun in the oven for the Winston’s. They were even more lucky to find a house that was for sale that backed your property. With a little bit of yard work, and cutting down a few trees, it was possible to make a direct path from back door to back door. Their house was a simple one story, three bed, two bath in wonderful condition and you had to admit, you were a little jealous of the quaintness. 

You handed your son another pillow to carry in and jumped up into the truck bed to grab some more bags. Just as you picked up a particularly heavy suitcase that you could only assume was full of bricks, you heard your phone ringing in your diaper bag on the porch.

“Shit, can someone grab that?!” You said as you heaved the bag to the end of the truck. Thomas, who loved talking on the phone, dropped the pillow he was holding and went running. You walked back up the bed of the truck and grabbed a different suitcase that was thankfully much lighter as Thomas came back with your phone.

“Mama, Unca Sam!” You son called out directly into the phone. You sighed as you leaned over the side to take the phone.

“Thank you baby. Can you take that pillow you just got all dirty in to Aunt Lyla and tell daddy to come get this bag, please?” You asked him. He nodded as he grabbed the pillow and ran as fast as his little legs would carry him.

“Daddy! Mommy says grab da bag!” He called out as he ran through the front door.

“Thanks son because I totally couldn’t yell out to him myself.” You said as you put the phone to your ear. “Sorry, Sammy. What’s up?”

“He gets cuter every time I talk to him.” Sam said with a laugh. You could hear the sound of the Impala’s engine in the background and your brow furrowed slightly.

“Yea, he does. Where are you?” Sam stayed quiet for a moment and you took a deep breath, expecting the worse.

“I found De. I’m going to get him.”

“Where is he?” You asked as you ran off the end of the truck and jumped to the ground.

“He’s in North Dakota. I’m almost there but I can’t come get you on the way back if you’re gunna have the kids.” You looked up at Jax and Ope in a panic as they came out of the house.

“Umm… fuck!” You moved the phone away from your mouth as your hands started to shake with nervous energy. “We found De. He’s in North Dakota. Sam’s almost there.”

“Shit.” Jax said as he stopped next to you and ran his hands through his sweat drenched hair. “This is gunna take us the rest of today, so I can’t go with you.”

“I know. If I take Thomas with me, can you keep an eye on John?”

“Can you take John, too?” You shrugged.

“Yea but I’m gunna be neck deep in demon cure… Thomas is easy to distract…”

“Yea… fuck.” 

“We’ll watch help him…” Lyla said softly from the door way. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.” You shook your head and looked at the car seat that was sitting on the front porch where everyone could see John sleeping peacefully as they worked.

“No. I can’t ask that of you, Ly. You’re gunna be busy helping the guys put everything in the right place. I’ll take them both and just figure it out.” With a sigh, you pulled the phone back to your mouth. “Sammy, me and the boys will meet you at the bunker. I gotta head home and pack so I’ll let you know when I’m on my way.”

“Wait, you’re bringing both kids?” Sam asked as you headed up the porch to gather your son and the diaper bag.

“Yep. Bobby is out of town and Jax is gunna be helping Ope and Lyla move into their new house so it’s mommy day.” Your brother sighed.

“Alright. I’m pulling in to the bar he’s at so I’ll text you when I am heading back.”

“Yea, alright. See you soon.” You hung up the phone and called into the house for Thomas as you dropped your phone in your bag.

“You sure about this?” Jax asked as he came up the porch and took the car seat from you.

“Jax, it’s Dean. We both knew I was gunna go when they found him. So, I have to take the boys… I’ll just barricade them in our room until we finish.”

“Yea, well I don’t like it.” He said as he bent down and picked up his oldest with one arm and put him on his hip.

“Trust me, neither do I but I can’t leave them here with Lyla when she is trying to get her house settled while she’s pregnant. Tommy is a handful for us on a good day.”

“HEY!” Your son shouted as you opened the back door to your car that thankfully had already been emptied of kitchen items you and Lyla had bought earlier that day. “I’m a good boy!” You laughed as Jax set him down on the floor board with a laugh.

“Yea, you are son. Are you gunna be a good boy for mommy and Uncle Sam?” Your son nodded as you took the car seat from Jax and walked around to the other side of the car. “Are you gunna listen to every single thing mommy tells you to do no matter what?”

“Yeesss!” You son said with an air of annoyance as Jax buckled him in.

“Be nice, smart aleck.” You said as you reached across the car seat and bopped your son on the nose. 

“Wonder where he gets that from?” Jax said as he looked up at you. You bopped him in the same way and he smiled and gently bit your finger, pulling away with a small kiss.

“Daddy.” You said as you blew him a kiss before you checked that the car seat was buckled in correctly. Jax chuckled and mmhmm’ed as he kissed his son good-bye and closed the door. With a heavy sigh, you stepped back so Jax could give John a kiss good bye. 

“Please be careful.” He said as he pulled you in for a hug. “I already have a knot in my stomach…”

“I know.” You said as you held your husband close. “Trust me, so do I.” He sighed as he rubbed his hands on your back.

“Come home to me.” He said softly as he kissed the top of your head. “And take care of my boys.” You nodded and looked up at him with a smile.

“I promise you I will. When you’re finished here, take the tarp off the bike and join us at the bunker.”

“Yea… sounds like a plan.” You gave him a kiss, holding him close to your heart. He pulled back slightly and rested his forehead against yours.

“I love you.” He said softly as he ran his hands up your spine and held your shoulders.

“Not as much as I love you.” You whispered back. With a quick kiss on your nose, he pulled away completely and dipped into the car to kiss his sleeping son’s forehead. 

“Be good for mommy, son.” He said to Thomas, who had grabbed one of his books from the car seat organizer you had on the back of the passenger seat for him. You son nodded, distracted by the pictures in front of him and Jax chuckled. “Don’t forget to jump on the bed and eat cookies for dinner.” At the mention of his favorite treat, your son looked up slightly confused.

“Can I has a cookie pwease?” You rolled your eyes and sighed as you lightly pushed your husband’s shoulder.

“Yea, baby. I’ll get you one when we get home to pack. We’re going to see Uncle Sam.” He nodded slowly.

“Do you tink Uncle Sam needs a cookie too?” He asked. You smiled at your thoughtful child and your heart absolutely melted.

“Yea baby boy. We can bring Uncle Sam a cookie too.” Your son nodded and went back to his book and you smirked at your husband. “He get’s that from me.”

“Yea, right.” Jax laughed as you stepped away from the door to close it and he handed you the car keys.

“I’ll text you when I get there.” With a quick nod and a chaste kiss, he opened the driver side door for you.

“I know Dean is your brother and all but make sure you put the boys first.” You nodded as you got into the car with a smile.

“You know I would put my life on the line for our babies. Don’t you worry about that.”

“Alright. I gotta get back to this. Furniture truck should be here any minute.”

“Be safe, have fun. I’ll see you tonight?” He nodded as he gave you one final kiss. With a pat on the door, he waved good bye to you and the boys as you pulled out of the driveway and headed home to quickly pack before saving your brother.

——

“Stay in this room no matter what you hear, baby. Uncle Dean is really, really sick and you gotta keep John safe for me, OK?” You said loudly over Dean’s shouted profanities that echoed through the bunker from the garage. Your son nodded with tears in his eyes as you hit play on the movie and turned the volume up loud.

“Is Unca Sam sick?” He asked as he pulled John toward him on the bed.

“No baby. Uncle Sam is gunna help mommy make Uncle Dean better. But you have to stay here for me, OK?” He nodded as you stepped back out of the room. You pulled the door closed behind you and ran to the garage to help Sam get Dean inside.

“Oh look, if it isn’t the little family wrecking whore.” Dean said as you stepped into the garage. You forced yourself to ignore the demon as Sam grabbed Dean and pulled him out of the back seat of the car.

“Grab his legs.” Sam said as he pulled Dean to the edge of the seat. You brother trashed in his bindings and let out an inhuman roar as you grabbed the chains around his ankles and pulled them into your hip. On the count of three, you and Sam lifted Dean out of the car as he roared and swore his way out of hell.

“You will never make this work! I don’t want this!” Dean shouted as you carried him through the bunker to the dungeon. 

“We need to gag him.” You said to Sam as you past the room your sons were in.

“I will. Did you get the blood ready?” Sam asked as you used your foot to open the dungeon door while Dean kicked your side repeatedly. 

“Yea, you’re set up for half and I have the other half waiting in the cooler.” You paused so Sam could walk around to get Dean in the chair. Once he was in the chair, you and your brother quickly chained him down to the chair; forcing yourselves to ignore the cruel words that poured out of your brother’s mouth. As Dean strained against the chains, you and Sam stepped back with a sigh.

“Alright, let’s get this started.” 

“Really? Sam, I know you think you’re gonna try and fix me, but… did it ever occur to you that maybe I don’t want to be fixed? Just let me go live my life. I won’t bother you; won’t bother (Y/N). What do you care?”

“What do I care? Really?” Sam asked as he began his Latin chant to start the cure.

“You think I’m just gonna sit here like Crowley? Getting all weepy while you shoot me up? Well, screw that. I don’t want this!”

“Yeah, we pretty much figured that out, De” You said as your older brother glared at you with pure hatred.

“You two don’t even know if this is gonna work, do you? You know, I got a hell of a lot more running through me than just demon juice.” You watched Sam fight to stay neutral as he grabbed the first syringe off the table.

“Mark of Cain, got it.” He walked over and waved the blood filled syringe in front of his brother’s face. “Buckle up.”

“Sammy, c’mon… You know I hate shots.” He said as his eyes focused on the needle as Sam uncapped it.

“We hate demons.” You said as you threw holy water in your older brothers face. He screamed as his face began to sizzle and Sam took his distraction to plunge the needle into his arm. Tears filled your eyes as you watched your brother eyes turn jet black and you took a step back. You wanted desperately to get away from the situation but you forced yourself to stay strong as Sam pumped the blood into Dean.

“Look, we got a whole bunch more of these to go. You could make it a lot easier on yourself.” He said as he tossed the finished syringe on the table and gently took ahold of your arm. You let him turn you and guide you out the door as Dean grunted and groaned behind you. As Sam closed the door, you let your tears fall.

“Are we sure this is gunna work?” You asked as Sam pulled you in for a hug. He sighed as you buried your face in his chest.

“I don’t know but I’m staying positive.” You nodded as you pulled back and wiped away your tears. 

“I have to go check on my babies. Come get me for round two.” Sam nodded as you turned away from him and headed down the hallway.

——

“For all you know, you could be killing me.” Dean said. You glanced over at Sam who simply shrugged.

“Or … You’re just messing with me. Either way, the lore doesn’t say anything about exceptions to the cure.” Dean let out a out an almost sickening laugh as he looked at the two of you.

“‘The lore.’ Hunters. Men of Letters. What a load of crap it all is!” He paused, waiting for a response from one of his siblings. “Oh, you got nothing?”

“You want me to debate you? This isn’t even the real you I’m talking to.” Sam asked as you leaned back against the wall.

“Oh, it’s the real me, all right. The new real me—the me that sees things for what they really are. Winchesters. Do-gooders. Fighting the natural order. Let me tell you something…”

“Mommy?” Your stomach dropped when you heard your sons small voice. You shoved off the wall and ran as Dean laughed almost manically.

“She brought the brats! How stupid can you be, bitch?!” You blocked out the sound of Dean’s voice as you scooped up your son and carried him back to your room.

“I told you to stay put, baby.” You said as you fought back your tears. Thomas started to cry.

“John got sick. I sowwy!” You shushed your son as you turned into your room. Your youngest was laying on his side, crying, surrounded by throw up.

“Shit.” You groaned as you kicked the bedroom door closed and put Thomas down. You crossed the room and picked up your son. You could feel that he was slightly warm almost immediately as you rested him against your chest with a heavy sigh. “Tommy, you gotta help me.” You said as you grabbed the edge of the comforter with one hand. Your son grabbed the other side and the two of you pulled the blanket down. The song playing during the ending credits of the movie you had picked barely covered Dean and John’s screaming as you balled up the comforter at the foot of the bed.

“Come up here baby. Let me check your clothes and your head.” Your son nodded as he crawled up on the bed and stood in front of you. His clothes looked clean at a glance and when you laid your hand on his forehead, he felt warm. 

“Crap… do you feel OK, baby boy?” You asked. He shook his head as he sniffled and you gave him a small nod as John threw up all over your shoulder and hair. You groaned as you looked up at the ceiling quickly before pulling the sheets back. “Alright, lay down, baby. Mommy has to get John cleaned up real fast.” Thomas laid down in the bed and you pulled the clean sheet up over him as someone knocked on the door.

“Every thing…. Oh, shit.” Sam said as he stepped into the room and looked at your two sick children.

“Can you do me a favor and get me a clean blanket for him? John threw up on that one. And maybe a trash can in case Thomas starts? They are both sick.” You said as you pointed to the ball of fabric at the end of the bed.

“Great timing, kiddo.” Sam said as he grabbed the ruined comforter while you pulled up a new movie on Netflix. “Looks like he got…”

“Yea… it’s dripping down my chest too, so can we not talk about it?” You asked as you grabbed your diaper bag for a clean outfit for John and your bag of kids medications. “I gotta shower and clean both of us up. Do you have a clean shirt I can wear until Jax can bring me something?”

“Umm… yea. I’ll just put it on the bathroom counter.” You nodded at your brother as you tossed the bag on the bed and dug for your phone.

“Thanks Sam. I’ll be in here when I’m done so come get me for round three.” Sam nodded as he headed out of your room. You dialed your husband’s number, praying he was still at home.

“Hey, babe. How it goin’?” he asked when he picked up after the second ring.

“I’m covered in throw up and both our boys have fevers. Dean is being a royal d-i-c-k and he knows the babies are here. Please tell me you’re coming down here soon.”

“They are both sick? Shit. Yea, I was just having a beer with Ope. I’ll head down now.”

“Change of clothes, please. And some extras for the boys would be nice. Oh, and see if he have a bottle of kids Tylenol in the medicine cabinet in our bathroom. I have less than half a bottle here and that won’t be enough for both of them overnight.” You heard Ope’s truck turn over in the back ground. You picked up the bag of medicine and pulled it open with your teeth.

“You got it. I’ll take the bike to get there quicker.” You nodded to the empty room as you picked up the thermometer and single handedly put a cover on it.

“Just don’t get pulled over, please. I can’t take care of both of them and worry about Dean at the same time.” You held the thermometer in Thomas’ ear until it beeped as he watched the movie around you.

“I’ll be careful, I promise.” You looked at your oldest’s temp. 101 degrees even.

“I know you will. Just hurry. John is throwing up and Cas is running on borrowed grace so he can’t help. We are stepping into hospital territory.” You switched out the covers on the thermometer to check John as Jax swore into the phone.

“I’ll be there as fast as I can.” You heard the phone go dead as Sam walked into the room with a clean blanket from another room.

“I can handle it here if you need to go…” You shook your head as the thermometer beeped.

“I’m gunna get him cleaned off and see if he will eat first. His temp is only at 100.2 and that’s right on the boarder. If he eats, we’re fine. If not… well… Jax is on his way so we’ll go from there.” Sam nodded as he covered up his nephew and grabbed the bottle of kids Tylenol off the bed.

“How much of this stuff does he get?” He asked as he looked at the label.

“Top Sharpie line on this.” You said as you handed him the medicine spoon. “Can you stay in here for a moment?” Your brother nodded as he poured out the grape flavored medicine.

“You got clean towels and one of my shirts on the counter.” You nodded and headed toward the bathroom as your three month old fussed in your arms. You could hear Dean’s screams of pain echoing through the halls as you walked briskly down the hall and into the bathroom.

“Alright baby boy, let’s see if we can bring this fever down a little bit.” You said as you turned on the shower. You quickly got the two of you undressed and stepped into the lukewarm water, praying that this would help because if it didn’t, you were up shits creek without a paddle.

——

All hell broke loose a little after injection number six. You were laying on your bed with your arm draped over both of your warm, sleeping sons. Their fevers were both still present but not any worse and thankfully, they were both able to eat and keep food down for now. You were watching them sleep more than you were watching the cartoon movie you had on in the background when an eerily calm voice called out in the bunker.

“Come on, Sammy! Don’t you want to hang out with your big brother? Spend a little quality time?” You snatched the remote off the table and muted the TV as Dean’s voice got closer. “Hey, (Y/N), where do you have my nephews? Maybe we can play a little hide and seek.” You jumped off the bed and ran as quietly as you could to the door to lock it. You pressed your back against the door as Dean stopped on the far side of it and chuckled. A light tapping, as if your brother was using just his finger nail, sounded against the door just next to your head.

“Come on, sis. Let me play…” The room was suddenly plunged into complete darkness for only a moment before a red security light flipped on and an ear piercing siren filled the room. You lunged across the room and cover your son’s mouths as they both began to scream.

“Smart, Sam! Locking the place down. Doors won’t open. I get it. But here’s the thing: I don’t want to leave! Not ‘til I find you!” You heard Dean call out as he stormed away from the door. Panic ripped through you as you tried to come up with an idea on how to keep your sons safe.

“Tommy I need you to stay quiet for me, baby. It’s all gunna be OK.” You said. You didn’t believe your own words as your son nodded against your hand. You looked around the room, seeing absolutely no where to hide when suddenly the lights turned back on. You looked around, and saw your car keys on the table and came up with a plan. “We are gunna go hide in the car baby. Play a little game before bed but you have to stay really quiet.” You yelped when you heard someone banging on the door.

“It’s me, you good?” You heard Sam hiss. You leapt up and ran to open the door.

“I gotta get them out of here!” You brother nodded as he looked around the hall and stepped into the room.

“He’s locked in the control room but he has a hammer. We have maybe a minute.” He scooped up John as you grabbed your two bags and slung them over your shoulder.

“Follow Uncle Sam.” You whispered to your oldest as you grabbed an angel blade from the top drawer of your desk. Thomas held his hands over his mouth to keep his sobs quiet and nodded as he scrambled off the bed and followed your brother through the bunker. 

“Come on, Sammy! Let’s have a beer, talk about it. I’m tired of playing. Let’s finish this game!” You heard Dean yell out, his voice a lot closer to you than you would like. Your heart pounded in your ears as you guided your son through the library to the garage when a hand wrapped around your pony tail and yanked you back. “Oh, come on now, little sis. Can’t leave just yet.” Dean said mockingly as you stumbled to the floor and the blade in your hand went flying across the room. You looked up just in time to see Sam holding the demon blade to Dean’s throat. The oldest Winchester’s eyes were jet black. He laughed at his younger brother and looked at your crying child in his arm.

“Well … Look at you. Do it. It’s all you. Let the baby see what kinda monster you really are, Sammy.” He mocked.

“Unca De please don’t hurt my brudder.” Thomas begged through his tears. Your broken heart shattered as Dean looked down at his nephew’s tear stained face. A slight bit of humanity that the treatments had given him took over as his eyes turned back to green.

“Tommy…” He whispered as his features softened. Out of seemingly nowhere, Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and pulled him backwards. An inhuman scream left your brother as you scrambled to your feet at the same time Jax ran through the war room.

“Take them and go. We got it from here.” Sam said as he pushed John into your arms. Tears streamed down your face and you nodded as Jax picked up Thomas and grabbed your arm. Sam raced past you to help Cas wrestle Dean back to the dungeon. 

“You good?” Jax asked as he pushed you toward your car. You half nodded, half shook your head as the two of you buckled your sons in as fast as you could.

“I’m sorry, babies. Mommy is so sorry.” You whispered as you buckled John into his carseat. Your husband didn’t say a word as he slammed the back passenger door and got in the front seat.

“My bike’s out front. We are going to a hotel to get some sleep then going home. You are never bringing my sons here again.” He snapped as you got into the driver seat. You nodded numbly as you pulled out of the garage. 

You felt like you were running on auto pilot as you listened to your sons crying in the back seat. The nearest motel was a good half hour away and you could tell by the way Jax was riding that livid didn’t even begin to describe how he was feeling. You barely registered pulling into the parking lot and getting your boys out of the car and into the room as Dean’s black eyed glare filled your thoughts. As you stepped into the room, Jax dropped his backpack, picked up Thomas and wrapped the three of you in a tight hug.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t know!” You sobbed into your husbands shoulder as your body trembled in fear. Jax tangled his fingers tightly in your hair on the back of your head and shook his head.

“I thought he was gunna kill you. I thought I was going to watch my whole family die and not be able to do a thing about it.” Your tears came out even harder as you nodded in agreement. After a few minutes, Jax pulled back and cupped your cheek in his hand. “Let’s get them to bed then we need to talk.” You nodded as he pulled you toward him for a chaste kiss before hugging his oldest to his chest. You picked up the bag and rummaged through it, grateful that your husband though to grab clean, not so hot pj’s for your boys. You handed him a pair for Thomas and walked over to the king sized bed to change John who had cried himself back to sleep.

“Daddy, is Unca De sick?” Thomas sniffled as Jax pulled his ‘Cars’ sleep pants on.

“Yea, son. Uncle Dean is very sick.” He glanced up at you and you wanted to chime in some reassuring information but after the display you had just witnessed, you have very little hope that the treatments you and Sam had been doing for hours would even work.

“The angels are gunna help Uncle Sam try to fix him baby, but he may have to go live with them in heaven after if he doesn’t get better.” You told your son; your words choked out with tears. 

“Like grandpa John?” Thomas asked. Your breath audibly caught in your throat and you bit your lip and nodded. Tears streamed down your cheeks as your reality set in. If this didn’t work; Dean was going to be a demon forever and you wouldn’t have a choice but to get back into hunting to stop him. You would have no choice but to lose your sons and the love of your life. As if reading your mind, Jax reached out and took your hand. He gave it a small reassuring squeeze as you gave your son a weak, unconvincing smile.

“Yea, baby. Just like grandpa John.”

——

“How could you think bringing our sons around that was a good idea, (Y/N)?” Jax snapped as the two of you stood outside the motel room door smoking a cigarette. “He would have killed them…”

“No, he wouldn’t have. We had enough blood in him…”

“Oh, don’t give me that bullshit, babe. I saw him!” You glanced into the room at your sleeping kids and shook your head as you took the last drag of your cigarette.

“Sam wouldn’t have let that happen. I wouldn’t have let that happen!” You said as you stepped away from the door so you wouldn’t wake up your boys. “You saw the tail end…”

“I saw enough to know that I don’t want my sons in this shit anymore. So you need to make a choice…” You blanched as you whipped around and glared at your husband.

“Excuse me?! You’re telling me to make a choice? Jackson, have you forgotten that our son was kidnapped and shot at because of the MC before he was even a year old? Have you forgotten all the danger you put us in for four years with SAMCRO?! I never once gave you an ultimatum…”

“That’s different! You were protected…” he roared as he pointed at you with his cigarette.

“And so were they!” You snapped as you pointed at the motel room door. “You and I both know Sam and I would have died to protect those boys so don’t you dare tell me to choose between them and you because of one incident.”

“Every time you’re around them something goes wrong, (Y/N)!” He shouted. “Every fucking time…”

“It’s hunting, Jax. It’s a dangerous life but then again so is gun running for the fucking cartel and the Goddamn IRA.” You hissed, forcing yourself to keep your voice low. “You have no legs here, Jackson and you know it. You don’t like it because you weren’t there to protect…”

“No, I don’t like it because my family was almost killed today.”

“Well I guess it’s a good thing we’re still alive then. Keep in mind, the supernatural world is what kept your fucking family alive at the end of the day twice now.”

“Well at least the threats with the MC were easily handleable.”

“OH! Nice try. I want you to think real hard about the Mayan we dealt with where I dislocated my shoulder in the van… or the Mayan’s on our honeymoon… and how about…”

“Oh, cut the shit. Those were just coincidences…” You shook your head and crossed your arms over your chest.

“Sorry baby. Those are not just coincidences. Those are things that come with the territory of that life, same way tonight was.” You shook your head as you uncrossed your arms and headed toward the hotel room. “If you really wanna make me choose, you can get your shit the fuck out of my house.” You stepped into the room and snapped the door closed as your phone began to ring on the table. You heard Jax’s Harley roar to life outside the room and tears welled in your eyes as you looked at the caller ID. “Hey Sam.” You sighed as you grabbed the pack of cigarettes and lit another one.

“We did it. He’s back.” You sighed heavily as you opened the motel room door again and leaned against the door frame to smoke.

“Thank God something good came out of tonight.” You said as you looked at the empty parking spot next to your car in front of you.

“Everything OK over there?”

“Nope… well, the boys are OK. Thomas is gunna have nightmares for years but Jax laid down the ultimatum. Pick my brothers or him.”

“Shit… please tell me you picked him…” Sam said as you took a long drag of your smoke.

“I’d be lying if I did, unfortunately.” You said as a slow trickle of tears fell down your cheeks. You brushed your cheek against your shoulder and sniffled. “I don’t think he’s leaving for good. He’s just a little frazzled like the rest of us.”

“Yea, I feel you on that. How are my nephews?” You glanced back over your shoulder and sighed.

“Thomas is still running a fever. John is warm but seems to be doing OK for now. I’ll probably take them into town to the doctor tomorrow all the same. Actually… I’ll need to borrow cash if I do that. All I have is enough pulled out of my account to cover gas and food.”

“Yea, of course! Want me to go with you? I gotta get out of this bunker for a bit.” You nodded into the night as you took the last drag of your cigarette.

“Sure. Two sick kids in a waiting room is never fun alone.” You flicked your cigarette out into the parking lot and sighed. “Hey, can you ask Cas to stick around tomorrow? If he doesn’t mind, I’m gunna have him alter Thomas’ memory of tonight. He doesn’t need to remember De like that.”

“Sure. I’ll ask him when I stop barricading myself in my room.” You giggled and stepped back into the room.

“Well I’d tell you that you could come here but I would put money on the fact that Jax will be back within the hour.” You heard the low rumble of his bike as you were shutting the door and a small smile spread across your face. “And there he is. I guess I can be grateful you live in a small ass town with no bar open past 2 and no strip club in it.”

“Call me in the morning?”

“Yea.” You said as Jax pulled in the spot in front of you looking madder than a hornet. “Night Sammy.” You brother said good night and hung up the phone as Jax ripped off his helmet and slammed it on his handle. Without a word, he stormed over and kissed you almost painfully.

“I’m so fucking pissed at you but I won’t be the man I was before you again.” He growled against your lips as he grabbed your thighs and lifted you off the floor.

“Good, didn’t wanna have to beat some skank down tonight after I killed you for cheating.” You said as you pushed the room door closed. You tangled your hands in his hair and pulled; drawing a moan deep from his chest as he stumbled toward the bathroom.

“Haven’t cheated on you yet; still don’t plan on it…” He growled as he shoved the bathroom door closed and pinned you against the wood. You let your head fall back on it as he kissed his way down your throat.

“Better not. I won’t go easy on the next bitch that touches my husband…”

“Will you shut the fuck up already, wife?” He demanded as he leaned back and glared at you. “I’m mad at you and I’m gunna fuck some sense into you.” You pulled your shirt over your head and tossed it across the bathroom, loving the fact that you didn’t put a bra on when you changed out of Sam’s shirt.

“Then why do you still have clothes on?” His blue eyes ignited as he dropped you to the ground.

“God, I love to hate you.” He grumbled as you ripped the flannel he had on open, sending buttons scattering across the floor.

“Hate sex is the best.” You said as you captured his lips with yours and the two of you frantically ripped off your remaining clothes. Jax grabbed your thighs and spun, laying you down on the cold tile floor. “Fuck! Really?” You hissed as you arched off the tile. Your husband chuckled as he slipped his hand between your legs and looked down at you.

“Really.” He said as he slipped a finger into you. You arched into him and your moan was muted by his hand. “Stay. Quiet.” He growled in your ear; his words morphing into a moan as you wrapped your hand around his hard length. 

“Make me.” You challenged as you looked up at him.

“You really don’t want to challenge me right now, babe.” he said as he slid another finger into you, knowingly bringing you to the edge you knew he wouldn’t let you fall over just yet. You squeezed your hand a little tighter around him as you tightened your hand in his hair. You moved so your lips danced against his ear as you let out a small laugh.

“Fuck me like I’m some slut you just picked up. I know you’re angry… show me.” You felt him twitch in your hand as he let out a long, low groan.

“Jesus Christ, babe…” He moaned as he pulled his fingers out; receiving a whine from you at the sudden loss. He kissed you roughly before he grabbed your hips and flipped you on to your stomach in front of him. “All four.” He growled as he tangled his hand in your hair and pulled. You gasped as a pleasurable rush coursed through your body and you scrambled onto your hands and knees. Without any sort of warning, he slid his hard cock into you; bottoming out in one thrust. He grabbed your shoulder and pulled you back by it and your hair so your back was flush against his sweat covered chest.

“God, I love angry you.” You groaned as you let your head fall back on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around your stomach and bit into your shoulder as he snapped his hips against yours.

“I’m about to make you shut up, whore.” He growled as he wrapped his hand around your throat. You put your hand on top of his and nodded as you reached behind you and tangled your hand in his hair.

“Do it. I trust you.” You said as you turned your head toward him. He captured your lips with his as he slowly tightened his grip around your throat. 

“Tap when you need air.” He said against your lips. You nodded as he slowed his hips to a roll and squeezed. You gasped and your head rolled back as your ability to breath was constricted. The action made every nerve ending in your body ignite in a way you had never felt before. You rode it out for a few seconds, letting the tightening in your core build before tapping on the back of his hand. He immediately let go and air rushed back into your lungs; heightening the experience even more.

“Shit!” You gasped as you pat his hand. “Fuck me harder and do it again.” Your husband chuckled as he snapped his hips.

“Look at you getting off on getting choked.” He said as he slid his hand down your stomach to find your clit expertly. He circled it with his fingers as he slammed into you harder and chuckled. “You are a little whore.” You moaned as he tightened his hand around your throat once more and suddenly everything exploded.

“Holy… fuck!” You gasped as your your whole body stiffened against his; your coil snapping with a choked cry. Pleasure you never thought you could imagine coursed through your body. Goosebumps raised on your skin as Jax let go of your throat and wrapped his arm around your shoulders to hold you to him. With a grit teeth growl, he came; his hips stilling against yours as you grasped at his arms. You clung to each other and held on to your highs as long as possible.

“Fuck baby… fuck, fuck, fuck…” Jax groaned as he sat back on his heels, pulling you back on to his thighs so he could stay connected with you as you caught your breath. “Where the fuck did that come from?”

“Anger and fear.” You gasped as you wrapped your arms over your head and held the back of Jax’s head. “Did you call me a whore?” He chuckled as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Sorry. In the moment.” He said as he kissed your shoulder.

“It worked.” You laughed as you dropped your arms and covered his. “We should do that more often. I like that.”

“Yea… I can tell.” He laughed as the bathroom door started opening behind him. “Whoa!” Jax threw his arm back and stopped the door from opening to far as you reached forward and grabbed your husband’s ruined button down.

“Daddy?” Thomas called out confused. “Where’s mommy?” He asked innocently. You glanced back at your husband and snorted.

“I’m right here, baby. Daddy and I are just talking.” You paused, looking back at the door as you waited for a response.

“Oh… I had a night scare. Can I talk, too?”

“No!” You and Jax both shouted a little too loud and you cringed and recovered.

“No, baby, this is adult talk. Go back to bed, we’ll be out in a minute.” You heard Thomas mumble something as the door went slack under Jax’s hand and he quickly pushed it closed and locked it. “Couldn’t think of that one before?” You asked as you got up on shaky legs and turned on the shower to rinse off.

“Heat of the moment. Wasn’t using the right head.” You laughed as you tossed the shirt back on the pile of discarded clothes and stepped into the shower.

“It’s fine. Cas is gunna alter his memory of tonight so he doesn’t have to deal with the nightmares. And then I’m taking them to the doctor after that if they still have fevers.” Jax nodded as he got in the shower behind you.

“Sorry I told you to choose.” He said as he wrapped his arms around your waist. You nodded as you wrapped your arms around him and laid your head on his chest.

“Sorry I used the MC against you.” The two of you stood there for a moment, letting the water wash away the fight before you pulled back and looked at your husband. You opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off with a smile.

“I love you, too.” He said as he leaned down and gave you a chaste kiss.

“How do you know I was gunna tell you I loved you. How do you know I wasn’t gunna say I wanted a divorce on the grounds that you’re a butt.” You turned into the water spray with a cheeky grin and your husband ran his hand up your back and over your shoulder as he pressed himself against your back. He laid his hand flat over your crow and his name; right on your heart.

“Because I know that there is no way this could ever belong to someone else other than our boys.” You let your head fall back onto his shoulder and nodded as you put your hand over his.

“My heart will always be yours, Jax. Always.”

"As mine is yours, (Y/N). Always.”


	15. Chapter 15

~~~~~~~~ LATE JUNE 2011 ~~~~~~~~~~~

“I don’t know what I am more of: hot or horny.” Lyla said as she leaned against the counter, helping you decorate Thomas’ birthday cake by tasting the frosting ‘to make sure it wasn’t poisoned’.

“Horny. Trust me, you ain’t got shit on hot up here. A pregnancy in Cali and a pregnancy here; I’ve done the research for you. Hot turns to cold quick. Horny stays until the second trimester and comes back with a vengeance during three.” Your best friend laughed as you whacked at her hand with the icing spatula so she would quit and she simply shrugged and moved to the other side of the counter.

“I’m wearing Ope out. I think he’s about ready for a divorce from too much sex.”

“I went through over a pack of batteries with Thomas and probably double that with John. You would think for a man that spent a year in prison, Jax would have been able to keep up, but…”

“Will you quit talking about our sex life!” Jax shouted through the open window from the front yard.

“Yea, right.” You giggled as you whacked at Lyla’s hand again. “Quit!” You laughed as she snatched an almost empty icing bowl off the counter and danced out your reach.

“Leave me alone, I’m pregnant!” She said as she stuck her blue tongue out at you and you burst out laughing. 

“You look like you blew a Smurf!” You giggled as she went out into the entry and stuck her tongue out to look at it in the mirror. “I’m tellin’ Ope you’re trading his six foot four ass in for a munchkin!” The two of you burst out laughing as the guys walked in.

“You two need serious help.” Jax said as he walked into the kitchen and ran his middle finger down the center of the cake you had half frosted.

“Hey!” You shouted as you quickly grabbed his hand; nearly head butting him to get the icing before he could. You made a show of it as you looked him in the eye and swirled your tongue around his fingers with a knowing smirk on your face. He grunted as you let go of his finger with a ‘pop’ and a smile. “Don’t talk about our sex life, baby.” You said teasingly as you pushed him away from the cake. “And go get your sons up from naps. Bobby, Jody, Alex, and Claire are gunna be here soon.”

“Alex and Claire are the runaways?” He asked as he scooped a little bit of icing out of one of the bowls with his finger.

“They aren’t runaways, idiot.” You told him as Lyla came back in to grab a glass of water. “A vamp family used Alex as bait for blood bags. Poor thing. She’s doing really, really well with Jody though.”

“She’s a really sweet girl.” Lyla chimed in as she snuck another finger full of icing.

“Fucking, quit!” You snapped as you snatched the icing off the counter and held it above your head. Ope and his unnecessary tallness took a step over and snatched it away from you with a smile. “You people are why I can’t have nice things.” You grumbled as you walked over and got out the extra icing that you had hidden in the cabinet. “So anyways, Claire is actually the daughter of the vessel Cas uses. So we’ve kinda adopted her into the family.”

“You can tell she just wants to be left alone. Poor thing has gone through hell.” Lyla said as you handed her her own bowl of icing so she would leave the icing you needed alone. 

“I’ve been trying to take her under my wing so to speak but she’s having none of it. Just watch, you’ll see it.” You heard the distant clink of your front gate as you finally finished icing the cake and you looked down at the blue covered funfetti master piece with pride.

“I thought you said your brothers weren’t coming.” Jax said as he looked out the kitchen window. 

“They aren’t.” You said as you grabbed the pack of sugar letters only half paying attention to what he said.

“Alright, so why am I looking at the Impala then?”

“I don’t know. Maybe… wait what?” You said as you spun around and looked out the window. “Shit… I don’t even wanna know…” You groaned as you pushed the pack of candy letters at your husband and headed toward the front door. You jogged down the steps as your brothers got out of the car. “If you are here for any reason other than to celebrate the third birthday of your nephew, you can just put your handsome Winchester butts back in the car and go back home.”

“Jeeze, where’d you get those manners from?” Dean asked with a laugh as he walked around the car. 

“We need to talk…” Sam said as he leaned against the car with a small smile. “We don’t need help on a hunt, we aren’t coming here for anything… but you need to know about this.” You sighed as you put one hand on your hip and ran the other through your hair. 

“I’ve changed my mind. You two are why I can’t have nice things.” You glanced back at the house and shook your head. “The Mark?” You asked as Jax came out of the house to smoke a cigarette. You knew he wouldn’t agree to Dean being here with the Mark and the last thing you wanted was to cause problems.

“That’s why we’re here.” Dean said as he pulled off the sleeve of his flannel and showed you his arm. The Mark of Cain was gone.

“Holy shit.” You exclaimed as you walked over to your brother and ran your fingers down his forearm. “How the hell…”

“That’s what we need to talk to you about. Stay a night or two if we can.” Dean said as he pulled his shirt back on. You nodded as he rolled up his sleeves.

“Can the talking wait until after dinner? Bobby, Jody and her girls are all coming…”

“Yea, that’s fine.” Sam said as he looked out toward the road as if he was expecting something. You looked back at Dean who shook his head and you sighed. 

“You two are gunna be the death of me.” You grumbled as you headed back up the porch to steal your husband’s cigarette.

“They want you too go hunt?” He asked as you took a long drag of the smoke while your brothers grabbed their duffles from the back seat.

“Surprisingly no but they need to crash a day to two. They have something they are running from…” Jax whipped his head toward you and you knew you had chosen the wrong words to say. “Wait babe…” You tried as he stormed off the porch toward Dean.

“What the fuck do you have following you now?” He growled as he shoved your brother back. You grumbled ‘shit’ as you ran to the front door.

“Ope! I need you!” You shouted and you darted back across the porch as Dean took the first swing at Jax. “Jax, don’t!” Your words were lost as your brother and your husband turned their distaste toward each other into a physical fight. You knew better than to get in the middle as Opie came running out of the house. Your shouts were lost as your best friend and Sam fought to pull the two anger driven men away from each other. Suddenly, a gun shot rang out and your head whipped up to see Jody standing next to her truck pointing her gun at Dean and Jax.

“Knock it off!” She snapped as Ope pulled Jax to his feet. You could hear Thomas calling your name and John crying as Jax stormed up the porch.

“He’s not staying…”

“Get inside, cool off and take care of your sons.” You hissed. “We’ll talk about this later.” You turned on your brother as Jody moved her truck up toward the garage with Claire laughing her ass off inside it. “You! I’m ashamed of you.” You said to your brother as Bobby whipped into the driveway; probably concerned with why he heard a gunshot. 

“I didn’t do…” Dean tried and you pointed toward the front door.

“Get your ass inside. Making a fool of yourself at your nephews birthday; who does that?!” 

“Such bullshit…” he grumbled as he ducked his head and headed toward the guest room like a scolded child. You looked up at everyone as they headed toward the porch and shook your head in frustration. 

“Guess it’s not a Teller party unless there is a little bloodshed. So now that we got that out of the way we should have no more issues, right?” You asked rhetorically as you headed over and opened the screen door. 

“What the hell did I miss?” Bobby asked Sam as every one said hello and headed inside.

“A fight five years in the making.” Sam said as you forced yourself to relax and enjoy your son’s birthday party despite the spectacle your brother and husband made. 

——

“I’m fine right here.” Jax said as he stood on the far end of the porch away from Dean late that night. You rolled your eyes and lit a cigarette as you sat down in your favorite rocking chair.

“Whatever. So what did you two idiots do this time?” You said as you crossed your legs and looked at your brothers. The two of them looked at each other, trying to figure out the right words and how to say them.

“Speak, ya idjits.” Bobby snapped as he sat down on the rocker next to you. 

“Long story short…” Sam said as he leaned back against the rail. “The Mark of Cain was basically a trap for God’s sister, the Darkness. Getting rid of the Mark set her free.” Your jaw dropped and you sat in stunned silence as your eyes darted back and forth between your brothers.

“What have you boys done?” Bobby asked slowly as he looked at Sam and Dean. 

“This one we really didn’t…” Dean started and you leapt up from your chair.

“If the words ‘we didn’t know’ leave your mouth right now, Dean Winchester, so help me God, I will fucking kill you myself, sell my soul to bring you back, and kill you again.”

“What were we supposed to do, huh?” Dean asked as you paced across the porch. 

“Not get in this mess in the first place?! Thought!” You snapped as you spun around to glare at him.

“I’ve heard enough. I want you both out of my house before I wake up.” Jax said as he headed inside. You wanted to follow him; wanted absolutely no part of this conversation but the look on Sam’s face stopped you. He just looked so damn tired… he looked like your dad.

“I don’t even know what to tell you guys to do any more.” You said as you looked only at Sam. “I mean, I can get on board with vetala, rougarou, and wendigo’s all day long. Vamps, demons; no problem! But you two have managed to find the worst of the worst out there and bed it down time and time again. I can’t keep doing this!”

“(Y/N), it’s not like we are going out of our way to find this stuff.” Sam said as he moved so he was standing directly in your line of sight.

“I know it’s not but… Sammy, this is big. This is out of your pay grade big. It’s also a situation that wouldn’t have been an issue if you didn’t go around looking for extreme measures to handle situations that could have been solved differently.” You said as you looked pointedly at Dean.

“Yo! Don’t look at me like that!” Dean said indignantly.

“Boy, she can look at you like that all she wants. You are the one who got yourself into this mess…”

“You can’t stop this one, guys.” You said as you slowly shook your head with tears in your eyes. “You’re absolutely no match for God’s sister. I love you both, but the two of you just brought complete chaos and destruction to the world. The apocalypse is nothing compared to this.” You walked over to the screen door; pausing with your hand on the handle as you took one last drag of your practically forgotten cigarette before dropping it in the can of water by the door. “Please be out of my house in the morning. I’d like to spend the time I have left with my husband and sons before shit hits the fan. Bobby, I’ll see you in the morning for work.” You heard both your brothers say your name as you stepped into the house and closed the front door. 

Tears fell softly as you climbed up the stairs. When you hit the top, you turned toward your boy’s rooms. You stood in the doorway of your oldest son’s room, smiling weakly at how he was curled up in a ball the way you slept with the new tiger stuffed animal Lyla and Opie had gotten him wrapped in his arms. It was his current favorite animal. You forced yourself not to think about the fact that there was now a chance you would never see him grow up; never see him fall in love or have a family of his own. You quietly walked across the room and kissed your little birthday boy on the forehead before moving on to John’s room. 

As you looked into his crib, you let out a small sobbed laugh to see him laying on his back the same way Jax did. You could already see so much of the love of your life in your youngest and it broke your heart to think it could all come to an end before either of your boys could really experience life. You kissed the tips of your fingers and brushed them gently across the soft skin of your son’s cheek. With an even weaker smile, you left the room and headed to your room.

“Come here babe.” Jax said softly as you partially closed the bedroom door. You dissolved into full tears as you stripped down to your shirt and panties and crawled up the bed into your husbands arms. Neither of you said a word as you held each other close; both silently wondering how many more nights you had with each other. Wondering how many more days you would have watching Thomas play on the swing set Jax and Ope build him a few months back. Wondering if you would ever see John walk, talk, or even crawl. Wondering if your friends would ever get the chance to become parents and what would happen to Bobby. Your room was thick with pain and sorrow as the lights downstairs flipped off a few minutes before you heard the rumble of the Impala out front.

“No matter what; I will always love you.” Jax said as he kissed your forehead. You nodded in agreement, your throat too thick for words as you looked up at him. He brushed his thumb across your cheek and cupped your jaw in his palm. “Thank you… for our sons, for this life, for everything you have given me. You are my angel.”

“Jax…” You whispered before he cut you off with a kiss; his own tears slowly creating a path down his face. “I will love you past my last breath, Jackson Teller.”

~~~~~~ NOVEMBER 13TH 2011 ~~~~~~~~

The five month between your oldest son’s birthday and your youngest’s first went by slowly and entirely too quickly at the same time. You and Jax forced yourselves to live life as normally as possible for your sons. The two of you and Bobby agreed not to tell Opie and Lyla; she didn’t need the stress and you didn’t want Opie to have to lie to her. You tried not to think about it; tried not to worry about the unknown but you still found yourself crying yourself to sleep in Jax’s arms every night. The unknown finally made itself known the day before John’s first birthday.

“Hey have you seen this solar eclipse thing we have going on?” Lyla asked as you sat in your rocking chair on your front porch smoking a cigarette.

“Yep. Out front looking at it now.” You told your friend over the phone with tears slowly falling down your cheeks. You knew it wasn’t a solar eclipse. This was the end. 

“It’s crazy. According to the news, NASA doesn’t even know what’s going on. The moon isn’t causing it.”

“I’m sure it’s no big deal.” You lied as you tried to wipe your tears away. “Probably just some fluke thing.”

“Yea, probably. Hey, let me call you back, I have a baby on my bladder.” You let out a forced laugh and hung up the phone. Jax walked out to join you after putting your sons down for a nap. He sat down in his rocker and you immediately got up and moved to his lap wordlessly.

“What’s gunna happen?” He asked as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you as close as physically possible. You shook your head before resting it on his shoulder.

“I don’t know. I think it just… ends.” He gently rocked the two of you back and forth as you watched the sun diminish quickly from the bright glowing orange light it had been all morning.

“Should we wake the boys?” Jax whispered as dusk began to settle in despite it being the middle of the morning. You shook your head.

“Let them sleep. They don’t need to see this.” You said as you buried your tear stained face in your husband’s neck. 

“I’m not done loving you yet.” He choked as his tears fell on your face. He pulled you impossibly closer as sobs wracked your bodies.

“I will never be done.” As night enveloped you, you forced your head up and cupped your husbands cheeks. “I love you, Jax.” You whispered; wanting those to be the last words he heard.

“I love you, too, (Y/N).” He replied as he tangled his hands in your hair and crushed his lips to yours. Your tears mixed together on your skin as you said good bye to the love of your life; wishing you could have just one more day with your family. Wishing that this wasn’t really happening. Wishing that it wasn’t suddenly so damn hot in the winter… You brow furrowed and you pulled away and opened your eyes as your phone rang on the table. Your eyes flew open wider to see the morning light.

“What the hell…?” You asked as you looked around while your phone stopped ringing.

“Are we dead?” Jax asked as you phone started ringing again. You reached back and grabbed it off the table. You shook your head when you saw the name on the caller ID. You put it on speaker as you stood up and looked at the sun curiously.

“Sam? What the hell…?”

“Dean stopped her.” You whipped around to look at Jax as a choked laugh escaped your lips.

“It’s over?” You asked as he jumped up from his chair and wrapped you in a hug. 

“Fuck, I love you.” He said as he crashed his lips to yours in a bruising kiss.

“Yea… sorry to interrupt guys but… De…” His words were choked off and he cleared his throat. “Dean didn’t make it out of this one and he’s… it’s the real deal this time.” You pulled back and looked at the phone in your hand as you gripped Jax’s arm for balance.

“W-what?” You stammered. “He had to have… there’s no way…”

“I’m heading to you. I’m in Louisville so I’ll be there tonight. (Y/N), I… I need you.” You nodded as tears welled in your eyes once more.

“Yea… Sammy, I’m here. We’re here for you.” Sam tried to say something but changed his mind; hanging up the phone with a sob. You looked at Jax as regret and guilt crashed down on you and your lip began to quiver.

“The last thing I said to him…” Was all you could get out before you burst into tears.

“Fuck. Baby, shhh. It’s OK.” Jax soothed as he wrapped you in his arms. “I’m so sorry, baby. He knows you love him.”

“Dean…”

——

“Mommy m’eese!” Thomas cried out over the small TV you had in your kitchen while you made lunch for your sons. You forced yourself to focus on being a mother and a functioning member of society and not the fact that you had to find a way to tell your son that Uncle Dean was living in heaven with the winged dicks that you partially blamed for his death. Then again, you blamed everyone except your brothers.

“Thomas Eric, I need you to stop yelling. I promise you, you will get your mac and cheese if you just wait a minute.” 

“… Filip Telford escaped from Folsom Prison in California today after this morning’s solar eclipse knocked out the power in the prison. He is considered armed and dangerous…” You whipped away from the stove and looked at Chib’s mug shot on TV as your phone started ringing. You ran to the kitchen window as your son continued to whine about lunch and threw it open.

“Jax! Get in here; you need to see this!” You heard the rocker he was sitting in scrape across the floor as you grabbed your cell phone.

“Did you see it?” Lyla practically shouted as you rewound the news story for Jax.

“Yea. Showing Jax now. I gotta get ahold of Crowley to find him before they do. Let me call you back.”

“We’re coming over.” You heard Opie say in the back ground. You didn’t even get a chance to respond before she hung up. You pushed pause on the TV as Jax ran into the kitchen looking confused and a little panicked. 

“Look.” You said as you pointed to Chibs’ mugshot and hit play; turning up the volume to counter Thomas’ now almost screaming to get your attention and John’s cries at the noise. Behind your back, Jax grabbed a package of Oreo’s from the cabinet and gave one to each son, effectively silencing them as you single handedly finished lunch while calling Crowley.

“Well hello kitten. Haven't heard from you in a while.”

“Still having a little bit of trouble erasing mental images from my mind, sorry. Hey, I need a demon power favor.” Crowley chuckled as you grabbed a pre-made, crust free peanut butter and jelly sandwich from the fridge and put it on Thomas’ plate.

“And what would that be, dove?” You smirked, knowing he would not like your request as you put the phone on speaker and leaned back against the counter.

“First, I want you to know you are on speaker, in my kitchen and the boys are in here for lunch. Second… Chibs managed to escape from Folsom this morning. I need you…

“Over my dead body am I saving that wretched, cock sucking, dick for brains wanker!”

“Hey! Kids!” Jax shouted as he muted the TV.

“And technically, you are already dead so I guess that works too. Consider it payment for your summer of love?”

“You are a… horrible individual, (Y/N).” Crowley said as he hung up the phone. You laughed as you put the phone down on the counter down and looked at your now chocolate covered sons to see why they were so quiet.

“Really, Jackson? Oreos?” You husband looked at his sons with a look of almost pride and shrugged.

“They were hungry. Couldn’t let them starve.” You rolled your eyes as you spooned mac and cheese onto the plate with the sandwich.

“You can handle pre-nap bath time for that one then.” You said as you handed him Thomas’ plate at the same time that your entry way turned into a European screaming match.

“Take yer filthy English ‘ands of me, ye weasel-headed bastard!”

“Oi! I’m here as a fucking favor and I’m fucking Scottish, you twat!”

“Like fuckin’ ‘ell…” You went running out of your kitchen with an uncontrollable smile on your face.

“Whoa! Easy killer!” You said as you and Jax rounded the corner at the same time Opie and Lyla ran through your front door. Chibs, who was still dressed in a prison uniform, brandishing a hand made shiv looked around at the four of you in utter shock as Thomas shrieked at the sound of his uncle’s voice.

“REE!” He screamed as he came running out of the kitchen, covered in chocolate and Kraft cheese sauce.

“Who is this handsome… yet extremely dirty fella, hmm? Can’t be my little Thomas?” Crowley said as he picked up his nephew he hadn’t seen in a year. 

“Ye’s all are dead!” Chibs finally said as he looked around the room.

“Not quite. We are as dead as you will be by the end of the day, however.” Jax said as you and he looked over at Crowley. The King, feeling the eyes on him as he tried to wipe chunks of cookie out of his nephew’s hair, looked over at you with his eye brows raised.

“Was that a question…” he started. You arched your eyebrow with a small smile and Crowley groaned and rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes, alright. I’ll kill the bloody cunt.”

“Language!” You snapped as Crowley walked into the kitchen with Thomas to finish lunch. 

“Bloody hell! When did this one shoot up?!” Crowley called out.

“This one?” Chibs asked as you stepped back into the kitchen to answer Crowley. 

“Our other son. Turns one tomorrow, actually. John Filip.” Jax said. You looked back at your friend as his eyes filled with tears and you nodded.

“You were there for me when we needed you. I had to honor that memory some how.” You said softly as you gestured him into the kitchen. Chibs nodded slightly as he followed you; stopping to give Jax a fast hug.

“Oh, love. It’s mini-ye.” Chibs said as he stopped next to you and looked across the kitchen at your youngest. 

“Oh no. He may look like me but that little boy is Jax’s mini. Tommy is mine.” You said as you watched Crowley airplane mac and cheese into John’s mouth. With a small smile you pat your friends shoulder. “Come on… let’s go talk.”

—— 

Chibs, who was now wearing some of Jax’s winter clothes, looked at the four of you as he tried to process everything that had happened in the past year with Gemma, Clay, Juice, RICO and what you could tell him about the supernatural world.

“So… this means I’m free… but dead?” He asked as you rocked yourself on your chair.

“Same as us. This is a small town; people don’t ask questions. You’ll be safe here.” Opie said as he lit a cigarette.

“Sam can get you a public identity when he gets here tonight. I can talk to Bobby, see if he has it in his budget to hire you on as a mechanic in the warmer months. Cash, off the record, so you don’t exist.” You said.

“In the winter, Ope and I fix snowmobiles and do the mobile mechanic thing around town. We do a lot of shoveling for the people out here. We’re working on getting a snow plow for these back roads since we are really far out here.” Jax told him.

“And you’re more than welcome to stay in either our guest room or (Y/N)’s.” Lyla chipped in as she rocked next to you; her hand slowly dancing across her large baby bump. “But our daughter is due next week so it might be a little quieter here.”

“’It’s a lot to take in, we know.” You said as you tried to read Chibs’ nearly blank stare.

“Sorry… ‘m still tryin’ ta wrap my ‘ead round this all.” He said as he pulled a cigarette out of the pack on the railing. “I can’t believe ye’s all are alive.” You huffed a laughed as you looked up at Jax, who was leaning on the rail in front of you.

“God, you have no idea.”

“Hey, are you expecting someone?” Opie asked as the sound of a car pulling into your driveway caught your attention. Your brow furrowed and you shook your head.

“Not until tonight.” You said as you tried to see around Ope. You realized that that wasn’t happening and straightened your legs out to stand up.

“Holy shit… it’s Dean.” Your stomach soared as you leapt from your chair. Your brother got out of the car with an almost cocky smile.

“Miss me?” You were just about to run down the stairs to greet him when the passenger got out of the car. The whole world ceased to exist as John looked over the top of the car at you and you came to a dead stop on the top of the stairs. 

“Daddy?” You whispered into your hands as tears welled in your eyes. Reason went out the window as you ran down the snow covered steps in your socks, slipping slightly as you hit the bottom.

“Hi sweetheart.” Your dad said as you ran and jumped into his arms as tears poured down your cheeks.

“How are you here?” You asked as you wiggled to get down; instantly regretting your choice as you landed in ankle deep snow.”No, pick me up! Pick me up!” You shrieked as you tried to jump on the hood of the car to get away from the cold. 

“Amara brought him back. Said since I gave her her family back I should get the same thing.” Dean said as he headed up porch with John carrying you on his back right behind him. “Where’s Sam?” 

“On his way. Have you talked to him?” You said as your dad put you down. 

“Don’t have a phone. Figured he’d come here since he thought I was dead.” 

“Jesus Christ, this day is getting weirder and weirder.” Jax said.

“Yea, you’re tellin… Holy shit, Chibs!” Dean said as he finally noticed his old friend. 

“Dean-o. ‘ow are ye, lad?” Dean shrugged as they gave each other a back slapping hug.

“I mean, I almost blew myself up this morning so I guess I’m doing OK.”

“Aye. Died my self ‘parently. Wee bit confused ta say the least.” Dean laughed and nodded.

“Yea, tends to happen when you know the Winchesters now-a-days. Can we go inside? That piece of shit car didn’t have a heater.”

“Umm… Ree is in there with the boys.” You said as Dean moved to open the door. You watched a slight blush creep up Dean’s ears as he looked over at you.

“Shut up, Button.” He snapped at your knowing smirk. You raised your hands and pursed your lips.

“Didn’t say nothing, De.”

“Boys?” John asked as everyone headed inside. You nodded as you laced your arm through his.

“Your grandsons. Thomas is three and John turns one tomorrow.” You told him softly as you walked him inside to your little war zone. 

“No!” Thomas screamed from upstairs over the sound of running bath water; his least favorite thing in the world these days. He would much prefer taking a shower like a big kid. 

“Thomas. You have chocolate in your hair…” Crowley tried to reason with the three year old.

“No! Big boy bath!”

“I got it…” Jax sighed as he headed toward the stairs.

“Well I was going to make lunch before everything got a little crazy so I’m hoping grilled cheese sandwiches are OK with everyone because I don’t have anything else.” You said as you looked around at your visitors. 

“I’ll help. Ope, you wanna start a fire in the living room and help Dean fill in gaps for Chibs and John?” Lyla said as she looked at her husband expectantly. He nodded as Dean toed off his boots and made himself comfortable in your home like he always did. 

“De, call Sammy!” You said as you pulled off your wet socks and headed into the kitchen to see Crowley there looking as confused as ever.

“Dean and John are back from the dead?” He asked softly as he peaked out of the kitchen toward the living room.

“Dean apparently never died. Amara… who I’m assuming is the Darkness, brought dad back as thanks for her getting her family back…?” You said; your words trailing up in a question as you didn’t know what that really meant to begin with. Crowley nodded.

“Well, that’s an interesting twist of events. That would explain as to where Chuck went.” You looked over your shoulder at him as you grabbed butter and cheese out of your fridge.

“Who the hell is Chuck?” Crowley chuckled as Lyla started laying out pieces of bread to get buttered.

“That, kitten, is what God chooses to be called these days.”

“Oh, for the love of… fuck…” You grumbled with a small shake of your head.

“Wait, you met God?” Lyla asked as she plugged in your griddle. 

“We fought his sister together, darling. Of course I’ve met him.” 

“So how’s your relationship going?” You asked; trying to avoid having to admit to your best friend that you had been lying by omission for the past 5 months. You looked at Crowley pointedly; giving him the silent and subtle clue to take your hint.

“Oh! Well… that is… not… something I wish to discuss with you, kitten. It’s rather personal and…”

“Are you still fucking him on the DL or what?” You asked flat out; causing Lyla to snort with laughter. Crowley’s cheeks flared red. He opened his mouth to respond, snapping it closed a second later as he looked at his nails as if they were the most interesting thing in the entire world.

“Frankly, darling that’s none of your business.”

“That’s a yes.” Lyla giggled as the two of you flipped sandwiches.

“Wretched women… I hate both of you.” Crowley said before he disappeared.

“I can’t believe he and Dean…”

“Who and Dean?” Jax asked as he walked in to the kitchen with a clean son on each hip. “Figured you would wanna do the introductions with this one.” He said as he bobbed his head toward Thomas.

“Crowley and Dean are still doin’ it.” You said as you started stacking finished grilled cheese sandwiches on a plate. You paused for a moment and turned around to look at Jax and shook your head. “How the hell do we explain this one?”

“Now you see why I said you could do it.” You rolled your eyes as Lyla unplugged the griddle and put the rest of the sandwiches on the stack. With a heavy sigh, you walked over and took your oldest from Jax. With a small shake of your head you pulled something out of thin air that you hoped made sense to a child.

“Hey Tommy… you know how grandpa John went to live with the angels before you were born? Well, Uncle Dean and Uncle Sam helped the angels and God with some big things recently. The angels decided that because they were so helpful, they would let grandpa come back to us so he could meet you and your brother and watch you grow up.” Your son crinkled his face, thinking hard about this new information. 

“Are the angels letting everyone go back to their families?” He asked.

“Umm… no baby, just grandpa. And it’s only this one time.”

“Why?” You blanched and looked at Jax; realizing that there was no easy way to answer this question. 

“Because your Uncle Dean gave God his family back.” Lyla stepped in. “And God didn’t want your mommy to raise you without your grandpa. So he did what is called a favor. That’s something grown ups do to help someone out when they do something for each other.” Your son stayed quiet for an unusually long time; processing the information. You looked back and forth between Lyla and Jax, wondering what he was thinking before he nodded.

“I should make God a thanks card. Dat’s what I gotta do for Santa when he brings gifts, too.” You all laughed and nodded as Jax kissed the side of his son’s head proudly.

“Yea, that’s a good idea. Maybe you and grandpa can even make it together so you can both thank him.” You suggested.

“Is he good at crafts like papa?” You nodded as you thought about your dad’s amazing artistic ability. 

“Grandpa is amazing at crafts.” You said as you grabbed the plate of sandwiches and headed toward the living room. “You should ask him nicely to draw you a tiger.” Thomas cheered as you stopped in the doorway of your living room and looked at your dad. “Tommy, this is your grandpa.” You said as you set the plate down on the table and sat on the arm of the couch next to your dad.

“Grandpa draw a tiger for da card?” Tommy asked as he crawled out of your lap and into John’s. Your dad looked a little startled and chuckled.

“I think I can draw a tiger. What’s the card for?”

“We gots to thanks God for letting you come back to mommy. You gots ta make a card for a gift.” Your dad’s eyes shot up to yours and you gave him a smile.

“Those are the rules in this house. Get a gift, you write a thank you card.” Your dad’s eyes filled with tears and he nodded as he looked back at his grandson.

“Yea… we can make a card.” Thomas smiled and wiggled off John’s lap.

“OK. I go gets the papers.” He said as he darted out of the room to the play room you had down stairs. Your dad smiled and put his hand on your knee as everyone grabbed a sandwich.

“And this little guy is your and my dad’s namesake.” Jax said as he passed off your youngest to your dad. 

“He looks like you.” Your dad said as he looked back and forth between his other grandson and you. “Little bit of Sam as well.” You nodded as Jax grabbed two sandwiches and handed you one.

“He may look like me but he has Jax’s personality. Tommy is mini me.” You said as your oldest came running back with a stack of papers and his box of crayons and colored pencils. Your dad nodded as Thomas push all his stuff on the couch and used your dad’s jeans to pull himself on the cushion next to him, causing John to laugh.

“Oh yea. He is just like you.” He said as he helped his grandson up. 

“Give me the wee one. I need ta love the little bugger.” Chibs said as he stood up and reached across the coffee table for little John. You smiled at your family; the dysfunctional chaos that it was.

“World almost ends and we get a grandparent and one of our friends back because of it.” Jax whispered in your ear. You smiled and nodded as you wrapped your arm around his waist.

“I call that a Teller win.”

——

The smell of bacon and something burning woke you up way too early for your liking the next morning. Your brow furrowed as you looked to the other side of your bed at your sleeping husband. You knew Chibs wasn’t an early riser so that left one of the three Winchester men. As quietly as you could, you slipped out of bed and headed down stairs. You could hear grumbling that you immediately recognized as your fathers as the smell of strong coffee slammed into your senses.

“Daddy? What are you doing?” You asked as you leaned against the door way, rubbing sleep out of your eyes. John turned around to look at you with a sour look on his face.

“Your pans are stupid.” You giggled as you walked into the kitchen and looked at the stove.

“First of all, they are not stupid, they are amazing.” You reached in front of him and turned the burner he was using for what you assumed had to be pancakes down from ‘high’ to ‘medium’ with a smile. “Second, they are teflon. Non-meat foods cook on medium so the whole thing cooks not just the outside.”

“That explains it.” He said as he scooped up the pancake he was burning onto a pile of other burnt ones on a plate to his right.

“Third, I have a fancy griddle to cook pancakes on. Has a pancake temp in the book and everything.” He hummed at the new information as he grabbed the bowl of batter and started in on a new pancake. You pat his shoulder and headed over to make yourself a cup of coffee.

“You know… I don’t think I have cooked on an actual stove in thirty somethin’ years.” He said as he flipped the bacon in a different pan. “Diner food, fast food… Mary, the core… I never really had to.”

“Well, you are more than welcome to stick around here and practice if you want.” You hopped up on the counter next to the stove out of the mess as he looked over at you.

“Thanks, princess. I appreciate that.” You nodded as you took a sip of your coffee; letting it warm you from the inside. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here.” He said as he flipped the pancake over; his brow knit in frustrated thought. “After Mary the only thing I had going was the fight. I ruined my kids lives because of it…”

“Dad, you didn’t ruin our lives…” He looked up at you with a serious ‘Sam bitch face’ and you quickly chewed on your bottom lip to keep from laughing as you realized that John was the originator of the look.

“One of my sons ran away to college to get away from me and two years after that, my only daughter did too. Don’t tell me I didn’t ruin your life.” You shook your head as you set your coffee mug down.

“You didn’t. If I hadn’t run away, I would have never met Jax and had my sons. My brothers wouldn’t be the strong, determined, crazy, independent men they are now. Sure, we were a little different from most families but from where I sit today- 27 years old with a beautiful family, a job, a house… I wouldn’t trade anything about my life to get me to where I am right now. So if anything you gave me this.” You gestured around the kitchen, indicating your life before you picked your coffee back up and took another sip.

“Yea… well, still. Now my fight is over but according to your brothers there is still a fight out there…”

“There will always be a fight, daddy. The question that I had to ask myself years ago was is it worth it?” He looked up at you; the fighter in him obvious in his gaze and you sighed. “Not what I meant it to sound like.” You put your coffee mug down and tucked your hands under your thighs as you took a moment to collect your thoughts. “I don’t know if it was just because I’m not Mary’s daughter or if the hunting life was never really meant for me but I always looked at what you and my brothers did as not my fight… because it wasn’t. It was yours to avenge the love of your life and theirs to avenge their mother. My mother was just a piece of shit; nothing I can do about that.

Now that your revenge is done, you find yourself in my shoes. Sam and Dean have managed to find themselves in a fight with Lucifer… again. It’s not your fight, daddy. You don’t have to hunt with them. You said it yourself yesterday, this must be God’s way of giving you a second chance. You raised them right as hunters. They can handle this fight like they did the first time. You don’t have to take on the responsibility if you don’t want to nor do you have to feel guilty if you choose not to.”

“She’s right, dad.” Dean said as he leaned against the door frame of your kitchen with Sam right behind him. “If you want to stay and help raise your grandsons and be the parent you couldn’t be for us because of the circumstances, we don’t blame you and we won’t stop you. Shit, Sam and I want you to stay.”

“We don’t hate you for raising us how you did. It was the cards you were dealt. It prepared us for the things we face today in and out of the hunting world. But we also know that if you had the option when we were babies, you wouldn’t have wanted that life for us. You would have wanted the life (Y/N) has made for herself for us.” Sam said as he stepped into the kitchen past Dean and leaned on the counter next to you facing John. “We may butt heads more than territorial goats but you were the best father I could ever ask for. It just took me a while to realize it. Minus, you know, the giving your kids guns for Christmas at the age of nine to protect us from bad Santa but that’s a different story all together.” The four of you chuckled as Dean brought Sam a cup of coffee and stood by his side.

“Like I said, all we are saying is that if you want to take the second chance that you were given to be with your grandsons, do it. Sam and I; we got this. Lucifer will be back in his cage in no time. And no extreme measures will be taken to do so.” Dean said as he glanced at you with a knowing smile.

“Yea, better not.” You grumbled with a smirk as you grabbed your coffee and took another sip before looking back at your father. “And if you choose to go with them, I won’t take it personally… you are a hunter after all. Your truck is in the garage. The gun in the glove compartment was replaced by coloring books and Cheerio boxes and the photos have all been updated but the weapons box is still loaded and I’ve taken care of her.”

“You still have my truck?” John asked as he added another perfectly cooked pancake to the growing stack. 

“Yep. I had Bobby bring it to me after you died and I’ve had it ever since. Had to replace the carburetor and the transmission last year and she’s a bitch to find parts for... but it was yours. It’s come in handy over the years, too; Jax loves it in the winter but we can get a new one.”

“Keep it.” He said with a small shake of his head. “I can get one from the lot… if you’ll help me rebuild it.” He looked up at you hopefully. You nodded with a genuine smile.

“Yea… I’d like that.” He nodded his head and glanced over at his sons before going back to making breakfast.

“So, uh… can I get some of that bacon?” Dean asked as he craned his neck to look at the pan. You rolled your eyes as you jumped off the counter.

“There goes De and his no chick-flick moment rule.” Sam grumbled as you headed toward the stairs to get your youngest before he woke up and started crying.

“Somethin’ burnin’?” Chibs asked as he walked out of the room that was designated as the play room.

“My dad didn't know how to use a teflon pan. It’s OK; there’s coffee, pancakes and bacon.” Your friend moaned as he pulled a shirt that was way too big for him over his head.

“Real bed, real food. Cheers, I’m in ‘eaven.” You laughed as you shuffled upstairs and dipped into your room to throw on warm clothes to go out for a smoke.

“You’re up early.” Jax groaned as he rolled over in bed to watch you.

“Dad was trying to cook pancakes on ‘high’. Had to save the house from being burned down.” Jax huffed a laugh as you crawled across the bed and gave him a kiss. “Do you care if he sticks around for a while?”

“Nope…” Jax yawned as he rolled onto his back and stretched. “Two live-in sitters we trust… maybe we can try honeymoon take two.” You laughed as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you down on top of him.

“I love you, baby but you shot me on our first honeymoon. I don’t think…” Your words were lost in a yelp as he tickled your sides and rolled you underneath him.

“God, you’re such a smart ass.” You smiled up at him as you tried to tame his wild bed head.

“You still love me.” You gave him a chaste kiss and pat his cheek. “Now, up you get. Our baby boy turns one today.”

“Where did time go?” Jax asked as he rolled off you and flopped back on the bed. “And with your dad moving in, we gotta start calling him Johnny or something so we don’t confuse the two.” You looked over your shoulder as you pulled your bra into place with a half mouth smirk.

“I think it would be a little strange for you to call my dad Johnny, babe.” You dodged the first pillow expertly but the second one hit you square in the back.

“I hate you sometimes.” You smiled as you tossed the pillows back on the bed and walked over to his dresser to grab one of his long-sleeved SAMCRO t-shirts that you loved to wear in the winter.

“I know you do. Now quit being lazy, we gotta head into town before people start comin’ over.”

“For what?” Jax asked as he rolled out of bed and grabbed a shirt from the drawer you were closing.

“Chibs needs clothes. I know Bobby has my dad’s old stuff but you, Ope, my brothers and my dad are all too broad for that man to borrow clothes from. I’ll just use one of Sam’s cards. And with two people moving in, we need more food.” Jax shrugged as he headed toward the bathroom.

“I’ll stay here. You can take him.” You shrugged as John started to fuss over the baby monitor.

“Have fun hanging out with Dean, then. No fighting.” Your husband popped his head out and shook his head.

“On second though, you may need my help… carrying shit.” You laughed as you headed out of your room to get the birthday boy with a smile on your face. You hesitated for a moment outside the door and looked up at the ceiling.

“Thank you.” You whispered softly to the mystery man and woman you now fully believed in who gave you part of your family back. With a small nod, you stepped into the room and cooed at your youngest pride and joy.


	16. Chapter 16

~~~~~~~~~~~ Epilogue ~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mommy it’s my birfday!” Johnny shouted as he ran into your room as fast as his three year old legs could carry him. Your arms flew to your stomach to protect your growing, seven and a half month old daughter from your rambunctious middle child but before he even hit the bed, Jax grabbed him and pinned him to the mattress between you.

“Hey. You know you need to be careful with mommy.” He scolded sleepily as he looked over at the clock; 6:47 am. “How are you up so early anyways?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” Your son sighed with a smile as he rolled onto his knees and crawled over to you. Just like he did every morning, he bent over and put his small hands on your stomach. “Hi baby Mia. It’s my birfday t’day. I’m free years old. You can come to my party but grandpa says you has ta stay in the belly longer.” A smile pulled at the corner of your lips as you rolled your head on the pillow to look at Jax. “Maybe you can come next time. You gotta be cooked by then.”

“Oh, my God.” You laughed as you brushed your hand over the back of Johnny’s head. “You have been hanging out with Uncle Opie too much, birthday boy.” Your son smiled and kissed your bump before crawling up on his knees to kiss your cheek.

“Uncle Opie is funny.” He said as he crawled toward Jax to get off the bed.

“Go see if grandpa’s awake.” Your husband groaned as he made sure little John got off the bed without getting hurt. “Slow on the steps.” Your son nodded as he darted out of the bedroom. Jax quickly got to his feet and snuck over to the door to make sure your son didn’t run down the stairs and once he was at the bottom and running to your dad’s master suite down stairs, he came back to lay down for a few more minutes.

“That’s your son.” You said as you rolled back to your side and pulled the blankets up over your head. “Not mine. Mine is still down stairs in bed like a good kid should be.”

“Swear to Chuck that if this new one comes out with this much energy, I’m giving them both back. I’m just gunna shove ‘em both right back up there.”

“Not happening, Jackson.” You laughed as he scooted across the bed and ducked under the blankets with a shit eating grin. “They come out once and they never go back in. Especially since John got your big head.” Jax scowled as he fought the urge to tickle you in retaliation.

“Be glad you’re pregnant.” He said seconds before you heard a screech of laughter from down stairs.

“(Y/N)! Get your ass down here and get this monster child!” John roared. “I’m old! I need sleep!” You giggled, threw off the blankets, and started the process of trying to roll off the bed until Jax helped push you up.

“Mom! Make Johnny go away!” Thomas cried out a few moments later as you slowly made your way over to the bathroom.

“Go get your kid!” You laughed as you looked back at Jax. 

“Johnny, leave your brother alone!” Jax called out as he got out of bed and plodded to the door. You smirked at his back as you grabbed the long sleeve maxi dress you had put out the night before off the dresser. You got dressed quickly and made your way down stairs as your oldest stumbled out of his bed room looking very pissed off at the world.

“Hey buddy.” You said softly as you put your hand on the top of his head as Jax headed out front for a cigarette and brought Johnny with him so he could run some energy off on the porch. “He’s just excited, OK? Cut him some slack today.”

“I know.” Your five year old sighed as he leaned his forehead against your side and got a kick on the forehead from Mia. You saw a small smile pull at the corner of his lips as he stood up straight and poked back at her. “Thanks Mia.” He laughed before looking up at you. “Morning mom.”

“Morning, baby. Wanna come help me make breakfast? Then maybe you can run out to go get Uncle Chibs?” He nodded his head and yawned as he trudged toward the kitchen in front of you.

“You know, I don’t understand why the Scot got to get his own little house on your property and I didn’t.” Your dad said as he came out of his bedroom fully dressed like he probably had been for at least an hour since John Winchester was not a late sleeper.

“Because he didn’t sign up for these kids.” You said as you started grabbing stuff from your fridge for your family of five. “He’s just an Uncle. You’re the grandpa. You have to put up with them just like you had to put up with me.” He rolled his eyes as he reached in front of you and grabbed the heavy juice and milk jugs before you could.

“Horrible…” He grumbled. “… rotten child.” You smirked at him and helped Thomas get pans out as Johnny and Jax came back in.

“We’re having cheese eggs, right mommy?” Johnny asked as he came in to help as well.

“It’s your birthday, baby boy.” You said as you cracked some eggs in a large bowl while Thomas helped his grandpa read the recipe for waffles so he could practice his reading. “I know you want your favorite.” He smiled at you with a big, toothy grin and went over to the table to sit and watch cartoons just like he did every morning. It was only a matter of minutes after Thomas had finished his reading before he lost interest and went to watch TV as well. 

Once everyone was fed and dishes were done, you bundled your boys up and set them loose in your back yard so they could go and wake up Chibs in the one bedroom, one bath that he, Opie, Jax, and the Winchester men built on the edge of your property, backing Opie and Lyla’s the summer after he had been ‘rescued’ from jail. The same summer, the guys fenced in your and the Winston’s lots in one giant piece of land so that your two boys and their daughter could run wild and be safe between the three houses. It went up in perfect time since after that next cold winter, you and Lyla both got pregnant with your third and her second within two weeks of each other.

“Baby go sit.” Jax scolded when you started pulling out food and stuff for the birthday party that was going to start at 11. “We can handle this.”

“I got it.” You said as you tried to reach for the platter of cut up veggies you and Lyla had slaved over the day before. 

“(Y/N)! Go sit!” He said a little more forcefully as he whacked your hand. You scowled at him as he put the veggie tray out on the counter at the same time Thomas, Johnny, and Scarlett Winston came running into your house from the side door toward the play room.

“Take it easy kids.” John said as he held his coffee mug above their heads on his way to put the baby gate up on the stairs to prevent any of Johnny or Scarlett’s class mates off the stairs when they showed up. 

“You got banished, too?” Lyla asked as she came into the kitchen and immediately sank down into the chair across the dining room table from you with a sigh of relief.

“Couldn’t even get the tray out of the fridge.” You said with a nod as Opie came in with the cake Lyla had ordered for your kids double party since they were exactly a week apart in age. “Do you know what your husband told my son?” You asked as you pulled a chair out to prop your always swollen feet up.

“Jesus, Ope.” She groaned as Jax gave you both a glass of sweet tea.

“He told my kid that Mia would be cooked enough by his next birthday.” The two men in the kitchen tried to hide their laughs but failed miserably as you and Lyla both shook your heads.

“At least he didn’t tell him to push down on your belly button to see if the baby was ready yet.” She said, causing Jax and Ope to burst out laughing.

“That’s a good one, brother.” You husband said as you glared at him.

“Oh no, I got one better.” You said as you crossed your arms over your chest and fought successfully to hide your smirk. “Jackson thinks that he can just return the rambunctious kids by just shoving them back up there.”

“Ye people need serious ‘elp.” Chibs said over the howling laughter from his brothers as he came in the side door with a cooler full of beer in his arms. “Ye all are very unbalanced individuals.”

“Boys are here!” John called out as he checked the baby gate at the foot of the stairs.

“They can let themselves in like they always do!” You called back loud enough so that Sam and Dean could hear through your front door. You heard the dead bolt turn as you rubbed your hand over your bump. “We’re in here!” You yelled as your front door opened.

“See, if that was the case and that’s how we returned kids…” Lyla said as she set her drink down on the table and looked over at you with a smile. “…at least Scarlett doesn’t have that giant head…”

“That’s what I said!” You laughed.

“What’d I miss?” Dean asked as he came in to the kitchen with a large bag of presents.

“Twisted, morally questionable conversation.” Jax laughed as he gave his brother-in-law a one armed hug that brought a smile to your face. It only took the pair of them a few months and one very loud talking to from your father for them to set aside their differences and be civil with each other.

“Yea, that doesn’t surprise me.” Sam laughed as he set his cooler of kid friendly drinks on the counter. “You guys are all seriously fucked in the head.”

“Yea well you associate with them so that makes you part of that classification as well.” Your dad said as he came into the kitchen to join the adults in setting up for the party. 

“What about you, old man?” You joked with a smile and he simply shrugged.

“Me? I’m the idiot that has to listen to the shit that you guys come up with and force myself not to cringe.” The group of you laughed and nodded as everyone naturally broke off into small groups of conversation. You looked around your kitchen at the men in your life as the sounds of children’s laughter floated down the hall from the play room and your heart swelled with more love and happiness than you ever believed possible. You couldn’t stop the tears that welled in your eyes as you looked at the live that still blew your mind every day.

“Hey…” Jax said softly as he kneeled down beside you so that he wouldn’t draw everyone else’s attention your tears. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, baby.” You said softly as you reached out to cup his jaw in your hand. “I just… this… I love this.” His worried look instantly vanished as he reached up to put one hand on yours on his cheek and the other on yours on your bump.

“It’s perfect, right?” He asked with a nod.

“It is.” You said as he moved your hand with his to wipe off the tears on your cheek.

“And it’s all ours.” He said with a nod as he stood up and gave you a chaste kiss. “You brought this family together, baby girl. Through thick and thin, ups and downs, deaths, jail time, and resurrections. You made this.” You smiled and looked out at your family as they bustled around your kitchen.

“It’s my heart.” You said with a glance up at him. “You guys are my whole heart.”


End file.
